RLJ: Theory that's neither Eloping nor Kidnapping

[Lollygag]

I’m not very interested in RLJ, but the neither of the standard choices of kidnapping or elopement work for me character-wise. I have another idea of what happened which better fits the characters IMHO, but I’m not really sure how well it jives with the deep details of RLJ. A lot of this actually hinges on Ned’s and the Martell’s feelings. If this doesn’t work, I’d like to hear where it falls apart and I'll go back to being irked by neither kidnapping or elopement gelling with the characters.

Why I don’t think either kidnapping or elopement fit the characters of Rhaegar, Lyanna, Ned and the Martells:

1. Kidnapping

Rhaegar: He started out as artsy and sensitive, but for some reason did a 180 and became a great warrior despite his late start. That takes a phenomenal amount of self-discipline and calculation. Impulsive kidnapping just doesn’t work for me here. He was hyper-focused on his purpose, what ever that was.

Lyanna: If someone wanted to kidnap her they could, but I think she’d make herself very difficult to kidnap and then to stay kidnapped. If someone did succeed in kidnapping her resulting in a chain of events leading to the a very bad situation for her family, I don’t see her warming to that person.

Ned: He shows no anger towards Rhaegar. Ned never wanted to be a Lord. I’m not sure what he wanted for himself, but it seems like he still regrets not having that life. He lost his entire family except for Benjen, had to be Lord, and had to marry a woman he didn’t want to marry, yet isn’t angry at Rhaegar at all for kidnapping Lyanna and causing this whole thing? 

Martells: They only seem angry with the Lannisters over Elia’s and the children’s deaths. But not at the Targs or Starks for the disgrace and initiating the chain of events leading to their deaths. Doran is perfectly willing to ally with the Targs.

2. Elopement

Rhaegar:  Same reason as above. I don’t see something that impulsive and irresponsible as being in his character. I think he’d be very aware that kidnapping or eloping with Lyanna would start a war.

From a writing perspective: love at first sight does happen in real life, but in a book, it’s lazy writing. Character feelings need some explanation if you're writing a quality book. That Rheagar was hot and sang well and Lyanna was a pretty girl isn’t enough motivation for the actions which result from it. There’s attraction at first sight in the series, but romantic fairy-tale “true-love” stories aren’t consistent with the rest of ASOIAF.

Lyanna: She was impulsive and head-strong, but also an old soul. This statement seems to indicate that Lyanna does not believe in the romantic notion that “Love can conquer all”. She’s a kid, but this statement indicates to me that she’s well-aware of love’s place in the real world.

"Robert will never keep to one bed," Lyanna had told him at Winterfell, on the night long ago when their father had promised her hand to the young Lord of Storm's End. "I hear he has gotten a child on some girl in the Vale." Ned had held the babe in his arms; he could scarcely deny her, nor would he lie to his sister, but he had assured her that what Robert did before their betrothal was of no matter, that he was a good man and true who would love her with all his heart. Lyanna had only smiled. "Love is sweet, dearest Ned, but it cannot change a man's nature."

I also really struggle with the idea that she accepted infidelity in Rhaegar when shortly before she had rejected it in Robert.

Ned: I think Ned would have loved Lyanna deeply no matter what. But if she eloped with Rhaegar on impulse, it was also Ned who paid a steep, steep price. He ended up with a life that he didn’t want for himself with all but one member of his family dead by horrific means. If Lyanna eloped bringing so much grief to Ned, his love for her would be mixed with other feelings like anger and resentment. But they’re not. In fact, Ned seems to revere Lyanna as a saint. There’s actually strong reverence in the way he feels towards her. Again, elopement doesn’t work for me, either.

Martells: They only seem angry with the Lannisters over Elia’s and the children’s deaths. But not at the Targs or Starks for the disgrace and initiating the chain of events leading to their deaths. Doran is perfectly willing to ally with the Targs.

