"My Family's Slave"

[Isis]

Wait. He wrote professionally but didn't know what a word search was? 

[KingintheNorth4]

Like everybody else, I felt a number of emotions after reading the article, feeling anger and sadness mostly. And I feel like Alex could've done more to genuinely help Lola once he had a career and home. It just seems like when he did try to help her, it was just to relieve himself of his own guilt.

[DunderMifflin]

To me it seems Alex and his siblings are among the least worthy of criticism of anyone in this story other than Lola.
Without having anymore details or other sources to these events it's impossible to decipher how much more could have been done or was attempted to be done to help. 

[Dr. Pepper]

When they became adults, they became complicit.  Period.  Alex mentions that they were all aware of Eudocia's status as a slave. They were horrified with it.  They fought their mother over it.  Not doing anything for years made them complicit, Alex even more so because he then brought Eudocia to his home and made zero mention about steps he took to provide her rehabilitation.  He then went on to submit an obit which we've all no doubt read.  You can have sympathy for the author without whitewashing it all.

[DunderMifflin]

Yeh I'll sympathize more with people that were actually there than with internet superheroes inconceivably far removed from the situation who don't know anymore about it than I do claiming they know exactly what the most moral thing to do would have been.

[MisterOJ]

I'm glad I read that. I'm not sure how I feel about it... but I'm glad I read it.

Real life is messy and hard and sometimes, there's no good choices. I have a hard time blaming the author and his siblings too much. Yes, they could have probably done more to help Lola. But they are themselves victims of their upbringing. They were conditioned from birth to believe that the Lola's situation was okay. Because of outside influences, they did break the conditioning of their parents somewhat... but not completely. I'd like to think I would have done more or done better if I were placed in their shoes, but I'm not sure I would.

[Theda Baratheon]

3 hours ago, Dr. Pepper said:

There are A LOT of anti-slavery groups that are dedicated to rehabilitating freed slaves.  Over five decades of conditioning and living as a slave doesn't just go away before one of the former slave owners says you're free.  The options only appeared limited because the author may have faced some sort of consequences or repercussion.  This man was so unwilling to face backlash that he submitted an obituary for Eudocia where he portrayed her as a woman who humbly chose to care for this family for seven decades.  Even now he's not having to answer for it because he's dead.  

Totally agree. 

[DunderMifflin]

1 hour ago, MisterOJ said:

I'm glad I read that. I'm not sure how I feel about it... but I'm glad I read it.

Real life is messy and hard and sometimes, there's no good choices. I have a hard time blaming the author and his siblings too much. Yes, they could have probably done more to help Lola. But they are themselves victims of their upbringing. They were conditioned from birth to believe that the Lola's situation was okay. Because of outside influences, they did break the conditioning of their parents somewhat... but not completely. I'd like to think I would have done more or done better if I were placed in their shoes, but I'm not sure I would.

We don't know how much more they did or didnt try. He's packing a decades long relationship into one article. So far the biggest moral hindsights suggested have been vague like get counseling or nameless anti slavery organizations. 

 

Interesting article about how Filipinos and Westerners are seeing this story differently.

https://qz.com/985614/the-atlantics-my-familys-slave-cover-story-filipinos-defend-alex-tizon-from-western-backlash/

"The story struck a chord with the Filipino community, many of whom defended Tizon and insisted that understanding their history and culture was necessary to fully appreciate the story and the writer’s perspective."

 

 

[maarsen]

56 minutes ago, DunderMifflin said:

We don't know how much more they did or didnt try. He's packing a decades long relationship into one article. So far the biggest moral hindsights suggested have been vague like get counseling or nameless antI slavery organizations. 

 

Interesting article about how Filipinos and Westerners are seeing this story differently.

https://qz.com/985614/the-atlantics-my-familys-slave-cover-story-filipinos-defend-alex-tizon-from-western-backlash/

"The story struck a chord with the Filipino community, many of whom defended Tizon and insisted that understanding their history and culture was necessary to fully appreciate the story and the writer’s perspective."

 

 

Wasn't a similar defense put forth for the peculiar institution in the Southern States? It didn't wash then.

[DunderMifflin]

9 minutes ago, maarsen said:

Wasn't a similar defense put forth for the peculiar institution in the Southern States? It didn't wash then.

Not that I'm aware of, no one is arguing that she was not a slave or that she should have remained being one.

Although, there do seem to be plenty of people imposing themselves into the story as the role of the superhero who fixes everything flawlessly

 

[karaddin]

I'm pretty sure Lola was her slave name and it's more respectful to refer to her by her actual name of Eudocia as Dr Pepper is doing.

[DunderMifflin]

Lola means grandmother but is also a title given to anyone of age to be a grandparent. Meant as a term of respect and reverence. Over time has taken on a new meaning that is something like "nanny" (NOT slave) but with more reverence and respect. In this case I'd agree since she was a slave it's probably more respectful to call her by her birthname rather than lola. I'm guessing though, the only way I would know for sure is to ask her before she died. When western white people start telling me what is appropriate for any and all cultures I tend to follow along, that's a group that tends to always get its way in these matters.

[DMC]

5 hours ago, DunderMifflin said:

What would be available in the 1970s -80s? I'm not sure.

 

2 hours ago, Dr. Pepper said:

When they became adults, they became complicit.  Period.  Alex mentions that they were all aware of Eudocia's status as a slave. They were horrified with it.  They fought their mother over it.  Not doing anything for years made them complicit, Alex even more so because he then brought Eudocia to his home and made zero mention about steps he took to provide her rehabilitation.  He then went on to submit an obit which we've all no doubt read.  You can have sympathy for the author without whitewashing it all.

