How quickly can you compose yourself after going through airport security?

[Tears of Lys]

Generally, it takes me less than a minute to get my clothes back on, gather up crap, and split.  (unless I have my stenography machine w/tripod, computer, exhibit stickers, etc., etc., etc., which weighs WAY too much.  It takes me a couple good heaves to even get that damn thing up on the conveyer.  In that case the rest of you fuckers just have to wait till I'm good and done.  Never fear, though.  I haven't had to travel with that in years.) 

BUT. . . the whole idea pisses me off to no end.   To think that flying was once considered something romantic and exciting - "See the world!" - and now look at it.  All they're missing are cattle prods to complete the experience.  AND YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR IT TOO.  No bolts shot into the brain at the end, though, so that's something.

Nice of the airlines to lower the prices and fees since fuel prices have dropped too.  /sarcasm

[James Arryn]

On my last Euro-trip last year I flew about 20-25 times in under 6 months...all on one carry-on size bag...so it gets to where you barely notice, tbh. The only unknown is that sometimes you have to remove your shoes, sometimes not, and I never figured out what the determination was.

I did set off the metal detector at one point...probably brushed it with my hand, the guard said later...and was subjected to a pretty intense full-out frisk, but otherwise it becomes kinda like lining up to pay for the subway.

[Prince of the North]

15 minutes ago, Leap said:

I'll never understand how people still manage to go through the metal detector with metal belts on. 

At the airport I usually go via (Manchester) once you're through the metal detector they have quite a lot of space at the end and various flat surfaces, so it's easy just to take the box with all your stuff in to there and you're out of the way and can take as long as you like. The only problem is that the boxes aren't quite big enough to fit a bag, shoes, laptop/other electronics, liquids and your passport/boarding pass.

 

This is my approach.  I just get out of the way as quickly as possible.  And it usually only takes me a minute or two anyway.

[Filippa Eilhart]

I set off the detector about once every two flights. Either it's my bras or I'm just unlucky.

[Jaxom 1974]

I bitch and moan about my belt every single time, but I'm trying to be better about it.  

Security became more interesting with small children,  especially once they were walking. Our goal is to be efficient and get through and then move anything that could gum things up for other people to the end of the area and get it together.  I worry about the kids first, then me.

[HexMachina]

3 hours ago, Leap said:

I'll never understand how people still manage to go through the metal detector with metal belts on. 

At the airport I usually go via (Manchester) once you're through the metal detector they have quite a lot of space at the end and various flat surfaces, so it's easy just to take the box with all your stuff in to there and you're out of the way and can take as long as you like. The only problem is that the boxes aren't quite big enough to fit a bag, shoes, laptop/other electronics, liquids and your passport/boarding pass.

 

Use more than one box then? Or just put your bag on the conveyor and the rest of your stuff in the box? I usually do the latter.

I hate getting patted down though. I always struggle to keep a straight face for some reason, and I always think it will look odd and a bit creepy if I start grinning as they pat me down

[polishgenius]

They don't usually want you electronics in with the bag and coats anyway, so you're probably using two boxes anyway.

And yeah, security's kind of a drag but if the airport's even halfway decent it shouldn't take any time or trouble at all to get yourself together after it, you don't have to stand there at the rollers getting everything square. Shoes on if you took them off, jacket/coat on on, everything loose dropped into various coat pockets, laptop slid into bag and away you go. Securing and belting up can be done out of the way.


I think my favourite 'stupid reason to get pulled up' was a guy who'd frozen most of a litre of water and tried to take it through. Was stood there arguing as they confiscated it and it was just like 'chap, you're being very clever with the exact wording on liquids but you're also being stupid and also get the fuck out of the way'.

[Tears of Lys]

1 hour ago, HelenaExMachina said:

 

I hate getting patted down though. I always struggle to keep a straight face for some reason, and I always think it will look odd and a bit creepy if I start grinning as they pat me down

You've given me a great idea! 

Now that I'm a younger member of the older generation, I think I'll start grinning and   - ing if/when they pat me down.  It'll be funny to watch their reactions.  

But they probably won't even be paying attention.     They, most likely, get that all the time. 

[IamMe90]

I got a full body pat down once and I loved it. It was just a tad arousing and definitely felt nice, plus I have very little shame. 

[Ixodes]

Put everything into your carry on before you even get into line.  Have your liquids in a bag, ready to roll.  When you get up to the metal detector take off your shoes, toss your liquids in the bin and through you go.  Laptop does add time.

