Arya blaming the Hound for her mom's death

[AnarchoPrimitiv]

One instance that made me really dislike Arya is when she blames Sandor for not rushing into the Twins during the Red Wedding to save her mother.  It's obvious to the readers that there's no way he could have rescued her mother, and that furthermore, it would have certainly resulted in Sandor's death if not Arya's....so why does Arya hold this against him? and why does GRRM make her behave in this way?  My only guess is that GRRM is trying to demonstrate that Arya is still a child and thus has unrealistic expectations as well as lacking a firm grasp on reality.  Nobody thinks Arya is being reasonable here right? Or am I the one that's wrong?

[HexMachina]

Of course she is being unreasonable. But as a 10 year old girl who has just had her family killed after months of utter horror trying to return to them, it's understandable that she would be angry at someone who was there but didn't rescue them (even if rescue wasn't possible)

[OldGimletEye]

Meh, Arya was very young when that happened. So, I cut her a huge amount of slack.

Yes she was being unreasonable and hard headed. But, Sandor can be unreasonable and hard headed. Two peas in a pod they are.

[Danelle]

• She is a child
• She had to face the fact that her sister's wolf had died because of Joffrey's accusations and that she had to abandon her wolf
• Not to mention that Sandor Clegane hunted and killed her friend, Mycah
• She had wintnessed the brutal murders of guards, who were loyal to her family and dear to her
• She had witnessed her father's execution
• For a brief period she was under the protection of a rough but kind man, Yoren, he died
• Then she has to face life as Gregor Clegane's captive
• She briefly hopes that Roose Bolton might be an ally but she changes her mind
• She briefly hopes that the BWB will help her but she feels lonely and then she is abducted by Sandor, who had won his trial
• At least she expects that she will reunite with her mother and older brother but they die at her uncle's wedding

 

Even an adult would feel frustrated and angry after all those traumatic incidents.

Arya needs someone to yell to, all she has is Sandor. 

[SevasTra82]

It's human nature to find someone to blame for your misfortunes, and it seemed to me as if Arya put her families death on The Hound, as if it was all *his* fault and he could have prevented it (when in reality, we all know that this was not the case).

It was just Aryas way of coping...putting the blame on another in order to justify and/or find reason for it happening.  Sadly, this happens a lot in real-life as well.

[OldGimletEye]

14 minutes ago, Danelle said:

•  
• Not to mention that Sandor Clegane hunted and killed her friend, Mycah

Yes there was this issue too between Arya and Sandor, which is important to keep in mind with regard to Arya's relationship with Sandor.

And even though, I think Sandor came to regret his actions with respect to Mycah, let's face it: With a level of charm akin to a thermonuclear device, Sandor wasn't exactly completely tactful about the situation, so it's understandable that Arya would often get pissy with Sandor.

[Chocs]

She was a 10 year old girl at that point who had to cope with the fact that her last hope of reuniting with her mother and brother ended in shreds. Not to mention, Arya and Sandor's relationship wasn't exactly the best, she was his hostage. Granted he started warming up to her later on but one shouldn't really forget he murdered her friend and escaped punishment for it. To hold something this small against a 10 year old girl who was going through hell seems really unreasonable. 

[Dorian Martell]

7 hours ago, AnarchoPrimitiv said:

One instance that made me really dislike Arya is when she blames Sandor for not rushing into the Twins during the Red Wedding to save her mother.  It's obvious to the readers that there's no way he could have rescued her mother, and that furthermore, it would have certainly resulted in Sandor's death if not Arya's....so why does Arya hold this against him? and why does GRRM make her behave in this way?  My only guess is that GRRM is trying to demonstrate that Arya is still a child and thus has unrealistic expectations as well as lacking a firm grasp on reality.  Nobody thinks Arya is being reasonable here right? Or am I the one that's wrong?

Inorite? why the hell can't a 10 year old girl be more rational about the horrors of medieval warfare after her teacher was killed, she watched her father get his head cut off, she left her sister behind, her brother's are killed and then her mom is killed. I mean really, what the hell? 

[Ferocious Veldt Roarer]

7 hours ago, AnarchoPrimitiv said:

One instance that made me really dislike Arya is when she blames Sandor for not rushing into the Twins during the Red Wedding to save her mother.  It's obvious to the readers that there's no way he could have rescued her mother, and that furthermore, it would have certainly resulted in Sandor's death if not Arya's....so why does Arya hold this against him? and why does GRRM make her behave in this way?  My only guess is that GRRM is trying to demonstrate that Arya is still a child and thus has unrealistic expectations as well as lacking a firm grasp on reality.  Nobody thinks Arya is being reasonable here right? Or am I the one that's wrong?

