Hivemind, I Need Your Advice!

[Mlle. Zabzie]

4 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

Oh yeah, I’m definitely on the hunt. I actually already was, but it was kind of passive. That’s about to change.

MZ-The financial situation is fine. I’m very close to my goal for saving up to go to grad or law school ($32,5000), and I can dip into that if need be. I’ve still got two years to save up more so a few months without a pay check won’t be the end of the world.

I don’t think that would make a difference. This feels like a retribution situation.

Ok good. So you got options.  I think it is funny how many places don't just give off the Friday.  I mean it's kind of silly honestly, just like it's kinda silly that we have this holiday on a Thursday.

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

1 hour ago, Mlle. Zabzie said:

Ok good. So you got options.  I think it is funny how many places don't just give off the Friday.  I mean it's kind of silly honestly, just like it's kinda silly that we have this holiday on a Thursday.

Yeah, it makes no sense.

Also, I just learned that this is 100% a case of managerial retribution. The top boss who hates me specifically blocked my trip. This is a person who just lost her father a few months ago and knows the details of why I need to go to California.  

[Iskaral Pust]

5 hours ago, lessthanluke said:

Did you miss the part where it might be his LAST birthday? Its only a job, far more important things in life.

 

5 hours ago, r'hllor's redrum lobster said:

except, yknow, until he can't, which seemed to be an important part of tywins op. 

 

I was more thinking that he could've visited him already any time earlier in the year when vacation time was available.  Or if Black Friday is a difficult day then visiting the week after Thanksgiving could be easier.  I'm not saying he should wait until next year.   

I get that this is a specific big event, and I didn't want it to sound like a chastisement, but you can separate visiting the grandfather from the timing of this party event, which unfortunately coincides with a major holiday.  I thought the urgency was seeing the grandfather before he passes away, not necessarily seeing all the rest of the extended family because that's no different from anyone else's request for holiday time off in any given year. 

I doubt though that alternate timing is the solution the OP wants.  That's why I led with "I think you're on a collision course". 

[MercenaryChef]

I am a boss who writes schedules. I can see the situation your boss is presented with here. I hand out the full calendar of blackout days at the end of the previous year so everyone knows when you just cannot take time off. 

but, i am also not a monster and would give you the time off. unless your absence would truly harm the business and nobody else at all could cover it he should be a human on this. 

fuck the place. try to talk sense to him.  if fails tell him to kick rocks. 

[Xray the Enforcer]

I'd go to your grandfather's birthday and if your boss gives you trouble then tell them to eat shit. I'd also tell your boss's boss why you're leaving: incompetence and retaliatory behavior. Might as well try to get her fired while you're at it.

[Joe Pesci]

Have you given any thought to going over her head if that's a possibility? You can present your reasons for needing the day off to her superior if there is one. Seems like you've scorched the earth with her already, might as well finish the job. If not, fuck it, go see him. If you don't really need the job, you can always find some temporary employment during the holidays while continuing to look for a new gig. Having lost my dad last year, I'd say it's well worth it to go see him and all your family gathered in one place, never know if it's the last time for it at his age. Hope it works out for ya man.

[IamMe90]

11 hours ago, Tywin et al. said:

Yeah, it makes no sense.

Also, I just learned that this is 100% a case of managerial retribution. The top boss who hates me specifically blocked my trip. This is a person who just lost her father a few months ago and knows the details of why I need to go to California.  

If you feel reasonably certain that you are correct in your diagnosis of the situation, and you are also reasonably certain that you will be leaving this job regardless, I would make a point of doing what @Joe Pesci suggested. Go over the asshole's head, present your take on the situation and any evidence you may have to corroborate it, and at the very least, attempt to get this fucker out of a managerial position. It sounds like to me, if you do have to leave over this, it's going to be in a manner that will pretty much inevitably burn bridges, so you might as well do what you can to stop this person from doing this kinda shit again to someone else.

[DMC]

I think many have already given you sage advice on going over your boss' head.

More importantly, I think you should focus more on filling out poly sci PhD apps as deadlines are approaching!  I'll help!   

[OldGimletEye]

On 10/27/2017 at 9:23 AM, Tywin et al. said:

 Buy the tickets and just skip work and deal with the consequences? 

Personally, I wouldn't do this. I put a pretty big premium on reliability. And I think its important to have that reputation, one that shouldn't be given up easily. If I say, I'm going to be at work, then I'm going to be there.

I don't know your circumstances, but if you think seeing your grandfather on his birthday is important, and I'd imagine, it would be, I'd simply tell my boss what I intend to do, before I do it and why I'm doing it and he can do whatever he thinks is necessary. The boss can curse my name if he likes, but at least he knows I don't do bullshit. 

 

[baxus]

But the thing is, Tywin did not say he'd be at work on Thanksgiving Friday. He's requested a day off months in advance and has objected when told he can't have it.

 

[Theda Baratheon]

18 hours ago, Tywin et al. said:

Oh yeah, I’m definitely on the hunt. I actually already was, but it was kind of passive. That’s about to change.

MZ-The financial situation is fine. I’m very close to my goal for saving up to go to grad or law school ($32,5000), and I can dip into that if need be. I’ve still got two years to save up more so a few months without a pay check won’t be the end of the world.

