Vikings XI: Aelle's Anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun [SPOILERS]

[RhaenysBee]

Episode 18 

whooooooooooo is this person?!?! Whooooooo is her husband? Why did we introduce this random blond woman with the most unViking costume in the world two episodes before the season finale? 

So lagertha switched men for women because she was fed up with being cheated and lied to and betrayed, but now she is okay with Astrid and Bjorn screwing? 

Another human sacrifice. Aren't they getting bored with this? I know I am. 

 

Okay, but the last ten minutes were mind blowing.

Oh my god this awesome. The way they line up for battle and the actors scowl into the camera, and the smile fading From aelle's face, awwwww, beautiful, just beautiful. 

And the ragnarsons roaring into the camera and dragging Aelle to the snake pit. Amazing amazing. 

Oh good god, Bjorn is going to blood eagle him? I can't watch. 

Well Gustaf, Alex and new Alex absolutely killed this. It was insanely cool. I wish the battle was longer, or I wish there was an actual battle. Just a quick one. I could have used a quick battle instead of random blond woman and more human sacrifice. 

 

[Martini Sigil]

Apparently King Ecbert is a fan of the Byrds

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

[Corvinus85]

54 minutes ago, Martini Sigil said:

Apparently King Ecbert is a fan of the Byrds

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

I was wondering where that quote was from. 

The episode was largely amusing. I found myself rooting for Aethelwulf, but alas the poor bastard got completely out-played.

[Astromech]

DP

 

[Zorral]

7 minutes ago, Corvinus said:

I was wondering where that quote was from. 

The episode was largely amusing. I found myself rooting for Aethelwulf, but alas the poor bastard got completely out-played.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ecclesiastes+3&version=KJV

 Don't you read the Bible?  Sheesh, what would Athelstan think of you all?

[Astromech]

11 minutes ago, Corvinus said:

I was wondering where that quote was from. 

The episode was largely amusing. I found myself rooting for Aethelwulf, but alas the poor bastard got completely out-played.

He was intelligent at the beginning of the episode. What happened? I'm not seeing the genius in Ivar's plan, but at least we actually saw the battle this time.

Floki was sooo frustrated this episode.

Why build up Harald's love last week simply to have her killed this week? I suppose Hirst already was bored with that arc.

However, one good result from the Kattegat battle which left me shaking my head at times, especially the end of it.

The second half of 4b is too rushed when it comes to the major arcs.

 

[Corvinus85]

10 minutes ago, Astromech said:

He was intelligent at the beginning of the episode. What happened? I'm not seeing the genius in Ivar's plan, but at least we actually saw the battle this time.

Floki was sooo frustrated this episode.

Why build up Harald's love last week simply to have her killed this week? I suppose Hirst already was bored with that arc.

However, one good result from the Kattegat battle which left me shaking my head at times, especially the end of it.

The second half of 4b is too rushed when it comes to the major arcs.

 

I think Hirst finally tried to make Aethelwulf likeable, just ahead of killing him off.

And damn, Torvi. I cheered loudly, and then when she blinked, I cursed loudly. 

12 minutes ago, Zorral said:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ecclesiastes+3&version=KJV

 Don't you read the Bible?  Sheesh, what would Athelstan think of you all?

No I do not. 

[Astromech]

21 minutes ago, Corvinus said:

I think Hirst finally tried to make Aethelwulf likeable, just ahead of killing him off.

And damn, Torvi. I cheered loudly, and then when she blinked, I cursed loudly. 

No I do not. 

WTF! She blinked? Nooooo

[Trebla]

I got lured back by Ragnar's death and an interest in his sons. Wow am I sorry I started watching this again. Look, I get the tactic of a feigned retreat to envelop an opponent but this was ridiculous. 

[Corvinus85]

5 minutes ago, Trebla said:

I got lured back by Ragnar's death and an interest in his sons. Wow am I sorry I started watching this again. Look, I get the tactic of a feigned retreat to envelop an opponent but this was ridiculous. 

Those Vikings sure had some endurance. 

[Nictarion]

I didn't see Torvi blink either. Ofc Hirst won't just kill off one of his daughter's characters.

[Castel]

Lol,now Athelwulf is sucking off Athelstan too. 

I mean...holy man? He's a habitual apostate and Mr "Playing hard to get". 

 

[GallowKnight]

Man, I was so happy when it looked like Torvi was dead, but then she fucking blinked and ruined the whole thing. I guess she could still die but I'm not getting my hopes up.

That was fairly standard for this half-season, mediocre but not terrible. I haven't disliked 4b as much as 4a but it still is mostly just mediocre, despite having some really great bits.

