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Your Random ASOIAF/TWOIAF/D&E Opinions, Confessions and Dirty Secrets, TEN-POCALYPSE


JonCon's Red Beard

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14 hours ago, The Fattest Leech said:

Nope. You can go in to your account settings and change your screen name. Plenty of people have done it with no problems. 

Thank you sooooo  much :D . 
Sorry for the off thread posts.

 

I have another confession. I hate the theory that Aegon is not legitimate.

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I have a dirty secret to confess.

While working on research for updating my Mance theory, I briefly compared Mance, Dalla, and Val in my head to Aegon I and his sisters...and wondered for a few seconds if Val and Dalla are secret Targaryen descendants. Then I switched from that to Wildlings conquering Westeros, and I felt a bit better.

 

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My dirty secret?

I find GRRM's prose mind-numbing. I LOVE the story, and even all the literary references, homages, symbolism, etc. He is a great storyteller. But all of that goes over my head, as my eyes glaze over with his endless descriptions of pointless shit and piles of useless adjectives.

I want to do a reread, find some of the literary genius hidden in there... but the idea of wading through hundreds of wasted pages makes me cringe. I can't bring myself to do it. 

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I hate how (F)Aegon is assumed to die in almost every theory. Him being alive is a scenario nobody thinks. 

GRRM as a character killer is way overrated. I think the fandom will throw a fit if he doesn't kill as many characters as they believe he will kill.

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Quote

...for one absurd moment he felt almost like Jaime, riding out onto a tourney field with lance in hand, his golden armor flashing in the sun.

When the laughter began, the dream dissolved. He was no champion, just a dwarf on a pig clutching a stick, capering for the amusement of some restless rum-soaked sailors in hopes of sweetening their mood. Somewhere down in hell his father was seething and Joffrey was chuckling. Tyrion could feel their cold dead eyes watchingthis mummer's face, as avid as the crew of the Selaesori Qhoran.

Tyrion IX, Dance 40

Poor Tyrion... Dude shoulda been knighted, or accorded some special honor after the Battle of the Blackwater, and his father shoulda given him more assurances of protection from Joffrey. Dude's head's gonna freakin blow when he finds out where whores go and meets his little baby girl. 

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A couple of observations:

We never see the death of Insurance Man.  I have sometimes wondered if the whole thing was a fake designed to test Arya's dedication and willingness to kill on command and the guy is still around somewhere.  While we know that a poison-covered coin can kill (see Oldtown Pate), this coinc was provided by the Waif, so we don't know if it is actually real.  I think he is actually dead, but can't help wondering.

Maggy the Frog:  Everyone seems to assume that Maggy's prophecy means that Tommen and Myrcella will die before Cersei, but I'm not so sure. Prophecies tend to have about as many loopholes as a carefully written tax code, so they have to be read with care.  It helps to read them literally.  While I accept that "gold will be their shrouds" indicates they will die as monarchs, it does not say that Cersei will actually see these shrouds.  And "your tears shall drown you" could refer to a lot of things.

Another thing.  In the prophecy, "another will come along, younger and more beautiful" is assumed to refer to a queen.  Yet, in English, when "another" is used without a modifier, it often simply means "another person", or in this case, "woman".  Sp whoever takes down Cersei doesn't actually have to be a queen.  Food for thought..  

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On 3/22/2017 at 4:23 PM, Lady Blizzardborn said:

I have a dirty secret to confess.

While working on research for updating my Mance theory, I briefly compared Mance, Dalla, and Val in my head to Aegon I and his sisters...and wondered for a few seconds if Val and Dalla are secret Targaryen descendants. Then I switched from that to Wildlings conquering Westeros, and I felt a bit better.

 

I think Bran Vras came to a similar to conclusion, or maybe it had something to do with the Moonsingers. That being said there is certainly more to Dalla and Val than meets the eye.

On 3/22/2017 at 11:01 PM, khal drogon said:

I hate how (F)Aegon is assumed to die in almost every theory. Him being alive is a scenario nobody thinks. 

GRRM as a character killer is way overrated. I think the fandom will throw a fit if he doesn't kill as many characters as they believe he will kill.

Not this guy, Sansa and Aegon will be in charge of what is left after all is said and done IMO. Agreed everyone discounts Aegon.

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On 3/23/2017 at 2:01 PM, khal drogon said:

I hate how (F)Aegon is assumed to die in almost every theory. Him being alive is a scenario nobody thinks. 

GRRM as a character killer is way overrated. I think the fandom will throw a fit if he doesn't kill as many characters as they believe he will kill.

I had him pegged to live, actually.

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I've convinced myself that Theon/Reek is a (partial) metaphorical echo on Aerys II Targaryen pre- and post-Duskendale. I don't really have much to go by except a few resemblances in terms of their character pre-madness and the physical effect their madness has on them, but I often wonder what Aerys was really like and what happened to him. Most of what we know of his reign comes from Pycelle's account, and Pycelle speaking about Aerys seems no more reliable than Robert talking about Rhaegar. That is all.

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On 3/21/2017 at 10:10 PM, Good Guy Garlan said:

I lowkey think Robert + Ashara = Gendry. The dude who paid Gendry's tuition (widely assumed to be Varys) was in fact an agent of House Dayne, hence the colors of his cloak, purple and silver. 

Or something. 

That is actually not so bad.

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I confess, I really want little Rickon to be more of a Snarlyyow story, and not a shaggy dog story. I have hopes that he is.

Go team Rickon!:commie:

Snarlyyow, the dog fiend: Set in 1699 and framed around the Jacobite (supporters of the overthrown king, James II) conspiracies of the time, Lieutenant Cornelius Vanslyperken is the greedy and treacherous commander of a small vessel that hunts for smugglers in the English Channel. Snarleyyow is his "indestructible" dog.

 Or this description of the book:

This book is filled with adventure, treachery, and a good mix of humor. Snarlyyow, the dog, a cur, is the focal point the story revolves around. He belongs to the captain of the Yang Frau, a British cutter that regular sails between Portsmith and Amsterdam. Of course, the captain loves Snarlyyow, but the dog is disfavored by the crew. The crew schemes to get rid of Snarlyyow, but every attempt to do so ends in failure. Of course, the Captain is greatly angered at the crew for this and he plots revenge on the crew members.

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On 26/03/2017 at 3:13 AM, KingMance said:

I confess that Jon Snow's physical description closely resembles my own. Sup, ladies?

(Important side note: I am happily married. Please do not slide into my PM's) 

:lol:

You think having a long faced, solemn look, has the ladies beating down your door? You should try resembling Jaimie, the blessed curse that I've had to endure my entire life. It's not easy being green golden! :P

And please, don't get upset with me @Jon's Queen Consort, I'm not saying that Jon isn't good looking, just that is the only description of him in the books. 

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