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NFL 2016 Week 9: Once You Go Dak, You Never Go Back

Manhole Eunuchsbane

By Manhole Eunuchsbane,
in Entertainment

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Ramsay B. Council Member

Ramsay B.

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16 hours ago, Manhole Eunuchsbane said:

Yeah, I'm not crazy about that line either, but I went through with it. Ended up with Tenn +3.5, Phi +6.5 and Dall -7. Put down a hundred bones to win seven hundred.

Not looking too hot right now.

And to the surprise of absolutely no true Giants fan, the horrible Bears are dominating us.

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Trebla Council Member

Trebla

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1 hour ago, Ramsay B. said:

Robbie Gould just missed his 2nd extra point. Asshole.

Fun fact: In 2007, Gould hit on my gf when we were at a bar in Chicago. 

LMAO. That is fantastic. My favorite Gould memory is him telling a reporter that he needed a big contract to feed his family. At the time he was newly married and had no children. :P

On other fronts, Dallas keeps on rolling. Dak Prescott lit up a wounded Ravens' secondary and Zeke Elliott got tough yards against the #1 run D. Quite honestly, I have not been this excited about the Cowboys' future since the '91 team that featured an ascending Triplets. Not even in 2007 when Dallas also was 9-1. That team's 1 loss was an ass whipping against the undefeated Patriots. I never really thought that Dallas team could win a Super Bowl that year. This year? Dallas has a major flaw with their pass rush but is there any team in the league that DOESN'T have a major flaw?

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Jace, Extat Council Member

Jace, Extat

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13 minutes ago, Ramsay B. said:

11 missed extra points today. We're witnessing history.

ETA: Torn hamstring for AJ. Damn.

I don't think I've ever heard of a football player tearing a hammy... That's really hard to do. 

Usually that injury is reserved for jumpers and hurdlers in my experience, though Green has the prototypical build for such sports and is known for going vertical.

He was coming into this one with a bad hammy right? Most sprinters don't reach a full tear because they stop fucking running at a grade 1 or 2, but if he tried to push through...

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dbunting Council Member

dbunting

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Happy Dallas got past Baltimore, this game had loss written all over it.  Zeke ran well enough and Dak found his mojo.

Watched a little of the Jags Lions game and man, I see how the Jags are called the Lions of the AFC.

Not sure if I like seeing all these extra points getting missed or hate it. I use to think they should just get rid of the extra point because it was pretty automatic but now?

Nice rainstorm in LA!

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Ramsay B. Council Member

Ramsay B.

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29 minutes ago, dbunting said:

Not sure if I like seeing all these extra points getting missed or hate it. I use to think they should just get rid of the extra point because it was pretty automatic but now?

I was wondering that today too. Maybe they should move it up another 5 yards so they hike it from the 10, or maybe we're just overreacting because it was, in fact, an automatic for so long? There were 8 missed in all of 2014, and 11 missed just today. Crazy.

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Fiddler Council Member

Fiddler

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I am not quite sure how to feel about the win by the Lions today.

On one hand I'm so happy they won and are still in 1st place.  They are set up so that if they can just handle business on Thanksgiving they may be able to take the division.

On the other hand, I wanted to throw my remote through the TV because they looked horrible against the Jaguars.  I mean they had an extra week to plan for the Jags and came out looking dogshit.

Oh well.  It could be worse.  They didn't have any major injuries.  They didn't lose because of a missed extra point (Prater was blocked on one though) or even lose due to Caldwell's inability to out coach my 8 year old nephew.

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Rockroi Council Member

Rockroi

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Sorry I haven't been around for the last week or so.  My business is growing (which is very strange for this time of year; people tend to not want to start a divorce proceeding as the holidays approach, but here I am) and with a lot of other demands its my time was limited.

 

Just a  few words about Week 10 (last week); I thought Week 10 was the best week of football all season.  The Steelers and Cowboys played a whale of a game; Washington DC continued to vie for a position at the playoff table; the Giants looked amazing on Monday night; KC went into Carolina and played a hell of a game; Broncos and New Orleans played a game that, sadly, came down to one (maybe) controversial play; Miami became the latest team to defeat the Chargers by one score.  It kind of felt like every game came down to one play and was decided by less than 7 points.  

Oh, and the Pats D shit the bed. There was that. 

