NFL 2017 Week 3: Now Panic Begins!

[Rhom]

When last we saw our topic:  @Pony Queen Jace Is auditioning to take James McAndrews' place as the preeminent voice in American Sports Medicine.  @sperry has a voodoo hex ability.  @Tywin et al. is checking to see if "Factory of Sadness" has been copyrighted yet and therefore available for use in the land of lakes.

Elsewhere.  Kaepernick.  Elliott.  Wash Rinse Repeat.

Oh.  And we have Eli vs Stafford tonight.  Good thing we kept GB v Atl as the undercard last night.

Discuss.

[Rhom]

Looking at the upcoming schedule, I'm happy I will be able to actually watch the Niners play a nationally televised game on Thursday.

However, I fully recognize that Niners v Rams is the sort of TNF match up that will give legitimate arguments to those who say Thursday Night games are a travesty.

[Bronn Stone]

7 minutes ago, Rhom said:

Looking at the upcoming schedule, I'm happy I will be able to actually watch the Niners play a nationally televised game on Thursday.

However, I fully recognize that Niners v Rams is the sort of TNF match up that will give legitimate arguments to those who say Thursday Night games are a travesty.

Both are among the top 5 football teams in the state of California!

[James Arryn]

1 hour ago, Bronn Stone said:

Both are among the top 5 professional American football teams in the state of California!

FTFY.

[Ramsay B.]

I've had a lingering headace all day and Eli and company look to make it that much worse. What a start, guys.

[Rhom]

22 minutes ago, James Arryn said:

FTFY.

Hey... when the Raiders move to Vegas, both teams will be legit top three.

[Jace, Extat]

43 minutes ago, Rhom said:

Hey... when the Raiders move to Vegas, both teams will be legit top three.

You're ignoring USC. Which outdrew the Rams and Chargers combined yesterday.

[Jace, Extat]

4 hours ago, James Arryn said:

Football Reasons!

 

Also, who coined Posen' for Rosen? I'm taking it. Honestly love the way he quarterbacks.

Dude, they lost to fucking Memphis and he bears a heavy share of the blame.

[Ramsay B.]

Eli is fucking terrified out there. He wasn't even touched last sack. 

ETA: I officially hate McAdoo. Fuck this team.

[briantw]

The Giants fans have already turned on their team two games into the season.  

[KingintheNorth4]

I guess this proves without any doubt that Eli was carried to his Super Bowl victories behind good defense, stout offensive, and receiving corps.

[sperry]

Why does Jim Caldwell get so much shit? Dude is constantly thrown out there as a guy who is on the hot seat, yet has 4 playoff appearances in 6 seasons , went to a super bowl, and has teams that are always competitive.

[Rhom]

Just now, sperry said:

Why does Jim Caldwell get so much shit? Dude is constantly thrown out there as a guy who is on the hot seat, yet has 4 playoff appearances in 6 seasons , went to a super bowl, and has teams that are always competitive.

And is looking good in Detroit...  That right there should qualify him for Hall of Fame status.

Seriously though, I agree.  He gets a lot of flack for being perceived as a lacky riding Peyton Manning's offensive genius to success and then gets blamed because the Colts literally had nothing on the roster when Peyton went down.

[Ramsay B.]

1 hour ago, briantw said:

The Giants fans have already turned on their team two games into the season.  

Yup. Scoring 13 total points in two games against average defenses will do that to you. Especially considering they have somehow regressed from last years stale and mind numbingly predictable mess of an offense, despite adding more talent. 

They knew the O-line was the major issue and they chose to completely ignore it which angered many before the season even started.

1 hour ago, KingintheNorth4 said:

I guess this proves without any doubt that Eli was carried to his Super Bowl victories behind good defense, stout offensive, and receiving corps.

He still has 2 rings. Who cares?

[Rockroi]

So, another week down and I could discuss a lot but I want to explain something that happened in the Pats game and then compare it to a near identical situation in another game.  And it’s a perfect encapsulation as to why the Pats could have every player on an HGH cocktail powered by jet fuel and alligator sperm while its QB threw underinflated footballs while its head coach used CIA drones to tape every other team and that WOULD STILL not be NEARLY the competitive advantage the Pats have in shear competency.  

