NFL2016 Week 5: Somebody Needs A Bigger Locker

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

Torrey Smith. Not dead to me. 

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

9 hours ago, Rhom said:

News is out that Roethleshoweveryouspellhisdamnname has a torn meniscus and will have surgery tomorrow.  No word on how long he's out, but for sure won't play against the Pats next week.

Oh for the love of god. Now 6 of my top 7 picks are out. Can someone wrap A.J. Green in bubble wrap? 

[dbunting]

Well I have to say I am now impressed with Dallas. Going into GB and winning convincingly is not something that happens very often.

Prescott - has to stay the starter. He is getting better as he goes and now has a bye week to keep improving before facing the eagglets. I am glad that whole interception thing is over, got annoying pretty quick.

Elliot - I wish that Dallas hadn't used him during that last drive. No sense having him carry it 6 or 8 extra times to run the clock out knowing GB is gearing up because they know every play will be a run. Let Morris take those carries in garbage time and save Elliot for later in the season.

Defense - ehh, ok game. There were times when Rodgers had so much time to pass that I swear my beard grew longer.

[Jaime L]

So is it Sperry or Tywin who now works at FoxSports? 

 

[Joe Pesci]

1 hour ago, Jaime L said:

So is it Sperry or Tywin who now works at FoxSports? 

 

This game is where the Eagles finally unveil the final act of their master plan to ruin Sam Bradfords career. Trading him away to the Vikes was merely act two...

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

2 hours ago, Jaime L said:

So is it Sperry or Tywin who now works at FoxSports? 

 

It's a shame they didn't use a sleeveless photo. 

[Mexal]

For the record, the Bengals aren't a very good team at the moment. Just making sure that was clear to everyone.

[Manhole Eunuchsbane]

2 minutes ago, Mexal said:

For the record, the Bengals aren't a very good team at the moment. Just making sure that was clear to everyone.

Yeah, that's becoming kind of apparent. What's up with that?

[Mexal]

15 minutes ago, Manhole Eunuchsbane said:

Yeah, that's becoming kind of apparent. What's up with that?

A combination of factors:

1. Bengals aren't very good in the red zone without Eifert/Jones/Sanu. Part of that is the lack of talent, the other part being poor play calling by a rookie OC (how do you throw a fade from the 1 inch line on 3rd and goal instead of a QB sneak?)
2. The OL is playing poorly. Whereas in the past, they had four good players and one weak link that they could paper over, this year they have two weak links and it's making the guards play worse as well (well Zeitler anyway). Ogbeuhi (RT) isn't as good as his draft position states and Bodine is still a massive drain at Center
3. WRs outside of Green are incapable of getting separation so Dalton is forced to hold the ball longer than he wants. The one WR who has shown separation ability is inactive on game days - similar to Marvin Jones in 2012
4. Defense hasn't played good. Front 4 can't get pressure with just 4 and the LBs are incapable of defending the middle of the field. Plus we aren't getting any turnovers
5. Refs have been pretty one sided this season. Hate to complain about this but it's been really frustrating to watch when you stop a team on 3rd and long only to have a 5 yard contact/holding penalty which is really weak negate it. This has happened a lot - not an exaggeration. Lewis likes to say we're our own achilles heals but I see stuff like this every play that aren't called, not sure why it's called on a 3rd and long specifically. Not to mention fumbles that clearly aren't fumbles being allowed or holding calls that aren't actually holding setting us back to 1st/2nd and 20 early in a drive while we hardly ever get the holding calls (Steelers had 6 very clear ones that were not called once as an example). I actually turned the game off yesterday because I was so frustrated we/refs kept giving the Patriots many extra chances after we should have ended a drive. I'm sure this will even out over the course of the season but it's been so bad early
6. Offense just isn't making big plays so are forced to drive down the field in 10+ play drives which is hard to maintain when one holding/false start throws you off schedule. Seems to happen quite a bit
7. Finally, just a tough schedule against good teams that are better than us (Pats, Steelers, Broncos, Cowboys), 3 of which were on the road

I don't know if we can turn it around. I'd like to think positively and say it's possible but given our poor ability in the red zone and our defensive issues, we look more like an 8-8, 7-9 team than a 10-6. The rest of our schedule is a bit more favorable but we have a lot of issues that will need to be cleaned up. On the positive side, Green, Dalton and Bernard look good for the most part.

