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How not to handle a meeting with Tywin.


Ser Loras The Gay

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6 hours ago, Foot_Of_The_King said:

If you value your house or your person then defiance would be the wrong way to go. Are you not paying because you don't have the means or are you saying "fuck the lion, I'm keepin mys money"?

It's just a prank bro. 
But awsering serious this time. You don't have much money. YOu want to keep what you have kept from the taxes. But the roleplay here is to fuck up the meeting by saying something very stupid, or, at least something that would personally reach Tywin's pride.

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I'd imagine that you should start by saying you don't take orders from cuckolds, ask if he can only beget dwarf sons on his own and that's why he's not remarried and then that if he wants gold he can hit the privy. Then you'll start laughing like hell about your own jokes, repeat them to him and ask he if he gets the point of them. If he don't reply then you, laughingly and merry, goes into great detail to explain them to him.

Your head should be on a spike within the hour.

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Point out that his younger son seems to enjoy whores very much, add that we shouldn't judge because it's still better than fucking your own sister, then propose to let Tyrion use the whores in your lands for free as compensation for the unpaid taxes.

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1 hour ago, LionoftheWest said:

I'd imagine that you should start by saying you don't take orders from cuckolds, ask if he can only beget dwarf sons on his own and that's why he's not remarried and then that if he wants gold he can hit the privy. Then you'll start laughing like hell about your own jokes, repeat them to him and ask he if he gets the point of them. If he don't reply then you, laughingly and merry, goes into great detail to explain them to him.

Your head should be on a spike within the hour.

Nice way to het brutally murdered.

22 minutes ago, Joy Hill said:

Point out that his younger son seems to enjoy whores very much, add that we shouldn't judge because it's still better than fucking your own sister, then propose to let Tyrion use the whores in your lands for free as compensation for the unpaid taxes.

You could let the "banging your own sister" and would still be gold to propose something like that.

 

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5 hours ago, LionoftheWest said:

I'd imagine that you should start by saying you don't take orders from cuckolds, ask if he can only beget dwarf sons on his own and that's why he's not remarried and then that if he wants gold he can hit the privy. Then you'll start laughing like hell about your own jokes, repeat them to him and ask he if he gets the point of them. If he don't reply then you, laughingly and merry, goes into great detail to explain them to him.

Your head should be on a spike within the hour.

This

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Let me remind you that House Lannister is a lesser house and without a Valyrian steel sword of its own until it "upjumped" like a spice merchant and stole a sword from a truly ancient and truly noble house. Of course, the nouveau Lannister swords are all tarted up like steel whores, with red streaks that look like a bad Tyroshi dye job. Those garish swords are nothing, however, compared to the bright purple face of your late grandson who will go down in history as the King who Whined. Worst. King. Ever. There was that one time Joffrey spoke truth to power, though, pointing out that you hid under a rock while King Robert led the rebellion against the Mad King. Why are you such a craven, Lannister, always lurking in the distant background when battle is underway, letting your bannermen do the real work and then taking credit? No wonder Rhaegar didn't want to marry your promiscuous daughter. Who would want to be allied with such a grubby, grasping, garish family?

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