In A Land of Gods and Monsters

[Sivin]

I was a Sheppard. 

PART ONE: Flithering 

    I was sitting at the bar of an Applebees when he first showed up. Maybe it was the inherent air of loneliness and self-loathing that always permeates such places, I don’t know. But either way I didn’t feel his approach. Most likely it was the smell of the backed up toilets that masked the nauseating stabs of abdominal pain that usually accompanied the creature’s approach.

    “Why the frown, uplander?” Bannon asked as his sinister bulk settled fluidly onto the stool to my left.

    I tried to keep my heart from beating out of my chest when I carefully looked towards those malicious eyes.

    “Nothing worth bothering you.” The tone could have been steadier, but at least I was maintaining some composure.

    The beast’s lips parted into a horrifying mockery of a smile. I quickly shifted my focus to the whites of his eyes as he leaned closer, long years of agony had taught me to beware the unyielding suffering that lay in the black depths of those pupils.

    Taking a sip of my Phyllis Schlafly granted an excuse to look away and as the bitter drink clawed at my tonsils I begged myself not to remember the grinding wheels of eternity I knew could be glimpsed in those awful pale windows into what was a tortured and gratuitous soul.

    “Oh, but I have something worth bothering you over.” It leered at me.

    “Not interested.”

    From the corner of my vision the Luetchetian wrinkled its nose. “Why on this earth would you not jump at the tale that could be us working a case again.”

    Memories came rising to the fore of my mind like a surfacing Russian submarine.

    “Why, what better way to right a few wrongs?” It whispered.

    I hadn’t noticed the change, not for the first time it occured to me that it had always enjoyed being subtle on occasion.

    Having left the ill-fitting humanoid form behind, TchUranghraLous filled the building with its spoiled presence. Not even the unfortunate remains of three lunching ironworkers in the men’s room could dampen the suffocating coils of despair no mortal mind was ever meant to endure.

    “Won’t you dance with me again?” It asked in a soft and innocent voice that reminded me of soft china and polite conversation. “Won’t you come back to my world of pleasures and pains?”

    “I need you.” The delivery was more insistent now, no longer quite as pleasant. “Where? Where else would I find someone as perfect as you? We need each other. Don’t we?” The words started to fall harshly on my exposed psyche. “There is a price, Yes? You would still pay the price!” Its demands lashed at my soul, laying bare my ambitions.

    “You cheated me.” I choked past the intoxicating hate.

    “A bargain was kept!” It’s shriek sent tendrils hate searing up my spine. The rotten air escaped my seared lungs in a horrific croak. I was not afraid of it, not even this eldritchian horror could inflict its malignant seedlings upon my flesh without seeing a last display of my revenge. Power began to gather, what would be my last mortal strength was radiating power for a final act of revenge.

    “But don’t you want to get even?” A whisper, caressing the moral wounds it had inflicted both now and then.

    It was with an indescribable effort that I focused my failing gaze on the densest concentration of malevolence in the room. “Even Steven.”

    The fallen one’s laugh froze the power in my veins. “Every path to immortality has its costs. Even KellyAnne Conway’s.” The words whipped the last of my resistance away as the dark creature took me back into its service.

 

[Sivin]

Since nobody liked the Scottessy, I have another humble offering. 

[GAROVORKIN]

Have you ever heard of the fearsome Jackalope ?