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Rant and Rave without Repercussions [S7 Leaks Edition]


Little Scribe of Naath

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After reading the preliminary leaks for episode five, I began pondering Arya's portrayal on the show, and I think one of the reasons why I find it so unfulfilling is because, despite physically getting older, she hasn't really grown up much. There are some exceptions (her bond with Lady Crane, for instance) but I think that what happened to Arya is the same thing that happened with Tyrion: the audience loved Nice Guy Tyrion, so they decided to completely ignore his dark side, and the audience loved Feisty Tomboy Arya, so they decided to stick with that as well. So much like how Tyrion has remained pure as the driven snow (despite, you know, shooting his father and strangling his girlfriend with his bare hands), Arya still seems like she's a kid to me, acting without ever really considering the consequences.

On the plus side, this makes me even more eager to see how the books unfold, since I think we can safely assume that George will continue to allow his characters to change and grow. 

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So, after watching a video clip in a "news" article that was trying to make sense of the episode 4 foolery, I realized we will finally get PATCHFACE!

Jaime falling into the bottomless lake means he will come back as Patchface... right? Get the antlered tin bucket helm ready because I am calling it now. I know, I know, oh, oh, oh.

And for some reason, when I first saw Jaime fall in to the bottomless lake, the first thing I thought of was this scene from Golden Girls. I kind of pictured Bronn as the Sophia in the comedy duo.

 

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34 minutes ago, The Fattest Leech said:

So, after watching a video clip in a "news" article that was trying to make sense of the episode 4 foolery, I realized we will finally get PATCHFACE!

Jaime falling into the bottomless lake means he will come back as Patchface... right? Get the antlered tin bucket helm ready because I am calling it now. I know, I know, oh, oh, oh.

And for some reason, when I first saw Jaime fall in to the bottomless lake, the first thing I thought of was this scene from Golden Girls. I kind of pictured Bronn as the Sophia in the comedy duo.

 

And here I thought he was going to come back as damphair :P

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So I was reading Roger Ebert movie reviews and came across this one for I Spit On Your Grave (that he has called the worst movie ever made), which has the same plot as Winterhell seasons 5 and 6 plots, with Sansa as the rape victim (I Spit On Ramsay's Grave). He could be writing criticism of Game of Thrones equally well:

https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/i-spit-on-your-grave-1980

(fixed the link)

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21 hours ago, Le Cygne said:

Another good recap, laughing so much (there's more good stuff, just some highlights):

Podrick and Brienne watch the Final Three (cuz Jon is just a cousin) come through the courtyard and Podrick pumping up Brienne talking about you kept your vow. Yo, I like Brienne a lot, but WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT?!?! Brienne waited for Sansa to light a candle in a tower for a whole season, then abandoned that post to go kill Stannis when the war started outside of Winterfell. She put the paws on The Hound, but Arya rather travel to the otherside of the known world than go with her, then came back to Winterfell when she was good and ready. I guess we all need a friend like Podrick that will absolutely pump you up for failing multiple times. Podrick is the dude in your entourage that tells you to hold out for a contract extension after you just had your worst season. Podrick will listen to your Fisher-Price rhymes in the studio and be like, “that shit Dracarys right there, B!” You tellin’ me jokes man...

But alas, King Pomade Jesus come in and break up what was gonna be the most glorious girl talk the Seven have ever seen. Jon wants Daenerys to see the cave where the dragon glass is at before they start mining it. I’m glad there was another thing to show Daenerys cuz I was like, “um maybe I need to turn the brightness up on my TV cuz all I see is a black ass shimmer and shine wall. We really breaking out the triumphant music for mineral enthusiast? The fuck Daenerys need to come down here personally to see onyx for?”...

Brienne asked her how she learned that shit, and Arya hit her with “No One.” I wasn’t ready, fam. I just wasn’t. Also, NEITHER WAS SANSA. My god, Sansa look like she just showed up to the city wide science fair with a potato clock. That shit was rouuuuugh. Jon got fucking murdered, but became King in the North. Bran got paralyzed, but became an Omega Level Mutant. Arya has had to run to every corner of the continent and lost her sight to become Agent 47. And Sansa was betrothed to not one but two monsters, got brutally assaulted, and gained a stalker so that she could fill out TPS reports on grain inventory. That’s fucked up man. Everybody else went away to college and became experts in their field while Sansa rotted away at a terrible MFA program and left with a degree she ain’t gonna do shit with and even more student debt. Life ain’t fair, yo.

http://blacknerdproblems.com/game-of-thrones-recap-the-spoils-of-war/

Gads, this is so great -- it goes perfectly with Leslie Jones's "Game of Jones!" with Seth Meyer from this week.  So much fun.  So much lolz.

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:lmao: at this one

Quote

But alas, King Pomade Jesus come in and break up what was gonna be the most glorious girl talk the Seven have ever seen. Jon wants Daenerys to see the cave where the dragon glass is at before they start mining it. I’m glad there was another thing to show Daenerys cuz I was like, “um maybe I need to turn the brightness up on my TV cuz all I see is a black ass shimmer and shine wall. We really breaking out the triumphant music for mineral enthusiast? The fuck Daenerys need to come down here personally to see onyx for?”

I saw the leaked video and I thought, "Man really, in the leaked script they wrote how amazing it's gonna look. I hope they refined the lighting on the dragonglass full cave shot on the final thing they're gonna show Sunday night." But nah... still black with barely some patches that reflect any light in that shot.

