John Suburbs

Matches that Never Were

46 posts in this topic

It seems pretty clear that Lyanna would have been pretty miserable with Robert, and Cat would have suffered Brandon as best she could. But what about some of the other matches that were considered but not made?

Cersei and Viserys, or Cersei and Ned or Cersei and Oberyn

Arianne and Viserys

Jaime and Lysa, or Jaime and Elia

Tyrion and Lysa

Tyrion and Lollys

Tyrion and Elia

Littlefinger and Lollys

Disastrous marriages all? Or was there no one destined for a happy marriage other than Ned and Cat?

 

 

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Lysa might have fallen in love with Jaime, though it would have been ironic if she had. Instead of loving a man who only loved her sister, she would be loving a man who only loved HIS sister.

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I don't think a Jaime Elia marriage would have been disastrous. The whole sleeping with Cersei on the side would only have been a problem some of the time, because Cersei would have been elsewhere in the world with her husband. While Jaime may not have grown to love Elia, he wouldn't be cruel to her and they'd be content, if not happy.

As for the rest.....Lysa would have made either Tyrion or Jaime unhappy, and they in turn would make her unhappy, most likely though she may fall into an obsessive love for Jaime. Lollys would have just been ignored by Littlefinger and eventually killed. Tyrion and Lollys would never have actually happened, but I don't see any problems other than a lack of love. Tyrion may have been happy with Elia, and maybe even the other way around.

Cersei and Viserys would end badly for everyone involved and Arianne would slit his throat in his sleep before remaining married to him for long. Cersei and Ned are incompatible, and if Cersei gets pissed off by Roberts whoring then she'd go murderous over Oberyn's.

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1 hour ago, Adam Yozza said:

Cersei and Viserys would end badly for everyone involved

Well, we can be sure that that marriage would result in some crazy-ass-weird-batshit-f*cked-up-relation. When you combine the 2 of them, you wouldn't need a dragon to burn down the town, they would do it themselves.
Viserys: "You woke the dragon" #SLAP
Cercei: "Good night sweet dragon" #WOOSH #Wildfire

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Kinda curious why Tywin was against the Jaime-Elia match, a princess of Dorne is technically a higher match than a Tully

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12 hours ago, Canon Claude said:

Lysa might have fallen in love with Jaime, though it would have been ironic if she had. Instead of loving a man who only loved her sister, she would be loving a man who only loved HIS sister.

:laugh:

Yes, all of those matches seem to spell disaster.

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Posted (edited)

Cersei and Oberyn might have worked. I'm thinking he could keep her off balance enough to keep her from getting up to very much trouble. She might even stop mooning over Rhaegar.

Cersei and Viserys is a no.

Cersei and Ned is hard to say. He at least would not have called her Lyanna on their wedding night.

Jaime and Lysa would depend on whether she could stop mooning over Littlefinger.

Jaime and Elia I think might have worked.

Tyrion and Lysa is a no.

Tyrion and Lollys would have been fine for her but not for him. 

Tyrion and Elia maybe. She might have been able to look past his appearance and bring out the best in him just by treating him decently.

Littelfinger and Lollys. Oddly, I think that could have worked. He'd be fine with having a wife he could easily out-think and manipulate, and she might never know that he secretly despised her. I don't think Petyr ever would have consented to the match though. He was aiming higher.

4 hours ago, Cataldo said:

Kinda curious why Tywin was against the Jaime-Elia match, a princess of Dorne is technically a higher match than a Tully

Could be because it wasn't his own idea.

Could be that it was a package deal and required Cersei marrying Oberyn as well, which he never would have gone for since he wanted Cersei to marry Rhaegar.

Could be that he's anti-Dornish. Their culture is certainly less prudish (and hypocritical) about all things physical than Tywin is.

Edited by Lady Blizzardborn

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Baelor Breakwind And Princess Elia--Poor Elia would have still been alive if Ser Baelor had not farted. 

Arya and Elmar Frey--could you imagine? Elmar would have been gelded by needle the first time he attempted to make the bast with two backs.

Cersei and Euron-- I would love to see Cersei try to cuckold The Crow's Eye.

Sansa and Willas-- Sansa deserves to know what it feels like to be treated properly at least once in her life.