I don’t think that would make a difference. This feels like a retribution situation.

If you're financially stable I'd 100% prioritise family and a big family get together and to see your grandfather over a toxic work environment like that. Jobs can be found again - family can't.  

[Theda Baratheon]

20 minutes ago, baxus said:

But the thing is, Tywin did not say he'd be at work on Thanksgiving Friday. He's requested a day off months in advance and has objected when told he can't have it.

 

Yeah.  He firmly said months in advance I can not work this day.

 

Tywin...If you have a boss that's this vengeful then the job isn't worth it anyway.  I can't leave a shitty job because I need the money but as you have quite a bit of savings then you're not in quite the same position and family definitely mean more than a toxic job with a terrible boss. 

[OldGimletEye]

On 10/28/2017 at 9:11 AM, baxus said:

But the thing is, Tywin did not say he'd be at work on Thanksgiving Friday. He's requested a day off months in advance and has objected when told he can't have it.

 

Generally, I do my best to avoid cheese dickery.
And, generally, playing semantic games is cheese dickery.
Sure, one can say, "but, but, I didn't say I'd be on work Friday", but you didn't exactly make it clear you wouldn't, perhaps leaving one with the impression you would. I'd just rather be more clear about the situation.
Maybe, that's just me.
 

[Theda Baratheon]

4 minutes ago, OldGimletEye said:

Generally, I do my best to avoid cheese dickery.
And, generally, playing semantic games is cheese dickery.
Sure, one can say, "but, but, I didn't say I'd be on work Friday", but you didn't exactly make it clear you wouldn't, perhaps leaving one with the impression you would. I'd just rather be more clear about the situation.
Maybe, that's just me.
 

I feel like he did make it clear though lol. Like this was well rstablished that this was a day he could not do. 

[OldGimletEye]

On 10/28/2017 at 9:42 AM, Theda Baratheon said:

I feel like he did make it clear though lol. Like this was well rstablished that this was a day he could not do. 

Here is what he wrote:

Quote

Buy the tickets and just skip work and deal with the consequences?

Maybe what he meant here is "Buy the tickets and go and let my boss know I won't be there." And if that is what he meant then fine. Works for me.

But, I don't think so. It seems what was meant here or how at least how I initially read it was: "Buy the ticket, not show up to work and not tell my boss what I intend", which might leave the boss the impression he's going to be there. And if that was what was meant, I just don't think it's the right way to handle it. I'd make it clear to the boss what I intend to do, leaving him under no false impression what I'm going to do. It's hard to build credibility and with one false move, you can destroy it in a second.

[Xray the Enforcer]

a pox on this "reliability" noise. The boss already broke that compact by denying leave that was requested months in advance for retributive reasons. If anyone should be saddled with the "unreliable" moniker, it's Tywin's boss.

[DireWolfSpirit]

Go see your Grandfather!

[Theda Baratheon]

2 hours ago, Xray the Enforcer said:

a pox on this "reliability" noise. The boss already broke that compact by denying leave that was requested months in advance for retributive reasons. If anyone should be saddled with the "unreliable" moniker, it's Tywin's boss.

Agreed. I don't see how this behaviour from th boss could ever be seen as okay or normal. 

[baxus]

20 hours ago, OldGimletEye said:

Generally, I do my best to avoid cheese dickery.
And, generally, playing semantic games is cheese dickery.
Sure, one can say, "but, but, I didn't say I'd be on work Friday", but you didn't exactly make it clear you wouldn't, perhaps leaving one with the impression you would. I'd just rather be more clear about the situation.
Maybe, that's just me.

If you think it's a matter of semantics or that Tywin could've been more clear about the situation, you do need to go back to the top of the thread and read the whole thing.

There is no doubt that Tywin did everything he could to notify his employers that he needs that day off.

Sure, he didn't say that he will take that day off no matter what, but from all the info we have, that would definitely not be an unreasonable reaction.

[OldGimletEye]

On 10/29/2017 at 6:27 AM, baxus said:

If you think it's a matter of semantics or that Tywin could've been more clear about the situation, you do need to go back to the top of the thread and read the whole thing.

There is no doubt that Tywin did everything he could to notify his employers that he needs that day off.

Sure, he didn't say that he will take that day off no matter what, but from all the info we have, that would definitely not be an unreasonable reaction.

I did read the whole thing. And it doesn't suggest that he told his boss that he definitely won't be there.

If he simply acquiesces to the boss's decision, the boss might rightly think he'll be there. The whole point of his post was what he should do, after being told by the boss he can't have the day off.

Look, I think the boss's action is a load of crap. And I think this boss is a very poor leader. If I were in the same boat, I'd be looking for other employment and would leave just as soon as was practicable. And let that manager or boss know exactly why I was leaving and would likely have some choice words about their leadership style and would probably even enjoy watching them squirm a bit as let them know what I thought about their leadership style.

But for me, promising to the boss that I'm going to be at work, whether that promise is just implied, and not explicit, because I seemingly acquiesced to the boss's decision, when I absolutely have no intention of being at work on the day in question is just to me the wrong way to go and I'd try to avoid it.