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UTI'S ARE THE WORST (why are all these threads so boring II)


Lily Valley

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I am here to discuss female complaints, ball problems and all other non-boring topics.  I would like to include the Oxford comma in this discussion as I hate it.   Based on reading my own writing, this is probably my fault.

I am 42 years old and I STILL screw up after periods of abstinence by forgetting to pee twice.  The resulting horror show is awful.  Doin' it now.  I honestly can't say I missed this.  In the book of my life when they weigh the UTI's against the scale of the sex I had, right now I would say "Tell peen to go eff itself".

'

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You never see the female love interest running off to piss immediately after sex in Hollywood films. UTIs are An Abomination unto Nuggan. 

My first boyfriend was quite well-endowed, which may have made things worse; I spent every day after sex with him drinking mug after mug of fruit tea in the hope it would flush any lingering germs out. I once ended up needing antibiotics after one UTI turned really nasty. After a few months, joining a nunnery and leading a celibate life began to sound really appealing. 

When I was at infant school, I remember being told that you put commas wherever you'd normally pause when reading a sentence. In addition, we were told that we should never put a comma after "and". 

The moral? Never pay attention to what they teach you in school, and choose lovers with small penises. 

 

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On 2/11/2017 at 3:56 AM, Lily Valley said:

I am here to discuss female complaints, ball problems and all other non-boring topics.  I would like to include the Oxford comma in this discussion as I hate it.   Based on reading my own writing, this is probably my fault.

I am 42 years old and I STILL screw up after periods of abstinence by forgetting to pee twice.  The resulting horror show is awful.  Doin' it now.  I honestly can't say I missed this.  In the book of my life when they weigh the UTI's against the scale of the sex I had, right now I would say "Tell peen to go eff itself".

'

Oh god those are the worst. The worst. When I used to get them, Bactrim was the antibiotic of choice.  They should have handed you a tube of Monistat to go with it.

It turned out that mine were caused by bubble bath of all things. Haven't had a bubble bath or a UTI in 15 years.

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The only thing I've found worse than a UTI is when the super antibiotics they finally give you to wipe out the mostly drug resistant strain you've been battling for six months immediately gives you thrush. 

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On 2/11/2017 at 7:29 AM, Inigima said:

Why do you hate the Oxford comma? It is necessary for clarity in some cases.

It feels like an overly dramatic pause after "and".  When I read it, I feel like Frank 'n' Furter is reading the sentence.

On 2/11/2017 at 0:47 PM, Kelli Fury said:

For UTIs cystex I think makes this bottle of concentrated cranberry something that works wonders. It's at Walgreens by all the other lady problem stuff

Thank you ma'am.  I will be buying in bulk and adding to my regular diet.  Ibuprofen and water have been my very best friends.  THE PAIN!  In addition, the UTI is the real modern reason for "NO SEX UNTIL MARRIAGE!"  That health insurance makes getting antibiotics a hell of a lot cheaper.

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UTIs ARE the worst.  Most of mine have been in connection with pregnancies.  Thrush on the other hand....apparently I'm just susceptible, so I wear lots of really unsexy granny cotton or face the consequences.  Sometimes, I definitely face the consequences.

Also, the Oxford comma?  I can take it or leave it.  This may make me a minority of one.  Also, I think lawyers horrifically OVER utilize the comma.  And the word "such," but, contrary to stereotype, not so much "said."

 

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12 hours ago, Lily Valley said:

It feels like an overly dramatic pause after "and".  When I read it, I feel like Frank 'n' Furter is reading the sentence.

That doesn't seem like a great reason. There are sentences that are absolutely ambiguous without it.

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20 minutes ago, Arbor Gold said:

Oh God, this punctuation fight is booooooring.

Here's a UTI-related musical number to get things back on track: 

 

Crazy Ex-GF has some great musical numbers. "Heavy Boobs" and "Having a few people over" are by far my favorites.

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13 minutes ago, Mexal said:

Crazy Ex-GF has some great musical numbers. "Heavy Boobs" and "Having a few people over" are by far my favorites.

I like "You Stupid bitch" and "California Christmastime" but there are so many good ones it really just depends on my mood.

Of course nothing beats "Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury" but that one was before the show started so technically doesn't count.

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