Dating: “I have this disease late at night sometimes, involving alcohol and the telephone.”

[Arch-MaesterPhilip]

On 8/25/2016 at 7:10 AM, Theda Baratheon said:

Thanks friend :-) I actually dont feel that bad? Im noticing loads of cute people lately, I like where I am in my life, I like what im doing and who knows, with a teeny tiny bit more confidence in myself I might just go and ask one of them out myself :-) 

Walking around with a little steam in your stride is always a good thing. You've probably got more than a teeny bit more confidence in yourself.  

[Kelli Fury]

20 hours ago, Tywin et al. said:

I'm going all in with Kay Fury's name change being the root cause of the board's crash! 

I do what I can

[Theda Baratheon]

3 hours ago, Arch-MaesterPhilip said:

Walking around with a little steam in your stride is always a good thing. You've probably got more than a teeny bit more confidence in yourself.  

maybe. he keeps randomly messaging me now though, im so confused. i think he's acting like a fuckboy tho so he probably is one

[Kelli Fury]

Yeah this guy seems like he's got you on the back burner. You're a first choice girl, not backup. This dumbass needs to be redistributed

[Theda Baratheon]

10 minutes ago, Kelli Fury said:

Yeah this guy seems like he's got you on the back burner. You're a first choice girl, not backup. This dumbass needs to be redistributed

yeah, i think so. 

which is why i get a little bit of twisted joy from like, refusing to go out a few times when he's asked (when he's obviously drunk, lonely and bored, not on like..an actual date which would be nice) 

[Arch-MaesterPhilip]

42 minutes ago, Theda Baratheon said:

maybe. he keeps randomly messaging me now though, im so confused. i think he's acting like a fuckboy tho so he probably is one

You're an adult so I can't or won't tell you what to do but I agree the others. You deserve better than being a second choice. 

[Guy Kilmore]

On 8/16/2016 at 6:20 AM, Arkhangel said:

Good for you! I think one of the most true and useful (if also hard to swallow) pieces of advice I've ever been given about dating guys is that if they are into you, you will know. I think often for women in particular we have this tendency to spend ages over-analysing every little thing, does this mean he likes me, does this mean he doesn't - but if you're having to do that, the answer is probably 'he doesn't'. The truth is in most cases most men are not subtle when they're really into someone. So hey, if this dude is giving you mixed signals and you've already got an awesome confidence boost out of it, cut him loose. Who needs someone who doesn't treat you well?

I also want to echo support in this statement that this is generally true.  Small exceptions.  I work in an office which just happens to trend towards young women at the moment.  I hear their conversations sometimes and there are moments where, I really want to tell them where it is going, because I already know.

I know others said there are exceptions and sperry hit it, but I just wanted to add a little.  If there are conflicting objectives that can bring up mixed signals.  (The being friends before hand, for instance, do you want to mess with the friendship or pursue the relationship, but once that decision is made, the answer should be pretty clear.)

[Aniel]

We finally got our decision from the migration agency  When we first started looking into wait times for this it said 4-6 months. When we applied it was around 9 months. Right now it's at 14-15 months. Somehow we only had to wait 13, which is shocking.

Storytime!
My dog Katie had been sick for a couple of days so we had to take her to vet three days ago and she had to stay there to get fluids and further examinations. Anyway, today we went to pick her up. In the car my phone was in my bag and I actually thought "What if I get a call and miss it?" and lo and behold, I had a missed call when we got out. I looked up the number but could only find that it had something to do with operators of companies and such. Katie was brought out to us, we went over medication and stuff and then we went back to the reception area to buy some special food since her issues were gastrointestinal. Just as we're going inside my phone starts ringing. I pick it up, holding Katies leash in one hand and I am greeted like this:
"Hello, I am [Case Manager] with Migrationsverket in Uppsala. Is your relationship with [SO] still active?"
"Um, what? Yes." Dad has located the food section and is now talking to an associate so I move away, literally just following wherever Katie leads me on her quest to examine all the treats and toys in the shop.
"Okay, I am just about to make the decision for your case. Would you like to have the residence permit card sent to the Swedish embassy in Washington D.C. or would you like to pick it up in Sweden?" This is the part where the tears of joy start falling.
More conversation like which one of their offices I want to pick the card up at, and I actually ask "So he gets to come live here?" and then we hang up and I return to dad who's now at the register and say "[SO] gets to come here!"