In all honesty, it was a great game overall and Wilson is a complete stud; I would love the guy if he were the Pats QB.  Every team in the NFL should want a guy like him as their QB.  But the Pats were playing too cute because they were PETRIFIED that the Seahawks would get the ball back so they ran every second off the clock and played great field position... except they forgot to score that game-tying TD.  Stupid details.  The Pats D looked like they were lost without Jamie Collins ... because they were lost without Jamie Collins... 

Which brings us to Week 11.  

Fuck the Pats D is terrible.  Okay, they won; ... hoorayyyyyy.... kinda... But they beat an absolutely loathsome 49'ers team; they were ranked 29th in DVOA (24th in O; 25th in D) which means they are a worse team than Jacksonville, the Rams, and probably 6 or 7 High School teams. Total shit team.  Their QB is completely terrible (yet somehow better than Blaine Gabbert), but thankfully we all learned that while he is kneeling down during the National anthem he is otherwise super focused on the games- this fucker doesn't even let VOTING get in his way.  Voting is for oppressors ... apparently ... Colin Kaepernick probably doesn't know how voting works, which is fine because he also doesn't know how "playing QB works" either; he's 0-for as a starter.  Five TDs v 2 INTs and 4 Fumbles.  Carlos Hyde is half-dead, the O-line is terrible, and the D is shitty at all three levels.  

And the Pats... struggled.  They started off fast, then cooled off in the 3rd before, thankfully, pulling away in the 4th quarter. THey still gave up over 80 yards to Hyde and 2 TDs to Kaep (who was otherwise "meh" completing around 50% of his passes).  The Pats were without Gronk, Hogan and their best pass rusher, Jabaal Sheard who was left back in New England for no good reason.   But they still had long stretches were it looked like a team that could not force a turnover... because they are a team that cannot force a turnover.  They are DEAD LAST in INTs... with five.  Guess who had two of those?  JAMIE COLLINS!  I know, I know, its like the Pats are sucking on purpose.  

I mean, yeah, it was great that the Pats ... won... but they beat a terrible team and their terrible Qb and their vastly overrated head coach.  Who cares?  And yes, agreed, Brady looked near-perfect with 4TDs, no picks, 280 yards and ~115 passer rating.  But that can only get you so far; QB play becomes tougher in the playoffs as Ds bear down, refs put the flags away and D-coordinators throw in the kitchen sink.  The last big game the Pats had was against Seattle and they pooped themselves.  The Pats will not play a meaningful game until week 16 (I think) when they go into Denver.  Until then?  Baltimore?  The Jets (x2)?  The Pats have to do better in games against quality opponents and not just pile on the trash heap that is San Francisco.  

Okay, anyway, onto a few other things:

 

-As I write this NFL kickers missed eleven (11) Extra Points.  I swear, the rule is in their heads. 

-Mexal, I honestly have nothing against you.  But I think the universe does.  The Bengals' season all but ended today when their All-Universe WR AJ Green.  Everything about the team is terrible- their head coach allowed the team head-cases to run things; theiur running game is gone, injuries have taken a toll and, generally, the Bengals are having the fatigue of playing great football for 17 weeks just to get fucked over by ... well themselves... in the playoffs.  So, to their credit, they are cutting out the middle man and just playing shitty football now.  Hopefully, Marv Lewis will gracefully accept his new position as the Junior Varsity head coach of Pinewood Vocational School so we can all get on with our lives.  

-Holy fuck what is happening to the Packers?  See, the Packers are the cautionary tale to any team who thinks "We have (a great QB) so as long as we have (great QB) we will be fine."  Well, no. The head coach as to do a bunch of other things and allow the QB to play great and the team to succeed.  And Mike McCarthy doesn't do that; he is incabale of getting out of the way. 

I hope he keeps Josh McDaniel's seat warm when he takes over as Packers head coach in 2017.  

-Jay Cutler is hilariously terrible.  In his last two games he has BARELY gone above 50% passing has 2 TDs and 3 INTs.  I watched him on that last drive against the Giants and he went Fumble, terrible Incomplete Pass, well-thrown INT.  You fucking mastermind, Jay.  Its incredible to me just how much better Brian Hoyer was compared to this sack of poop.  He sucks the life out of future Bears teams.  

That's all I have for right now.  Next week the Pats play another seriously terrible team, the Jets.  Hold me back in my gleeful enthusiasm... 

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