Elder Sister Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 My local newspaper asked me if I would be willing to tell my story about breast cancer to the paper for their inevitable "BREAST CANCER AWARENESS" issue in Oct. I said no. I have some very valid reasons for not wanting to do it, including not wanting to get on the radar of a very unstable ex-husband. I live alone; I just don't feel comfortable exposing myself in this way. I know that people will say that I'm missing an opportunity to inspire, educate, etc., but how many people are unaware of breast cancer at this point? I just didn't want to do it. I don't want to talk about it and have everyone able to dissect and comment on one of the most painful events of my life. So I said no. I guess I feel guilty about saying no to this. The guy acted like there was something wrong with me that I didn't want to share my story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S John Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 1 minute ago, Elder Sister said: My local newspaper asked me if I would be willing to tell my story about breast cancer to the paper for their inevitable "BREAST CANCER AWARENESS" issue in Oct. I said no. I have some very valid reasons for not wanting to do it, including not wanting to get on the radar of a very unstable ex-husband. I live alone; I just don't feel comfortable exposing myself in this way. I know that people will say that I'm missing an opportunity to inspire, educate, etc., but how many people are unaware of breast cancer at this point? I just didn't want to do it. I don't want to talk about it and have everyone able to dissect and comment on one of the most painful events of my life. So I said no. I guess I feel guilty about saying no to this. The guy acted like there was something wrong with me that I didn't want to share my story. You shouldn't feel guilty about not sharing a personal story that is really none of anyone else's god damn business. If you choose to, that is great, but that should be entirely your choice and not something you should be made to feel guilty about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manhole Eunuchsbane Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 Nah, it's personal. People should understand that. That doesn't make you a coward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
l2 0 5 5 Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 If you don't want to do it then I think you made the right choice. Sounds like you have some legit reasons to not do it, besides not being interested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnar of Skagos Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 No one has any obligation to share their experience with any sort of disease/ailment/affliction/what have you. Not wanting to is perfectly reasonable, and I hope you don't continue to feel guilty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanteGabriel Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 No. My mother survived two battles with breast cancer and she would have hung up on someone asking this of her, and she didn't have the issue with an ex to contend with. She was just very private. Fuck the person who got chippy with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kairparavel Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 At this point in the pink wash any article on 'awareness' is TMZ level medical reporting. You don't owe anyone anything, and especially not anything so personal. Sure, there are some people whose coming forward to tell their story have shone a light on an illness or unknown situation and that's great. But it was a choice and if they hadn't, it would have been ok. Also this: Quote I don't want to talk about it and have everyone able to dissect and comment on one of the most painful events of my life. Fuck that reporter for being anything other than understanding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Fury Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 Fuck that, we are all plenty aware of breast cancer. You are entitled to all the privacy you want Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanteGabriel Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 Yeah, I can't help but feel skeptical of the "awareness" angle, especially this time of year, as the NFL gears up to issue pink gloves to its players for "breast cancer awareness" and reassure us that the league that actively tries to sweep player domestic violence under the rug really cares about women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liffguard Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 Definitely not. Medical issues are private and nobody is under any obligation to publicise them. I mean, there's nothing wrong with publicising it if that's what someone wants to do, but it's completely understandable and okay if you're not cool with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris the Blade Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 No you're not a coward, that reporter is an asshole though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lany Freelove Cassandra Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 No, certainly not a coward. It would make anyone feel exposed and vulnerable, add in your other reasons, and doing it would be the questionable action Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Scot A Ellison Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 No. Not at all. Nothing wrong with wanting to keep a personal story personal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angalin Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 No, a million times no. You're phenomenally brave: it doesn't have to be on show all the time for strangers for that to be true. Love you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elder Sister Posted September 23, 2016 Author Share Posted September 23, 2016 2 hours ago, Angalin said: No, a million times no. You're phenomenally brave: it doesn't have to be on show all the time for strangers for that to be true. Love you. I love you back! Thanks, everyone, for the feedback. It helps. The guy wasn't an ass, but I could tell he was totally shocked that I didn't want to do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanteGabriel Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 7 minutes ago, Elder Sister said: The guy wasn't an ass, but I could tell he was totally shocked that I didn't want to do it. Probably one of those damn over-sharing Millennials. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitestripe Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 Nothing wrong with saying no. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Shortly after Henry was born, MIL asked me if I would speak to the women's group at her church about my infertility and high risk pregnancy. I said no. There's no reason for me to make my life out to be any more dramatic than it already is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 4 hours ago, kairparavel said: Fuck that reporter for being anything other than understanding. I second this as my professional opinion as a journalist in good standing. what an asshat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch-MaesterPhilip Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 It is nobody's business but your own and that is it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Anti-Targ Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 6 hours ago, Elder Sister said: My local newspaper asked me if I would be willing to tell my story about breast cancer to the paper for their inevitable "BREAST CANCER AWARENESS" issue in Oct. I said no. I have some very valid reasons for not wanting to do it, including not wanting to get on the radar of a very unstable ex-husband. I live alone; I just don't feel comfortable exposing myself in this way. I know that people will say that I'm missing an opportunity to inspire, educate, etc., but how many people are unaware of breast cancer at this point? I just didn't want to do it. I don't want to talk about it and have everyone able to dissect and comment on one of the most painful events of my life. So I said no. I guess I feel guilty about saying no to this. The guy acted like there was something wrong with me that I didn't want to share my story. I think it's fair enough for you not wanting to have your story out in the public. 0.001% of cancer patients get their story told in the media, so let someone who is very comfortable and happy with telling their story and with no unstable ex who might track them down do it. Your right to say no to a media interview is as sacred as your right to say no to sex, and none shall judge you for it. Unless you are a lying, corrupt arse of a politician who refuses to front up to answer for public insdiscretions of some sort; which is not the case here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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