[Nictarion]

Pretty much nailed it, Mexal. 

Don't forget how bad our ST have been too. Erickson has been really bad so far. We start with bad field position every single time. I know he's a rookie, but it looks like we overestimated him against weak opposition in the preseason. 

The most frustrating thing for me so far is how bad the oline has played, and Zampese as the OC. I think we see why he didn't get a sniff at the job in 13 years. It was a really lazy hire, imo.

[Mexal]

8 minutes ago, Nictarion said:

Pretty much nailed it, Mexal. 

Don't forget how bad our ST have been too. Erickson has been really bad so far. We start with bad field position every single time. I know he's a rookie, but it looks like we overestimated him against weak opposition in the preseason. 

The most frustrating thing for me so far is how bad the oline has played, and Zampese as the OC. I think we see why he didn't get a sniff at the job in 13 years. It was a really lazy hire, imo.

Agreed on Erickson and the special teams in general but don't agree on Zampese. I think he's made some questionable decisions in the red zone at times (that 3rd down fade could have been Dalton checking to it with single coverage for Green) but I think the Bengals have done a good job moving the ball for the most part. A lot of breakdowns come from penalties or sacks slowing down a drive, neither of which I put on Zampese. And the lack of WR talent who can separate isn't his fault either. I think he's been pretty good and he'll get better as he gets more experience.

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

1 hour ago, Mexal said:

For the record, the Bengals aren't a very good team at the moment. Just making sure that was clear to everyone.

Do you think Marvin Lewis survives the year? 

[Mexal]

Just now, Tywin et al. said:

Do you think Marvin Lewis survives the year? 

Probably. If we don't make the playoffs though, he should be fired. It's time.

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

Just now, Mexal said:

Probably. If we don't make the playoffs though, he should be fired. It's time.

Well for your sake the path just got a lot easier. Big Ben is likely out 2-6 weeks, but he could theoretically miss the rest of the year (although that's unlikely). They will most likely lose their next three games, and the Ravens have shown us they were 3-0 frauds. The winner of the AFC North will probably be 10-6 at best. If your team gets to the playoffs they'll have to win the division though, because I think the two wild card teams are pretty obvious (Bills and Raiders/Broncos).

[Mexal]

Just now, Tywin et al. said:

Well for your sake the path just got a lot easier. Big Ben is likely out 2-6 weeks, but he could theoretically miss the rest of the year (although that's unlikely). They will most likely lose their next three games, and the Ravens have shown us they were 3-0 frauds. The winner of the AFC North will probably be 10-6 at best. If your team gets to the playoffs they'll have to win the division though, because I think the two wild card teams are pretty obvious (Bills and Raiders/Broncos).

Yea, AFC North isn't very strong this year. We could theoretically make it in at 9-7. I'm not entirely discouraged yet. Just haven't seen much from our team as a whole to think we're going to be as good as we were last year.

[Wrl6199]

Just now, Mexal said:

Yea, AFC North isn't very strong this year. We could theoretically make it in at 9-7. I'm not entirely discouraged yet. Just haven't seen much from our team as a whole to think we're going to be as good as we were last year.

So who exactly is your team? Personally my favorite team has always been the ravens since I am originally from Maryland. Also i think its pretty clear the Bengals ardent a very good team.

[Mexal]

4 minutes ago, Wrl6199 said:

So who exactly is your team? Personally my favorite team has always been the ravens since I am originally from Maryland. Also i think its pretty clear the Bengals ardent a very good team.