Look, caves are magificent to behold from the inside, with good lighting, whether they have obsidian or crystals or are just calcilte. I've crawled on my belly, doing the "snake" to crawl through a passage at wide as a birth canal, cursing my long legs for my knee to be in the way, and I've sat in a location where you went down to a spiral as if you traveled down into a snail's house, where they found ritually sacrificed maidens in what was supposed to be a drowned cave (for centuries), but after they removed the skeletons the water drained out somehow never returned, and the guide showing us a leftover molar lying around as evidence of the discovery but 5 years before that... Caves are cool! But i've never seen as disappointing a cave shot as the one in 7.04. And Blacknerd managed to describe my frustration with that scene, escpecially as hyped by the music and the leaked and hacked script :lmao:

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1 hour ago, Zorral said:

Gads, this is so great -- it goes perfectly with Leslie Jones's "Game of Jones!" with Seth Meyer from this week.  So much fun.  So much lolz.

LOL  I love the disclaimer at the beginning of the review:

 

***Spoilers heard coming over the hill well before you see them coming***

:lmao:Beautiful!! 

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Thanks for the links. Have to check out both later. 

Anyways.. "Battle of the Bastards" and "The Door" were both nominated for the Hugo Award in the category "Best Dramatic representation short form" , but they only made 3rd ("The Door") and 4th ("BotB") place behind The Expanse and Black Mirror. 

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3 hours ago, Lady Fevre Dream said:

LOL  I love the disclaimer at the beginning of the review:

 

***Spoilers heard coming over the hill well before you see them coming***

:lmao:Beautiful!! 

His piece on the foretold D&D slavery fanfic is very, very good -- goes well with Ta-Nehisi Coates' piece on it in the Atlantic too.

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10 hours ago, Queen of Procrastination said:

Thanks for the links. Have to check out both later. 

Anyways.. "Battle of the Bastards" and "The Door" were both nominated for the Hugo Award in the category "Best Dramatic representation short form" , but they only made 3rd ("The Door") and 4th ("BotB") place behind The Expanse and Black Mirror. 

They shouldn't really be that high.  The scripts and narrative are just bad. I don't think the visuals (which are very good) make up for that.

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2 hours ago, Ser Quork said:

They shouldn't really be that high.  The scripts and narrative are just bad. I don't think the visuals (which are very good) make up for that.

I agree, but at least they didn't get another award for their bad writing and the Hugo voters made a better decision than the Emmy voters. That's something. Baby steps. 

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On 8/11/2017 at 4:14 AM, The Bard of Banefort said:

After reading the preliminary leaks for episode five, I began pondering Arya's portrayal on the show, and I think one of the reasons why I find it so unfulfilling is because, despite physically getting older, she hasn't really grown up much. There are some exceptions (her bond with Lady Crane, for instance) but I think that what happened to Arya is the same thing that happened with Tyrion: the audience loved Nice Guy Tyrion, so they decided to completely ignore his dark side, and the audience loved Feisty Tomboy Arya, so they decided to stick with that as well. So much like how Tyrion has remained pure as the driven snow (despite, you know, shooting his father and strangling his girlfriend with his bare hands), Arya still seems like she's a kid to me, acting without ever really considering the consequences.

On the plus side, this makes me even more eager to see how the books unfold, since I think we can safely assume that George will continue to allow his characters to change and grow. 

Not to step on your toes, but I think the real reason Arya's arc feels unfulfilling is that she is now a fearsome avatar of death - an assassin without peer, and yet the only training we actually saw her do was getting beaten with a stick in the dark. 

On the one occasion when she is actually told to track a target and assassinate them, she fucks it up. Then she says she's done, and goes home. Where exactly did she learn the skills (which we don't get to see her use anyway) which make her this legendary assassin? 

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3 hours ago, TheCasualObserver said:

Not to step on your toes, but I think the real reason Arya's arc feels unfulfilling is that she is now a fearsome avatar of death - an assassin without peer, and yet the only training we actually saw her do was getting beaten with a stick in the dark. 

On the one occasion when she is actually told to track a target and assassinate them, she fucks it up. Then she says she's done, and goes home. Where exactly did she learn the skills (which we don't get to see her use anyway) which make her this legendary assassin? 

Arya > Brienne > Hound (weakened by a bite in the match with Brienne)* = Gregor > Loras (not to mention a bunch of other knights and various fighters, including multiples at once, each of those knights defeated)

Arya can beat most knights in Westeros. How did this happen? And if that's so, just forget this knight stuff, make everyone a water dancer with a few weeks of training, then get hit by a stick a lot.

*they never mention the bite anymore, here from the 4x10 script: "the Hound, already weakened from his infected wounds, soon begins to tire... even sick and exhausted he’s still far stronger than she is"

(and by the way, that was Brienne's bite from Biter that they gave to the Hound, just saying)

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16 minutes ago, Le Cygne said:

Arya > Brienne > Hound (weakened by a bite in the match with Brienne)* = Gregor > Loras (not to mention a bunch of other knights and various fighters, including multiples at once, each of those knights defeated)

Arya can beat most knights in Westeros. How did this happen? And if that's so, just forget this knight stuff, make everyone a water dancer with a few weeks of training, then get hit by a stick a lot.

*they never mention the bite anymore, here from the 4x10 script: "the Hound, already weakened from his infected wounds, soon begins to tire... even sick and exhausted he’s still far stronger than she is"

(and by the way, that was Brienne's bite from Biter that they gave to the Hound, just saying)

You're wrong about Loras. 

The Tyrells were never good at fighting remember? Politics was their strength. And that was true for every single soldier in their army and every knight they employed as well apparently.

 

So it makes perfect sense that they got destroyed in ten minutes of screen time. 

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23 minutes ago, TheCasualObserver said:

You're wrong about Loras. 

The Tyrells were never good at fighting remember? Politics was their strength. And that was true for every single soldier in their army and every knight they employed as well apparently.

 

So it makes perfect sense that they got destroyed in ten minutes of screen time. 

Oh right. They were just red shirts.

The lengths they go to for their bad filler is hilarious.

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