John Suburbs Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Why did Tyrion laugh when he ran across the battlefield? The grass was tickling his balls. What did the leper say to the Sailor's Wife? Keep the tip. What's the fastest way to turn Jaime Lannister into an Unsullied? Kick Cersei in the jaw. How is a joke different from three penises? Cersei can't take a joke. What does Lady Olenna have between her breasts that Margaery does not? Her navel. What do you call Sansa Stark adrift at sea? A cherry float. What did Blind Beth say as she passed the fish market? Good morning, ladies. Next... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clegane'sPup Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Not my joke, belongs to somebody else How does Lady Stoneheart like her ropes? Freyed. @John Suburbs sum of dem jokes be a might be a bit risque depending upon a persons humor level. Me, I love Carlin (dead though he may be), and I enjoy Gervais, Russell Peters and Russell Brand. David Walliams is sharp and abrasive but comical. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lifestream Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Ok, here I go. The first one is not mine, I think I've read it somewhere but I'm not sure it was worded like this. What does Jon Snow and the Hound have in common? They've both been kissed by fire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCK Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 What did George R.R. Martin say at the latest convention? Hard drive destroyed, have to start Winds all over again. Westeros has the best High Septon Lannister gold can buy! I'm not saying Aegon Targaryen is a fake, I'm just saying he was reluctant to produce his long form birth certificate when asked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daenerys Targaryen's slave Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 2189 A.D. George: I promise! My books coming out this year. Buddha: You said that last year! *eyes him evily* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scootaloo Stark Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Victarion: Hey author, did someone I know kill my brother? GRRM: Euron to something. ..I'm not even sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Illyrio Mo'Parties Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 In the next book, Brienne teams up with some Unsullied and starts a rebel army: the Brotherhood Without Boners Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Fossoway Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 4 hours ago, Illyrio Mo'Parties said: In the next book, Brienne teams up with some Unsullied and starts a rebel army: the Brotherhood Without Boners Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Snowflake Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 A Stark of Winterfell , a Lannister of Casterly Rock, a Dothraki screamer, and a Warlock of Qarth are all standing on the edge of the Wall. The Dothraki says, "this is for my people," screams a war cry and jumps off the wall to his death. The warlock of Qarth says, "this is for my people", drinks some shade of the evening and jumps off the wall to his death. The Stark of Winterfell says, "this is for my people", howls like a wolf.... and pushes the Lannister of Casterly Rock off the wall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmairdragon Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 How do you open the gates of the free cities With a Dothrakey. There is a special place in hell for jokes that bad I know but I couldn't stop myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scootaloo Stark Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Why did Tyrion go to a stable? Some Dothraki told him that "this is where horse go". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raisin' Bran Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Jhaqen always tells "A man walks into a bar" jokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboJed Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Not mine, but I thought it was brilliant: Where do whores go? Through the Ho Door Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lost Melnibonean Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 1 hour ago, Scootaloo Stark said: Why did Tyrion go to a stable? Some Dothraki told him that "this is where horse go". That's pretty good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lost Melnibonean Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 1 hour ago, Raisin' Bran said: Jhaqen always tells "A man walks into a bar" jokes. That's pretty good too. Hey, is that Nominations thread still open? I vote for this one. I am still waiting to hear a good one about Tormund's mighty member... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Suburbs Posted January 18, 2017 Author Share Posted January 18, 2017 1 hour ago, Lost Melnibonean said: That's pretty good too. Hey, is that Nominations thread still open? I vote for this one. I am still waiting to hear a good one about Tormund's mighty member... lol, this deserves its own thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scootaloo Stark Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 8 hours ago, Lost Melnibonean said: That's pretty good. Thank you! 8 hours ago, Lost Melnibonean said: I am still waiting to hear a good one about Tormund's mighty member... It's called the Reach because that's how far Tormund's member reaches? Not mine, I stole that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raisin' Bran Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 16 hours ago, Lost Melnibonean said: That's pretty good too. Hey, is that Nominations thread still open? I vote for this one. I am still waiting to hear a good one about Tormund's mighty member... What nominations thread is that? Tormund: On a scale of 1-10, how does Tormund rate his member? He can't count that high. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Illyrio Mo'Parties Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 17 hours ago, Lost Melnibonean said: I am still waiting to hear a good one about Tormund's mighty member... You mean the prick that was promised? 16 hours ago, John Suburbs said: lol, this deserves its own thread Way ahead of you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lost Melnibonean Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 31 minutes ago, Illyrio Mo'Parties said: Way ahead of you But it... it's been so long... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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