Why all the hate about lutefisk/Marmite v. Vegemite which is the superior sandwich spread

[lacuna]

I've only tasted lutefisk once, 15 years ago, so forgive me if I'm hazy on the details, but what I remember most about it was its utter lack of flavor. There's a hint of the fish that it once was if you really look for it, but it tastes more like a damp rag that has been used to wipe fish leftovers from plates, then rinsed and wrung out. There's a mild, chemical aftertaste (like the smell of WD40, but not quite as strong) and the texture is that of slightly flaky jello. Often served with mustard on some lefse (a kind of potato-based tortilla), accompanied by aquavit, which is also disgusting.

I've tasted both Vegemite and Marmite, neither impressed me much.

[Seli]

Oh dear oh dear oh dear, so many heretics in this thread

Mayo, proper Belgian or knock-off Dutch, is great with fries; it is the one starting condiment.

Black salty liquorice is a basic food group. Or at least the Dutch and their Nordic cousins.

But sandwiches, there really needs to be some indoctrination education there. Basic sandwiches don't need all those fancy ingredients just one or two will do. Generally butter and anything else, and the butter can be easily left of for all ingredients that don't fall of the sandwich without it. Since people do seem to accept the savoury options we need to get into the sweet-ish ones.

Basic toppings are: honey, treacle, apple butter (and other fruit butters), jams, jellies, peanutbutters (not really sweet), hazelnut spreads (eg Nutella), chocolate spreads, speculoos spreads, caramel spreads, chocolate sprinkles, chocolate flakes, fruit sprinkles, aniseed flavoured sprinkles, sugar coated aniseed, aniseed flavoured sugar, coconut bread (a loose translation since everyone else seems sane enough to keep away from this Dutch delight), speculaas (as in the cookie itself). And there are some weird interlopers from abroad such as spreadable marshmallow, and oreo flavoured spread.

Any and all chocolate products in that list will be available in al least in white, milk and dark chocolate versions as well as mixtures of them.

TLDR: many of the people in this thread would not be happy with Dutch food traditions

[HexMachina]

1 hour ago, Seli said:

Oh dear oh dear oh dear, so many heretics in this thread

Mayo, proper Belgian or knock-off Dutch, is great with fries; it is the one starting condiment.

Black salty liquorice is a basic food group. Or at least the Dutch and their Nordic cousins.

But sandwiches, there really needs to be some indoctrination education there. Basic sandwiches don't need all those fancy ingredients just one or two will do. Generally butter and anything else, and the butter can be easily left of for all ingredients that don't fall of the sandwich without it. Since people do seem to accept the savoury options we need to get into the sweet-ish ones.

Basic toppings are: honey, treacle, apple butter (and other fruit butters), jams, jellies, peanutbutters (not really sweet), hazelnut spreads (eg Nutella), chocolate spreads, speculoos spreads, caramel spreads, chocolate sprinkles, chocolate flakes, fruit sprinkles, aniseed flavoured sprinkles, sugar coated aniseed, aniseed flavoured sugar, coconut bread (a loose translation since everyone else seems sane enough to keep away from this Dutch delight), speculaas (as in the cookie itself). And there are some weird interlopers from abroad such as spreadable marshmallow, and oreo flavoured spread.

Any and all chocolate products in that list will be available in al least in white, milk and dark chocolate versions as well as mixtures of them.

TLDR: many of the people in this thread would not be happy with Dutch food traditions

People put speculaas cookies in sandwiches?! 

[maarsen]

41 minutes ago, HelenaExMachina said:

People put speculaas cookies in sandwiches?! 

Damn, I haven't had one of those since I was a small child. Up till now I completely forgot about having that. Anise flavoured sprinkles I do remember. 

[Seli]

3 hours ago, HelenaExMachina said:

People put speculaas cookies in sandwiches?! 

Yes! They are nice when fresh and crunchy, But might even be better when brought for lunch and the butter and moisture from the bread has time to soften up the cookie.

http://allrecipes.nl/recept/10357/zoete-boterham.aspx

[Ser Scot A Ellison]

I do not like the flavor of Anise.  It tastes like medicine.

[FalagarV2]

Lacuna's quite right, lutefisk doesn't taste anything. Its texture is also fairly unappealing. However, it has from ancient times been decreed that it shall be served with bacon, pea stew, and mashed potatoes, which actually makes it into a pretty good meal.

[Ser Scot A Ellison]

6 minutes ago, FalagarV2 said:

Lacuna's quite right, lutefisk doesn't taste anything. Its texture is also fairly unappealing. However, it has from ancient times been decreed that it shall be served with bacon, pea stew, and mashed potatoes, which actually makes it into a pretty good meal.

Keep the sides lose the fish.

[Stubby]

On 09/04/2017 at 0:47 AM, Roose Boltons Pet Leech said:

Vegemite is too sweet. It's been years since I tried it though.

I can quite honestly say that this is the first time I've ever heard it alleged that Vegemite is too sweet.

Quite frankly, I am stunned into silence.

[Mlle. Zabzie]

On 4/8/2017 at 1:22 PM, Ser Scot A Ellison said:

I do not like peach beers.  I'm not super fond of peaches.