The Bengals. The Ravens aren't a very good team either. That's one of the things that gives the Bengals a chance at making the playoffs.

[Wrl6199]

5 minutes ago, Mexal said:

The Bengals. The Ravens aren't a very good team either. That's one of the things that gives the Bengals a chance at making the playoffs.

Yeah i mean the ravens haven't been doing that good either. But yeah i guess i should've assumed you were a Bengals fan since you were talking about them.

 

[Mexal]

3 minutes ago, Wrl6199 said:

Yeah i mean the ravens haven't been doing that good either. But yeah i guess i should've assumed you were a Bengals fan since you were talking about them.

It's all good. Most people know which is why I don't always need to call it out. But yea, Nictarion and myself are the resident Bengals fans on this board.

[Rockroi]

So, do people know if the AFC Championship game is the early or the late game on that Sunday?  I … I’m asking for a friend… 

The Patriots dominated a team that wanted to be dominated more than a character in Fifty Shades of Gray.  The Bengals walked out there just hoping they would get their asses whopped.  The most intensity that team showed was yelling at Rob Gronkowski for being Rob Gronkowski.  The Pats had to work, though; the final score was not indicative of how close the game was for much of the contest.  The D was hapless in the first half, they kinda got bailed out in a ticky-tack PI call; but in the second half?  Donte Hightower is a complete stud, getting a huge Sack/Safety that ultimately turned the whole game.  The secondary played good enough, but certainly not great, but they made up for it by stifling the run.  And Tom Brady was, well, outstanding – 29 for 35 (that’s 83% completion percentage) for 376 yards and 3 TDs.  I would like Edleman to get “back on track” but I am getting a sneaking suspicion that we are watching the inevitable final decline of a once really good player.  Then again, James White had 8 catches so maybe they’re good.

And I think the Bengals are all done.  They just play like they are doing an infomercial at a prison.  They don’t want to be there and we are sick of watching them.  Marv Lewis looks like the world’s most dissatisfied warden.  He’s fired at the end of the season, right?  Where is his leadership on this POS team?  I mean, finally, we can all agree that he should go and there is no pesky “Has X-straight seasons with a playoff appearance” to make us roll our collective eyes, right?  Now, because the team decided to quit early instead of waiting to the post season, there is no camouflage of a post-season to confuse the issue.

And Berfect can go fuck himself for that shitty hit on Bennett.  I hope he gets shingles.  

And I feel that the Pats played about as well as they should have, but again, the Bengals pooped themselves.  I just do not know how good the Pats are if they have to play in the AFC Championship based on who they are beating.  

Which leads to…

We all can agree that the Steelers are just poorly coached, right?  The Steelers looked right past the Dolphins; they didn’t have any game plan; they honestly just thought that the Steelers would just walk into Miami and beat a putrid Dolphins team.  But… no…. no, turns out even the Dolphins get paid.  As a head-coach, don’t you have to prep your team?  Don’t you have to, you know, coach them?  Its not as simple as “HAM BONE!  Throw the ball to Antonio Brown!”  And there is no head-set controversy to blame this loss on.  So the result?  Steelers pooped all over themselves.  And now, Rothlesberger hurt his knee (his raping knee) and is almost certainly out this week… against the Pats.  

So, the Pats luck-sack into this week with LANDRY JONES as the Steelers QB.  So, with that, what’s left for the Pats? By my count they play ONE good QB the rest of the season, one serviceable QB and the rest are back-ups or suck ass:

Week 7: Landry Jones (back-up; terrible) 
W 8: Tyrod Taylor (not very good) 
W 9: BYE (Easily the third-best QB on this list) 
W10: Russell Wilson (Legit, top-tier QB)  
W11: Colin Kaepernick (terrible) 
W12 and W16: Ryan Fitzpatrick How many INTs do you think he will have by week 12?)
W13: Case Keenun (has more turnovers than TDs)
W14: Joe Flacco (has more turnovers than TDs; serviceable only because he does not actively try to lose his team the game) 
W 15 Trevor Simeian or whoever will be QBing for the Broncos by then
W 17: Ryan Tannehill (so we can begin another post-season of “Stupid-Pundit-Thinks-Next-Season-Is-The-Season-Tannehill-Turns-It-Around.”).  