 

My option #3:

Lyanna was the Knight of the Laughing Tree. Aerys was deeply paranoid about this knight so he sent Rhaegar to investigate. Rhaegar actually did find out but hid this from Aerys due to the fact that it was just a well-intended kid’s prank and that Aerys targeting Lyanna would very likely start a war with the hot-headed Starks.

Rhaegar and Elia plotted together to throw Aerys off Lyanna’s scent. We don’t know much about Elia, but the Martells seems to have respected and loved her. Their revenge doesn’t seem so much about family honor so much as about Elia herself. Based on this, I’m guessing Elia was a pretty cool person. Elia would be very aware of Aerys’ paranoia and other problems. The plan: Lyanna would be dolled up like a girly-girl beauty pageant contestant, and on her best girly-girl behavior. Rhaegar would crown Lyanna instead of Elia to show Aerys that it was ludicrous that the Queen of Love and Beauty was also the Knight of the Laughing Tree.  Elia was from Dorne where relationships are a more fluid thing, so it’s plausible that she wasn’t threatened by this, and may have even come up with idea herself.

Martells: Elia working with Rhaegar to keep Aerys contained and the Martells knowing about it provides an explanation as to why they’re angry at the Lannisters, but not the Targaryens for disgracing Elia at the crowning and with his affair with Lyanna.

Eila’s and Rhaegar’s plot didn’t work. In a desperate last-ditch attempt to stave off war with the Starks, Baratheons and Arryns,  Rhaegar and Lyanna staged their elopement. Aerys called for the Starks, Jon Arryn and Robert to answer. That Robert was also called indicates that Aerys still believed that Lyanna was the center of the plot. If it’s all about just Rhaegar and Lyanna and a willing or unwilling love affair, Rhaegar can hope that Aerys can be dissuaded from believing in a conspiracy and thus starting a war. If they fell in love or something close enough to it, this provides a believable context for it which sounds in character for all involved.

Rhaegar & Lyanna:  Instead of eloping or kidnapping, they run off together to try to prevent a war. It makes it just about these two, and not about the rest of the Starks, Baratheons (Robert), and the Arryns. This also provides a more believable context under which they fall in love, or at least warm up to each other: they bond over their shared mission and ideals while on the run rather than the (to me) very forced love at first sight reason. They get to know each other over time. Lyanna can’t send letters to her family because the less they know, the better. The less that is known by the Starks, the less it sounds like a conspiracy to Aerys. It’s the same reason that Ned can’t tell Cat about Jon: if Robert ever found out, then Cat would sound innocent of all of it because she actually didn’t know about it. If she knew about it after the fact and was caught lying, it would implicate her even though she wasn’t actually involved.

Ned: Lyanna runs away and causes so much grief and pain. But Ned views her as almost  as saint and forgives her all the pain she caused him and everyone because she sacrificed herself trying to prevent it. Ned feels no animosity toward Rhaegar for the same reason. This idea also adds context as to why Lyanna has a statue. It’s not out of just Ned’s love for her or her tragedy. She did something big to try to save them all. Maybe that statue was entirely earned.

Martellls: I’m guessing that since Aerys’ paranoia was leading to a war with the Starks, Baratheons and Arryns, Elia would take care to make sure the Martells didn’t join in for their own reasons. If Elia wrote that it was her idea to name Lyanna QoLaB and the reason for it, and what was really the reason behind the elopement/kidnapping, this explains why  the Martells are only angry with the Lannisters and no one else.

 

All right, have at it.

 

[Lady Blizzardborn]

This actually sounds okay to me. Just needs a few tweaks.

Aerys didn't call for anybody's heads until after Brandon Stark came in with the biggest idiot move of the series. You'd think if protecting Lyanna was such a big deal, and even Elia was in on it, they would have mentioned the plan to Lyanna's family so that her hot-headed eldest brother didn't screw things up.

It wasn't Rhaegar's taking Lyanna that started the war, it was Jon Arryn's refusal to go along with Aerys' over-the-top reaction to Brandon's treason. If Brandon hadn't gone to the Red Keep screaming for Rhaegar's death, the story would very likely have played out differently.

