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Outrageous Lies bout TP above, Ver. 24 (I like it better than 23)


Raisin' Bran

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Baseborn Manjack wanted to put the Cordia flower on his nations currency by d, but he was arrested and thrown into prison. In hindsight, bringing the proposal to the government would likely have been the more peaceful option rather than taking the money where he could (banks mostly) and forcibly redistributing them (counterfeiting).

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Minstral went on a long journey in search of the Elixir of Immortality, before suddenly deciding rather randomly that this Elixir was contained in tomato ketchup. Ever since then, he's been buying up ketchup and ingesting it every waking moment. Revolting; but who knows? It might work.

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Baltan misdirected the Count out of shear spite and self-interest.

She told him that "Ketchup" is referred to as "Catsup" and that he should be careful when purchasing stocks.  So the Count heeded her advice and bought stocks in Catsup.

CatsupTM is Baltan’s own venture.  It’s an energy drink for kittens, containing catnip and caffeine, with tuna brine for an added flavor kick.  It comes in flavors like Paw-berry, Paw-magranite, Paw-nana, and Milk.  It makes kittens playful and has resulted in a number of popular youtube videos of kittens doing silly things.

It’s mostly safe, but it does have one unfortunate side affect… it stunts growth.  Kittens will stay kittens forever.

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The truth is that Destiel has been running a campaign of disinformation on the ketchup business so that she may try to profit from the fact that I am already immortal. I just like ketchup, and I shall never tell.

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The truth is that Minstral has been eating Catsup since it hit the market. That's how he acquired inmortality, although he still has issues explaining his family about his obsession with boxes and bags, let alone the sudden frenzy when a can of tuna is opened.

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I dunno why the Count here is whinging...

He bought so many stocks of CatsupTM that he profits not only from the unexpected outcome of people loving their kittens to stay kittens (the stock went through the flippin' roof), he also profits from all derivative products and services.  

Count Balerion has become so wealthy that he lives on a private island with every luxury at hand.  To explore the world, he downloads his consciousness into other bodies for as long as suits his fancy.  He can be a movie star one day (who do you think is responsible for the Brangelina split?) and a navy seal the next day.  He's currently inhabiting the body of a call centre worker in Mumbai, named Steve.  

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Count Balerion loves Froot Loops, but has a deep seated distrust of the green ones.  This is possibly due to their vague resemblance to vegetables.

He spends hours weeding the green loops out of every box.  Umm, not just his, but all boxes he can find.  He is no longer welcome at Walmart.

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