The Rules of Being a Woman

[litechick]

I'm good at what they call 'book learning' but not good with the unwritten rules of life.  At 46 years old, I still struggle with these unwritten rules.  I would like to compile a guide for the naive based on the unwritten rules of society.

This is all based on my experience and observation so I have no doubt that my rules will seem outrageous to others.  Still, you've got to do what works best for you.

#1--Show no skin.  No matter how nice it is to feel wind and sun on your shoulders, any exposed skin is perceived as an invitation to ogle or some kind of vanity.  It is Not OK to just enjoy bodily freedom, if you are showing skin you will be judged in unsavory ways by both sexes.

#2--Sex=Love--Do Not Deviate.  My females friends understood this far earlier than me--you can have sex with as many guys as you like as long as you fall in love with every one of them.  All you have to do is say 'I think he could be the One' and you're covered.  People may think you are stupid and naive but they will not call you a slut.  Sluts are women who have sex just for fun and pleasure.

#3--Hair Restraint.  I keep a pony tail 98% of the time because I can't stop flipping it around and messing with it.  Hair fiddling = attention-seeking, all will judge you.

#4--Defense.  You can dress modestly and stay on your guard but if a strange man approaches you and you are defensive, that makes you a bitch.  That man plays the victim, 'why would you throat punch me?  I'm a nice guy' but if you get assaulted you will not only be assaulted but people will say 'why didn't you defend yourself?'  One must cultivate the art of being casual yet formidable.

#5--Diplomacy.  Socially men are expected to make the first move and that is a rough assignment if you consider that we all fear rejection.  Nevertheless,when a guy makes the first move and it is unwelcome, women can't just say 'go fly a kite' we have to reject a man with compassion and consideration so that he doesn't slit our tires or stalk us.  There could be an entire other thread about how to reject a man without inciting hatred.

I hope that others will add to the list from their own experience but I do not deceive myself. 

[Elder Sister]

Woman rules

#1 – When a man repeats what you just said, stating, “I just said that,” will earn you a hurt look of confusion and a reputation as a difficult personality.  Smiling and nodding is the only acceptable response.

#2 – Be prepared to have limited to no ability to speak in meetings where you are one of (or the only) a few females, unless you speak above everyone, which labels you as difficult.  Also, yelling is unacceptable.  A man may get surly/argumentative/disgruntled.  This is acceptable.  A woman who does this is labeled difficult.  Also, see rule #1 for how to react when you do get to speak.

#3 – Welcome mansplaining.  Women are traditionally seen as ‘slow on the uptake’.  Don’t take it personally when a man explains something you already know, and try not to be insulted when they get it wrong, even though you have more experience and knowledge about the topic.    Also, don’t correct them when their mansplaining is woefully incorrect.  See rule #1.

#4 – The fact that you are physically smaller and have less upper body strength than men doesn’t matter.  You should never feel threatened, afraid, or nervous when a man is screaming and hollering.  See rule #1.

#5 – Being nice to men is flirting, which equates to being available for whatever. 

#6 – Not being nice to men means you are difficult (bitchy), frigid, gay, or all three. 

#7 - Your job is to be the facilitator.  The men are the leaders.  Accept this and don’t rock the boat.  Boat rockers are perceived as difficult.

#8- When passed over, discounted, forgotten;  accept it.  This is your lot as a woman.  You are not going to be treated equally to men.  Get over it.

#9- If you complain about sexual harassment, or offensive language, or anything similar, you are a prude and possibly a liar. You might also lose your job.  Get over it.

#10 – You get to become old and unattractive, and not sexy.  Men get to become Hugh Hefner.  Get over it and refer to Rule #1.

#11 – Your looks are extremely important.  They’re how you are judged, graded, chosen.  And when you begin to age, you’d better be prepared to become invisible. 

 

[Robin Of House Hill]

"

1. Technically, you may wear whatever you choose, but we strongly suggest (mostly through market saturation) that you wear clothes that are: pink, ruffled, cheaply made, and promote messages such as "Princess Diva," "Math is Hard!" or "I'm Too Pretty to Work." Once you reach the age of 8, you will be expected to sex it up, with the peek-a-boo clothing, heels, and miniskirts that are widely available in your demographic. Make-up by the age of 13 is a requirement. Remember this at Halloween: sexy nurse, sexy kitten, sexy taxidermist. If it has ‘sexy' in the title, it's the right kind of costume.