In the Pats game, NE was driving on the Saints after the two-minute warning, up 27-13.  This was a big lead but not an insurmountable one.  With 21 seconds left, 3rd and 9, no time outs, the Pats were on the Saints 17 and called for a pass play.  Brady was flushed from the pocket and was tackled at the Saints 10.  Now 4th down, the clock at THIRTEEN SECONDS, the Pats could not clock the ball with a spike and could not call TO. Immediately Brady starts running for the side lines as the coaches and some players start yelling “MAY DAY!!!”  This is the code word for a rushed FG.  Immediately, as the clock ticks down, the offense rushed OFF the field while the FG unit rushes ON the field.  Some players stay, but most switch.  Miraculously, the Pats line-up 11 players, get them set, avoid any illegal shifts or off-sides or illegal procedures while they simultaneously get off the remaining offensive players and successfully kick a quick 28-yard field goal.  With no time left.  

Was that the difference maker in the game?  No- Pats dominated from back to front.  But it DID get the Pats a quick score to break up the half, keep the momentum etc.  But the real lesson was that the Pats have their collective shit together; that they can execute fast, on the fly and do it with precision, on the road, and do it flawlessly.  

Now, most teams can do this, right?  

WELL… in a game played on the other side of the country but might as well have been played on another planet, two teams managed to hate-fuck the game of football for nearly 60 minutes.  The criminally incompetent LA Chargers were still in the game because the Miami Dolphins employed something called “Jay Cutler.”  Anyway, in a game that was played with moderate competency enough to not want to make every fan of both teams jump into a respective ocean near their homes, the Chargers were driving with less than a minute to go, down by two with Miami barely hanging onto a lead.  The Chargers had already blown through 2 of their timeouts when they, inexplicably, blew their last TO when they EASILY could have clocked the ball.  Whatever.  

The next play Rivers runs a meaningless dive into the center of the line to try to line up the FG.  But here is the problem- the Chargers have NO time outs.  So LA starts running their FG unit ON the field as … NOBODY starts running off it.  So you have 12… 13… fuck it 28 Chargers were on that fucking field.  And the clock is ticking ticking ticking and ticking because NOBODY BOTHERED TO EVER PRACTICE THIS!  And nobody bothered to MENTION DURING THE PRIOR TIMEOUT THAT RIVERS MAY DIVE INTO THE CENTER OF THE LINE AND MAYBE - JUST FUCKING MAYBE - THE FG AND OFFENSE MAY NEED TO SWITCH PLACES!!! 

So the clock runs mercilessly down and down and down and nobody on the Chargers has any fucking idea how to kick a field goal or evacuate the offense. 

So, end of game due to severe incompetency, right?  

WRONG!  Because as this monstrosity is going on somebody must have said “There is no team more incompetent than the Chargers.”  
And in fucking unison the Miami Dolphins asked all NFL fans “Hold my beer.”  

Because the Dolphins called Time Out.  Why?  FUCK IF I KNOW!!!  

The Dolphins bailed out the Chargers because the Dolphins needed to win the battle of “Who Can Fuck Up a Last Second Field Goal” pool!  Because Miami called a TO that meant the Chargers could carefully and EASILY line up to kick a long FG.  No rushing, no fast substitutions, nothing but a simple normal FG because the other team fucked up and SAVED YOU FROM YOUR AMAZING FUCK UP!  

The Chargers then immediately miss the FG.  Because of course they did. 

How many teams in the NFL do you think can run that sort of fast drill to kick a quick, half-ending FG?  The Pats are one.  Is there another team you trust to do that? 

Anyway a few other quick thoughts:
-    Just quickly on the Pats: dominated a team that could have given them problems but the Pats are ahead of most teams.  The Saints D is poop and Brady destroys those teams.  The Saints O played okay but I think they should have done better against a depleted Pats D. Also, the Pats are rapidly approaching “snake bit” territory with injuries.  At one point, they LITERALLY had no WRs to put on the field.  
-    Dallas and GB just got destroyed by two teams they should have hung with. 
-    Atlanta looks desperately for real and that’s frightening.  Also, surprise that the best division so far is the AFC West as Oakland, Denver and KC are all 2-0 and all look fearsome. 
-    Somebody fire Marvin Lewis, 
-    I feel bad for Jacoby Brisett who started the game, played okay and then fucked his team in OT with a game-killing INT. Sorry about all that, Indy but it all sucks.  
-    I am fairly certain Seattle sucks.  That line sucks, Wilson looks hapless and the D may be at the end of their rope.  They are frustrated for having to cover for a wilting Offense.  And their discipline is leaving a lot to be desired.  And they won, but they BARELY beat SF. So that’s almost like losing.  I think for the first time in 4 seasons, I am not afraid of the Seahawks. 
-    The Bears blow.
-    Fuck the Jets.

