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Pony Empress Jace

Marginally Friendly White Woman Seeks Lobbyist For Nerve Agents

16 posts in this topic

I can't enjoy my WWII simulator Hearts of Iron 4 anymore.

The Nazis had nerve agents in WWII, it's actually one of those weird little quirks I think resultant of Hitler's time under gas attacks that he didn't order the Wermacht to use them towards the end.

But you can't use nerve agents in HoI4. I can launch a coup of Hitler, I can reform the Austro-Hungarian Empire, I can overthrow Stalin and replace him with Trotsky or even set about to securing the Balkans with puppet regimes as Romania. But I can't even use nerve agents, and don't even get me started on not being able to use conventional weapons of war on my own people!

How am I to follow the example of our modern governments if I can't attack my own people?

Seriously, what's the fucking point at this point?

If I can't drop chlorine gas on a neighborhood in the middle of the day then the rest of the world can't look on in clamorous impotence. 

And that just breaks my immersion.

So here's the gig.

You go to the Paradox forums, you make an account, you explain my position to the developers through a post detailing why I need to be able to serve my people directly.

Compensation is exactly three charges of INSTA-JACE

- INSTA-JACE is a state-of-the-art program that allows you to summon a fire breathing, ice pissing, bitch to your side in an argument!

-How do you use INSTA-JACE? That's easy! Just drop an @Pony Queen Jace along with the magical words "Sic 'em" and watch your opponent be ripped to shreds by an equine enforcer who's so tough that it once took a court order to get her released from Animal Control. But don't let that scare you! All of those joggers were fitted with prosthetics at the state's expense!

- Warning! Do not take INSTA-JACE without alcohol. Some kinds of personality disorder have been reported by those who have used INSTA-JACE in the past. INSTA-JACE is uncontrollable, JACE Inc. is not responsible for damages done to your argument or psyche when using INSTA-JACE. Please use without responsibility.

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Posted (edited)

INSTA-JACE seems rife for a time ending paradox.

I mean, what happens if someone abuses this power and sics Jace on herself?

Edited by A True Kaniggit

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58 minutes ago, A True Kaniggit said:

INSTA-JACE seems rife for a time ending paradox.

I mean, what happens if someone abuses this power and sics Jace on herself?

What if INSTA-JACE is subject to a gas attack? What if Putin uses INSTA-JACE on our elections?

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2 minutes ago, Martell Spy said:

What if INSTA-JACE is subject to a gas attack? What if Putin uses INSTA-JACE on our elections?

As I said. The end of time. 

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21 hours ago, Pony Queen Jace said:

- Warning! Do not take INSTA-JACE without alcohol. Some kinds of personality disorder have been reported by those who have used INSTA-JACE in the past. INSTA-JACE is uncontrollable, JACE Inc. is not responsible for damages done to your argument or psyche when using INSTA-JACE. Please use without responsibility.

I can confirm the powers of INSTA-JACE!

I, however, get unlimited uses!  

:kiss:

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12 hours ago, A True Kaniggit said:

INSTA-JACE seems rife for a time ending paradox.

I mean, what happens if someone abuses this power and sics Jace on herself?

If you have to ask, then you don't know.

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Posted (edited)

17 hours ago, Pony Queen Jace said:

If you have to ask, then you don't know.

Truer words have never before been said.

Edited by A True Kaniggit

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2 hours ago, A True Kaniggit said:

Truer words have never before been said.

I know

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4 hours ago, A True Kaniggit said:

Truer words have never before been said.

GET OUT while you still can. The Jace is trying to corrupt your mind! 

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Damn. Even the now-ancient Alpha Centauri game let me use nerve gas weapons while racking up literally centuries of economic sanctions. 

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Well, considering the rules on Paradox:


NOTE: Strategic bombing in HoI4 will be abstracted and not allow you to terror bomb civilians specifically. Chemical weapons will also not be included in the game. Any threads that complain about this issue will be closed without discussion.[/quot€]

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1 hour ago, Galactus said:

Well, considering the rules on Paradox:

 

I learned how to convince other people to do criminal acts for me by watching the President!

:spank:

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Stellaris is much better in that regard. You can depopulate whole planets. Planetkilling is part of a DLC hover. You can even keep aliens(well and humans if you play as aliens) as livestock. Om nom nom.

Edited by Wolfgang I

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34 minutes ago, Wolfgang I said:

Stellaris is much better in that regard. You can depopulate whole planets. Planetkilling is part of a DLC hover. You can even keep aliens(well and humans if you play as aliens) as livestock. Om nom nom.

Oh yeah buddy!

i always give my race the decadent trait so that I can go find a mushroom kingdom somewhere and repurpose their disgusting bodies into something useful.

Edited by Pony Queen Jace

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Will your opponents be allowed to use their resources to hunt you down and hang you, your family, and probably your extended family during game play? Asking for a friend.

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2 minutes ago, kairparavel said:

Will your opponents be allowed to use their resources to hunt you down and hang you, your family, and probably your extended family during game play? Asking for a friend.

If they can't, I just don't know why I'm playing anymore. Although as Communist Yugoslavia I like to think that the Workers' Council and Federal Defense Chamber would not approve of such methods. We will fight Hitler within the bounds of international law with the support of the Allies or not.

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