I know it's been suggested before, so I'll throw it in as working well with your theory about Elia being in on the QoLaB bit, that Aerys found out about Lyanna being KotLT and ordered her arrested, so Rhaegar took his two must trusted KG and did exactly what dad told him to: arrest the girl. It's not his fault dad didn't include "and bring her to King's Landing."  Elia being in on protecting Lyanna to some degree early on also makes a tower in Dorne way less of an oddball choice for where Rhaegar took Lyanna.

I like your theory. I'd like to see the prophecy of The Dragon that was Promised worked into it as well. Rhaegar was pretty into that prophecy--after all it was him thinking he was TDtwP that made him decide he had to be a warrior--so it's probably worth including.

[Yaya]

I agree on your statement " I’m not very interested in RLJ, but the neither of the standard choices of kidnapping or elopement work for me character-wise. "

And I like your theory - will be doing some thinking on this. Just wanted to type this to let you know that you aren't alone

 

[SFDanny]

I think your instincts are right to look for a third answer, but I think you're wrong in the conclusion of what happened.

My own opinion is that what is likely is the running off together is not a "kidnapping" or an "elopement." Rather it is a rescue of Lyanna from an impending marriage to Robert. A rescue and a repayment of Rhaegar for the debt owed Lyanna by his use of her to send a message with the crowning of her as the Queen of Love and Beauty at Harrenhal. An act that is primarily political. That does not mean there is no attraction between the two at Harrenhal. I think there is a beginning of a romance there, but after the tourney the actions of the Starks and the rest of their alliance is to go ahead with their marriages. It seems likely along with the impending marriage of Brandon to Catelyn, the marriage to Robert is also going full steam ahead. Without Lyanna's approval. A chance meeting, and a plea for help, seems the most likely cause of the "kidnapping."

Let me also correct something. We know the Martells are angry with Rhaegar over the running away with Lyanna. Martin tells us so.

Quote

September 11, 1999.

The Baratheon Brothers

First. When Cersei and Ned talked in the godswood in aGoT, she mentioned Jon, and wondered who his mother was, (paraphrasing) "...Some peasant wife you raped, while her holdfast burned?" This indicates that there were fightings in Dorne when Ned went there to get Lyanna back. But I thought the Martells stayed out of the war, and that Ned went there when the war was all over. So: did Ned take an army with him into Dorne, or not?

Ned's army did not accompany him to Dorne, no. There were no battles in Dorne during Robert's Rebellion, though doubtless there were minor skirmishes along the borders. But it's not entirely correct that the Martells stayed out of the war. Rhaegar had Dornish troops with him on the Trident, under the command of Prince Lewyn of the Kingsguard. However, the Dornishmen did not support him as strongly as they might have, in part because of anger at his treatment of Elia, in part because of Prince Doran's innate caution. Cersei's line reflects no more than a desire to wound, to say something nasty to get a rise out of Ned.

 http://www.westeros.org/Citadel/SSM/Entry/1046/  bold emphasis added

Which tells us what the Martell brothers thought during this period, but doesn't tell us what Elia herself thought about all of this. What Elia thought has been debated in these threads for many years.

[Lollygag]

8 hours ago, SFDanny said:

I think your instincts are right to look for a third answer, but I think you're wrong in the conclusion of what happened.

My own opinion is that what is likely is the running off together is not a "kidnapping" or an "elopement." Rather it is a rescue of Lyanna from an impending marriage to Robert. A rescue and a repayment of Rhaegar for the debt owed Lyanna by his use of her to send a message with the crowning of her as the Queen of Love and Beauty at Harrenhal. An act that is primarily political. That does not mean there is no attraction between the two at Harrenhal. I think there is a beginning of a romance there, but after the tourney the actions of the Starks and the rest of their alliance is to go ahead with their marriages. It seems likely along with the impending marriage of Brandon to Catelyn, the marriage to Robert is also going full steam ahead. Without Lyanna's approval. A chance meeting, and a plea for help, seems the most likely cause of the "kidnapping."