Pick up your stuff and walk away.  There are a thousand seats in the airport and you don't have to completely reorganize right at security.  That way you can rebuild yourself at your pace, without a press of surly travelers breathing down your back.  It's not that big of a deal to walk 50 yards in your socks.  It's better than the wall of passive aggressive stress that awaits you otherwise.

It means nothing to me since I am a precheck traveler.  You get to go to the short line with minimal f'ing around.  If you fly more than twice a year, it is seriously worth it, especially if you travel with a laptop.    

[Ordos]

OK I've read all your ways of going about it. But I have a question for all: while fumbling with your belongings, where is your passport and/or boarding pass? You cannot put them in a bag or pocket as you need to present it to get past security. Sometimes I place them on the xray top and forget them and only the officer reminds me to pick them up.

What about the fact that no matter how light you travel or efficiently you manage your stuff, your hands will always be full with your boarding pass and/or passport (domestic travel here requires me showing my national ID card) in one hand and your sagging pants (I guess the solution there is stretchy or tight pants for air travel. Don't have many of those) in the other?

[polishgenius]

I dunno whereabouts you travel, but I've never come across an airport (admittedly, I've only traveled in Europe) where the passport and boarding pass checks were at the same time as the security scan. Usually they check that on the entrance to the hall where you're queuing.

[Ordos]

16 minutes ago, polishgenius said:

I dunno whereabouts you travel, but I've never come across an airport (admittedly, I've only traveled in Europe) where the passport and boarding pass checks were at the same time as the security scan. Usually they check that on the entrance to the hall where you're queuing.

 

The whole trip through the airport goes thus from my experience for international travel: You enter the airport and go to the check in desk where you drop off your cargo luggage (In Indonesia there is a security check as you enter the building), present your tickets/reservation both on paper or electronically as well as ID or passport. The clerk will will print the boarding pass and give it to you. You go the the passport control desk. Then you are in the main hall where there are shops and restaurants just like before the check in desk. Here you wait and prepare for security check. Then you are called to the departure gate. Here you go through security. Security will ask for your passport and boarding pass. They will tear or scan the boardring pass. Sometimes it's before the xray and metal detector and sometimes after. Then you sit in a smaller waiting room before the plane is ready for boarding.

[polishgenius]

See, that sounds odd. In Europe the security scan is, afaik, always at the bit after check-in, to get into that main hall thing. They check your boarding pass as you go in to queue for the scan - sometimes the passport check is then too I think? and sometimes/often it's at individual gates (so that people flying domestically or in Schengen don't need to show them, I guess), but I've never come across the security scan at each individual gate- because that'd surely take crazy space and manpower- and the document check is never at the same time as the scan, so there's plenty of time to pocket and unpocket the necessary documents.

[HexMachina]

What Ordos describes is different to my experience. I've always had it as check in - security - departure lounge - boarding gate. I thought that was the standard layout and it makes a lot more sense (because you can then buy liquids and stuff in departure/duty free to take on the plane). And security they usually just give a cursory glance at the boarding pass

[Ordos]

51 minutes ago, HelenaExMachina said:

What Ordos describes is different to my experience. I've always had it as check in - security - departure lounge - boarding gate. I thought that was the standard layout and it makes a lot more sense (because you can then buy liquids and stuff in departure/duty free to take on the plane). And security they usually just give a cursory glance at the boarding pass

Just curious. In the case of international travel, in your experience does passport control come between check in and security or between security and the departure lounge?

[Isis]

My passport with my boarding pass inside it is either in my hand or in my back pocket when I go through security. Because I'm keeping it with me.

[Filippa Eilhart]

here's an idea: why don't you buy trousers that don't fall off?

In the airports where you have to present them at security I always put my passport and boarding card in the plastic trays. But I haven't had to in a while. Even the low cost airports usually have a separate boarding card check first these days.

[The Killer Snark]

I can compose myself very quickly. I only ever got stopped for closer inspection twice, once because I have a PA, and it triggered the detector (but they didn't strip search me) and once because my luggage had a label on it in Arabic, because I'd borrowed the case off a cousin, who's half-Arabic, and lives in Jordan.

[baxus]

1 hour ago, The Killer Snark said:

I can compose myself very quickly. I only ever got stopped for closer inspection twice, once because I have a PA, and it triggered the detector (but they didn't strip search me) and once because my luggage had a label on it in Arabic, because I'd borrowed the case off a cousin, who's half-Arabic, and lives in Jordan.

Now that's a great reason for closer inspection. Not!