And then I have to call my SO about it, after one unsuccessful call I manage to get a message out literally just saying "[SO] we're getting the email in a week" which he responds to just a minute later with "A week" and so I call him and explain that I just got a call and I'm all smiling and shit and he's just like "... are you serious? Is this a joke? You are serious, right?" and uh yeah... I convinced him it wasn't. When I got home from the vet I saw I had a ton of messages from him where he's freaking out because he got an email from the place but it didn't say anything on if the decision was a yes or no, so I checked mine and I had gotten one that said that he can come here (he gave me power of attorney because he lost access to the email-address he used on the application). And now we're sitting here planning/trying to plan the move. We found really cheap tickets for September  Which would be great because his birthday is in October and we've never gotten to celebrate it together...

[Starkess]

That's awesome, Aniel. Congrats to both of you! Enjoy it!

[Buckwheat]

Good news. Distance can be horrible.

[Liffguard]

Well fuck. We broke up today. I'm going to go consume three packs of bacon and half a bottle of scotch.

Just....fuck.

[Larry of the Lawn]

9 minutes ago, Liffguard said:

Well fuck. We broke up today. I'm going to go consume three packs of bacon and half a bottle of scotch.

Just....fuck.

Hang in there, man, enjoy the bacon and scotch now, and then keep your mind and body busy over the next few days.  Break ups can suck but the worst of it is the initial part.  

[Arch-MaesterPhilip]

13 hours ago, Liffguard said:

Well fuck. We broke up today. I'm going to go consume three packs of bacon and half a bottle of scotch.

Just....fuck.

Sorry to hear it, we've all been there. I do the exact opposite and I lose weight. After my last relationship tanked I tried liquor but I was still sad when I sobered up. 

Best wishes going forward.  If you need someone to listen I'm only a DM away. 

[Liffguard]

What's most fucked up is that I was the one who initiated the break-up, and it's still hit me ridiculously fucking hard. I almost made the classic mistake of calling her up and tearfully begging forgiveness and trying to get back together, which would have been the single most arse-hole thing I could have done. She deserves better than to be jerked around because of my sense of guilt, and insecurity, and loneliness, and fear of change. Long-term, this is for the best, but jesus christ it still fucking stings. I know going out keeping active is the best advice right now but I'm a complete wreck and really not up to much more than drinking endless cups of tea and playing Life Must Go On on repeat.

[Arch-MaesterPhilip]

I've been in almost that same exact situation.  And you're right, it did sting. I took up bowling and it was a good way to help me move forward but finding my way into it took awhile.  

[Liffguard]

Thanks for the kind words.

I've also decided that binge-watching Parks & Rec is a healthy coping mechanism.

[Arch-MaesterPhilip]

I would order Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy every two days on pay-per-view. It was a two day rental so I was essentially watching it nonstop for weeks. It was really helpful.  

Anytime, kind words are important towards the healing process.  Especially if someone is or has gone through something similar.  

[Xray the Enforcer]

6 hours ago, Liffguard said:

Thanks for the kind words.

I've also decided that binge-watching Parks & Rec is a healthy coping mechanism.

 Breakups suck. Binge-watching TV is a good plan. 

[Lily Valley]

I am so sorry.  Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell is out on Netflix.   Hang in there.

I had two dates this weekend.  One with a pal who isn't too bright and another with the SevenEves fanboy.   Fanboy read the Three Body Problem and is plowing through The Dark Forest.  Will definitely see again.

[Arch-MaesterPhilip]

13 minutes ago, Lily Valley said:

I am so sorry.  Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell is out on Netflix.   Hang in there.

I had two dates this weekend.  One with a pal who isn't too bright and another with the SevenEves fanboy.   Fanboy read the Three Body Problem and is plowing through The Dark Forest.  Will definitely see again.

I've got to find a reader.