The set-up for the big battle was OK I guess, pretty cool but I don't really understand the logistics of how it would work. I guess the army could just have been divided into smaller groups with the main characters moving between them to give the illusion that the whole army had moved. Or the Vikings could just have learned to teleport. Bjorn was a bit better this time around, but Alexander Ludwig's performance is still bit too one note and I wouldn't look to him for trying to fill Fimmel's shoes. All the brothers not named Ivar has basically been reduced to an after-thought. Did Hvitserk even have a line in this episode?

Athelwulf is better than anyone in Wessex deserves.

They did quite a turn-around on Harald story. I feel like the whole situation there had a bit more storytelling potential than it got but It's not like Ellisif and her husband was that compelling either. But I guess they finally added a little bit of depth to the H-bros. However, in the sagas Harald Fairhair was supposedly married at least three times and had like 20 children, so making him unlucky in love and with women seems like a weird choice. Halfdan's crazy eyes remind me a bit of Michael Biehn's Johnny Ringo.

I really liked the scene with Floki and Tanaruz.

What are the odds that Helga is killed by Tanaruz?

Kattegat sucked. It was obvious that Scarface wasn't going to be successful so It was just basically a battle for the sake of having a battle (which we probably could have gotten elsewhere, considering there is a giant Viking army roaming England). Had Harald actually led the battle then I might actually have been uncertain of the outcome. Plus it was kinda dumb. They secure Kattegat but somehow the enemy can just sail right up to the docks and disembark? Why did the supposed spies just start stabbing people when they were just on a reconnaissance mission? Why did they bother laying down planks when they could easily just have run through the ditches? It's not like they were that deep or wide. Astrid and Torvi suck! Plus, they have made such a good job of ruining Lagertha that I was actually kinda rooting for Scarface.

As for next week I'm expecting death, destruction and Bjorn being a dick. Maybe another time-jump too. And definitely some seriously shitty writing from Michael Hirst. Floki will probably still be good though. And maybe, just maybe, Torvi is dead. Fingers crossed!

[Einheri]

27 minutes ago, GallowKnight said:

Halfdan's crazy eyes remind me a bit of Michael Biehn's Johnny Ringo.

Well, the actor, Jasper Pääkkönen, is Finnish after all: http://i.imgur.com/oFREiEN.gif

27 minutes ago, GallowKnight said:

Plus, they have made such a good job of ruining Lagertha that I was actually kinda rooting for Scarface.

Yeah, you know they’ve done fucked up when people are actually rooting for a guy whose characterization can be summed up as “opportunistic Ramsay Bolton lookalike with daddy issues and a scar on his face” over earlier fan favorite Lagertha...

[Nictarion]

I'm fine with keeping Lagertha around for purely shallow and superficial reasons. Just kill off Torvi and Astrid. 

[Martell Spy]

Ah fuck, I was hoping Torvi was dead.

I wonder what happens now. Does King Ecbert take up the resistance?

[dbunting]

Despite a lot of dumb shit that happened, or maybe because my expectations are so low now, I liked this episode.

I liked Ivar being recognized for his intelligence and Bjorn not being so bull headed that he ignored it. The tactics made sense, even if the Vikings seemed to borrow Littlefingers teleportation device. Would have been nice to actually see Ivar in combat, I mean we did have enemies on horse back.

The whole attack at Kattegat was just annoying. I mean I would much rather have had Lagertha and her shield maidens as one faction of the GHA rather than have them defending the now suddenly huge port of Kattegat.

[HexMachina]

Since it's the finale next week this seems an opportune moment to ask - is it worth me picking this back up again? I do intend to watch one more episode - I gave up just before Ragnar's death so I intend to watch that far at least, since it seems a good finishing point. But did the season improve at all after that? Or is this the new standard the show typically runs at now? 

[Astromech]

15 minutes ago, HelenaExMachina said:

Since it's the finale next week this seems an opportune moment to ask - is it worth me picking this back up again? I do intend to watch one more episode - I gave up just before Ragnar's death so I intend to watch that far at least, since it seems a good finishing point. But did the season improve at all after that? Or is this the new standard the show typically runs at now? 

I'm finishing the season for closure more than anything else. I knew it was only a matter of time before the writing went full Hirst, as was the case for  The Tudors. I wouldn't say the season improved after Ragnar's death. There are some good parts with seemingly more and more bad parts. Sad, considering this was once one of my favorite shows.

[Veltigar]

For the life of me, I can't understand why I haven't started hating this show yet... Everything about this episode was just so fucking dumb. So Bjorn Ironside never really thought about using the landscape to his advantage in battle before? He was so weary he had to rest his feet instead of going out and scouting the best place to fight? What kind of a Viking is that? Who would even follow such an idiot. Scrawny old me would be better suited to lead that army than that nitwit. 