Mya Stone and Mychel Redfort

 

 

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I seem to recall Arianne once tried to seduce Renly when visiting Storm's End, as well as Edmure in RR.

Could've created some nice alliances.

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The only match that could've worked for Cersei would've been to marry another Cersei. And no, no matter how hard she tries to convince herself otherwise, Jaime is NOT another Cersei.

Lysa and Jaime would've been bad. They're both too needy and clingy! 

 

 

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19 hours ago, Canon Claude said:

Instead of loving a man who only loved her sister, she would be loving a man who only loved HIS sister.

Good one!

1 hour ago, The Pimp that was Promised said:

Sansa deserves to know what it feels like to be treated properly at least once in her life.

Well, Sansa WAS treated properly nearly her whole life, and very well at that, up until she met Joffrey.

As to planned matches, how about Robb Stark and one of the Frey girls? Admittedly, there were so many, but there was bound to be a few good ones in the mix, at least. Roose Bolton was very happy with his, as I recall.

Also, it seemed as if nearly every highborn fem in the 7K wished or thought themselves to have been betrothed to Rhaegar. Which would have been the best?

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15 minutes ago, zandru said:

Good one!

Well, Sansa WAS treated properly nearly her whole life, and very well at that, up until she met Joffrey.

As to planned matches, how about Robb Stark and one of the Frey girls? Admittedly, there were so many, but there was bound to be a few good ones in the mix, at least. Roose Bolton was very happy with his, as I recall.

Also, it seemed as if nearly every highborn fem in the 7K wished or thought themselves to have been betrothed to Rhaegar. Which would have been the best?

Robb would have probably chosen the prettiest Frey... (Roslin), who seemed to be a nice girl. If only he had married his Frey before settling off on his campaign. 

Cersei and Rhaegar would have been very interesting. So much would have changed if only The Mad King had swallowed his pride and allowed his son to marry his Hand's daughter. Would Cersei had continued her affair with the Kingslayer? Would Rhaegar had looked to Lyana? Cersei was more robust than Elia and had three kids with her brother, so she probably would have given Rhaegar three heads of the dragon. 

I believe that the Targaryens would still have the throne if Aerys had allowed his son to marry Cersei.

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14 hours ago, Ser Walter of AShwood said:

Well, we can be sure that that marriage would result in some crazy-ass-weird-batshit-f*cked-up-relation. When you combine the 2 of them, you wouldn't need a dragon to burn down the town, they would do it themselves.
Viserys: "You woke the dragon" #SLAP
Cercei: "Good night sweet dragon" #WOOSH #Wildfire

lol, that was the one that got me thinking about this. Cersei and Viserys. Holy crap.

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Oh! How about Euron's ambition to marry Daenerys? Sounds totally crazy to me, and why would she? Can Euron actually control her dragons? Might he make an offer she can't refuse - and then expect to cast her aside?

Now, Euron-Cersei might be enough to make me pity Cersei.

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6 hours ago, Lady Blizzardborn said:

Cersei and Ned is hard to say. He at least would not have called her Lyanna on their wedding night.

He was a cold man with strong morals. Add to this Eddard wasn't considered good looking and was a northerner (Cersei doesn't like the North). I don't think she would have hated him as much as Robert but it wouldn't have been a happy marriage.

6 hours ago, Lady Blizzardborn said:

Jaime and Lysa would depend on whether she could stop mooning over Littlefinger.

Hmm, I generally get the impression Lysa was never a healthy girl mentally. She would need a husband who would coddle her.

6 hours ago, Lady Blizzardborn said:

Tyrion and Lollys would have been fine for her but not for him.

He'd probably be happier if he had married her, it would have given him a place at castle Stokeworth away from his family, and if he got her pregnant his child would inherit the place. 

6 hours ago, Lady Blizzardborn said:

Tyrion and Elia maybe. She might have been able to look past his appearance and bring out the best in him just by treating him decently.

I doubt it, most highborn girls would rather swallow their pride and marry a hedge knight or just not get married at all before getting hitched to Tyrion. Also Elia was like 15 years older than him.

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12 hours ago, Cataldo said:

He was a cold man with strong morals. Add to this Eddard wasn't considered good looking and was a northerner (Cersei doesn't like the North). I don't think she would have hated him as much as Robert but it wouldn't have been a happy marriage.

