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The Drunk Thread: Just Look at the Flowers


A True Kaniggit

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  • 2 weeks later...

Tonight I've popped open some Buffalo Trace.  Anytime I open up the pricey stuff (by my standards), I wake up tomorrow and feel like I've wasted it.  Fuckit, I'm 2 sheets in and about to hang the 3rd.  West into the wind my friends!  Meet me on the far horizon! 

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2 hours ago, Ded As Ned said:

Tonight I've popped open some Buffalo Trace.  Anytime I open up the pricey stuff (by my standards), I wake up tomorrow and feel like I've wasted it.  Fuckit, I'm 2 sheets in and about to hang the 3rd.  West into the wind my friends!  Meet me on the far horizon! 

Go with the whiskey gods, my friend.

I am trying to kill my illness with gin and beer. I will report tomorrow if it worked.

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  • 4 weeks later...

WHY DOESN'T ARBY'S DELIVER!!!

Damn you James Earl Jones and your Arby's commercials! 

I haven't had a good roast beef sandwich in like 5 years, because apparently my children did not inherit my love of all things meat. Well, one of them did but I haven't introduced him to roast beef sandwiches yet.   Now I'm here, with the kids at Granny's house, and too buzzed to be out driving to Arby's.  I seriously miscalculated in what order to do things here.

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OMG. Seriously, y'all.  I had a whole lab full of fools nearly pulling out their peens for a size contest today and broke up a conversation that threatened violence.  At school, in a lab.  On my watch.  #epicteachingfail.  I just can't even.  

So I am DRUNK.  Tomorrow I will supervise angry students teaching 5th graders....something.

FUCK THIS SEMESTER. :cheers:

Also, the chicken place by me ALSO does not deliver.  I smell Satan.

 

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On 1/29/2017 at 4:28 AM, Ded As Ned said:

Too many Red Stripes.  Liquor drinkers often think they can drink beers like water, because of the discrepancy in proof.  They are often wrong. 

I like beer, but I cannot drink more than 2-3 without feeling sleepy and start wishing my bed. It is even worse with champagne and cider. It must be the freaking bubbles.

 

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On 4/7/2017 at 0:48 AM, Lily Valley said:

I have docked the FUCK out of them for "unprofessional backbitiing"

My curve is a BITCH.  You want an 'A"?  Do not miss one single class.  Not one.  Not for this lab.

Shit. I'm almost 100% sure I've never made even one of your classes. First F ever. Extra credit maybe? I'm really good at making bad puns if that helps my case any.

Edit: Booyah! I think I just found the loophole in your post. You said no one can get an "A" in your class if they miss one single class. Having never been to a class, I've missed more than one. Now where the hell is my "A"? I couldn't beer to get anything less.

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On 4/7/2017 at 0:38 AM, r'hllor's red lobster said:

hope you grade on a curve * ducks mutliple bottlesand rotten vegetables  thrown at my head*

People are throwing bottle sand at you? That's horrible! Not only would the bottle hitting hurt, but there's also a chance you could get sand in your eye. Not to mention the mess. 

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My first Manhattan didn't do shit.  I'm a large semi muscular male.  But the second one has got me rather buzzed.  I figure it was about 4oz of Crown, 1oz of vermouth, three cherries for a little extra sweet, and a Woodford Reserve branded cherry bitters for each of them.  Didn't want to use up the rest of the Whistle Pig on a mixed drink.

Might be time for a Caucasian.  I didn't capitalize that, the autocorrect did. BTW.

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