Exactly.  @DunderMifflin, you're right, I don't know what was available during those times.  But I'm not sure why you feel the need to take up this mantle that's effectively designed to excuse the children of slave owners.  That's...weird.  It certainly was a complicated issue for Alex, but I think the problem everyone who's responding to you has is you continue to frame your responses from Alex's perspective.  Which, obviously, is all we have, which is the...icky(?) thing about this whole damn thing.

Further, while faux-internet outrage annoys me to no end, I don't think it's been expressed too much in this thread.  Reading Alex's article, I identified and sympathized (shocker) with his dilemma quite a bit.  But there are certainly some places where it's clear his omissions strongly indicate he knowingly allowed the abuse to go on when he was capable of doing something about it.  That's what bothers me, and would from anyone who has seen a family member abused, let alone fucking slavery.

[DunderMifflin]

2 minutes ago, dmc515 said:

 

Exactly.  @DunderMifflin, you're right, I don't know what was available during those times.  But I'm not sure why you feel the need to take up this mantle that's effectively designed to excuse the children of slave owners.  That's...weird.  It certainly was a complicated issue for Alex, but I think the problem everyone who's responding to you has is you continue to frame your responses from Alex's perspective.  Which, obviously, is all we have, which is the...icky(?) thing about this whole damn thing.

Further, while faux-internet outrage annoys me to no end, I don't think it's been expressed too much in this thread.  Reading Alex's article, I identified and sympathized (shocker) with his dilemma quite a bit.  But there are certainly some places where it's clear his omissions strongly indicate he knowingly allowed the abuse to go on when he was capable of doing something about it.  That's what bothers me, and would from anyone who has seen a family member abused, let alone fucking slavery.

Like what? The entire story takes place pre-internet.
Counseling and well intentioned organizations aren't even de facto magic wands today. Certainly less so in the 80s - 90s. The fact that they got her citizenship may point to some sort of plan to look for help or else what's the point of that? He could have called the police when he was 18 which may have gotten her and the mother both deported. Is that heroic thing to do? I can't really know being that all I have to go on is one article from one source.

[DMC]

5 minutes ago, DunderMifflin said:

Like what? The entire story takes place pre-internet.
Counseling and well intentioned organizations aren't even de facto magic wands today. Certainly less so in the 80s - 90s. The fact that they got her citizenship may point to some sort of plan to look for help or else what's the point of that? He could have called the police when he was 18 which may have gotten her and the mother both deported. Is that heroic thing to do? I can't really know being that all I have to go on is one article from one source.

Like I said at the beginning, once he had the "blowup" with his mother when he was in his twenties, he could have made much more effort to extricate Lola from the abusive relationship with his mother - I would be interested to hear what his other siblings have to say about it, especially the much older one.  The legal issues are actually leverage for him to do so.  And yet, he provides no indication in his own mea culpa exposition that he attempted to do so in any way before his mother died.  This has nothing to do with your thinly veiled contempt for counseling or NGOs, dude could have gotten her out of there and/or offered her to go home much earlier.

[DunderMifflin]

4 minutes ago, dmc515 said:

Like I said at the beginning, once he had the "blowup" with his mother when he was in his twenties, he could have made much more effort to extricate Lola from the abusive relationship with his mother - I would be interested to hear what his other siblings have to say about it, especially the much older one.

How do you know that?

Quote

 

 

 The legal issues are actually leverage for him to do so.  And yet, he provides no indication in his own mea culpa exposition that he attempted to do so in any way before his mother died.  This has nothing to do with your thinly veiled contempt for counseling or NGOs, dude could have gotten her out of there and/or offered her to go home much earlier.

And how do you know that?

 

[DMC]

3 minutes ago, DunderMifflin said:

How do you know that?

And how do you know that?

 

I know his mother abused Lola based on Alex's article.  I also know Alex did not mention any efforts to deal with said issue in his own article, which is an incredibly strong indicator he did not.  Do I know he could have gotten her out of the situation?  No, but see the first two sentences for why I take issue with his lack of trying.  This is very straightforward.

[Xray the Enforcer]

[mod] Note to participants of this thread: This isn't a situation where it's important to score Internet points, but a discussion about modern-day slavery and its effect on a woman and the family who kept her. I will be moderating comments heavily, so make sure you're not just here to win some edgelord battle. Thank you. [/mod]

[all swedes are racist]

yes, it is very straightforward. his family owned a woman as a slave, and did nothing to change that

[DunderMifflin]

16 minutes ago, dmc515 said:

I know his mother abused Lola based on Alex's article.  I also know Alex did not mention any efforts to deal with said issue in his own article, which is an incredibly strong indicator he did not.  Do I know he could have gotten her out of the situation?  No, but see the first two sentences for why I take issue with his lack of trying.  This is very straightforward.

Well actually he did.

He tried to teach her to use an ATM card so she could have access to her own money. He tried to teach her to drive so she could leave. He and all the siblings encouraged her to leave numerous times.
If that's not doing enough fine, there hasn't been much suggestion of what should have been done other than really vague stuff. If you think he should have contacted an organization, then which organization? What was the best organization to fix this problem that existed in whichever year you are claiming is the cutoff point for when he should have done more? And what would be the goal there. What exactly would they provide in terms of help.
And keep in mind this is all assumption since you are claiming that he included in that one article every single thing he ever tried or thought about to help her.

I'm just uncomfortable with the only person/people that brought this story to the publics knowledge being the focus here. There's a rabbit hole of blame and hindsight to go around. IMO, from what I read in the article the author and his siblings should be among the least to be criticized.