karaddin Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 Yeah there are definitely times I think I could go for that makeup haha. Also the 21 drinking age thing always hits a discordant note, I'm all "but at 19 you don't need to bluff your way i...oh right". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted July 11, 2017 Author Share Posted July 11, 2017 12 hours ago, Theda Baratheon said: hah aww bless them - i would probably love them to do my makeup tbh !!! and lovely - what was it like?? im having such problems with my hair lately it's growing out and i hate it Join me in quasi-mullet land. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 7 hours ago, Xray the Enforcer said: Join me in quasi-mullet land. thank god im not alone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted July 12, 2017 Author Share Posted July 12, 2017 15 hours ago, Theda Baratheon said: thank god im not alone so very not alone. My hair...it is a vision of hideousness. Silver lining: it also makes me look queer AF. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 55 minutes ago, Xray the Enforcer said: so very not alone. My hair...it is a vision of hideousness. Silver lining: it also makes me look queer AF. LOL I am I'm the EXACT same boat honestly high5 we're in this together now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 That makes it everyone. The fiancee keeps hacking off bits that are pissing her off. IT ISN'T HELPING. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 10 hours ago, Lily Valley said: That makes it everyone. The fiancee keeps hacking off bits that are pissing her off. IT ISN'T HELPING. I've been really really good with not doing this but it's A STRUGGLE . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted July 20, 2017 Author Share Posted July 20, 2017 I started shopping for a binder today and I am not sure how I feel about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 Wow X-Ray, big news. :hugs: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Of House Hill Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 That is a significant step. May everything go well...beyond your expectations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 Want to talk through the feelings? In what ways are you eager/positive? What are you not so sure about/apprehensive? Are you keen to see how you feel about the look but concerned about the physical sensation/pressure (for example)? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted July 20, 2017 Author Share Posted July 20, 2017 I'll need to think a bit before I can answer, because right now everything is just a jumble of emotion and lots of self-doubt. I am not even sure what is motivating this step, this desire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 No need to answer at all if there is no desire to, just trying to see if I can help with working it through <3 You may not have any explanation for any of it and that's fine too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted July 21, 2017 Author Share Posted July 21, 2017 I love you all. I think to pinpoint some of the unsettledness -- I keep asking myself "what's the point?" So much of the narrative around gender dysphoria is about transition -- and that's great! I am not criticizing anyone who decides to transition whatsoever. But I do not think I will ever transition, because "female" is part of who I am...it's just not ALL of who I am. So it just feels weird to decide "well, now it's time to wear a really uncomfortable article of clothing to dispel my increasing alienation from my boobs" and have that be the end-point, rather than a beginning. There were a couple of essays that covered femme nonbinary/femme MTF individuals (I need to dig those up again), and while those essays did absolutely nothing for me in a solution sense, it felt validating to know that others acknowledge the struggles of AFAB femme people who strongly affiliate with being male, at least some of the time. Note: while I'm struggling to articulate myself, I will probably say something badly. If I do, and you're hurt by it, please let me know so I can apologize/correct myself. It is not malicious, but I also recognize that intent (or the lack thereof) does not erase an injury. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sivin Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 16 hours ago, Xray the Enforcer said: I love you all. I think to pinpoint some of the unsettledness -- I keep asking myself "what's the point?" So much of the narrative around gender dysphoria is about transition -- and that's great! I am not criticizing anyone who decides to transition whatsoever. But I do not think I will ever transition, because "female" is part of who I am...it's just not ALL of who I am. So it just feels weird to decide "well, now it's time to wear a really uncomfortable article of clothing to dispel my increasing alienation from my boobs" and have that be the end-point, rather than a beginning. There were a couple of essays that covered femme nonbinary/femme MTF individuals (I need to dig those up again), and while those essays did absolutely nothing for me in a solution sense, it felt validating to know that others acknowledge the struggles of AFAB femme people who strongly affiliate with being male, at least some of the time. Note: while I'm struggling to articulate myself, I will probably say something badly. If I do, and you're hurt by it, please let me know so I can apologize/correct myself. It is not malicious, but I also recognize that intent (or the lack thereof) does not erase an injury. The point is that you like the result a little bit more than your (let's say) 'vanilla' appearance. You'll know pretty quickly if any discomfort is acceptable in exchange for feeling better. If it is you'll get used to it and maybe take a bit of a defiant satisfaction that you are in some way mastering your own body. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted July 22, 2017 Author Share Posted July 22, 2017 You're right. I need to stop overthinking things. Now I just have to unearth my measuring tape because sizing on these things is a bit arcane... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drawkcabi Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 I'm popping in here just to say I'm wishing everyone the best. The moldy orange tribblehead is not going to get away with this. You have allies...you have friends...standing with you. You don't need us, you are strong enough for this fight on your own, even today you are stronger now than at any other time in history. But you will not be on your own in any case, we are here to fight with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Pepper Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 I'm on the more pessimistic side of things when it comes to this administration and the future of american democracy, but for some reason I was brushing aside @Robin Of House Hill's fears when she suggested that outing one's self right now would be dangerous. She was right. This shit is going to get really really really fucking bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted July 27, 2017 Author Share Posted July 27, 2017 If I hear one more cis-gendered dude (it's always dudes) fuckhead bleat "waaaaaah this is just a distraction! Think of the important issues!!" I am going to feed them my goddamned fist. Because last time I checked, human rights are a pretty big deal, especially to those who rights are being stripped. It is possible to take action on healthcare AND be enraged when the President throws trans* people under the bus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted July 27, 2017 Author Share Posted July 27, 2017 In happier news -- my binder arrived last night. It is...weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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