Thanks for the SSM on the Martells.

I'm thinking that Ned still viewed Robert as a maiden's fantasy or some such in AGOT, so I take it that Lyanna's wishes in regards to Robert went unheard. His own disillusionment with Robert didn't start to take until he became Hand. Not seeing Lyanna's wishes is consistent with Ned having no problem marrying Sansa to Joffrey despite him being awful, and then reassuring Arya with what she never wanted. Ned also did his duty and married as told, so I'm really struggling seeing Ned as being at all sympathetic to Lyanna running off to avoid Robert, and also to Rhaegar for getting involved for this reason, especially given the outcome to the family and to Ned personally. I don't think he'd see Lyanna almost as a saint for this, and his feelings for Rhaegar would be quite different.

I do think avoiding a marriage with Robert could have helped to grease the path towards certain choices where Lyanna was concerned.

Can you think of another way to reconcile your idea with Ned's feelings about Rhaegar & Lyanna?

[ShadowCat Rivers]

I agree that neither kidnapping (out of love/lust) or eloping really make sense with what we know of the characters involved. My own alternative theory is presented below:

In short, Lyanna was at the wrong place at the wrong time, doing something that she wasn’t supposed to do ("willful and wild"). Accidentally, she saw / overheard Rhaegar & co plotting against Aerys and therefore they couldn’t just let her go with only her promise that she wouldn’t tell. The options would be kill her or take her along, so they did the later ("true knights" as they were).

Then, Lyanna’s and Rhaegar’s romance developed on the road.

It is also mirroring, in a twisted way, Tyrion's kidnapping by Catelyn.

 

ETA:

The problem I see with this theory that's presented here, is the supposed reasoning behind the actions: as a response to the KotLT incident. It does not work for me at all. First, because we don't have any indication whatsoever -in the main series or the world book- that Arys remained fixated all this time (that's about an entire year) in the identity of said person. Second, because, it seems like an idiotic counter-plot that is suspect to generate -quite predictably at that- equaly grave consequences as those that it was supposedly meant to prevent in the first place. As it ("it" referring to the "kidnapping" and all the rest that it instigated) actually eventually did, whatever it was. So to me, there is the need for some element that would make the thing a forced move that *had* to be taken as a "lesser bad" choice and not something plotted and thought about.

[Ahl of the House Cutler]

I personally believe that Lyanna went through a traumatic experience around the time of the Tourney at Harrenhal and the only person she could confide in was Rhaegar.  Lyanna doesn't seem like the type of girl that would cry over a song unless it hit her on a personal level.  Rhaegar crowning her QoLaB had nothing to do with love or lust and was more of a gallant knight telling a defenseless girl that everything will be ok.

 

[Helikzhan]

If we accept R+L=J then we also have to accept the pregnancy which might've come before she was abducted / left. She could not face her family or her betrothed in that case and would need to escape for the nine months it would take to have the child. 

I suspect the plan was carried out in secrecy. Rhaegar whisked her to the far ends of Dorne to protect her and to conceal the pregnancy. On the way through the crossing, they were unfortunately spotted by Baelish returning to the Vale. He then spun his own truth about an abduction by the prince which led to many people dying. 

That's my 2c on the matter. 

 

Edit: One other thing about Rhaegar as most are aware, he was very well read and turned to the martial arts when he read about the PtwP. The dragon must have 3 heads no different than in Balerion's time. It couldn't just be Rhaegar from his readings. It had to be Aegon and two more. But Rhaegar was only counting his own. He was not counting Aerys children. Whom I personally believe to be Dany and Tyrion.  

Most of this would go unnoticed in Westeros because the majority don't read or aren't educated enough to read. 

[Prof. Cecily]

47 minutes ago, Helikzhan said:

If we accept R+L=J then we also have to accept the pregnancy which might've come before she was abducted / left. She could not face her family or her betrothed in that case and would need to escape for the nine months it would take to have the child. 

