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Dating: to play the part of the one who doesn't wait


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On 09/06/2017 at 8:36 PM, Lily Valley said:

I can't get the quote function to work, but I keep reading "moped collection" as "moping collection.  In my head there is a glass cabinet with Lyanna's, Kay Fury's and my ex-boyfriends.  They are all frowning and muttering to themselves.

Ahahahahah, yeah they prolly would. Nice collection, too, I imagine, and not for the faint of heart. :P

EDIT: Actually let me retract "nice" :P (at least on the parts I am responsible for. Dunno about yous guys' stuff. )

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57 minutes ago, Lyanna Stark said:

Ahahahahah, yeah they prolly would. Nice collection, too, I imagine, and not for the faint of heart. :P

EDIT: Actually let me retract "nice" :P (at least on the parts I am responsible for. Dunno about yous guys' stuff. )

:waves hand vaguely:  There's a range.  Impressive numbers anyway.

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22 hours ago, Lyanna Stark said:

Ahahahahah, yeah they prolly would. Nice collection, too, I imagine, and not for the faint of heart. :P

EDIT: Actually let me retract "nice" :P (at least on the parts I am responsible for. Dunno about yous guys' stuff. )

Well, my exes are all good looking and interesting (or at least were when I had them, many have gone steeply downhill in the looks department since), but most of them are terrible human beings. There are a couple gems who were also nice who I would spare a beheading

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5 hours ago, Kelli Fury said:

Well, my exes are all good looking and interesting (or at least were when I had them, many have gone steeply downhill in the looks department since), but most of them are terrible human beings. There are a couple gems who were also nice who I would spare a beheading

What happened, bad lifestyle?

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Native cheekbones just get better with age and the sun doesn't damage our skin as much as all those pale Scandinavian Minnesota boys. One day I will wake up having aged all at once, like my people generally do, but I get to be cute past my time. It also helps that I'm childless, pescetarian, and straightedge. My childless aunt didn't get a gray hair until she was almost 50 and she lives on vodka, cigarettes, and keno machines. So I'm confident I can hold the line as long as she did.

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  • 2 weeks later...
17 hours ago, Liffguard said:

Welp, in reference to my previously mentioned situation, turns out she's a 9/11 truther. So, bullet dodged I guess?

Wow.  You should ask her about the melting point of steel beams, see if she suddenly does her best impression of a structural engineer. 

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On June 12, 2017 at 1:13 AM, Kelli Fury said:

Native cheekbones just get better with age and the sun doesn't damage our skin as much as all those pale Scandinavian Minnesota boys. One day I will wake up having aged all at once, like my people generally do, but I get to be cute past my time. It also helps that I'm childless, pescetarian, and straightedge. My childless aunt didn't get a gray hair until she was almost 50 and she lives on vodka, cigarettes, and keno machines. So I'm confident I can hold the line as long as she did.

Ah, the power of melanin. It's great, isn't it?

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I think the first thread like this was called 'Dating Blows'.

So my ex-gf / roomie and I have been cohabitating in a more or less open relationship since last September-- basically we hook up if neither of us is with someone else.  Ground rules were no guests unless the other one of us is away, and keep it out of our social circle.

Well, as of last week she started dating one of my friends.  I have like two local friends in this small-ass farming community.  I suspected something, which kept growing until I asked her last night. I knew she was seeing someone, which is fine and normal, but then started to think it was friend B.  She confirmed it when I asked.  We had a long weird talk that I hardly remember because all I could hear was my heartbeat and I just tried not to pass out.

Devestated.  Like magnitudes worse than the actual original breakup.  I was definitely hoping to get back together monogamously eventually; a few weeks ago I was her sober ride home from a wedding and she drunkenly professed her eternal love for me and reaffirmed our commitment to have a child in the future.

I am torn between extreme anger and betrayal and also feeling like it's none of my fucking business.  I half want to make an enthusiastic declaration of love and commitment, and half want to work my way through my tinder matches like recessive gene through the Targaryen family tree.