Just… look at that?  Who will the Pats face that can bloody them up?  I say “Nobody.”  And that’s great- Pats make it to another AFC Championship game.  But really?  Not thrilled.  Great teams go up against other teams that will FORCE your team to “dig down” and fight to get a good win.  Instead?  March of the Tomato Cans.  Its fun and easy but it makes you complacent and next thing you know a really good Defense is punching you in the mouth in the Divisional playoffs and you are one-and-done. 
Other things:

-Fuck the Colts.  You are terrible.  Up like 23-9 with 7:04 left to play in the Fourth Quarter and you let Brock Osweiler drive up and down the field, catch you in OT and squander a good Andrew Luck performance.  But I am very happy for Bill O’Brian and I hope they make it to the playoffs.  Good guy.  

-Alex Smith threw the ball 22 times and completed NINETEEN passes!  He had THREE incomplete passes.  Oakland’s D is poop and Alex Smith continues to be the most dependable QB in the league (that’s not really a complement).  I am very pleased we have discovered our “Team-That-Makes-It-To-The-Playoffs-And-Inexplicably-Knocks-Off-The-Broncos” 2016.  Wait?  Manning isn’t in the league any more?  Oh… 

-I am happy for Seattle most especially because in the last 2 minutes of a game, PI is no longer a penalty.  Apparently.  
-Do… do we have to think the Lions are good?  They feel like they play a close game every week and they seem like they are in every game up to the end.  Look at it:
Week 1: 39-34 (+4 points) win over Colts
Week 2: 16-15 (-1) loss to the Titans
Week 3: 34-27 (-7) loss to Packers
Week 4: 17-14 (-3) loss to Bears 
Week 5: 24-23 (+1) win over the Eagles 
Week 6: 31-28 (+3) win over the Rams 

They have a total points differential of -3 points.  They seem to be a team that will always be in every game.  Good on them.  

-Do… do we have to think the Packers are bad?  They’re bad, right?  Rodgers looks like he’s lost half a step; threw a pick and he cannot just put the team on his back right now and force a win.  Lacy looked like poop and their D?  They cannot stop anyone.  Elliott is really, REALLY good, but 5.6 yards a carry?  Packers may not make the playoffs?  What will we do then?  What team is going to INEXPLICABLY make terrible coaching decisions in the fourth quarter is Mike McCarthy is not around?  

- Odell Beckham Jr. is unreal.  That last TD was amazing.  What must that feel like?  Do go out and nail a play everyone knew was coming and score (what amounted to) the winning TD in front of tens of thousands of fans?  This guy is unlike anyone I have seen.  Yeah, taking off the helmet cost his team, but thankfully the Ravens were already boarding the team bus by then.  

-What happened to the Panthers?  I mean, obviously they were not ready for this; they are in full implosion mode.  Their QB is a head-case who is melting like a wax doll.  But they are the ultimate lead-dogs; they play great when they are in the lead and whenever somebody challenges them, they fall apart.  Cam Newton is great up by 10, but when was the last time that team had to come from behind for a big win?  Thankfully, Newton left his press conference early to get onto next week.  Shit head.

And give the Saints credit- that team can only win by allowing Breese to go out there and sling the rock.  And fuck… did he… give that O credit.

-And my hatred of the Steelers has NOTHING to do with the fact that I had them in my suicide pool… as far as you know. 

The Pats are now in the driver’s seat for the AFC… again.  And I’m happy.  At the same time… the Bills are not done and it feels like a few of these teams can suddenly get frisky.  And if that happens, how will the Pats respond?  Can you imagine the Bills playing the Divisional round against the Pats and smacking them in the face and stealing a 20-14 game?  

Because I sure as heck can.