Michael Jon Snow Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Here's one I just made up. It is great that there is a thread now, where terrible ideas like this belong. Here goes: The mummers dragon from Dany's prophesy isn't Aegon. It is Viserys. The man who was crowned in molten gold by Drogo was Aegon. Viserys and Aegon were switched when they were babies, and then Viserys was switched again with an orphan from flea bottom, who later got his head dashed against a wall by Gregor Clegane. The orphan's mother quite conveniently died in childbirth. Aegon was taken to safety with Willem Darry, while Viserys was hidden safely by Varys. Aegon and Viserys both had Targ features. And they were of an age, weren't they? So they could easily pass for one another. So we can look forward to meeting Viserys in ADWD. Hopefully he is a nicer person than Aegon was. Viserys was about 4 when Aegon was born. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryStark Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 N+L=J is a separate crackpot theory to the "Ned warged into Lyanna" theory. It posits that Ned and Lyanna were in an incestuous relationship and Jon is the product of their incest . Oh right, I thought it might've been that, but hadn't actually come across it before (being new, and all!) I think I still prefer the "Ned warged into Lyanna" though... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dycedarg Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 There's a new one on the AFFC board that posits that Bran is/will become the Great Other. I think that's pretty darned crackpot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pwdiii Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 While any theory can be twisted to look silly I think this post is more concerned with those that look pretty silly to begin with. I'll consider any theory if the person has thought it out well and provides at least some evidence from the book to support it. To me what kinda makes something off the wal is when someone can only gives reasons from the book as to why it may not be false. Yet has none that back up why it may be true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A wilding Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 More crackpot theories: a) Benjen + Catelyn = Sansa (Catelyn was pissed off enough with Ned over Jon to seduce his brother in revenge. Benjen then joined the NW out of shame at what he had done.) Brienne + Sansa. Unfortunately the events of AFfC now make this one look less likely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aerys Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 The ASOIAF world is actually in a parrallel universe but due to the complications of quantum physics or something(I did not understand the several page explanation put forward by the supposed physics wizard) we believe that it is fantasy. And Jon was produced asexually by somewoman and was found under a stone by Ned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maid Sansa Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Westeros exists in a parallel universe and GRRM found a rift in space-time continuum that looks down onto it. He's just describing what he sees there. It took him so long to write AFFC because he needed to wait to see if something else that really needed to be included will happen, or what kind of foreshadowing to write. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redcandle17 Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Margaery and Tommen are sexually active. That's the most incredulous one I've encountered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_BlauerDragon Posted May 31, 2007 Author Share Posted May 31, 2007 Margaery and Tommen are sexually active. That's the most incredulous one I've encountered. Well, I see it as entirely possible that she could be molesting him... Who knows, there might be something seriously off with the entire Tyrell family that has always been hidden behind all their pretty little roses... I just came up with a new crackpot theory though... The FM aren't a church, they're actually the collections department of the Iron Bank... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pwdiii Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 You the guy that started this thread should have known there will never be a way to list all the theories as a new one pops up all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skyrazer Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Ok this reply may come a little late (or a fair bit), but to the TC: If you think R+L=J is crackpot, then I don't think you have a firm idea of the term "crackpot theory". As for it being the worse? Pffft. Yeah...its so bad despte the countless hints and pieces that fit perfectly into the theory . I'm sorry but bad theories don't have like 2 in every 3 people believing it true. And even those who do not believe in R+L=J, alot do admit that it is perfectly possible and quite legit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightflyer Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 Most crackpot theories in my opinion. When I define something as crackpot I don't count noses first, so its a good bet these 4 are believed by a lot of people. 