A True Kaniggit

The Drunk Thread Got A Contact High

237 posts in this topic

Because the last drunk thread was archived after 21 days. (How does  that work anyways? I'm curious.)

My whisky is almost gone. I know it'll probably be too late by the time anyone gets this message, but should I take two big shots, or three small shots? The time has come to make the decision, and I just know I'm about to make the wrong decision for the wrong reasons.

And remember to plan ahead. Don't drink and drive. Not only do you endanger yourself, but you put other people at risk too. 

Edited by A True Kaniggit

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By scrubbing my face with the incredible power of sweat and a patch of cheap toilet tissue I found the following:

Five broken SMOKES!

Four mosquitoes

Three sweaters

Two neighbors

And mail that wasn't for MEEEEEE!

(get this shit out of here)

---(oh baby you might need it someday!)

(What, like that dress I saw somebody wearing last week?)

-----(baby you too cheap to keep)

(She looked good in it, so what?)

-----(So, nothing.  You could have HAVE a new dress tomorrow)

(NONONONONONO!)

----(You're hot, you have no clothes for this weather)

:throws out shit for another hour before I listen:

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Dang scorpion stung my thumb for no reason whatsoever. I'm usually a nice guy and put things like that outside when I find them in the house, but i don't think I was wrong in stomping this bastard into the carpet repeatedly. How the hell did it get on my neck anyways?

Edit: Because words were wrong. 

Edited by A True Kaniggit

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On 25.06.2016 at 10:00 AM, A True Kaniggit said:

Because the last drunk thread was archived after 21 days. (How does  that work anyways? I'm curious.)

My whisky is almost gone. I know it'll probably be too late by the time anyone gets this message, but should I take two big shots, or three small shots? The time has come to make the decision, and I just know I'm about to make the wrong decision for the wrong reasons.

And remember to plan ahead. Don't drink and drive. Not only do you endanger yourself, but you put other people at risk too. 

when you're drunk, you'd better be alone, alone just with yourself, and not to leave the house

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IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT WITH NO KIDS!  WHO'S WITH ME!

I'm really glad there's a thread dedicated to this.  Don't have to go back tomorrow and delete a bunch of posts.

Edited by Ded As Ned

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On 7/29/2016 at 6:20 PM, Ded As Ned said:

IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT WITH NO KIDS!  WHO'S WITH ME!

I'm really glad there's a thread dedicated to this.  Don't have to go back tomorrow and delete a bunch of posts.

YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DELETE THEM.  It is a time honored tradition that your idiocy be engraved on the board as a permanent reminder of your foolishness (recalls a certain feminist thread derail with continued facepalms).

I will be joining you later.

X-ray, have a sprite and a greasy pile of eggs, a nap and a pair of cats.

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4 hours ago, Xray the Enforcer said:

Hangovers are no bueno.

Sì, claro.

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Lord Hobo boomsauce will be my prize!  My proof!

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I have stumbled onto the trackless steppe of the Sierra Nevadas, and lost way my home.

Edit: Bury me in kyudea

Edited by R'hllors Red Lobster

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i failed...or did i succeed? 

yesterday i went to a dc united game where we tailgated for three+ hours before heading into the stadium and i failed to get drunk....or i succeeded in not. the hot as balls environment and the constant sweating (sexy i know) had me drinking one bottle of water per each beer consumed. 

i woke without my voice, but otherwise unscathed.

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16 hours ago, Xray the Enforcer said:

It took me all damn day to get over the hangover.

You wouldn't have noticed if you had been ASLEEP.

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On 7/29/2016 at 6:20 PM, Ded As Ned said:

IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT WITH NO KIDS!  WHO'S WITH ME!

I'm really glad there's a thread dedicated to this.  Don't have to go back tomorrow and delete a bunch of posts.

Haha. The main reason I try to keep this thread around is I'm afraid that without it to absorb my drunk posts I'd post waaaay too much nonsense in the other threads.

And one month later I am still pissed at that scorpion. Bit of advice, never trust a scorpion, because he/she will sting you for no reason whatsoever.

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OMG

On 8/7/2016 at 1:34 AM, A True Kaniggit said:

Haha. The main reason I try to keep this thread around is I'm afraid that without it to absorb my drunk posts I'd post waaaay too much nonsense in the other threads.

And one month later I am still pissed at that scorpion. Bit of advice, never trust a scorpion, because he/she will sting you for no reason whatsoever.

I think the Mod Gods bump this one once in a while to keep us out of trouble.

I have to work at 8am tomorrow.  Another beer is a GREAT idea.  Our new Vice Chancellor decided to push for a 40 hour in office work week and a dress code.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

believe she has an education degree from DeVrie University.  She is from the MidWest and is now trying to tell New Orleanians how to get stuff done and how to dress.  It's storming outside and also very hot.  We are going to show up looking like a wet week even if we could afford dry-cleaning.  Wait, I'm not sure "dry" cleaning actually works down here.  Also, nobody needs an iron because outside is a very expensive tailor's costume steamer.  First it works for you getting out all the dryer wrinkles.  Then it is your enemy by steaming knee creases back into your pants and ass crack.

We have been showing up during this week, prep week, during "normal work hours".  This means 8-4 or 9-5 in an office that is complete chaos because it contains 7 pissed off teachers.  In the 32 hours I was "at work" this week I have completed about 7 hours of actual work.

I am going to follow my colleague's lead and show up shithoused tomorrow morning.  

****No students will be harmed by this demonstration of, "DON'T TELL ME HOW TO DO A JOB YOU'RE TOO FUCKING GOOD TO DO YOURSELF!!!"

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2 minutes ago, Lily Valley said:

 

****No students will be harmed by this demonstration of, "DON'T TELL ME HOW TO DO A JOB YOU'RE TOO FUCKING GOOD TO DO YOURSELF!!!"

You are a better woman than i. 

Also, it's too hot up here in the cradle of civilization to even wear Bermuda shorts and a very attractive and lightweight crawfish button down. What the fuck are you guys wearing that's not attempted murder?

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1)  No flip flops (my toes are ugly and I work in a lab, so this didn't hurt me)

2)  No shorts.

3)  No yoga pants

4) No leggings (see above) (This also didn't hurt me, as I don't wear exercise clothes to class)

5) Wear "Professional attire suited to your position"  I work in a physics lab without windows.  Batman boots, check.  My feet are gonna smell AWESOME!

6)  No sweating.  (Wat?  Can we get a faculty locker room in the gym?  No?  Can we get a free membership to the gym?  No?  Herm....Can we have a shower and dressing room and closet in our office?  No?  :shrugs:  WTF?)

 

Oh, I forgot:

7)  No REVEALING CLOTHING.  It's 100.  

Edit II:  Currently wearing a lightweight cotton dress.  It's perfect if I have to wear clothes, also totally soaked with the cloud living on the ground or my own sweat when I get to work.   Also, the boys are fighting to keep jeans as part of the dress code because of the lab requirements, so this is also not appropriate for work.

Edited by Lily Valley
Hahaha

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No sweating and no revealing clothing....

wait... No sweating?

no sweating?!

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3 minutes ago, R'hllors Red Lobster said:

No sweating and no revealing clothing....

wait... No sweating?

no sweating?!

We are not permitted to show up to class sweaty.

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