Angalin

Graduation: did you go to yours

53 posts in this topic

Tomorrow is my official graduation for my master's degree. I feel like throwing up and sobbing at the same time.

I don't particularly want to go, but that would make it the third grad I've skipped and there's no excuse such as not being in the country when we live in the same city. There doesn't feel like much to celebrate: the debt is high, the post-degree jobs are scanty, and I've been wrestling with depression for months now due to burnout, unsettling family shenanigans during the degree, and feeling purposeless after finishing it. So maybe the wanting to throw up and sob is caused by all that, and I'll feel more resolution about the degree once those are dealt with.

Did any of you skip your grads? Did you feel any different about your school or degree for going or not going?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

*hugs* congrats on finishing it though, fantastic! 

I went to mine but I hate all the pictures because I chose to wear a really ugly outfit??? 

It was really boring though and I didn't get any kind of good magical feeling from it 

I probably won't go to my Masters one as my MA is distance learning anyway so would have to travel quite a bit...but I'm only looking to at least pass it by the skin of my teeth so no sense of pride will be involved lmao 

Sorry you're feeling shitty though :grouphug: 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 minutes ago, Theda Baratheon said:

*hugs* congrats on finishing it though, fantastic! 

I went to mine but I hate all the pictures because I chose to wear a really ugly outfit??? 

It was really boring though and I didn't get any kind of good magical feeling from it 

I probably won't go to my Masters one as my MA is distance learning anyway so would have to travel quite a bit...but I'm only looking to at least pass it by the skin of my teeth so no sense of pride will be involved lmao 

Sorry you're feeling shitty though :grouphug: 

Thanks for the hugs :grouphug:

There's a kind of uniform for this, so... ugly or at least standard outfit by default?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I skipped high school grad, went to ungergrad grad.  I didn't feel I missed out with the skipped one and I would have been fine skipping the one I went to.  I think a lot is made about these celebrations and how it's so special and meaningful and that missing out is something bad, but the truth is that these things aren't for everyone.  I'm not into them.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I skipped my masters program graduation, I was playing at the college national championship for ultimate (frisbee) at the time.  It was obviously the right decision, although my absence was definitely missed, there were only about ten graduates in my program. 

Sorry to hear about all your graduation stress.  It sounds like this is only emblematic of, rather than actually causing, the problems.  But if you want to skip, don't sweat it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Went to HS graduation, and also went to my undergrad graduation even though I didn't really want to go to either one.  I felt it was more of a family photo op than anything else and I never have been sentimental or school spirited about either my High School or my undergrad. institution for some reason.  

Conversely, I ended up not being able to go to my grad school graduation even though I DID actually want to go to that one.  

In general though, I always feel a little bit like a faker at these sorts of things.  Yea, yea, no more school work, everyone's proud, blah, blah, blah.  Can we leave and hit the bar for the proper celebration yet?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, S John said:

Can we leave and hit the bar for the proper celebration yet?

No bar plans. I don't actually know if any friends are also graduating tomorrow.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well I've not graduated yet but barring catastrophe I will be in this Summer and I find myself in the same boat of not wanting to go. I hate fuss and being the centre of attention. The only reason I have to go is...well, family. I would only be going because they want me to, to get photos of me graduating and stuff. Doesn't sound a very compelling reason I know but I feel awful trying to say no. 

Maybe I just won't say anything, pretend I'm going then shoot off to Paris the night before.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I skipped any graduation that didn't also include a large group of friends graduating. So for me I went to High School grad, but I had transferred to a new school during my undergrad. I didn't have more than a few friends at the new school so I skipped that graduation. There was nothing personal I was going to gain from attending either so I just based it off who else was going. Although I would have gone to undergrad ceremony had their been an awesome speaker. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't go to mine because I was an arse hole and cheated on my partner at uni who was on the same course and didn't want everyone (small incestuous course) to boo me. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I went to mine, primarily because it made my grandmother very happy. Unfortunately it was the hottest day of the year and standing in full academic dress for an hour without any shade or water meant I looked more in pain than happy by the time the photo taking came round.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was on both BA and MA for mine mostly because it is done. Both were relatively boring ceremonies, especially the second one because I already knew how it looked like, but furtunately not particularly long. I did not get any special feeling of closure or whatever from it, with the first one I was very nervous and the second one was just a formality to me because I got another ceremony a couple of months earlier in the same room with the same person giving me a nice piece of paper that meant much more (a prize because apparently my MA thesis was just that good). That special one I would have regretted to miss.

But an opportunity for dressing up, having nice pictures taken and having a good lunch afterwards - why not.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

I went to my Bachelor's graduation, felt somewhat unenthusiastic about the whole process too. I never really got on with my course mates, I'm not a massive fan of standing in front of huge crowds, and I also don't like getting up early in the morning and travelling for hours in a suit.  

The entire thing went a lot better than expected, and I am glad I went. It was remarkably routine. Whatever fears I had were, not necessarily unfounded, but certainly embellished. The whole thing was mostly just sitting listening to speeches, with about 5 minutes of excitement in the middle.

 

I didn't realise it at the time, but we also had a formal high school ''graduation'', though it wasn't termed as such, that involved largely the same process. I also enjoyed that, despite being similarly nervous first time around. 

Edited by Leap

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hang in there, Angalin. Sorry to hear things aren't great.