I suspect the plan was carried out in secrecy. Rhaegar whisked her to the far ends of Dorne to protect her and to conceal the pregnancy. On the way through the crossing, they were unfortunately spotted by Baelish returning to the Vale. He then spun his own truth about an abduction by the prince which led to many people dying. 

That's my 2c on the matter. 

 

Edit: One other thing about Rhaegar as most are aware, he was very well read and turned to the martial arts when he read about the PtwP. The dragon must have 3 heads no different than in Balerion's time. It couldn't just be Rhaegar from his readings. It had to be Aegon and two more. But Rhaegar was only counting his own. He was not counting Aerys children. Whom I personally believe to be Dany and Tyrion.  

Most of this would go unnoticed in Westeros because the majority don't read or aren't educated enough to read. 

That's an interesting opinion.

How do you account for the bed of blood,If Lyanna came to term months before Ned arrived at the ToJ?

[Helikzhan]

1 minute ago, Prof. Cecily said:

That's an interesting opinion.

How do you account for the bed of blood,If Lyanna came to term months before Ned arrived at the ToJ?

Her term may have been late, delayed for whatever reason (Targaryen births are never easy) and thus the combination produced the bed of blood and her death.

[Prof. Cecily]

Delayed during months?

Seriously?

in any case, how many months are you proposing for the delay?

[Helikzhan]

Just now, Prof. Cecily said:

Delayed during months?

Seriously?

in any case, how many months are you proposing for the delay?

The war is said to have lasted close to a year. So less than 12 months but likely greater than 9 considering the outcome.

10 months is my guess. The baby would be mature enough to cause serious complications for the mother and without the appropriate tools or knowledge, it would be fatal for her to give birth. 

[Prof. Cecily]

1 minute ago, Helikzhan said:

The war is said to have lasted close to a year. So less than 12 months but likely greater than 9 considering the outcome.

10 months is my guess. The baby would be mature enough to cause serious complications for the mother and without the appropriate tools or knowledge, it would be fatal for her to give birth. 

A 10 month pregnancy? 

A lot of people say a 10 month pregnancy is a good thing:

http://www.today.com/parents/doctors-say-full-term-pregnancy-10-months-I550453

 

In any case,  who takes a pregnant 14 year old to an isolated tower?

The story really doesn't make much sense,

[Helikzhan]

7 minutes ago, Prof. Cecily said:

A 10 month pregnancy? 

A lot of people say a 10 month pregnancy is a good thing:

http://www.today.com/parents/doctors-say-full-term-pregnancy-10-months-I550453

 

In any case,  who takes a pregnant 14 year old to an isolated tower?

The story really doesn't make much sense,

It could be 10 or 11. All we know is that it was almost a year and the birth proved fatal. 

It wasn't 9 and it wasn't 12. It was in between and enough time passed where the birth became fatal for her. 

You're now introducing other things into the equation. There could be a number of reasons for why Rhaegar chose the ToJ over KL.  The most obvious to me is that she and the baby would be safer at the ToJ than anywhere else. In KL she'd be killed and in the north the baby would be killed. If she's long away in Dorne and nobody knows she's there, that's the safest place for both her and the coming baby. 

[LiveFirstDieLater]

1 hour ago, Prof. Cecily said:

That's an interesting opinion.

How do you account for the bed of blood,If Lyanna came to term months before Ned arrived at the ToJ?

If she got pregnant at Harrenhall (in the last two moons of 281)... and the tower of joy seems to have been at the tail end of 283... it doesn't seem likely a single pregnancy took almost two full years.

However this is almost the exact amount of time it took Elia to have two children. (Side note: Often overlooked is how incredibly dick it was for Rheagar to crown Lyanna when Elia was there and like 8 months pregnant with his kid. I find it incredibly hard to believe she was in on any plot).

