Manhole Eunuchsbane

MLB 2017: Jim Rice Tells CC Sabathia to Mix in a Salad

401 posts in this topic

43 minutes ago, Manhole Eunuchsbane said:

Just spit-balling some minor characters to round out the cast of The Eck Files. I was thinking he should have some colorful neighbors. Like say a Mark "The Bird" Fidrych or a Dock Ellis? Kind of a zen Deadhead/burnout who always has some really pertinent and sage advice for the Eck, just when he needs it most.

Assistant PI-in-training after washing out of baseball: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4X8DWTFir4

(He hasn't actually washed out -- but he is running a 40% k rate in his first cup of coffee. He did rake in AAA this year too: https://www.fangraphs.com/statss.aspx?playerid=14735&position=OF)

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9 minutes ago, Week said:

Assistant PI-in-training after washing out of baseball: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4X8DWTFir4

(He hasn't actually washed out -- but he is running a 40% k rate in his first cup of coffee. He did rake in AAA this year too: https://www.fangraphs.com/statss.aspx?playerid=14735&position=OF)

I LIKE IT! A wet behind the ears guy that's constantly getting underfoot and such. Kind of reminds me of Norm Macdonald's Kojack impression.

 

/The 4th of July, Mom's apple pie, SHE'S A HOOKER!

Edited by Manhole Eunuchsbane

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3 hours ago, Manhole Eunuchsbane said:

Just spit-balling some minor characters to round out the cast of The Eck Files. I was thinking he should have some colorful neighbors. Like say a Mark "The Bird" Fidrych or a Dock Ellis? Kind of a zen Deadhead/burnout who always has some really pertinent and sage advice for the Eck, just when he needs it most.

 Seeing how this is set in Miami, we seem to be a little short on the T&A, so I'm going to go with a set of young, hot, ditzy blonde twins who live across the hall. Think like a 2017 version of Audrey and Judy Landers. They could always be dropping hints for the Eck that they're down to turn his frown upside down, but plot complications always provide a last second cock block. 

I was thinking Eck would live and work in the trashier parts of Florida, as Gibby has the PI market cornered in Miami.

Also, Rick Manning could be Eck's recurring nemesis. Once again relying on Magnum for our blueprint, Manning would be an Ivan type character.

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1 minute ago, Myshkin said:

I was thinking Eck would live and work in the trashier parts of Florida, as Gibby has the PI market cornered in Miami.

Also, Rick Manning could be Eck's recurring nemesis. Once again relying on Magnum for our blueprint, Manning would be an Ivan type character.

I like it. So like the Keys or the panhandle, I suppose? 

And HOLY SHIT! I DID NOT KNOW THAT.

Fuck yes this has to be worked in. Nice pull, Gobbo.

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A guy I was friends with throughout school and I played football with for many years just got called up by the Brewers the other day. Weird to think that there is someone playing big league baseball who once touched my taint.

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A Boston team got caught cheating again.  This time:

Quote

"We actually do not have a rule against sign-stealing," Manfred said. "It has been a part of the game for a very, very long time. To the extent that there was a violation of the rule here, it was a violation by one or the other [team] that involved the use of electronic equipment. It's the electronic equipment that creates the violation. I think the rule against electronic equipment has a number of policy reasons behind it, but one of them is we don't want to escalate attempts to figure out what a pitcher is going to throw by introducing electronics into that mix."

...

After MLB corroborated the claims with its own video, the commissioner's office confronted the Red Sox, who admitted that video replay personnel were getting signs and that those were relayed to some players, The Times reported. The scheme had been ongoing for some weeks.

 

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1 hour ago, dmc515 said:

A Boston team got caught cheating again.  This time:

 

That's some dirty shit right there. Stealing signs on the basepaths is part of the game, but non-player personnel using cameras to steal signs is straight up cheating. The Red Sox should be penalized heavily for this. No idea what that penalty would look like, but it has to be big. And I'm not just talking about those replay guys and the assistant trainer getting fired; the whole organization needs to feel the hurt for this.

On a related note; are the 2017 Red Sox the most hateable team ever? They're certainly competing for that honor.

ETA: This would make for a great episode of The Eck Files!

Edited by Myshkin

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1 hour ago, dmc515 said:

A Boston team got caught cheating again.  This time:

 

Ugh, this shit is just embarrassing. This whole organization is dumb in the way that Trump's minions are dumb. Nice touch that "Little Leader" Pedroia was involved.

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19 hours ago, DanteGabriel said:

Ugh, this shit is just embarrassing. This whole organization is dumb in the way that Trump's minions are dumb. Nice touch that "Little Leader" Pedroia was involved.

If you can take a moment to laugh at yourself, you do have to admit that this is pretty funny. 

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3 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

If you can take a moment to laugh at yourself, you do have to admit that this is pretty funny. 

It's hard to have a sense of humor about this team of babies and numbfucks, but sure, the fact that someone was using an Apple watch to cheat was a slice of ridiculousness. Next we'll find out they stole the Cards' signs in 2013 with a Zune.

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5 hours ago, DanteGabriel said:

It's hard to have a sense of humor about this team of babies and numbfucks, but sure, the fact that someone was using an Apple watch to cheat was a slice of ridiculousness. Next we'll find out they stole the Cards' signs in 2013 with a Zune.

I knew it...

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Just wanted to share that I went to Petco a few days ago in San Diego, and it's pretty awesome.  Not the current team that plays there, mind you, but it's a great, modern park.  And it's in such a cool part of town.  Glorious. 

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And of course Dustin Pedroia doesn't understand what the big deal is. Claims it's all part of the game, as if he doesn't understand the difference between a base runner peeking in and non-player personnel using cameras. Pedroia just seems like the worst kind of scumbag. 

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4 minutes ago, Triskan said:

Just wanted to share that I went to Petco a few days ago in San Diego, and it's pretty awesome.  Not the current team that plays there, mind you, but it's a great, modern park.  And it's in such a cool part of town.  Glorious. 

Don't tell me you were there on Saturday

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23 minutes ago, Myshkin said:

Don't tell me you were there on Saturday

Nay.  'Twas Monday with the Cards in town.  

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9 minutes ago, Triskan said:

Nay.  'Twas Monday with the Cards in town.  

Meet me in San Diego, Diego. Doesn't have quite the same ring to it, but it works in a pinch.

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On 9/5/2017 at 7:16 PM, Myshkin said:

That's some dirty shit right there. Stealing signs on the basepaths is part of the game, but non-player personnel using cameras to steal signs is straight up cheating. The Red Sox should be penalized heavily for this. No idea what that penalty would look like, but it has to be big. And I'm not just talking about those replay guys and the assistant trainer getting fired; the whole organization needs to feel the hurt for this.

On a related note; are the 2017 Red Sox the most hateable team ever? They're certainly competing for that honor.

ETA: This would make for a great episode of The Eck Files!

I think we have the plotline for our pilot! Now we just need an episode title and a guest star.

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43 minutes ago, Manhole Eunuchsbane said:

I think we have the plotline for our pilot! Now we just need an episode title and a guest star.

All episode titles should be wordplay based around "Eck". Title for the pilot could be something like "Lies and Eck-scuses".

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It's September and the Twins are in still in the playoff hunt. :blink:

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2 hours ago, Tywin et al. said:

It's September and the Twins are in still in the playoff hunt. :blink:

 

I am even more confused than you.  I am enjoying the bizarre run they are making, and thankful that I am not back home to hear my brother cynisize* about it every time we chat.

 

*Screw you, Chrome.  It's my language, I'll verb** whatever I want.

**Thank you Calvin/Bill

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