I skipped both HS and BA grads. Highschool I'm honestly not even sure when it was or what was going on. I don't think we had like a ceremony (though what do I know?) I'd basically checked out on my senior year anyway (got both English and math and most of my major exams out of the way the year before and turned up to what was left just enough to matriculate.) I did get a certificate for 'class book reader'. (Can't make this stuff up.)

For my BA, graduating here is wildly anti-climatic, because the ceremony is in June or July of the year after you actually finish everything, and that's assuming you don't have some rogue credit left on a last semester or an extension on a final paper that will easily push it to a year after that. Which was my case. I think the university does the hats and gowns and things too, and that just seems absurd to me.  (Also, the university doesn't know where my diploma is. I never got it and conceivably needed a scan of it now for PhD apps, and when I went looking, all the faculty could say is that its in a room somewhere, but theres construction so maybe it isn't, and theres no way to check. hm.) Also, to be honest, I'm not really very proud of my BA, academically speaking, so it's not something I would want to wallow in. So, yeah, I didn't go.

I don't exactly regret either, as such, but then again, if you are happy with what you did there (whatever its leading to) and want to cement good memories, I dunno - maybe go? For me at least, the not going to the ceremonies is part and parcel of the whole thing as an overall not-that-great experience and not wanting too much of a takeaway, or trying to assert control as I can by not following the instructions and not being happy when I'm supposed to, or something. But if that's not the case - well, go, you have earned it. Especially for the beer afterwards.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Congrats Angalin on your graduation and sorry to hear about your depression.  I'm sure every new grad has similar worries about debt and careers. 

I was tempted to skip my MBA graduation ceremony.  U of Chicago Booth gets some great Econ speakers, but it makes for a long ceremony.  But my wife insisted that we attend.  I wasn't bothered but she felt it was a big milestone for her and our son after supporting me through a tough 2.5 years. So we went, it was a long day, but we marked the milestone and celebrated with a sense of closure. 

I did skip the awards ceremony dinner though.  I graduated top of my class and got the award for Finance too.  The dean was pretty aghast that I wasn't going to attend in person to collect those honors and give a speech.  I guess I'm the coolest of the UofC nerds.  Perhaps I should have gone and done a mic drop to make sure they all know it. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

I went to my PhD graduation on a whim. I wasn't enthusiastic about it at all. I've taken so long to finish my thesis that almost all my comrades graduated before me. Also, the graduation ceremony itself is worthless/pointless anyway: once you get your PhD what matters is publishing articles and getting that mythical tenure-track position.
But my GF encouraged me to go (and came with me). She said it would give me closure. I didn't really believe her.
But it did. Somehow, without even realizing it, I'd grown to hate my school and everything associated with it. Being able to go knowing I would never have to be a student there again was slightly liberating.
Also I got a free goodie or two (a cloth bag, a pen, a notebook... etc), got some free food and champagne, and even ended up having a pleasant chat or two with some teachers (not necessarily my own, funnily enough) or students.
It wasn't fantastic, but it ended up being a pleasant evening somehow.

Angalin, given your current state of mins, you might need to go without even realizing it. You seem to need the closure. It could really help you move on.
Just make sure not to be alone. If you can't go with a SO, then find a friend or a comrade that you know will be supportive and try to have as much fun as you can. Bring booze if none is offered (or chocolate if you're not a drinker). Or if it's too early to drink/eat, find some people to celebrate with after the ceremony.
At any rate, make sure you remember that day, not as being part of your suffering, but as the first day of your liberation.
If all goes well, after a short time, you'll remember that one day with a lot of fondness.
 

Edited by Rippounet

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Congrats!  I went to my Bachelors,, but I had spent 12 years working towards it and I was one of the few in my family and extended family to get a college degree. (in the army and raising kids and moving 4 times)

But now, I'm more likely to skip any further ones, because it is the years of work/degree that matters, not the walk in the funky robe. 

Take the time to reward yourself for the accomplishment, and forget the downsides, at least for a bit. :grouphug: 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Angalin said:

Tomorrow is my official graduation for my master's degree. I feel like throwing up and sobbing at the same time.

I don't particularly want to go, but that would make it the third grad I've skipped and there's no excuse such as not being in the country when we live in the same city. There doesn't feel like much to celebrate: the debt is high, the post-degree jobs are scanty, and I've been wrestling with depression for months now due to burnout, unsettling family shenanigans during the degree, and feeling purposeless after finishing it. So maybe the wanting to throw up and sob is caused by all that, and I'll feel more resolution about the degree once those are dealt with.

Did any of you skip your grads? Did you feel any different about your school or degree for going or not going?

 

I'm skipping my master's graduation in May. I skipped my undergrad too. If I get into this PhD program in the fall and make it through, I'll skip that one if I'm not forced into it. I'm not big on that stuff either. I'm just happy for you, and I think you should celebrate as you see fit. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I went to the high school and undergraduate ones. The MA doesn't really matter in my field; it's a necessary step to the PhD, but if you don't get the PhD, you're actually better off without the MA. I might have gone to the PhD one, but they only hold the ceremony once per year and by the time it came around, I was more than half a year into my postdoc so I forgot about it (and also I was across an ocean from it).

However, if you feel emotional about your Masters, it might be a good idea to go.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

I'll let you know if the opportunity ever comes up

 

but in all seriousness, congrats

Edited by supernintendo chalmers

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.