Dating: “I have this disease late at night sometimes, involving alcohol and the telephone.”

[Arch-MaesterPhilip]

7 minutes ago, The Mance said:

But thats just it, they really haven't been seeing each other.  They've been doing a whole lot of not seeing each other, really.  But as a whole their relationship seems to be developing into something more than just friends, or acquaintances.  So, in the interests of succinctness, and to uncomplicated a conversation with a third party who may or may not warrant a detailed breakdown of the exact nature of the relationship, she used a common shorthand that more or less approximates whatever it is that actually defines her relationship with RBPL.  Seems totally harmless.  

Well he's the only person who needs to be comfortable with that. If he is that's fine. I can only speak for myself in regards to how I would feel. My preference would simply be friend and let the third party draw their own conclusion. 

[Aniel]

On 9/11/2016 at 10:57 AM, Roose Boltons Pet Leech said:

OK, I'm in one of those odd situations where it shouldn't really matter, but I figured I ask, since my innate habit of analysing everything has kicked in...

Basically, I've been chatting daily with three-hours-away girl for the past month, I've driven out there once, and spent a day with her (really enjoyed her company). We also slept together. Anyway, today she alluded to me as being her boyfriend, and I'm unsure how to approach it - is what I've just described enough to constitute a relationship? I like her well enough, but I'm uncertain if we've really spent enough time together to start using those terms, and the distance would complicate things anyway. Right now, I'd be inclined to classify it as a "it's complicated".

Remove "spent a day together and slept together" from that, add about 4270 miles to the distance and you've got the situation my SO and I were in pretty much the day we decided to start calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend. What prompted the talk where we established that fact was his mom asking if I was his girlfriend and he said yes. So I would hardly call it too soon to at least have a conversation about it, but then my family has a history of quickly establishing relationships...

I also wouldn't worry about the distance, while I'm sure shorter long distance relationships come with cons relationships like mine don't have and vice versa, I also don't think the distance complicates things a whole lot other than the issue of missing each other and having to explain to friends and relatives why the other person can't be at this and that family gathering. The success of such a relationship probably depends on the people involved (don't all relationships?), the distance has probably taken more a of a "toll" on my very social and worrying SO than on myself as I'm quite comfortable with solitude and don't really worry about things I can't affect.

But to directly answer the bolded, yes, I think it is.

[sologdin]

roose, though we know that objective material conditions determine consciousness, relationship status is contractual and therefore a matter of manifestation of mutual assent thereto--i.e., status is a product of consciousness and accordingly its relation to the material conditions aforesaid is somewhat attenuated.  do you by contrast think that the objective material conditions that you've described interfere with your mutual subjective intentions?  the other party to this purported agreement has offered the status; what relevance the conditions to your acceptance or declination thereof?

[Weeping Sore]

Nothing spices up your love life like dialectical materialism. "What romance produces above all else is its own gravedigger..."

[sologdin]

one might be surprised how often hegelomarxist considerations come up, for my part--there is a dread portion of conservative rationality, for instance, that watches the other and greater fraction fall head over heels, realizing the risk, disagreeing even while coming along for the ride and becoming a direct beneficiary thereof: rationality strengthened by the greater fraction's discharge of its aesthetic demands. sufficient benefits inured thereto, rationality suffuses quantitatively the mad portion, transforming it qualitatively and resolving the contradiction when head-over-heels becomes the conservative fraction, when rationality itself seeks to preserve at all costs mad-for-you-cannot-be-apart-i-am-dying-here.

that said, i find that kantian questions may be more salient.  

[Lily Valley]

Dinner and a CD release party tonight with fanboy.  I hope I have time for some GROOMING after work.

[Lily Valley]

Minimal grooming happened.  We tried and failed to find a fun show to go to last night.  DAMN YOU NEW ORLEANS!  Wound up talking about Comic Books and he remarked that my early fascination with ElfQuest explained my fashion sense.  I'm pretty sure that was not a compliment.   

Somehow started arguing about legalizing prostitution and the commodification of women.  I warned him that I could argue with him about that for LITERALLY TEN YEARS.   @Lyanna, if you see this, his opinion is somewhere between yours and mine with an odd patrician concern it would drive prices down.  We had to table the conversation because it was after midnight.  It was a fun argument because we were both listening.   I had a good time.

Smash the patriarchy.