Hmm, I generally get the impression Lysa was never a healthy girl mentally. She would need a husband who would coddle her.

He'd probably be happier if he had married her, it would have given him a place at castle Stokeworth away from his family, and if he got her pregnant his child would inherit the place. 

I doubt it, most highborn girls would rather swallow their pride and marry a hedge knight or just not get married at all before getting hitched to Tyrion. Also Elia was like 15 years older than him.

I don't see anything about her that's particularly unhealthy mentally until after her father tricks her into killing her own child, which almost killed Lysa as well. That's a pretty huge trauma. Add Littlefinger's lies to that and she ends up very unstable, but I don't think she started out that way.

That's true, but Tyrion needs someone he can talk to. He'd probably treat Lollys well but he'd never respect her, and would look elsewhere for mental stimulation.

The situation we've been given is that she married him. Whether she wanted to or not is kind of beside the point. Elia was kind and clever and would have made the best of the situation. Age gaps don't matter in political marriages. She'd have to wait for him to grow up is all.

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13 minutes ago, Lady Blizzardborn said:

I don't see anything about her that's particularly unhealthy mentally until after her father tricks her into killing her own child, which almost killed Lysa as well. That's a pretty huge trauma. Add Littlefinger's lies to that and she ends up very unstable, but I don't think she started out that way.

Maybe you're right there, but I still don't think she would have made Jaime very happy.

14 minutes ago, Lady Blizzardborn said:

The situation we've been given is that she married him. Whether she wanted to or not is kind of beside the point. Elia was kind and clever and would have made the best of the situation. Age gaps don't matter in political marriages. She'd have to wait for him to grow up is all.

Sansa is kind and clever as well... but she still didn't like Tyrion lol. She specifically tries to see the beauty in him and she can't find any, she thinks he is the most repulsive man she has ever seen.

I just can't imagine any highborn girl being happy married to Tyrion unless she was mentally handicapped like Lollys. I mean Westeros is a martial culture based around appearances, even the nicest girls still expect to at least marry a knight who isn't... deformed. Tyrion can't even aspire to that because his dwarfism stops him for participating in the Westerosi knight/jousting culture.

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Oberyn and Cersei would have had some real potential. Her issues with Robert's infidelity were real, but Oberyn would have most likely involved Cersei in his trysts, which is a hell of a lot more respectful than what Robert did (especially since there likely would have been other men involved for Cersei's pleasure). The only real issue I see is that since neither one would be coming into the marriage with a home of their own for the two to set up shop in, she would have to be content with always being a guest, which could irk her.

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23 hours ago, The Pimp that was Promised said:

Baelor Breakwind And Princess Elia--Poor Elia would have still been alive if Ser Baelor had not farted. 

Arya and Elmar Frey--could you imagine? Elmar would have been gelded by needle the first time he attempted to make the bast with two backs.

Cersei and Euron-- I would love to see Cersei try to cuckold The Crow's Eye.

Sansa and Willas-- Sansa deserves to know what it feels like to be treated properly at least once in her life.

Mya Stone and Mychel Redfort

 

 

Actually, Arya and Elmar got along pretty well and were friendly with each other at Harrenhal.  I can't see Arya being happy living with the Freys, and Elmar seemed a bit boring, so not a particularly happy marriage, but homicidally bad?  Nah!

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6 hours ago, Cataldo said:

Maybe you're right there, but I still don't think she would have made Jaime very happy.

Sansa is kind and clever as well... but she still didn't like Tyrion lol. She specifically tries to see the beauty in him and she can't find any, she thinks he is the most repulsive man she has ever seen.

I just can't imagine any highborn girl being happy married to Tyrion unless she was mentally handicapped like Lollys. I mean Westeros is a martial culture based around appearances, even the nicest girls still expect to at least marry a knight who isn't... deformed. Tyrion can't even aspire to that because his dwarfism stops him for participating in the Westerosi knight/jousting culture.

Those first two are subject to debate. Well-behaved is not the same as kind, and it took some serious danger and trauma to get her using her brains. Sansa was also 12 years old at her wedding. Elia would have been older and more mature.

And power, and money, and influence. There would be plenty of girls willing to trade a handsome guy for even the ugliest Lannister.

That's true but he's the smartest man in Westeros, and not every girl in the seven kingdoms is completely shallow.

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