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Am I a coward?


Elder Sister

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My local newspaper asked me if I would be willing to tell my story about breast cancer to the paper for their inevitable "BREAST CANCER AWARENESS" issue in Oct.

I said no.  

I have some very valid reasons for not wanting to do it, including not wanting to get on the radar of a very unstable ex-husband.  I live alone; I just don't feel comfortable exposing myself in this way.  I know that people will say that I'm missing an opportunity to inspire, educate, etc., but how many people are unaware of breast cancer at this point?  

I just didn't want to do it.  I don't want to talk about it and have everyone able to dissect and comment on one of the most painful events of my life.  So I said no.  I guess I feel guilty about saying no to this.  The guy acted like there was something wrong with me that I didn't want to share my story.

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1 minute ago, Elder Sister said:

My local newspaper asked me if I would be willing to tell my story about breast cancer to the paper for their inevitable "BREAST CANCER AWARENESS" issue in Oct.

I said no.  

I have some very valid reasons for not wanting to do it, including not wanting to get on the radar of a very unstable ex-husband.  I live alone; I just don't feel comfortable exposing myself in this way.  I know that people will say that I'm missing an opportunity to inspire, educate, etc., but how many people are unaware of breast cancer at this point?  

I just didn't want to do it.  I don't want to talk about it and have everyone able to dissect and comment on one of the most painful events of my life.  So I said no.  I guess I feel guilty about saying no to this.  The guy acted like there was something wrong with me that I didn't want to share my story.

You shouldn't feel guilty about not sharing a personal story that is really none of anyone else's god damn business.  If you choose to, that is great, but that should be entirely your choice and not something you should be made to feel guilty about.   

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At this point in the pink wash any article on 'awareness' is TMZ level medical reporting. You don't owe anyone anything, and especially not anything so personal. Sure, there are some people whose coming forward to tell their story have shone a light on an illness or unknown situation and that's great. But it was a choice and if they hadn't, it would have been ok. 

Also this:

Quote

I don't want to talk about it and have everyone able to dissect and comment on one of the most painful events of my life.

Fuck that reporter for being anything other than understanding.

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Yeah, I can't help but feel skeptical of the "awareness" angle, especially this time of year, as the NFL gears up to issue pink gloves to its players for "breast cancer awareness" and reassure us that the league that actively tries to sweep player domestic violence under the rug really cares about women.

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Definitely not. Medical issues are private and nobody is under any obligation to publicise them. I mean, there's nothing wrong with publicising it if that's what someone wants to do, but it's completely understandable and okay if you're not cool with it.

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2 hours ago, Angalin said:

No, a million times no. You're phenomenally brave: it doesn't have to be on show all the time for strangers for that to be true. Love you.

I love you back!  :love:

Thanks, everyone, for the feedback. It helps.  The guy wasn't an ass, but I could tell he was totally shocked that I didn't want to do it.

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Nothing wrong with saying no. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Shortly after Henry was born, MIL asked me if I would speak to the women's group at her church about my infertility and high risk pregnancy. I said no. There's no reason for me to make my life  out to be any more dramatic than it already is.

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6 hours ago, Elder Sister said:

My local newspaper asked me if I would be willing to tell my story about breast cancer to the paper for their inevitable "BREAST CANCER AWARENESS" issue in Oct.

I said no.  

I have some very valid reasons for not wanting to do it, including not wanting to get on the radar of a very unstable ex-husband.  I live alone; I just don't feel comfortable exposing myself in this way.  I know that people will say that I'm missing an opportunity to inspire, educate, etc., but how many people are unaware of breast cancer at this point?  

I just didn't want to do it.  I don't want to talk about it and have everyone able to dissect and comment on one of the most painful events of my life.  So I said no.  I guess I feel guilty about saying no to this.  The guy acted like there was something wrong with me that I didn't want to share my story.

I think it's fair enough for you not wanting to have your story out in the public. 0.001% of cancer patients get their story told in the media, so let someone who is very comfortable and happy with telling their story and with no unstable ex who might track them down do it.

Your right to say no to a media interview is as sacred as your right to say no to sex, and none shall judge you for it. Unless you are a lying, corrupt arse of a politician who refuses to front up to answer for public insdiscretions of some sort; which is not the case here.

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