OldBen Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Yes eating da ballz was the only good way to show moral clarity. Or having Quads of D'harans break arms of women as they raped them. But now that the D'harans are Richardized they can do the same murdering , raping, and pillaging only now it is for truth,justice, and the Tairy way! Perhaps the best thing to learn my sons and daughters is that so long as we are "da good guyz" we can do horrible things and get a "out of jail free" card just like in monnopoly! How awesume it dat? Very awesume! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 A one-liner? Okeedokee. Richard: "I know a lot about representational designs involving lethality." ~Phantom I'd give some background to the line, but it wouldn't really help it make sense. It does make me wonder where Dick went to school. It's never mentioned, but I assume that the Westlands have some great universities where Richard must have studied. Richard seriously says that? Wait. Why am I surprised? He's probably picked up the vocabulary of everyone else that ever used Teh Sword of Tr00th; I guess the last owner was some kind of management consultant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldBen Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 So since I draw da hentai pron and have video game skillz those will be transferred to others through da sword of trooth? Awesume! That means future seekers will be gamerz and be able to draw pronography! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Richard seriously says that? Wait. Why am I surprised? He's probably picked up the vocabulary of everyone else that ever used Teh Sword of Tr00th; I guess the last owner was some kind of management consultant. Richard himself was a management consultant for the Wayward Pine Home for Small Children. That's where he learned so much about representational designs involving lethality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldBen Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Richard himself was a management consultant for the Wayward Pine Home for Small Children. That's where he learned so much about representational designs involving lethality. Child: Richard my tooth hurts! Richard: I'll solve that ! (karate kicks kid in mouth) Child (sobbing) : Couldn't you have just taken me to a dentist?? Richard: Dentists don't know how to take their lives and live them! Besides you whiney brat the bleeding and suffering will make you stronger, ho! ho! ho! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 An old classic, Richard: "The Sword of Truth's magic, as my gift, could only again be viable when I comprehended - completely - that the magic needs no balance for the killling I've done because the killing I've done is not only moral, but the only moral course of action I could have taken." ~Naked Empire Hooray for Richard!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Damn right! I've yet to meet a small child who knew how to simply rise up take their life and live it. Most of them can't even grow a yeard. I say get a job you whiney little brats, don't you know that depending on others is evil!!!! (I am being fecicious. In no way do I advocate the getting of jobs or growing of yeards by small children.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Well, getting a job means working for others, which is evil. Only the self-employed true capitalist possesses moral celery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 I own a small goat farm which I use to teach nobility to pinko Commies and Catholics. Does that give me moral celery? (Again being fecicious. I am myself Catholic and respect the beliefs of those who choose to be Communists) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 I don't think you can teach that to commies and catholics. If they don't fall to their knees and cry with joy at the sight of your thing rising then you have to kill them. It's the only moral thing to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldBen Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 I train sweet young girls how to be ruthless red clad Dominatrixes. I feel like by doing so I've left my mark on society. They are so HAPPY when they torture the opressors of freedom! Why, just the other day we interrogated The Clintons and encouraged Bush to eradicate all Middle Easterners with exploding chickens! Progress I tell you! Pure progress! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nerdanel Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 I'm sure Richard the mighty, virtuous, awesome, the one who is best at every single thing under the sun he bothers to try out, even if he has had no practice, could have easily converted any number of vicious villains to the cause of goodness and light and the moral side of torture. The catch is, it wouldn't have been moral for him to do that. If Richard were to waste any more time than he absolutely has to dealing with those bothersome, worthless villains with no redeeming features, he would be enslaving himself to them, and enslaving anyone is highly immoral (except if Richard chooses to do it for a higher purpose, which is any purpose he wants to, as Richard is an inherently moral person and calm and kind too)! Since Richard refuses to be enslaved, he can kill (morally) an army in five minutes while it would take at least twice as long (probably more) if he were to make a speech to convert the scum. The ones who were particularly set in their evil ways - there are always some - would probably need even more speechifying and/or application of torture, and that would take ridiculous amounts of altruism (=immorality) on Richard's part, which he has none, as he's the hero. Richard will only ever bother with someone if there's some real benefit to him, for example he can save someone's life if he wants to have sex with them later while they are still alive. (Not that there's anything wrong with necrophilia by heroes, but Richard prefers live Kahlans. See, he has characterization!) I hope this clears the matter for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 I don't think you can teach that to commies and catholics. If they don't fall to their knees and cry with joy at the sight of your thing rising then you have to kill them. It's the only moral thing to do.