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Dating: to play the part of the one who doesn't wait


Datepalm

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Just now, Eggegg said:

Not really. I'm saying it would be nice to live in a world where that sort of thing was accepted. But we don't and I think there are reasons why that is the case.

Yeah but that is why I'm confused lol - because you are the type of person that is making it NOT acceptable - by saying if a girl did that you'd think she was crazy. If people stopped believing in silly nonsense like that then we WOULD live in that nice world...

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5 minutes ago, Theda Baratheon said:

Yeah but that is why I'm confused lol - because you are the type of person that is making it NOT acceptable - by saying if a girl did that you'd think she was crazy. If people stopped believing in silly nonsense like that then we WOULD live in that nice world...

Its not a matter of belief. Its a matter of experience. Most of the girls who have asked me out have been rather crazy. 

There are general reasons why girls don't tend to ask out guys. 

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19 minutes ago, Eggegg said:

Not really. I'm saying it would be nice to live in a world where that sort of thing was accepted. But we don't and I think there are reasons why that is the case.

I think in regards to such personal things, you really live in a "world" you create for yourself. If I decide that it is okay for me to ask somebody out, then it is okay for me. The only person who makes it unacceptable is the person for whom this is a personal problem. I would like to see the reason you think are there for it not being accepted (which I do not believe is the case anyway).

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56 minutes ago, Eggegg said:

Its not a matter of belief. Its a matter of experience. Most of the girls who have asked me out have been rather crazy. 

There are general reasons why girls don't tend to ask out guys. 

Kindly fuck off with this bullshit of calling people crazy. It’s really very offensive not to mention inaccurate

As for why girls don’t ask guys out, maybe it’s because if they do they get called crazy hmm? :rolleyes: 

@Theda Baratheon I’m riled up now and think you should go up and ask this guy out just to spite certain fuckweeds ont the internet. Good luck, no more internet for me today

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Not to hammer on this but I'm going to hammer on it anyway because it sounds kind of .... I dunno the right word.

And this is anecdotal, but all the long term girlfriends I've ever had have 'asked me out'.  In almost two decades of dating, i have dated by asking women out and also by being asked. 

It is extremely odd to me that if you are a person looking to have a significant other, sex partner, or whatever else in that realm, that you would limit your options to people that you specifically invite into the relationship, at the exclusion of those who ask you. 

 

And given the 'why haven't you asked me out' angle it seems like mostly semantics anyway.  Maybe I'm just a narcissist but if someone in already attracted to shows an interested in me, it makes me more attracted to them.

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2 hours ago, Theda Baratheon said:

Yeah but that is why I'm confused lol - because you are the type of person that is making it NOT acceptable - by saying if a girl did that you'd think she was crazy. If people stopped believing in silly nonsense like that then we WOULD live in that nice world...

Theda, don't get too wrapped up in what ifs. Ask him out. The worst that can happen is a no. You are an intelligent, attractive woman. If he says no you then know he is not the person who sees your qualities and you can then move onto the next one. His loss is your gain.

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Okay it's settled then I'm gonna have to ask HIM out...which I've never done before so much so I've had a few crushes in the past and just...done absolutely nothing about it then felt sad...don't wanna keep doing that :(

See not good for anybody - these rules when it comes to dating! 

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39 minutes ago, Theda Baratheon said:

Okay it's settled then I'm gonna have to ask HIM out...which I've never done before so much so I've had a few crushes in the past and just...done absolutely nothing about it then felt sad...don't wanna keep doing that :(

See not good for anybody - these rules when it comes to dating! 

9 years ago a drunken idiot said to me 'i like you', that was all it took, now we're married.  If she hadn't, i might be in this thread being pissed that i was single as i thought she was a bit out of my league, what do you have to lose objectively? 

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23 minutes ago, BigFatCoward said:

9 years ago a drunken idiot said to me 'i like you', that was all it took, now we're married.  If she hadn't, i might be in this thread being pissed that i was single as i thought she was a bit out of my league, what do you have to lose objectively? 

I suppose not much - just be a bit awkward when we see each other. But I think I'm just about over caring about the awkwardness - Ive put off doing way too many things already in my life just because it'd be a bit awkward or I was a bit nervous and I need to stop doing that!! 

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11 hours ago, Eggegg said:

Its not a matter of belief. Its a matter of experience. Most of the girls who have asked me out have been rather crazy. 

There are general reasons why girls don't tend to ask out guys. 

I think the reason is pretty simple- they usually don't have to. Asking people out is really scary to a lot of people, and as men are socialised to do the asking, women get asked enough. 

Thos situation isn't great for anyone. We have to face that bitter rejection more than is fair, but women only get the choice of men who ask them. By doing the asking, they can theoretically date all the other guys!

 

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13 minutes ago, Theda Baratheon said:

well...i don't think he fancies me at all and just sees me as a friend so that's okay i guess lmao i like him as a person a lot anyway he's really funny so it is what it is 

Hanging out over coffee is always fun - whether it's just as friends or not. :) But, I'm only now realizing how out of touch I am because I always assume absolutely everything is platonic when  (apparently) others don't necessarily see it that way. :blushing:

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15 hours ago, Theda Baratheon said:

well...i don't think he fancies me at all and just sees me as a friend so that's okay i guess lmao i like him as a person a lot anyway he's really funny so it is what it is 

Attraction isn't always immediate. If you have a good friendship, things might change. If not, you still have a friend. Win win, as long as being in his company doesn't sting too much. I've had to step back from friendships because of this, it sucks.

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