zelticgar Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 Posting this on Monday and no updates? Lame! Here is my advice: Forget DNA testing. That's just stupid and it will make you look like a lunatic because no one that is normal is going to run out to a lab to try to get DNA testing on their co-workers spit. If you start talking about that at work no one is going to take you seriously. If you want to take care of business you need to scare HR to get things done. If you describe the incident to HR like you wrote it in the OP you are going to go no where. I'd let HR know in your report that you were assaulted, fearful for your safety and unable to perform your duties until they remedy the hostile work environment. I'd hit the doctors office as well and let HR know you are in treatment. Tell them you went to the doctor to get treated for severe anxiety due to the trauma of this incident. I underlined and bolded all the scary words. Put shit in writing - documentation scares HR. That place sounds like a shit show. Once the dust settled and you are done scorching earth I would GTFO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lordsteve666 Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 If your employer has any sense and don't want to get landed with a huge headache of an employment tribunal or worse still, a police investigation then they will deal with this, provided you approach it in the correct way. Try it the gentle approach first to see if your employer just rolls over for you. Write everything down as clearly as you can remember it. Don't go into speculation or purely subjective ramblings, get down the hard facts (time, date, location, witness names, specifics of the conversation) and note down exactly what happened in order. If this is linked to any previous disputes with the employee then maybe include details of those too, but be wary that if you've failed to report previous serious incidents it could work against you. You have a right (i assume in your country) to a safe working environment and this would be classed as an assault in most cases, or at the least gross misconduct towards a colleague. Any company with sense would deal with this fast. If you cannot get anywhere with them then you may need to go elsewhere for assistance, raise a formal grievance against the company and the employee. Have you got a union that can help you out with this? Or any sort of local/national service for advice on such maters (e.g. in the UK we have the Citizen's Advice Bureau). This would be the stage when you'd start to throw around the things that @zelticgar suggested. I think going straight for some sort of legal action involving DNA makes you out to be pushing it a bit hard, and if there's talk of compensation it just look like you a money grabber and not really concerned about the real issue here which is the behaviour you were subjected to and how to stop it happening again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
all swedes are racist Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 dna test? Are you mad? Do you know how much juju mischief you can cause with an enemies saliva?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercenaryChef Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 8 hours ago, R'hllors Red Lobster said: dna test? Are you mad? Do you know how much juju mischief you can cause with an enemies saliva?! fuck that. clone the bastard and have his clone spit in his face! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
all swedes are racist Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 14 minutes ago, MercifulChief said: fuck that. clone the bastard and have his clone spit in his face! careful though, that can lead to a whole new set of problems Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elder Sister Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 I have really missed you, board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BloodRider Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 15 hours ago, Mandy said: I think I trust the lawyers I've met here more than the ones I've met otherwise. I work in law... I can't believe we still don't know what happened here. I demand an update!!! Here you go! I know - that's a bad update, but you have to agree, that date sure went up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zelticgar Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 16 hours ago, Mandy said: I think I trust the lawyers I've met here more than the ones I've met otherwise. I work in law... I can't believe we still don't know what happened here. I demand an update!!! Agreed. I'm calling bullshit on the entire story unless we receive an update. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IheartIheartTesla Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 By this point, all the saliva DNA has probably been irreversibly cross contaminated with lizard and cat DNA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
all swedes are racist Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 3 hours ago, IheartIheartTesla said: By this point, all the saliva DNA has probably been irreversibly cross contaminated with lizard and cat DNA. So... don't put those glasses in the teleported is what you are saying? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry of the Lawn Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 Any of the board lawyers have any thoughts on whether or not the OP should also bring HR a stool sample? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Pepper Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 3 minutes ago, larrytheimp said: Any of the board lawyers have any thoughts on whether or not the OP should also bring HR a stool sample? I think Nestor already covered that: On 6/15/2016 at 6:31 PM, NestorMakhnosLovechild said: Getting a testable DNA sample should be pretty easy, if you're really dedicated to doing it. You might try following the guy into the bathroom and seeing if you can capture a fecal sample. You might be able to find some cells from the inner lining of the rectum or, better yet, some blood if they have a particularly difficult stool. Alternatively, you can attempt to surreptitiously pleasure them to climax and then catch a DNA sample in a petri dish or, if they are small enough, a test tube. If you're not willing to consider these alternatives, I really have to question your fidelity to this story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
all swedes are racist Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 3 hours ago, Dr. Pepper said: I think Nestor already covered that: Yeah, just to clarify, it should be the other guys 'sample'. Trust me, HR gets really annoyed when you keep bringing them your own :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PetyrPunkinhead Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 On 6/21/2016 at 10:03 AM, Mandy said: I can't believe I put on headphones for THAT. This thread makes me sad. Such potential... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elder Sister Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 Spitting means never having to say you're sorry. Also, I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, DAMMIT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sologdin Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 all depends on the jurisdiction, too. down my way, it'd be a misdemeanor battery in most circumstances. but we can conceive of places wherein it the law considers the expelled saliva to be a gratuity for which compensation may be due. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BloodRider Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 1 hour ago, Elder Sister said: Spitting means never having to say you're sorry. Also, I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, DAMMIT. Harrenys Targaryen is not your bitch. Right now they are dealing with the HRenese knot. The conclusion will be out when they fictionalize it, and not a day sooner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IheartIheartTesla Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 Oh boy....I cant wait for the excrutiatingly detailed descriptions of various lunch meats at the cafeteria, long quests to find a stapler in the stockroom that eventually end nowhere, tedious negotiations between minor bureaucrats and the one-handed head of accounting and introduction of new witnesses in the co-worker saga that seemingly appear out of nowhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sagewich Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Why bother with HR? What satisfaction are ;you going to get -- the best the spitter gets fired - or the spitter goes to counseling and apologizes. As a retired prosecutor, take your glasses and make a police report. The longer you wait, your credibility is eroded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mance Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 4 hours ago, sagewich said: As a retired prosecutor, take your glasses and make a police report. The longer you wait, your credibility is eroded. I'm wondering if OP already took this to a lawyer, and their first bit of advice was "stop making frivilous posts about the incident all over teh interwebs, you idiot". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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