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Tywin et al.

The Most Important And Difficult Question Ever Asked!

63 posts in this topic

9 minutes ago, KiDisaster said:

Hey listen if you bring a gun to an eagle fight you're asking to have it taken from you. 

Whoa, whoa, whoa if this guy is a wizard that changes the entire scenario and opens up a whole other field of questions. Like what kind of wizard are we talking? Harry Potter, LOTR, D&D? 

Yeah, like, can this wizard cast unlimited fireballs...or just unlimited magic missiles?! :P

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I want the air cover from the eagles.  And I think I want the gun on my side, but maybe it's ok to give it up as long as the eagles can take the gun from the hunter.  In that case I want the rats, I think.

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Rats and eagles.

Makes me think of my Magic The Gathering swarm deck.  Win fast or lose fast, regardless, it'll end quickly

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So in the middle of a giant field, but no boundaries mentioned. So in that case I go with the hunter and the lions.

Over short distances, the lions are the fastest of all the land animals on the list. So I would run like hell, by riding one lion. The hunter would ride the other, the rest will be sacrificed to fend off the rest of the beasts. The hunter would use his awesome shotgun and shooting skills to take down the eagles, as they dive in. Once the lions tire, I would let them and the hunter prepare one last ditch defense, as I continue to jog on my own. Hopefully by then all the eagles would have been taken down. But even if not, chances are all the animals would have tired by then, I manage to get away.

 

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Yep. Rats and eagles.  Because of this quandary, I've been doing a little searching on golden eagles.  I always knew eagles were formidable but damn!  Those are some bad motor scooters!  And 50 of 'em?!  Get outta here!

Not only are their talons long and sharp but they're also several times stronger than our hands.  So, if one latches on to you, you aren't freeing yourself easily.  They could just as easily tear the throats out of any of the other animals as blind them, except for maybe the crocs and bears due to their thick hides/coats.  But the rats could take care of blind crocs or bears.

Also, just to give a little more food for thought, golden eagles happen to be the second fastest birds in the air (only peregrine's are faster):stunned:  

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23 hours ago, Tywin et al. said:

Perhaps this belongs in the games section of the forum, but I figured it would get more eyeballs here. Anyways, here is the hypothetical scenario. You are standing in the middle of a giant field and you need to defend yourself. Here are your initial options:

  • 50 Golden Eagles
  • 10 Crocodiles
  • 3 Kodiak Bears
  • 7 Bulls
  • 1 Hunter w/ a Shotgun and Unlimited Ammo
  • 15 Wolves
  • 10,000 Rats
  • 5 Gorillas
  • 4 Lions

You get to pick two of the options above to defend yourself. The rest are going to attack you all at once. So the most important question ever asked is simply who are you going with to defend you?

Personally I got the Hunter and the Rats.

GO!

 

 

You take3 the Gorillas and the Bears.

They can kill all of the other shit one on one and with a little deft generalship you could be eating Lion with a side of Hunter for dinner.

Meat's gonna be pretty fucking tender though.

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37 minutes ago, Corvinus said:

So in the middle of a giant field, but no boundaries mentioned. So in that case I go with the hunter and the lions.

Over short distances, the lions are the fastest of all the land animals on the list. So I would run like hell, by riding one lion. The hunter would ride the other, the rest will be sacrificed to fend off the rest of the beasts. The hunter would use his awesome shotgun and shooting skills to take down the eagles, as they dive in. Once the lions tire, I would let them and the hunter prepare one last ditch defense, as I continue to jog on my own. Hopefully by then all the eagles would have been taken down. But even if not, chances are all the animals would have tired by then, I manage to get away.

 

The lions might be defending you, but no lion is going to be your bitch and let you ride it.

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The eagles are definitely OP. Gotta patch it, Tywin.

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I assume it is too sneaky to get in Bull Elephants due to a horrible error in proper precision in the question?

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1 minute ago, Ramsay B. said:

The eagles are definitely OP. Gotta patch it, Tywin.

But a Gorilla can take out a dozen Eagles in a single swipe.

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18 minutes ago, Pony Queen Jace said:

But a Gorilla can take out a dozen Eagles in a single swipe.

We bringing Kong into this? Hasn't he been through enough?

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41 minutes ago, Pony Queen Jace said:

 

You take3 the Gorillas and the Bears.

They can kill all of the other shit one on one and with a little deft generalship you could be eating Lion with a side of Hunter for dinner.

Meat's gonna be pretty fucking tender though.

Negative Jace. I listen to a radio show that does an animal segment with an expert zoologist, and they always talk about who wins in a fight between various animals. The expert maintains that a lion would kill both a bear and a gorilla, primarily because they are natural killers like lions. The lion's instincts would carry the day. 

23 minutes ago, Ramsay B. said:

The eagles are definitely OP. Gotta patch it, Tywin.

No can do. This is a popular meme going around the interwebs and I refused to change it (one version had 50,000 rats though, which seems incredibly OP).