 

I don't get you. You answered your own question: Arya was still a child, and furthermore, Arya was deeply hurt for the umpteenth time. She had seen deaths of her family and friends, she had to kill, she'd been hunted, she'd been a slave, and as the cherry on top - the Red Wedding. In such circumstances, only Mary Sue herself would be fair and moderate.

That "made you really dislike Arya"? Goodness.

[Philokles]

If only she had acted more rationally in response to grief like the adults in her family. Like telling her stepson she wished it was he who suffered instead.

[bb1180]

She's young and she's lashing out in a matter that's irrational,  but also understandable and, for me,  easily forgivable taking the circumstances into account.  

[Joan Jett]

7 hours ago, Sept Sev said:

If only she had acted more rationally in response to grief like the adults in her family. Like telling her stepson she wished it was he who suffered instead.

Jon wasn't Cat's "stepson". He was her husband's bastard and she had no obligation to care for him. 

[Minsc]

8 hours ago, Sept Sev said:

If only she had acted more rationally in response to grief like the adults in her family. Like telling her stepson she wished it was he who suffered instead.

Or her half-brother who attempted to knife a superior officer over a minor insult in his grief.

[Philokles]

12 hours ago, Joan Jett said:

Jon wasn't Cat's "stepson". He was her husband's bastard and she had no obligation to care for him. 

I know, it was hyperbole to make the point that all people, regardless of age, can do something that they otherwise would not when in grief.

[Hoppy Hour]

On 19/4/2016 at 0:15 PM, HelenaExMachina said:

Of course she is being unreasonable. But as a 10 year old girl who has just had her family killed after months of utter horror trying to return to them, it's understandable that she would be angry at someone who was there but didn't rescue them (even if rescue wasn't possible)

This.

[AnarchoPrimitiv]

On 4/19/2016 at 1:26 PM, Ferocious Veldt Roarer said:

 

I don't get you. You answered your own question: Arya was still a child, and furthermore, Arya was deeply hurt for the umpteenth time. She had seen deaths of her family and friends, she had to kill, she'd been hunted, she'd been a slave, and as the cherry on top - the Red Wedding. In such circumstances, only Mary Sue herself would be fair and moderate.

That "made you really dislike Arya"? Goodness.

I guess it was more prudent to insult me than discuss the topic?  Is there something that offends you about the way I find arya's behavior annoying?  If you'll notice, I did ask if I missed sometjing, maybe I missed a detail that would better explain the situation, so I was asking for help to clarify, while you're making it seem like I was making a firm declaration.  Either way, I find it quite strange, weird, whatever that you are getting offended FOR arya....a make believe book character...or are you offended by the fact that I wasn't sure if I grasped the situation completely?  Please let me know why you felt it necessary to be condescending.

[RoamingRonin]

On 4/19/2016 at 6:15 AM, HelenaExMachina said:

Of course she is being unreasonable. But as a 10 year old girl who has just had her family killed after months of utter horror trying to return to them, it's understandable that she would be angry at someone who was there but didn't rescue them (even if rescue wasn't possible)

I agree with this. We should also consider that Martin is lampshading fantasy tropes: in a different book, the Hound might have stormed into the Twins  and saved Catelyn before it was too late. It just occurred to me that Arya was being a bit like Sansa in her hopes and dreams. Life isn't like a song. The reality of Westeros doesn't work that way.

[Snowmelter]

As for Mycah, Arya herself realises (when she is on the road after the RW) that she didn't even really know him.  They played together. She uses the memory of Mycah as a seed to sprout her hate-pearl, but then can't even really remember him.  She admits this to herself.

"She tried to think of Mycah, but it was hard to remember what he looked like.  She hadn't known him long.  All he ever did was play at swords with me."  Arya   ASoS

[ShadowCat Rivers]

38 minutes ago, Snowmelter said:

As for Mycah, Arya herself realises (when she is on the road after the RW) that she didn't even really know him.  They played together. She uses the memory of Mycah as a seed to sprout her hate-pearl, but then can't even really remember him.  She admits this to herself.

"She tried to think of Mycah, but it was hard to remember what he looked like.  She hadn't known him long.  All he ever did was play at swords with me."  Arya   ASoS

Yea, but I don't really understand what's the point you are making here. I don't suppose you suggest that she should be alright with Sandor murdering Mycah just because she didn't really knew him too well, right?

[Adam Yozza]

If I was a ten year old kid who had watched a beloved teacher be killed, watched her father be executed, watched a trusted ally be killed, spent time as a prisoner of one of the most monstrous men in the country, watched the murderer of a friend walk away free, got kidnapped by that murderer and then my mother and older brother were killed while that murderer; who is also a very competent and fierce warrior; didn't save them even though he was right outside the place it happened I'd probably blame the guy as well. Is it logical? No. Is it 100% understandable? Yes absolutely. I don't see how this made you "really dislike Arya". It's a completely human reaction. Hell it's probably better than how a lot of people older than Arya would deal with this situation.