1. Varys little birds are mutilated small children, who leave no traces. Zero, nada. 2. Someone poisoned Joffreys wine in the banquet hall, with 1000 guests, and no one saw it. 3. LF helped poison Joffrey as a random move in the game. 4. LF is telling Sansa the god's honest truth about everything important, and he really is as great as he says he is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyanna Stark-Targaryen Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 Hodor is the prince who was promised and has the ability to turn mud into gold. And he can fly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dycedarg Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 1-3: You just love stirring shit don't you? 4: Only people born yesterday believe that LF is telling Sansa everything. Only people born this morning think that every word that comes out of his mouth is a lie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_BlauerDragon Posted June 5, 2007 Author Share Posted June 5, 2007 I would like to add the various "Secret Targ" theories, though some of them may hold water. I definately think the "Sandor has Super Powers" theory belongs here... and... Unless I read it wrong, someone just suggested that the Queen of Thorns IS Margaery... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daeric Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 Cosmetics Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightflyer Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 1-3: You just love stirring shit don't you?No need to get testy. That anger is a sign your beliefs are not as firm as you would like. 4: Only people born yesterday believe that LF is telling Sansa everything. Only people born this morning think that every word that comes out of his mouth is a lie.I wouldn't say every word out his mouth to Sansa is a lie. I do say that every story he tells Sansa is twisted and full of lies. Always in ways that conceal his evil, and make him appear more powerful, and kinder to Sansa, than he really is. LF will say anything to Sansa to make himself attractive to her, and keep her from running away. Handsome Prince Harry the Heir is just the thing to keep her hopeful. And claiming he murdered Joffrey, and was behind her escape all along, is just the ticket to make her grateful. Every one of LF's stories has elements of truth in them, but only very small amounts. 1. Sansa would have to go public to marry Harry, which would put the Vale at war with the iron throne. Best she can hope for is that Alayne will be Harry's mistress. Harry will die anyway. 2. LF supplied the poison at Cersei's request. He didn't even know Olenna's name until Sansa let it slip. He learned Joff was dead from the bells ringing. 3. Early on Dontos told Sansa he would need to find gold and a ship to help her escape. Guess who was the "friend" he went to, who could supply both? Dontos was truly a fool, but then so was Ned, who trusted LF too. Anyway, LF implies the 10 thousand gold was Dontos reward, and before Dontos can say different, he is murdered in front of Sansa. And Sansa's escape became a kidnapping. Thats just the kind of lying, double crossing rat bastard LF is. He's just so charming that people can't accept it though. They even think listening to LF's Joffrey story is the same as solving the murder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_BlauerDragon Posted June 5, 2007 Author Share Posted June 5, 2007 No need to get testy. That anger is a sign your beliefs are not as firm as you would like. I wouldn't say every word out his mouth to Sansa is a lie. I do say that every story he tells Sansa is twisted and full of lies. Always in ways that conceal his evil, and make him appear more powerful, and kinder to Sansa, than he really is. LF will say anything to Sansa to make himself attractive to her, and keep her from running away. Handsome Prince Harry the Heir is just the thing to keep her hopeful. And claiming he murdered Joffrey, and was behind her escape all along, is just the ticket to make her grateful. Every one of LF's stories has elements of truth in them, but only very small amounts. 1. Sansa would have to go public to marry Harry, which would put the Vale at war with the iron throne. Best she can hope for is that Alayne will be Harry's mistress. Harry will die anyway. 2. LF supplied the poison at Cersei's request. He didn't even know Olenna's name until Sansa let it slip. He learned Joff was dead from the bells ringing. 3. Early on Dontos told Sansa he would need to find gold and a ship to help her escape. Guess who was the "friend" he went to, who could supply both? Dontos was truly a fool, but then so was Ned, who trusted LF too. Anyway, LF implies the 10 thousand gold was Dontos reward, and before Dontos can say different, he is murdered in front of Sansa. And Sansa's escape became a kidnapping. Thats just the kind of lying, double crossing rat bastard LF is. He's just so charming that people can't accept it though. They even think listening to LF's Joffrey story is the same as solving the murder. Thank you for mending that pot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_BlauerDragon Posted June 5, 2007 Author Share Posted June 5, 2007 I wonder, does the theory that "Bran is to be the next Varys" belong in this list? I am pretty sure the "Bran is the great Other" theory does... I'm pretty certain that the theory that Varys is an Undead servant of the first men who has always been the master of wispers since before the Targ invasion certainly belongs here... any others? any retorts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightflyer Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 I wonder, does the theory that "Bran is to be the next Varys" belong in this list? I am pretty sure the "Bran is the great Other" theory does... I'm pretty certain that the theory that Varys is an Undead servant of the first men who has always been the master of wispers since before the Targ invasion certainly belongs here... any others? any retorts? How about Varys is a telepathic were-whale? Tywin was stuck in the privy because Varys fed him a drug? And three of mine of mine, I'd forgotten about, (1) LF is a pirate, (2) learned his financial skills from his family in Braavos Iron Bank, and (3) Learned his dirty trick skills at the feet of his master, Tywin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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