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So, if the eagles can steal the gun, and it still has unlimited ammo, that changes everything. I wanted the rats and the hunter because I figured the rats would be really distracting so the hunter could pick everything else off if he's getting a 50% head shot rate. Plus, who wants to deal with the many rats? But if the gun can be stolen, the hunter is out and the eagles are in. Have the Rats move in a few controlled swarms while half the eagles protect me and the other half retrieve the boomstick. Then I'd keep like 15 eagles by me at all times for protection while the rats and the eagles systematically take down everything else. You might not have to shoot that much. But you do have to keep in mind, the hunter was a marksman. You're probably not.

Also, I'm surprised that the bulls aren't getting any love. I would think you could use them to just stampede over everything, which as a secondary purpose of scaring everything off.

I feel like 10 crocodiles are kind of worthless. So ignore my comment above about not changing the game. Would anyone take the crocs if we double the number to 20 of them? And/or maybe add a moat/lake that you can stand in to make the crocs more efficient? 

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5 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

Negative Jace. I listen to a radio show that does an animal segment with an expert zoologist, and they always talk about who wins in a fight between various animals. The expert maintains that a lion would kill both a bear and a gorilla, primarily because they are natural killers like lions. The lion's instincts would carry the day.

Listen, dickstick. I play a lot of video games and am in a dark place emotionally. So when I tell you that my leadership skills can see a gorilla eat a fistful of Eagles while pounding the shit out of a Lion, you need to get a tattoo of that image on your ass 'cause Jace done preached some fuckin' gospel!

 

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9 minutes ago, Pony Queen Jace said:

Listen, dickstick. I play a lot of video games and am in a dark place emotionally. So when I tell you that my leadership skills can see a gorilla eat a fistful of Eagles while pounding the shit out of a Lion, you need to get a tattoo of that image on your ass 'cause Jace done preached some fuckin' gospel!

 

:lmao:

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1 hour ago, mankytoes said:

The lions might be defending you, but no lion is going to be your bitch and let you ride it.

It's happening. Beastmaster skills full on. 

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8 hours ago, The Mance said:

I’ve moved firmly to eagles and wolves.  And I think people are overstating the danger of facing the rats as an enemy.  There’s a lot of them, true, but they would really only be useful for a static defense because they lack speed and mobility.  Plus, ultimately, while they could be a major distraction they aren’t really going to be able to kill anything on their own.  Best case they blind or disable something.  Same with the eagles, really, though they represent a larger threat than the rats, and would work well as support for small packs of wolves.

Here’s how I see eagles and wolves playing out:  Assuming the scenario starts with me and my companions at the center of the field and everything else spread around the perimeter, I direct a few eagles and some wolves to disarm the hunter and bring his shotgun to me.  Then I assign teams of 3-4 wolves and 10-12 eagles to harass and delay each group of lions, bears, gorillas, and bulls.  I ignore the crocs completely at first because any croc big enough to be dangerous is also going to be slow af.  I keep track of the rats and keep moving to minimize the chances of a coordinated attack.  Once I have the shotgun I move to support my teams until all threats are eliminated.

 

I'm still taking eagles and Crocs.  I don't know why you people think crociodiles are slow, and they'd pretty much scare off anything waving their big mouths around.  Plus they'd be immune to the rats and could crush a hundred or so just rolling over.  The eagles presence would likely send the rats heading for cover whether they are on bath salts or not.  

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3 hours ago, Tywin et al. said:

:lmao:

:smoking:

47 minutes ago, larrytheimp said:

I'm still taking eagles and Crocs.  I don't know why you people think crociodiles are slow, and they'd pretty much scare off anything waving their big mouths around.  Plus they'd be immune to the rats and could crush a hundred or so just rolling over.  The eagles presence would likely send the rats heading for cover whether they are on bath salts or not.  

Dude, have you ever seen a Bear or a Gorilla? They could literally pick up a 20 ft Croc and hug that shit to deaf.

Forget the mammals, have you ever seen a Jace? Goddamn right you ain't. 'Cause Jace gonna get you in the middle of the night.

 

She sneakin

she scheme'n

Jace gonna get that ass

floorboards squeakin

bitches scream'n

Jace gonna get that ass

 

Tryin' catch a Jace like trying to catch smoke

That Pony Queen gonna rope a dope!

 

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10 hours ago, larrytheimp said:

I don't know why you people think crociodiles are slow, and they'd pretty much scare off anything waving their big mouths around.  Plus they'd be immune to the rats and could crush a hundred or so just rolling over.

Well, some types of crocodilians can move quickly over land, and even gallop for short distances, when they are small.  But I presume the crocs we’re facing here are the giant 20’+ salt water/African river variety, and they are…not fast.  Also, despite their huge size, armor plating and gaping maws, of all the animals on the field they’re probably the most vulnerable to getting their eyes chewed out by the rats.

13 hours ago, Tywin et al. said:

So ignore my comment above about not changing the game.

Turns out the internet loves this game, and there don't seem to be any hard and fast rules beyond the basic idea of pick two and fight the rest.  Pretty much everything from tweeking the number of opponents, to changing the playing environment (big open field, indoors, Hunger Games style arena, etc) even fine tuning the hunter's skill and his gun type/amount of ammo are all adjustable options.  Anyway, your thread, your call.

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I'm going to amend my choice to eagles and gorillas. I've been giving this a lot of thought. 

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