(Moose is also being fecicious. If you are reading this thread and you see Catholithism or Communism being disperaged know that we are saying these things "in character" as a way to vent our frustrations toward the philosophies put forth in Tairy Goodkind's novels. We are in no way meant to be taken seriously. Ever.) My thing and I have killed many, many times in the name of moral celery, especially pinkos. But not as often as you might think. When my thing is rising most people cry with rapture from the pure truthy greatness of it. I train sweet young girls how to be ruthless red clad Dominatrixes. I feel like by doing so I've left my mark on society. They are so HAPPY when they torture the opressors of freedom! Those badass ninja chicks are so cool! I thank you for the great work you are doing in the name of the Order of the Righteous Yeard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldBen Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 I'm sure Richard the mighty, virtuous, awesome, the one who is best at every single thing under the sun he bothers to try out, even if he has had no practice, could have easily converted any number of vicious villains to the cause of goodness and light and the moral side of torture. The catch is, it wouldn't have been moral for him to do that. If Richard were to waste any more time than he absolutely has to dealing with those bothersome, worthless villains with no redeeming features, he would be enslaving himself to them, and enslaving anyone is highly immoral (except if Richard chooses to do it for a higher purpose, which is any purpose he wants to, as Richard is an inherently moral person and calm and kind too)! Since Richard refuses to be enslaved, he can kill (morally) an army in five minutes while it would take at least twice as long (probably more) if he were to make a speech to convert the scum. The ones who were particularly set in their evil ways - there are always some - would probably need even more speechifying and/or application of torture, and that would take ridiculous amounts of altruism (=immorality) on Richard's part, which he has none, as he's the hero. Richard will only ever bother with someone if there's some real benefit to him, for example he can save someone's life if he wants to have sex with them later while they are still alive. (Not that there's anything wrong with necrophilia by heroes, but Richard prefers live Kahlans. See, he has characterization!) I hope this clears the matter for you. Indeed! We need to let people know we're on the side of da light! Anyone who disagrees with us is jealous of Myshkin's fabalous goat farm and my red-clad vixens! Btw some buddhists are speaking on the values of altruism. I took the liberty to borrow a tank from the Pentagon. Let's kill some peaceful protestors! For the yeard!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Btw some buddhists are speaking on the values of altruism. I took the liberty to borrow a tank from the Pentagon. Let's kill some peaceful protestors! For the yeard!!! So long as they are armed with nothing but their hatred for moral clarity, go for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Btw some buddhists are speaking on the values of altruism. I took the liberty to borrow a tank from the Pentagon. Let's kill some peaceful protestors! For the yeard!!! Those silly Buddhists have way too much weirdo cultural diversity. I say we ship them all off to the goat farm for extermi... um, I mean re-education. For the Mighty Yeard!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldBen Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Yes your goats will show them the way! Oh I promise they'll squeal! We have to watch out for the Xiao-lin buddhist monks though. They are warrior caste martial artists. However I trained my red clad ninja sluts..er Morde Sith just for this occasion. Brilliant! Mad moose are the shells in the tank barrel?! Sally forth!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mme Erzulie Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 I think the single greatest one-liner has to be: "At that moment, Kahlan completely understood the concept of a chicken that wasn't a chicken" Not sure that's verbatim, but it's still gold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 "It looked like a chicken. Like all the Mud People's chickens. But this was no chicken. This was evil manifest." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 The chicken-that-was-not-a-chicken is the single greatest poultry based character in all of literature. Never before had I seen the concept of evil incarnate so eloquently realized. As for the one-liners, are we restricting ourselves to content from the books, or can we use the various asinine comments Tairy has made in interviews and such? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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