The Real Will Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 I choose life and choose to kick of the next great adventure in the life of the Yeard. I believe that at this point it is traditional to say, play nice and... DO NOT FEED THE YEARD! Also, a big hello to word who made (his?) presence known at the end of the last thread. So, without further ado... have at it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 DO NOT FEED THE YEARD! Also don't stare directly at the yeard, you'll make it angrier. And it's already pretty pissed off. Also, a big hello to word who made (his?) presence known at the end of the last thread. Word I believe. Too many 'W' posters on this set of threads, it confuses skimmers like me. Anywho, I used to be a fan of SOT purely for an enjoyment factor ... Why don't you send Goodkind a letter saying so? He might blow out his aorta, and there would be much rejoicing (yay!). You do realize that you are in fact, reading the books incorrectly, don't you? I think the reason I may have liked SoT before now is just because I love reading and was starved for a good series to read Ouch, just lost a bit of credibility there... you used the 'g' word in reference to the SoT. Until you correct yourself and apologize, I demote you from lemming of discord candidate to mere stoat of quibbling candidate. You get your re-motion when you retract your heresy. Speaking of rodents, I assume everyone's seen the best five seconds on the internet by now. Is it just me, or could he be our poster-rodent after some rodent-reconstructive surgery to make it more lemming-like. So I just copied and pasted that onto a list and went out yesterday and picked up some books, starting with Gardens of the Moon. I hope I am on the right track, but based on the few threads I've perused regarding it I probably shouldn't worry. You're looking for the Malazan fora then, aren't you? Communist. Dirty red. Charity-giver. You probably pet stray puppies, hug widows and feed orphans too, don't you? Oh, you are a naughty boy GotM and MBotF tends to polarize readers. General consensus is to read the first three, then decide. If you don't like the series by Memories of Ice, you won't ever like it. Edit: If I didn't make it clear, I pretty much do not plan on reading SoT ever again unless it involves looking up something to laugh at it. I suppose I could burn my books, or give them to somebody I hate. Take a picture of yourself giving it to illiterate orphans to eat/heat their homes/anything but read. Send it to Yeardii and all his demonic acolytes. Listen for screams of rage and despair. Edit 2: Sidenote, sorry to bring up a past thread, but when I was reading the debate between Quincy and WLU/Moose regarding using rape as a method of justice I noticed that Quincy said something about thinking Hitler deserved to be raped. I was very surprised that nobody referred to the fact that Adolf Rahl did in fact get raped, by a red clad dominatrix. I think we all know that Richie actually enjoyed it. Besides, it demonstrated the important irrationality of an abusive relationship involving magic pain-causing dildos. The fuck. I hate how the SoT has caused me to joke about rape, so I think I'm going to stop. Welcome word, may you eat the hearts of your enemies, after forcing themselves to eat their own testicles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Templar Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Goodkind double-deuce. Who would have though it would come this far? And it seems that it is only gaining momentum, largely due to the celeric efforts of everyone involved. I don't know whether to congratulate all of you, or give you my sympathies.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
word Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Ouch, just lost a bit of credibility there... you used the 'g' word in reference to the SoT. Until you correct yourself and apologize, I demote you from lemming of discord candidate to mere stoat of quibbling candidate. You get your re-motion when you retract your heresy. Sorry I think I worded that incorrectly. What I meant to say was that I was LOOKING for a good series to read, but instead got the pile of crap known as SoT shoveled onto me. I did NOT mean that SoT is good. Or mediocre. Or worthy of using to whipe my ass. Maybe you would have understood that if you weren't a death chooser. So far I'm 118 pages into Garden(s?) of the Moon and I enjoy it. I guess we will see when I finish it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Templar Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Maybe you would have understood that if you weren't a death chooser. Oh man - I think word will fit in here nicely. WLU - your celerity has been challenged. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Sorry I think I worded that incorrectly. What I meant to say was that I was LOOKING for a good series to read, but instead got the pile of crap known as SoT shoveled onto me. I did NOT mean that SoT is good. Or mediocre. Or worthy of using to whipe my ass. Maybe you would have understood that if you weren't a death chooser. Now THAT was an AWESOME smackdown. I feel like I'm eight years old and just got kicked in the jaw. You sir, are an artist, and apparently have an unusually refined and dare I say discriminating anus. Have a dry-hump I hereby promote word out of stoat status and grant him the title of his choice in the Church of Discordant Lemmings. Except for Keeper of the Electric Butt-Plug of Pain. I like it too much. May I offer you the wardenship of some suspiciously smelly batteries? So far I'm 118 pages into Garden(s?) of the Moon and I enjoy it. I guess we will see when I finish it. If you like the first 100 pages, you should be good until The Bonehunters, which I thought sucked. Oh man - I think word will fit in here nicely. WLU - your celerity has been challenged. It has, and I find myself unable to respond further. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
word Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 I hereby promote word out of stoat status and grant him the title of his choice in the Church of Discordant Lemmings. Except for Keeper of the Electric Butt-Plug of Pain. I like it too much. May I offer you the wardenship of some suspiciously smelly batteries? I was not aware I would be given a position so quickly and have not had a chance to think on the matter. Would anybody like to help me out with some possible titles? Much appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mossman Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 I was not aware I would be given a position so quickly Just be glad Tairy didn't "give you a position." Doubtless it would have involved him standing tall and erect... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
word Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Well if that was the case, I suppose I would have had to change "titles" to "titties". Oh and sorry WLU for making you question your celerity. I'll try to hold off for the time being, as I don't like kicking people when they are on the ground. Unless they are eight year old girls (easier access to the chin, don't have to lift your leg so high). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Templar Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 I was not aware I would be given a position so quickly and have not had a chance to think on the matter. Would anybody like to help me out with some possible titles? Much appreciated. I recommend you take the smelly batteries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Well if that was the case, I suppose I would have had to change "titles" to "titties". Oh and sorry WLU for making you question your celerity. I'll try to hold off for the time being, as I don't like kicking people when they are on the ground. Unless they are eight year old girls (easier access to the chin, don't have to lift your leg so high). Word is so celerious he just gave me an erection. Possible titles: Holder of the Enormous Bosums Arch-Bishoprick Sharpest Barb on the Namble-Cock Starver of Orphans L337 Jaw-Kicker Your Handy Widow Helper (shortens to YHWH) Baby-Eating Bishop of Bath and Wells Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
word Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 I choose "Starver of Orphans" (and life of course!) I also would like to state that I disagree with the subtitle of this thread. I think you are giving TG too much credit. Chances are most people here bleed from their eyes when they read TG anyway, but when you get poked with a stick the stick doesn't preach to you about objectivism and condone sodomy. In summary, I would have to say that SoT is the metaphorical stick-that-isn't-a-stick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 I choose "Starver of Orphans" (and life of course!) I hereby award you the title 'Starver of Orphans', choosing life through my unilateral actions. Note that until you update your signature to reflect your annointing via my oils of titlation, you haven't chosen life yet and a pox is upon you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 I recommend you take the smelly batteries. Perv. Word - I retract my pox as you have sigged yourself admirably, effectively taking my titlating oils and smearing them all over yourself. Dirty, oily, smelly beast that you are. I'm stopping before this becomes the third thread in a row labelled NSFW. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
word Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 So I'm perusing wikipedia regarding Terry Goodkind for the hell of it, and I come across this quote of his: "I believe the only valid use of fantasy is to illustrate important human themes....I never allow my characters to use magic to solve their problems. Some of their peripheral problems are solved through their magical abilities, but it's couched in terms of overcoming those problems in a thinking way. The major conflicts in the books are always solved through human intellect... " I just have to ask...is this a serious quote or did somebody here make this up because it is absolutely ridiculous. Maybe I'm not being celerious enough. MAJOR CONFLICTS lets see... Book 2: Vaporizes everybody in the palace to stop Darken Rahl. Superb use of intellect, with magic it would've been too easy. Book 3: Saved by a gigantic gorilla bat and friends, who were created by magic. Once again, great use of Dick's intellect to tell the gar's to come save his ass. Book 6: Carves a statue. It's not like any moron can carve a statue of two people standing together, it takes great intellect. Book 8: Richard saves self by pulling a recipe for an antidote out of his ass. Incredible use of intellect, considering he has no idea what was in the poison. Definitely not a use of magic. Maybe it's just that the use of magic is defined so shittily in his books that I don't understand when it is being used. Or maybe Tairy is mongoloid. I am embarassed that I enjoyed this crap at one point in time. Edit: mentioned the statue per request, didn't really think it had to be mentioned since FotF is the best book of the series as any real celerious life loving person would know. Kve is obviously a communist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kve Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 You forgot the statue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
word Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 So I was bored and thinking and then I remembered about this breakdancing video that kind of reminds me of SoT. It can be found here. Only difference as far as I can tell is that the girl is 3 and the guy probably isn't a complete douchebag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Welcome word, Starver of Children. You are a Lemming indeed, and full of celery. How did we ever get along without you in our merry band of fuckery? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
potsherds Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 I also would like to state that I disagree with the subtitle of this thread. I think you are giving TG too much credit. Chances are most people here bleed from their eyes when they read TG anyway, but when you get poked with a stick the stick doesn't preach to you about objectivism and condone sodomy. In summary, I would have to say that SoT is the metaphorical stick-that-isn't-a-stick. WLU, you have a new rival in comedy, dear. Goodluck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Wow, I've been quoted in somebody's sig! I feel so special. Today I am a man!! Side note: have we all decided to put our church titles in our sigs? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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