[HexMachina]

Date with the ex-who-isn't-an-ex went well. We spent the day together, had a nice walk through London, did coffee, lunch, and had a couple of drinks. Not awkward at all, which I was pleased about. We are seeing each other again tomorrow

[Buckwheat]

17 minutes ago, HelenaExMachina said:

Date with the ex-who-isn't-an-ex went well. We spent the day together, had a nice walk through London, did coffee, lunch, and had a couple of drinks. Not awkward at all, which I was pleased about. We are seeing each other again tomorrow

Good to hear, good luck tomorrow.

[Datepalm]

Theoretical Physicist guy who I've been lacklusterly texting with for a month but still haven't met? Bailed on making plans because he had to go get an MRI. Cute, funny, smart-but-not-overly-academic guy studying for the GMAT in the same cafe where I study for the GRE? Ten minutes of actual conversation to get to friendzone. Quirky, funny, aimless architecture graduate guy I saw Ghostbusters (meh, original was better) with? Off to wander the Himalayas and never heard from again. 

Summary of two months in India. 

 

 

[Theda Baratheon]

Haha nothing at all came of me and that guy. I'm hopeless. At least next time I come across a cute nice person I'm attracted to who seems like they might be attracted to me too I'm not gonna be as hesitant/stupidly self loathing 

[Arch-MaesterPhilip]

1 hour ago, Theda Baratheon said:

Haha nothing at all came of me and that guy. I'm hopeless. At least next time I come across a cute nice person I'm attracted to who seems like they might be attracted to me too I'm not gonna be as hesitant/stupidly self loathing 

I'm the king of self loathing and it is stupid. At least this has shown you that people find you attractive and that you can do it. I see relationships even brief ones as a learning experience.  

[Buckwheat]

Distance is annoying. In the last week or so, our communication reads almost like we are both just counting down days till I move up north. Well ... at least I know somebody is looking forward to see me? Twomoreweekstwomoreweekstwomoreweeks (a bit less even) ...

[Larry of the Lawn]

13 hours ago, Buckwheat said:

Distance is annoying. In the last week or so, our communication reads almost like we are both just counting down days till I move up north. Well ... at least I know somebody is looking forward to see me? Twomoreweekstwomoreweekstwomoreweeks (a bit less even) ...

Have a wonderful time!  I remember similar communication when I was in a long distance relationship.  

 

Ms. Larry and I split up today after a week and a half detente.  It was pretty amicable and a relief for both of us, although it is slightly complicated because as of now, we will still be housemates for the next six months, mostly because we are still friends, not jealous, and the place is fucking rad.

Just glad the anxiety of wondering if we could work shit out is over, just two very different people who live each other but are completely incompatible.

She always congratulates friends when they break up a relationship, so I bought her a bottle of champagne with a "Congratulations" card, hopefully it was received with the same good humor it was given.

[Starkess]

Sorry to hear that Larry :(, but at least it sounds like you guys are making the best of a generally shitty situation.

[Arkhangel]

Yeah, sorry to hear that, although it sounds like in a way it's also kind of a positive step for both of you? My grandma and step-grandfather split up but carried on living in the same house together for over a decade, because they were still very close friends and both wanted to be there to raise the kids. I know you're probably not keen on a decade, but just to say that exes living together can work

[Liffguard]

Ugh. I woke up to a text from the ex today, wanting to meet up for coffee and talk things over. I felt terrible and guilty for turning her down but I really just need a clean break right now. I was starting to feel pretty okay about things and this has thrown me back into an extremely bad mood. Fucks sake.

[Larry of the Lawn]

14 hours ago, Arkhangel said:

Yeah, sorry to hear that, although it sounds like in a way it's also kind of a positive step for both of you? My grandma and step-grandfather split up but carried on living in the same house together for over a decade, because they were still very close friends and both wanted to be there to raise the kids. I know you're probably not keen on a decade, but just to say that exes living together can work

Thanks, yeah, it's really been surprisingly easy so far.  No drama, we both have pretty separate lives anyway.

 

Liff, hang in there man.  Do something that lets you focus your mind elsewhere; some exercise, meet up with a couple of friends, or just binge on TV or movies or books.  Sucks to have that brought back up when you're moving on.

[Liffguard]

Thanks. I'm going hashing tomorrow morning. I've only just started it as a hobby but it's never failed to cheer me up yet.

[Larry of the Lawn]

1 hour ago, Liffguard said:

Thanks. I'm going hashing tomorrow morning. I've only just started it as a hobby but it's never failed to cheer me up yet.

Had to lookup hashing (for some reason I doubted my initial inclination that you were ripping bongs all day as a hobby).  That sounds like a blast, going to see if there are any hash harrier clubs around here.  Enjoy!