2. Your weight is not your own business – it is everyone's business. You will be expected to conform to whatever standards society sets for you to look presentable and datable at any age. Deviations from this range, whether too skinny or too fat, will be subject to societal repercussions and punishments. Remember, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels! And also, just eat a sandwich already if we can't see any boobs or hips. You need to look GOOD.

 

3. It is your responsibility to deter men from violating you in any fashion. Therefore, although you are required to look GOOD, you are also required to not look so good as to attract too much attention to yourself. Society, while recognizing the inherent hypocrisy in this double standard, is in no way responsible for fixing it. It is up to you to not wear, say, or do anything that would get you into trouble. There is a fine line between sexy and SEXY and you need to stay on the sexy side. You'll need to figure out the difference for yourselves, though.

4. Should you need health care, America is here for you, so long as your requirements mostly adhere to health problems that are also covered for men, such as: common cold or flu, high-blood pressure or cholesterol, rotator cuff injuries, erectile dysfunction, prostate cancer. Breast exams are also covered (gotta keep them looking good as well). For reproductive issues such as birth control or abortions: move to Canada. Remember, it is your responsibility to deter men from violating you in any fashion, and that includes getting you pregnant. Incest, rape, or life-threatening illness due to pregnancy does not count, even if you are married. You might be gestating the next President,* after all! (*currently only applies if fetus is male)

5. You can be anything you want to be. In order to do this, you will need to work twice as hard in school, attend the best colleges and universities, spend long hours away from your children, should you choose to have them as well as a career, and do the same job for less than the men in your field. (We said you could be anything you want to be, we didn't say you would get fairly compensated for it.)"

[Lily Valley]

1.  Never complain that you have few good role models.  You have plenty.  You have the Virgin Mother and Gwyneth Paltrow.  In ancient times, you had Aphrodite (Venus) which is still revered in all societies in her appropriate form.   If you want a "strong" role model, you need to look no further than the Hag, Harpy or Banshee.  All have survived today in modern vernacular.  See?  You are appreciated.

2.  Don't complain that you "have to do" all the dull unpaid work.  You are naturally better at all of it.  Socks are never as clean as when you do them.  I don't know what that "magic lady touch" is.  It's just biology.  See?  You're appreciated.

3.  Stop complaining about earning less pay.  In caveman times, women stayed home in their caves while men did all the hunting.  You can't overcome evolution in, like, 50 years.  It's SCIENCE.  Be happy you are allowed to fumble around at all at work.  WE should be paid to put up with YOU.  If we didn't like looking at your boobs at work, you wouldn't be there at all.  See?  You're appreciated.

 

[desire]

You have seemed to splashed bodily fluids on the toilet seat again

[Darth Richard II]

This thread makes me sad cause I know there are people who will read it and agree non ironically .

[Theda Baratheon]

You have to accept that you will be sexualised from a young age. You'll also be punished for that. But your actual sexual desire/sexuality/sexual expression will be seen as something grotesque and vulgar. 

[rocksniffer]

<stumbles in...then leaves shamefaced, before he can be noticed>

[mankytoes]

The rule for men- don't enforce the above. Remember the Golden rule- if you can, so can she.

[Buckwheat]

I do not abide by almost any of these. I feel horribly un-woman now.

[Theda Baratheon]

8 hours ago, Buckwheat said:

I do not abide by almost any of these. I feel horribly un-woman now.

Feel proud instead <3

[Buckwheat]

49 minutes ago, Theda Baratheon said:

Feel proud instead <3

Heh! Thank you. Sometimes when I read these threads, it almost makes me think that I must have been raised as a boy. As in, I was literally never told and it was never hinted to me by any authority figure that math was supposed to be harder to me, that I need to only look good or that I need to take care of my behaviour else I might be sexually harrassed or worse. Or any of that stuff.