Pats need to put a few together to get the taste of KC out of their mouths.  
 

[DireWolfSpirit]

Fun seeing some legit speed in the Honolulu Blue (Lions) for a change. J. Agnew shows his 4.34 forty speed on a 88 yd. return.

Two fun weeks of football for Lions fans, now we get the Falcons next, reality bout to collide.

Other observation, Chicago Bears .......jeezus that QB makes Joey Harrington look good...ouch!

[Jace, Extat]

2 hours ago, Rockroi said:

So, another week down and I could discuss a lot but I want to explain something that happened in the Pats game and then compare it to a near identical situation in another game.  And it’s a perfect encapsulation as to why the Pats could have every player on an HGH cocktail powered by jet fuel and alligator sperm while its QB threw underinflated footballs while its head coach used CIA drones to tape every other team and that WOULD STILL not be NEARLY the competitive advantage the Pats have in shear competency.  

In the Pats game, NE was driving on the Saints after the two-minute warning, up 27-13.  This was a big lead but not an insurmountable one.  With 21 seconds left, 3rd and 9, no time outs, the Pats were on the Saints 17 and called for a pass play.  Brady was flushed from the pocket and was tackled at the Saints 10.  Now 4th down, the clock at THIRTEEN SECONDS, the Pats could not clock the ball with a spike and could not call TO. Immediately Brady starts running for the side lines as the coaches and some players start yelling “MAY DAY!!!”  This is the code word for a rushed FG.  Immediately, as the clock ticks down, the offense rushed OFF the field while the FG unit rushes ON the field.  Some players stay, but most switch.  Miraculously, the Pats line-up 11 players, get them set, avoid any illegal shifts or off-sides or illegal procedures while they simultaneously get off the remaining offensive players and successfully kick a quick 28-yard field goal.  With no time left.  

Was that the difference maker in the game?  No- Pats dominated from back to front.  But it DID get the Pats a quick score to break up the half, keep the momentum etc.  But the real lesson was that the Pats have their collective shit together; that they can execute fast, on the fly and do it with precision, on the road, and do it flawlessly.  

Now, most teams can do this, right?  

WELL… in a game played on the other side of the country but might as well have been played on another planet, two teams managed to hate-fuck the game of football for nearly 60 minutes.  The criminally incompetent LA Chargers were still in the game because the Miami Dolphins employed something called “Jay Cutler.”  Anyway, in a game that was played with moderate competency enough to not want to make every fan of both teams jump into a respective ocean near their homes, the Chargers were driving with less than a minute to go, down by two with Miami barely hanging onto a lead.  The Chargers had already blown through 2 of their timeouts when they, inexplicably, blew their last TO when they EASILY could have clocked the ball.  Whatever.  

The next play Rivers runs a meaningless dive into the center of the line to try to line up the FG.  But here is the problem- the Chargers have NO time outs.  So LA starts running their FG unit ON the field as … NOBODY starts running off it.  So you have 12… 13… fuck it 28 Chargers were on that fucking field.  And the clock is ticking ticking ticking and ticking because NOBODY BOTHERED TO EVER PRACTICE THIS!  And nobody bothered to MENTION DURING THE PRIOR TIMEOUT THAT RIVERS MAY DIVE INTO THE CENTER OF THE LINE AND MAYBE - JUST FUCKING MAYBE - THE FG AND OFFENSE MAY NEED TO SWITCH PLACES!!! 

So the clock runs mercilessly down and down and down and nobody on the Chargers has any fucking idea how to kick a field goal or evacuate the offense. 

So, end of game due to severe incompetency, right?  

WRONG!  Because as this monstrosity is going on somebody must have said “There is no team more incompetent than the Chargers.”  
And in fucking unison the Miami Dolphins asked all NFL fans “Hold my beer.”  

Because the Dolphins called Time Out.  Why?  FUCK IF I KNOW!!!  

The Dolphins bailed out the Chargers because the Dolphins needed to win the battle of “Who Can Fuck Up a Last Second Field Goal” pool!  Because Miami called a TO that meant the Chargers could carefully and EASILY line up to kick a long FG.  No rushing, no fast substitutions, nothing but a simple normal FG because the other team fucked up and SAVED YOU FROM YOUR AMAZING FUCK UP!  

The Chargers then immediately miss the FG.  Because of course they did. 