Scot, are you sure you live in South Carolina?  Like really sure?  Have you checked recently?

[Stubby]

Peaches are the furries of the fruit kingdom.

[The Marquis de Leech]

1 hour ago, Stubby said:

I can quite honestly say that this is the first time I've ever heard it alleged that Vegemite is too sweet.

Quite frankly, I am stunned into silence.

It's been years, but I do remember it as being too sweet.

[The Anti-Targ]

On 08/04/2017 at 2:26 AM, HelenaExMachina said:

 

Cheese and marmite toasties are delicious. So much goodness.

+1

Though are we talking British marmite or New Zealand marmite? Everything I say here relates to NZ marmite not UK marmite, as I have had no experience with UK marmite.

New Zealand marmite isn't beefy. I think the proper description would be salty+umami. In the case of NZ marmite the bitter aspect is negated with sugar, whereas vegemite has much lower sugar so the bitterness comes through.

Thus I prefer marmite as I don't like the bitter element in vegemite. And only to the connoisseur of yeast based spreads is this relatable, but vegemite lovers tend not to like marmite because of it is sweeter.

I freely admit that for health purposes the lower sugar content of vegemite makes it a healthfood winner. But in this instance taste>health for me, so I have not weaned myself on to vegemite. And there's the whole NZ vs. Aus thing too.

Wholegrain mousetraps (vegemite or marmite) = gastronomic excellence at it's most simple.

People's first encounter with vege/marmite is often a self inflicted injury as they often mistake it for a chocolate spread and are understandably totally grossed out when they lay it on thick and then almost vomit at the first bite. If the first encounter is through someone who is experienced with the subtleties and nuances of it then people can often be instant converts. Or at least not have a total aversion to it, something along the lines of @KidDisaster's relationship with it.

Really, people who like salty foods (salt peanuts, potato chips, anchovies) should at least give vege/marmite a try under controlled conditions (i.e. in the hands of an experienced operator). But don't just go out and buy a jar thinking that you'll be able to wing it when you get home.

 

[Ser Scot A Ellison]

1 hour ago, Mlle. Zabzie said:

Scot, are you sure you live in South Carolina?  Like really sure?  Have you checked recently?

Yup.  My kids, my wife, and my Mother-in-law think I'm nuts.  I still bring home Mcbee peaches when they ask me to.

[The Anti-Targ]

1 hour ago, Stubby said:

1 hour ago, Stubby said:

 

On 09/04/2017 at 4:47 AM, Roose Boltons Pet Leech said:

Vegemite is too sweet. It's been years since I tried it though.

 

I can quite honestly say that this is the first time I've ever heard it alleged that Vegemite is too sweet.

Quite frankly, I am stunned into silence.

 

59 minutes ago, Roose Boltons Pet Leech said:

It's been years, but I do remember it as being too sweet.

See my previous post. NZ marmite is sweeter than vegemite.

[The Anti-Targ]

@Ser Scot A Ellison I just want to say that my wife grew up in LA, almost a typical valley girl, and moved here when she was 14. She likes marmite, because she was exposed to it in the right way the first time.

[MercenaryChef]

On 4/7/2017 at 11:14 AM, Lily Valley said:

What in the name of All Powerful and Everlasting God were you doing in Gresham.  :shudders: MC, are you seeing this???

odd.  but the shoppe adjacent to the horse brass pub in Portland carries all your needed British sundries.

I used to offer spoons of vegemite to my kitchen staff years ago. I thought one cook might strike me after he tasted it.

forget lutefisk. it is hakarl for all my decayed putrid fish needs.

[Rorshach]

On 9.4.2017 at 10:28 AM, lacuna said:

I've only tasted lutefisk once, 15 years ago, so forgive me if I'm hazy on the details, but what I remember most about it was its utter lack of flavor. There's a hint of the fish that it once was if you really look for it, but it tastes more like a damp rag that has been used to wipe fish leftovers from plates, then rinsed and wrung out. There's a mild, chemical aftertaste (like the smell of WD40, but not quite as strong) and the texture is that of slightly flaky jello. Often served with mustard on some lefse (a kind of potato-based tortilla), accompanied by aquavit, which is also disgusting.

I've tasted both Vegemite and Marmite, neither impressed me much.

Haven't tried lutefisk, but I have heeded Are Kalvø, who said (paraphrasing) that "Norwegians drink aquavit to forget they ate lutefisk". 

Having tried aquavit, I think that's probably the best use for it. That, and paint remover.

[Rorshach]

19 hours ago, FalagarV2 said:

Lacuna's quite right, lutefisk doesn't taste anything. Its texture is also fairly unappealing. However, it has from ancient times been decreed that it shall be served with bacon, pea stew, and mashed potatoes, which actually makes it into a pretty good meal.

All that can easily be eaten without the tortured fish. Just sayin'.

[KiDisaster]

11 hours ago, Stubby said:

Peaches are the furries of the fruit kingdom.

Surely kiwis are more deserving of this honor?

What is it with Scandinavian countries and rotten fish anyway? (I know lutefisk isn't rotten but there's hakarl and surstromming and probably others.) 

I like to think I'm an adventurous eater, I'll try pretty much anything once...but rotten fish? I dunno.