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The Worst Author of All Time


Myshkin

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I too bear this great shame. The first couple books moved right along but then something happened - a formula appeared.

Every time Anita changed clothes there would be a detailed description of the outfit and how irresistible Anita was in it. And at least two paragraphs on her hair. And the Jean Claude would appear and five pages would be spent on how hawt he looked in apparel so gay that no queen on Castro Street would be seen in it. And then Richard would appear and there would be ten pages on the quality and color of his hair. And then an additional sixteen pages on how these two hawt supernatural men just wanted to fall on their knees and worship perfect goddess Anita. Oh, and any and all supernatural were-people, vamps, demons were all dressed like an ad for International Male and had really really pretty hair.

Good summary. I also bear the shame. The first books were tightly plotted little mysteries with supernatural elements. Nothing earth shaking, but fun. Then they devolved into really badly written porn. I like well written sex scenes as much as the next girl, but these were utter crap. How in the hell can sex be so boring????? And the books went from being tightly plotted to having no plot at all.

There are only a few series I have given up on as being so shitty they are completely unredeemable. The Anita Blake series is one of them.

Some of the others would be Goodkind's Sword of Truth, Patricia Cornwell's Kay Scarpetta mystery series, and I stopped reading that one series with the first book, Eragon.

I have this curse where I always try to finish a book, no matter how bad it is, and I always try to finish a series. It takes something really horrible to get me not to finish a series once I have started it... :stunned:

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Here's your winner

You've got to do the "search inside the book feature." It's priceless.

Oh, and the guy once threatened to "rape the children" of someone who gave him a bad review. He's a real champ.

Good gods, that reads like it was written by picking words at random from a dictionary, then run through Babelfish. Twice.

A quick question on McKiernen: does anyone know which of his books was the proposed LotR sequel? I read a couple of McKiernen books a long time ago (not the Iron Tower), found them pretty mediocre and stopped caring. Now I can't help but wonder if one of them was his Tolkien sequel.

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What about the Marquis de Sade?

His novels were in the Children's section at the local neighborhood bookstore but my nieces were bored to teared! What the hell kind of children's book author is this?

Um.... that's a joke, right?

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A pox on you I say! She brought bad, soft core caveman porn to the masses...of thirteen year old boys who discovered it... :leaving:

And nine year old girls sneaking into their parents' bedroom to borrow it whenever they weren't around ... ;) Go, stone-age sex ed.

Goodness, but there's some bad stuff out there. The Beatrice Small excerpt was ... somewhat blinding. Not one, but two more-or-less mighty rods. Hallelujah. ;)

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And nine year old girls sneaking into their parents' bedroom to borrow it whenever they weren't around ... ;) Go, stone-age sex ed.

Goodness, but there's some bad stuff out there. The Beatrice Small excerpt was ... somewhat blinding. Not one, but two more-or-less mighty rods. Hallelujah. ;)

And self-healing vaginas, it seems.

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Then you should seek out this guy:

http://www.rusf.ru/english/perumov/

"After placing the last dot in the Lord of the Rings, professor Tolkien closed shut the door leading into his world of elfs and gnomes, orcs and goblins, hobbits and people - and threw out the magic key. Only one author -- Nik Perumov -- was able to find a way into mysterious and secretive world of the Middle Earth. The task was not easy: indeed, each incorrect step threatened to loose the sight of the right path, each incorrect word could destroy the entire world. But in the end, talent prevailed. Tolkien's world came alive renewed, with never before seen colors and... became the world of Nik Perumov's."

Good grief...

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Here's your winner

You've got to do the "search inside the book feature." It's priceless.

Oh, and the guy once threatened to "rape the children" of someone who gave him a bad review. He's a real champ.

OK... that one just made my freaking head hurt.... I think I'm cross-eyed now from trying to read it.

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A quick question on McKiernen: does anyone know which of his books was the proposed LotR sequel? I read a couple of McKiernen books a long time ago (not the Iron Tower), found them pretty mediocre and stopped caring. Now I can't help but wonder if one of them was his Tolkien sequel.

Probably The Silver Call duology, Trek to Kraggen-Kor and The Brega Path. And yeah, pretty much an excercise in mediocrity.

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