Pretty sure I need to move out for my own mental health.  Anyone else and I could handle it.  I mean, there have been others and we remained bff's.  But this is just shit. 

Then to top it off at work this morning I smashed my chisel hand with a 3 pound sledge and it's the size of a fucking grapefruit.  

Praying I don't run into my friend B because I am generally a pleasant dude and I know I won't be able to hold back from being as verbally and median-digitally vulgar and unpleasant as possible.  

 

On the other hand she has had some abusive relationship s in the past and know at least that she is with a respectful and great guy, other than the fact he started fucking her.  He knew that was a Nuke Friendship from Orbit move, as we had specifically discussed it when he and his fiance broke up this winter.  But we were friends for a reason and I *am* genuinely comforted knowing she's not with a fucking creepo asshole.  She's just with a fucking asshole.

Still in shock that they did this, feels like a fucked up dream.  Haven't slept since Monday night.  

Fortunately I now have the next five days at work off (thanks grapefruit hand) so I'm going backpacking with my dog.  Going to eat a bunch of trout and take shits in the woods with the sun on my face and mosquitoes on my butt.   Which should provide some kind of restorative feeling and perspective.  

 

 

 

 

 

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29 minutes ago, larrytheimp said:

I was definitely hoping to get back together monogamously eventually; a few weeks ago I was her sober ride home from a wedding and she drunkenly professed her eternal love for me and reaffirmed our commitment to have a child in the future.

You know how they say the truth is stranger than fiction?  Well in relationships the truth can be more devastating than lies. That is a really fucked up thing to say to your ex. 

Yeah, you need to get out of there.  Distance will definitely help.  A less serious example in my life was there was a friend of mine that I was pining over for a long time, even though I only saw her a couple times a year.  I had as the screensaver of my computer a slideshow of all my pictures, which understandably featured a lot of pictures of her.  When I realized that we were definitely going to stay friends and I needed to get over her I changed that screensaver, and not seeing her face randomly appearing on my computer all the time made a big difference.  Your situation is obviously 100X worse, but I'm just saying that not having her around all the time is the only way to go. 

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Wow, Larry, that sucks bad. You gotta get out of there stat. But, fall on the side of not your business. Your feelings can't be helped and are totally understandable but don't get mad at them, they're adults and not property. Get out of there, keep your distance if it helps (and I think it will), but feeling wronged is only going to make things worse for you going forward. Professing your undying love is nearly always a terrible idea. Stoically walk into the sunset with your dog

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1 hour ago, Kelli Fury said:

Wow, Larry, that sucks bad. You gotta get out of there stat. But, fall on the side of not your business. Your feelings can't be helped and are totally understandable but don't get mad at them, they're adults and not property. Get out of there, keep your distance if it helps (and I think it will), but feeling wronged is only going to make things worse for you going forward. Professing your undying love is nearly always a terrible idea. Stoically walk into the sunset with your dog

Thanks, you're on point, and that's how it played out today.  The rest of that stuff is pretty much the garbage that blows erratically across the alleyways of my mind, eventually it all comes to rest behind a dumpster, or is blown clear to the freeing streets, or consumed by an overfed raccoon or possum.  Not sure which category that falls into but I went from the 'Worst Place Imaginable' last night/ this AM to 'Onto The Next Mountain With The Dingo' tonight.

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12 hours ago, Kelli Fury said:

Wow, Larry, that sucks bad. You gotta get out of there stat. But, fall on the side of not your business. Your feelings can't be helped and are totally understandable but don't get mad at them, they're adults and not property. Get out of there, keep your distance if it helps (and I think it will), but feeling wronged is only going to make things worse for you going forward. Professing your undying love is nearly always a terrible idea. Stoically walk into the sunset with your dog

This was going to be my advice, but Kelli has such a way with words that I'm just gonna quote her instead. Good luck Larry. 

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