How many teams in the NFL do you think can run that sort of fast drill to kick a quick, half-ending FG?  The Pats are one.  Is there another team you trust to do that? 

Anyway a few other quick thoughts:
-    Just quickly on the Pats: dominated a team that could have given them problems but the Pats are ahead of most teams.  The Saints D is poop and Brady destroys those teams.  The Saints O played okay but I think they should have done better against a depleted Pats D. Also, the Pats are rapidly approaching “snake bit” territory with injuries.  At one point, they LITERALLY had no WRs to put on the field.  
-    Dallas and GB just got destroyed by two teams they should have hung with. 
-    Atlanta looks desperately for real and that’s frightening.  Also, surprise that the best division so far is the AFC West as Oakland, Denver and KC are all 2-0 and all look fearsome. 
-    Somebody fire Marvin Lewis, 
-    I feel bad for Jacoby Brisett who started the game, played okay and then fucked his team in OT with a game-killing INT. Sorry about all that, Indy but it all sucks.  
-    I am fairly certain Seattle sucks.  That line sucks, Wilson looks hapless and the D may be at the end of their rope.  They are frustrated for having to cover for a wilting Offense.  And their discipline is leaving a lot to be desired.  And they won, but they BARELY beat SF. So that’s almost like losing.  I think for the first time in 4 seasons, I am not afraid of the Seahawks. 
-    The Bears blow.
-    Fuck the Jets.

Pats need to put a few together to get the taste of KC out of their mouths.  
 

Great to see you, LoveRock. And good point about the rushing the FG team on, I noticed at the time how well coordinated it was.

17 years ago, I would watch my highschool team practice that exact situation every Thursday (the walkthrough before game day). And on Wednesday my dad (the O-coordinator) would at random drop the ball somewhere around the 20 and shout 'FIELD GOAL' and wherever the FG 1's were they had 14 seconds to get onto the field, get set, and kick. The FG 2's had to be around 15 yards behind ready to snap and kick simultaneously (the kick just had to go straight for those guys), and everyone had to be on the sideline appropriate for whether we were the visiting or home team that week.

That was for high school. Almost 20 years ago, and I too have noticed the degree of difficulty pro teams have displayed with these simple concepts. Now for the most part, you see this situation 4 or 5 times a year and it's handled well enough that the kick gets off the ground. But then you see shit like the Dolphins-Chargers debacle (another one I was watching live), and it's fucking disgusting. I honestly don't even care if they didn't practice it (I do), the players at the NFL level should know the situation and what to do on their own.

And seriously, I think Jacoby Brisette is really good at football. He has 2 weeks of practice and the shittiest roster in the league.

[Rhom]

Parking for the Chargers' home opener cost $100

 

In a soccer stadium they didn't fill.  Talk about not "getting it."  With more and more moves like these, I really feel like we reached peak football for my lifetime a couple years ago and it will be all downhill from here.

[sperry]

1 hour ago, Rhom said:

Parking for the Chargers' home opener cost $100

 

In a soccer stadium they didn't fill.  Talk about not "getting it."  With more and more moves like these, I really feel like we reached peak football for my lifetime a couple years ago and it will be all downhill from here.

 

NFL owners are stupid. Aside from Khan and Paul Allen they all fit this bill:  either first generation owners in their 80s and 90s, or middle aged guys who inherited the teams from their families. For the most part, these people aren't fit to manage an Arby's. Not sure how the NFL fixes this problem, either. The one silver lining is that Goodell is likely done. Pissed off the two most powerful owners in the league, combined with tanking ratings.

 

The choice for his replacement is obvious, too: Condy Rice. Conservative black woman. What group is going to be pissed at that selection, aside from alt-right racist/mysoginists (who are also low-income consumers that no one cares about).

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

14 hours ago, Rhom said:

When last we saw our topic:  @Pony Queen Jace Is auditioning to take James McAndrews' place as the preeminent voice in American Sports Medicine.  @sperry has a voodoo hex ability.  @Tywin et al. is checking to see if "Factory of Sadness" has been copyrighted yet and therefore available for use in the land of lakes.

Elsewhere.  Kaepernick.  Elliott.  Wash Rinse Repeat.

Oh.  And we have Eli vs Stafford tonight.  Good thing we kept GB v Atl as the undercard last night.

Discuss.

Just to be clear, Sperry only has the power to hex former Sooners. And your Niners are much more qualified to assume that nickname.