It would help explain Lyanna's disappearance if she just found out she was pregnant... (seems about 2-3 months after Harrenhall when she disappears).

It would make the second child closer to 8-9 months than a year younger than the first.

It would help explain why there were Kingsguard at the ToJ if there was already a live son of Rhaegar born there.

I would propose that Lyanna had two children and died giving birth to the second. This explains the timing of her departure, the period of time R+L are missing, and the presence of the Kingsguard at the Tower of Joy while Lyanna is still in her bloody bed.

It also conveniently means that even if Lyanna and Rheagar were not married, Rheagar would have had a chance to see their first child himself. (Opening the possibility that he legitimized him without necessarily being married, after all, if the KG did not run then their presence at the ToJ requires explanation)

 

[Lucius Lovejoy]

@Lollygag nice post, with the modifications by @Lady Blizzardborn it is really plausible to me, but I'm not sure if I'm fully convinced.  I have such a hard time with R+L=J because I didn't get into the series until 2014 or so when it was already accepted as canon, so for me a really satisfying twist would be if Bobby B was telling it true all along - Rhaegar kidnapped and raped Lyanna, and whether or not Jon is her son doesn't matter as much.  This probably clouds my judgment.

@LiveFirstDieLater I like your theory on Lyanna having two children by Rhaegar, it makes more sense timeline wise.

I don't necessarily think that Elia had to be okay with what was going on for Rhaegar to take Lyanna to Dorne - after all, House Dayne is in Dorne so there are other connections.

I'm actually kind of okay if we never get a definitive answer as to what happened, who was involved, and how Rhaegar/Lyanna/Elia/Ned really felt about it.  We probably won't as it is, no other books are ever being released...

[SFDanny]

3 hours ago, Lollygag said:

Thanks for the SSM on the Martells.

I'm thinking that Ned still viewed Robert as a maiden's fantasy or some such in AGOT, so I take it that Lyanna's wishes in regards to Robert went unheard. His own disillusionment with Robert didn't start to take until he became Hand. Not seeing Lyanna's wishes is consistent with Ned having no problem marrying Sansa to Joffrey despite him being awful, and then reassuring Arya with what she never wanted. Ned also did his duty and married as told, so I'm really struggling seeing Ned as being at all sympathetic to Lyanna running off to avoid Robert, and also to Rhaegar for getting involved for this reason, especially given the outcome to the family and to Ned personally. I don't think he'd see Lyanna almost as a saint for this, and his feelings for Rhaegar would be quite different.

I do think avoiding a marriage with Robert could have helped to grease the path towards certain choices where Lyanna was concerned.

Can you think of another way to reconcile your idea with Ned's feelings about Rhaegar & Lyanna?

Here we have a few disagreements.

First, I think we can date Ned's "disillusionment" with Robert to much, much earlier than when Ned becomes the Hand. Ned fights with Robert at Robert's coronation over his acceptance of Tywin's tribute in the form of the mutilated and bloody bodies of Elia, Rhaenys, and Aegon. Robert's response of only seeing "dragonspawn" instead of the bodies of innocent children strikes Ned to the core. We are told they are only reunited in the shared grief of Lyanna's death. I would add, that reunion was also based on Ned's need to hide Jon's origins and make him safe from Robert's "madness" towards all things Targaryen.

Second, I don't think Ned was sympathetic at first to Lyanna refusing to do her family duty and marry whom her father had chosen, but when confronted with Lyanna's fearful plea for Ned to promise to raise and protect Jon as his own son, I think Ned chooses love of his sister over the honor bound commitment he has of fealty to his friend and king, Robert.

I have written an essay link to in my signature, that deals with my thoughts on Ned's character. If you are interested I would suggest reading "part 4" which deals with this question. But the short of it can be summed up with Ned's response to Cersei's question in the Red Keep's Godswood.

Quote

"Tell me, my honorable Lord Eddard, how are you any different from Robert, or me, or Jaime?"

