How not to handle a meeting with Tywin.

[Lucius Lovejoy]

I'd tell him I'll pay him the gold once he tells me the truth - is Tyrion really his son or do all three belong to Aerys?

(In all seriousness I don't believe any A+J theories... and in all seriousness if I couldn't pay my taxes to Tywin I probably am not insulting him)

[Jon's Queen Consort]

So just between the two of us tell me, was Joanna really Aerys' concubine?

[Ser Loras The Gay]

22 hours ago, Jon's Queen Consort said:

So just between the two of us tell me, was Joanna really Aerys' concubine?

DAMN!!!! 

Dude, I love your awsers. This is my own.

Tywin my man, I'd love to pay you, but my litter is full right now otherwise I'd say to you shit your own payment.
or
I can open a circus and put your sons as my stars. One for the ugliness outside and the other two for the ugliness on their actions. I'd say I'd be rich as you just with the two.

[JonCon's Red Beard]

Well, considering I can't use the same tactic I use IRL ("she's not here, I'm her cousin"), I'd tell him I will work hard to pay in time, and how I appreciate the fact he's my lord and I have to serve him, probably as much as he had to serve Aerys.

[devilish]

On 08/04/2017 at 4:14 AM, Ser Loras The Gay said:

Picture this, you're with a meeting with Tywin, he wants some gold as taxes. Your house is not paying enough and you know that. He then ask you a explanation, how do you fuck it up?

blame it on Tyrion. It works every time

[Ser Loras The Gay]

4 hours ago, devilish said:

blame it on Tyrion. It works every time

You wouldn't fuck it up, you would make him very please hahaha

[devilish]

9 minutes ago, Ser Loras The Gay said:

You wouldn't fuck it up, you would make him very please hahaha

Tywin: "You haven't been paying enough taxes and as you know the Lannisters always make sure that you pay your debts"

Devilish: "Its Tyrion's fault"

Tywin: "What?"

Devilish panicking. "Its Tyrion fault, he took erm the money I gave him and spent it on a whore"

Tyrion: "Dad You can't seriously consider believing him"

Devilish. "Ask Cersei. She's the most beautiful and smartest woman in Westeros. Its a shame she's a Lady because she would be the perfect king of Westeros. She won't lie am I right?"

Tyrion "He's lying and you know it sis. If you lie too then you'll be damaging the Lannister family and"

Cersei "Devilish is right."

Tywin "whose the whore?"

Devilish points his finger to a random girl

Tywin "Kevan call the banners, every single soldier will now rape her, Tyrion will be last"

Devilish "Isn't that a bit too eccessive"

Tywin "Hmm actually send her to my chambers first, then we do the raping afterwards and finally she'll end up Gregor Clegane's toy"

Devilish "erm, wait, I was lying. Here's the money"

Tyrion "See dad, he was lying, leave the girl alone"

Tywin "You like the girl don't you?"

Tyrion "well she's a human being. I don't want her hurt"

Tywin "Good, Kevan, proceed with the plan and if she stays alive, send her to Ramsey Bolton!

 

[HoodedCrow]

Tell him how much Johanna complained about his prowess in bed, but that she was a vixen when you and Aerys were banging her in a threesome. And, by the way your last name is Reyne.

[devilish]

Ah so you want to feck it up my apologies.

I start by asking Tywin whether the Lannister delegate everything to others considering that Robert fought his war against the Greyjoys and Walder solved his problems when the 13 year old gave him a spanking . I'd ask him whether he was too much of a coward to sort the problem himself. Before he answers  I would tell him that it was a silly question to ask.  After all most Lannisters did the same in totally unrelated issues. Tywin needed Aerys to step into action to keep Joanna entertained. Cersei gangbanged half KL because Robert wouldn't touch her and her brother's performance were utterly pathetic and everyone know that Jeyne used to bang the Reynes. His father couldn't even find a decent woman after that and had to pay his son's wet nurse to keep him warm in bed. 

I would then high five Jamie using both hands and then I'll congrate Tyrion for passing chlamydia to his daddy through Shae. The imp is truly a chip of the old block since he also delegated the grievances to others.