It just completely baffles me why Hirst decided to write it this way. A great writer would write the conversation between the brothers in a way that you could understand both characters and where they came from. A mediocre writer would just dumb down Bjorn to make Ivar look good. Michael Hirst on the other hand follows a different path. He makes both parties look retarded and hopes no one will care, but I'm afraid I do still care. The way everyone looked at Ivar like he was a Viking version of Grand Admiral Thrawn, while the only thing he did was suggest the MOST OBVIOUS FUCKING THING ever, just makes me want to punch something. 

Speaking of nonsensical decisions. What happened to Aethelwulf? Did he leave his brains in Wessex or what? All of a sudden he's just as infatuated with Athelstan as Ecbert? (Am I the only one who gagged a little when Judith observed him admiringly while doing so?) What the hell was that all about. And the way he handled that battle. What a stupid ass. Why on earth didn't he use scouts and outriders? Everything about the way this dunce was previously portrayed showed that, despite being a bit of a dolt, he was a capable commander...But the plot needed to go from A to B I guess, so Hirst decided to start pissing against the wind all of a sudden. 

Another thing that is just awful is the speed at which the plot moves. We're burning through yet another good source of drama in an episode, while you could easily write half a season out of the confrontation between Aethelwulf and the brothers. There are so many interesting ways to write this, especially if you continue on with my earlier idea of emphasing the discord between the brothers a bit more and building on the characters of all the sons. However the opposite is happening, clearly he wants to get to King Alfred before TLK gets to well entrenched in the collective mind and makes his take on Alfred look like shit. It doesn't matter that he makes all the sons of Ragnar look like idiots, he's on to his new shiny thing in the form of Alfred and that's the only thing that counts.

The good people in this thread have already pointed out the problems with the stupid developments in Kattegat. What was the point of building those defences if they are so easily surpassed. I thought Eagill had thought of something smart or at least pragmatic (bribe the guards) to gain entrance, but he just strolled right up there. I'm surprised Lagertha hadn't rolled out a red carpet yet to welcome him. If Kattegat was that easy to take, even with all those damn fortifications, than I don't get why they weren't thoroughly sacked and conquered years ago. It makes the Finehair brothers look pretty pathetic to be honest, that they can't seem to take Kattegat. Heck, it's pretty much an insult to the entire nation of Norway. Harald might not be able to take over the worst defended place in the world, but at least the Norwegians he defeated were even stupider than him. 

A shame really, because otherwise the Finehair bro's were great in this episode. I don't understand why he didn't just axe blondies husband last week, but I can live with how it turned out. I feel like Halfdan is a much better actor than his role really requires. His dialogue with Harald and his line when he killed you know who made me wish he got a bigger chance to shine. I also liked Bjorn using that dearhead to taunt Ivar, that's the kind of relationshipbuilding this show sorely lacks right now. Floki and Tanaruz (or whatever she's called) was also a pretty nice scene. Hated the rest really. Especially Ivar's fucking chariot is driving me bonkers... It's just not practival or even military useful in that setting... And even if it was, it's only drawn by one horse. It's complete madness to have just one horse draw such a heavy battle chariot. 

On 26-1-2017 at 5:57 AM, Nictarion said:

I didn't see Torvi blink either. Ofc Hirst won't just kill off one of his daughter's characters.

She did unfortunately. I was so happy when she appeared to be dead. I couldn't believe she blinked first, but after rewinding it there is no mistake possible. Hirst wants to keep sending out paychecks to his undeserving brood. 

13 hours ago, HelenaExMachina said:

Since it's the finale next week this seems an opportune moment to ask - is it worth me picking this back up again? I do intend to watch one more episode - I gave up just before Ragnar's death so I intend to watch that far at least, since it seems a good finishing point. But did the season improve at all after that? Or is this the new standard the show typically runs at now? 

If I were you I'd watch up until Ragnar's death, maybe also the episode after. You deserve the right to say adieu to such a great character. After that though, I think I wouldn't bother. On some level I do still enjoy this show, but anyone who's able to walk away from this has my respect I must say.

On 26-1-2017 at 2:00 PM, Castel said:

Lol,now Athelwulf is sucking off Athelstan too. 

I mean...holy man? He's a habitual apostate and Mr "Playing hard to get". 

 

I wish Floki could kill him again to be honest.

On 26-1-2017 at 4:25 AM, Astromech said:

Why build up Harald's love last week simply to have her killed this week? I suppose Hirst already was bored with that arc.

 What I still don't understand is this: wasn't Harald in universe supposed to be in love with Aslaug? Wasn't that how his character was introduced as sort of a former lover? 

On 27-1-2017 at 5:00 AM, Martell Spy said:

I wonder what happens now. Does King Ecbert take up the resistance?

Rhys-Myers is set to appear next week. Either he's Alfred after a timejump or he's the character taking over the defense of the Kingdom for a while. Ecbert is done as a military leader.