"For a start," said Ned, "I do not kill children." (AGoT 407) bold emphasis added

As I said recently in another thread, this is Ned's touchstone. Not the commitment to unquestioning following of an oath, but the protection of innocents. So, what I'm saying is that Ned starts out with the same position towards Lyanna's opposition to the marriage to Robert, seeing it as her duty to do so, but when confronted with Lyanna's pleas, Ned becomes the Ned we know through the choice he makes.

[Ahl of the House Cutler]

All this talk about the Tower of Joy but in reality we really don't know if whatever happened there happened at all.  Ned was having a fever dream when we hear his description of what took place.  

I think the visions he had aren't what really took place.  Ned and Howland couldn't beat Arthur Dayne so something else had to have went down.

Why would 3 members of the Kingsguard meet 7 rebels in open combat instead of using the tower as a defensive stronghold?  I call BS.

[SFDanny]

2 minutes ago, Ahl of the House Cutler said:

All this talk about the Tower of Joy but in reality we really don't know if whatever happened there happened at all.  Ned was having a fever dream when we hear his description of what took place.  

I think the visions he had aren't what really took place.  Ned and Howland couldn't beat Arthur Dayne so something else had to have went down.

Ned's dream doesn't show him beating Ser Arthur by himself or with Howland's help, but he says outside the dream that if it were not for Howland Reed he would have died at Ser Arthur's hand. That is Ned's waking recounting of the battle, and as such is much more reliable that fan speculation of what could or could not have happened there.

Now, that doesn't mean we should just accept everything within the dream as an accurate retelling of what happened there. I do think, at the minimum we should look at this dream as a recounting of the facts as Ned knows them. By which I mean the dialogue may not have taken place as the dream has it, but it represents the questions Ned still has about why the three men of the Kingsguard were there blocking his way to his sister instead of in the places he says he expected them. The responses of the Kingsguard may well be only what Ned thinks they would have said, but they have important truths that we can verify outside of the dream. All of the events Ned speaks of in the dream take place, and they take place in the right order. And the deaths of the Kingsguard and five of Ned's men are also verified by Ned's thoughts outside of his dreams. So to is Lyanna's death there. The conversation and events Ned has in his dream are not an exact telling of true events obviously. Ned's companions were not wraiths. But what is critical for the reader is that Ned is still asking these questions to these men in his dreams fourteen years later. Martin wants us to ask them ourselves. 

[Ahl of the House Cutler]

8 minutes ago, SFDanny said:

Ned's dream doesn't show him beating Ser Arthur by himself or with Howland's help, but he says outside the dream that if it were not for Howland Reed he would have died at Ser Arthur's hand. That is Ned's waking recounting of the battle, and as such is much more reliable that fan speculation of what could or could not have happened there.

Now, that doesn't mean we should just accept everything within the dream as an accurate retelling of what happened there. I do think, at the minimum we should look at this dream as a recounting of the facts as Ned knows them. By which I mean the dialogue may not have taken place as the dream has it, but it represents the questions Ned still has about why the three men of the Kingsguard were there blocking his way to his sister instead of in the places he says he expected them. The responses of the Kingsguard may well be only what Ned thinks they would have said, but they have important truths that we can verify outside of the dream. All of the events Ned speaks of in the dream take place, and they take place in the right order. And the deaths of the Kingsguard and five of Ned's men are also verified by Ned's thoughts outside of his dreams. So to is Lyanna's death there. The conversation and events Ned has in his dream are not an exact telling of true events obviously. Ned's companions were not wraiths. But what is critical for the reader is that Ned is still asking these questions to these men in his dreams fourteen years later. Martin wants us to ask them ourselves. 

Ned's dream was a fever dream and also influenced by milk of the poppy.

Pretty sure GRRM said himself that fever dreams shouldn't be trusted.  There are only rumors circulating Winterfell that Ned killed Arthur in single combat, but no vision or dream showing that Arthur actually died.  Or ANY of the KG at ToJ died, for that matter.

IMO there was no fight at the Tower of Joy.