Goodkind XXXII: Swedish Grandmothers Beware

[Werthead]

It was redundant having two threads on the same topic so they were harshly and unexpectedly merged. Now a new Goodkind thread is born and needs a name. Go to it people.

And usual rules apply.

[The Real Will]

If there is nothing in that last interview we can use as a name then we don't deserve the title of lemmings.

I vote for "Swedish Grandmothers Beware."

[Foreverlad]

The Wizard's Unwritten Rule would make a splendid thread title

Goodkind XXXII: It's Inside You

[Larry.]

XXXII: He is a born storyteller

Swedish Grandmothers beware

That's my nom. But wasn't there something from about a week or two ago that was quite apt for a story title?

[Werthead]

I think we've found a winner!

[Zap Rowsdower]

I think we've found a winner!

I would further suggest that the title be modified so as to read: Goodkind XXXII: Swedish Grandmothers Beware- It's Raw Goodkind.

[Lupigis]

Pretty please with sugar on it - can somebody explain the Swedish grandmothers reference?!

[Larry.]

Well, it begins by you reading this just-posted interview:

When you say you're fighting terror, there's no such thing as "terror" as an enemy. You're doing gang rape on 80 year-old Swedish grandmothers because you're afraid to say that the enemy are Middle Eastern men. This distraction, this forced equality, is ignoring of reality. Philosophy is at the cause of this because they're ignoring reality in order to adapt meaningless principles. The philosophy is going to get us all killed.

Any other questions?

[The Pita]

That is an example of a very good question.

Someone offered an idea that we offer new questions for TG's answers.

For example:

Question: How do you think you can explain the complete monstrosity that is Confessor?

Yeard: I didn't have time for any emotions because the schedule was so incredibly tight. I just didn't have time to ponder anything, I only had time to be in the world, in the book with the characters, writing their story. “Confessor” is a book that I've been waiting over a decade to write. I simply had to get it done. My publisher gave me a schedule for the book that was well outside my comfort zone, so I was writing “Confessor” on the ragged edge. I wrote the last 80 pages in one sitting, total stream of consciousness. I never re-read it, I just sent it off to the publisher. What you read in “Confessor”, the last 80 pages of the book, is what came up on my computer in one sitting, no editing, nothing. That's a decade worth of planning and just writing it out. It's raw Goodkind [laughs].

See?

Now someone else try, and probably completely embarrass me.

[Caligula_K]

What a nice young man that Terry is, and what insightful commentary!

[Werthead]

Is Fantasy Book Critic taking the mick? Seriously, I had an image of him trying not to laugh whilst talking about the jumping in the river bit.

And what was absolutely brilliant was the link to Min's blog, complete with parodies, sitting right next to the interview on the left-hand side. Quite amusing.

[Larry.]

I believe Robert has partnered with an aspiring author, the David who did that interview and the Confessor book review, for certain posts/interviews. It's safe to say that the interviewer is a Tairy fan. Wouldn't know about Robert, though.

But yes, that was quite amusing to note that.

[BrainFireBob]

Y'know the sad thing about SoT fanatics? The ignorance.

Seriously, at a guess, most of them are actually intelligent- just young and/or very, very uneducated. To them, as this is their first exposure to these kinds of ideas, it really *is* groundbreaking . . .because they don't have enough exposure to know better.

[Caligula_K]

From what I have been able to gather in terms of how other writers function, I don't operate anything like them. I can't even remember the last time I read a novel. I rarely read novels, partially because I have dyslexia; it takes me a long time to read. I'm a very slow reader, and I like to pay attention to words. Every word has a meaning, and I detest people who skim because they miss the essence of what the writer is saying, they miss all the little clues that give the characters their humanity.

Jesus Christ, he gets more self important with each interview. What a pompous ass.

For example, if you want to illustrate the concept of individual liberty, it's too broad of a concept to just say, "Freedom is good, slavery is bad." That has no emotional impact. You need to tell a story that gets that emotion across. That's what “Faith of the Fallen†was. It was a story derived to illustrate that broad theme, so what I'm doing is illustrating a broad theme.

Absolutely correct. You have to have your character state "freedom is good, slavery is bad" at least 20 times per chapter (how can you get the point across by just saying it once?), write about strawmen society and illustrate concepts through statue building.

Every word that I write is critical. I will sometimes spend half a day on one paragraph because I'm trying to get the exact right words that convey the exact, proper connotations of what the human beings are thinking, doing, whatever. Every single word I consciously intend to be there; they're not accidental. To skim and just kind of hit a few words in every paragraph, you miss all the work that I put in to make those characters humans. So when I read, I read the same way: pay attention to all the words so you understand what the writer intended. Yes, for me it's partially the dyslexia, but I also want to pay close attention.

If this is true, it gives me an even worse opinion of Goodkind's prose; its one thing to write that shit when you're rushing, but to spend half a day on a paragraph and have each suck other balls? That takes impressive skill. On the other hand...

. I wrote the last 80 pages in one sitting, total stream of consciousness. I never re-read it, I just sent it off to the publisher.

Okay, he's just a shit writer overall. Who writes 80 pages without editing? I had forgotten how much I hate this guy.

[Myshkin]

That interview was AWESOME!!!1!!1!! The Yeard really outdid himself this time!

[Guest Raidne]

Do 80 year old Swedish grandmothers really still date?

[Moosicus]

Not date, no. They just cruise the bars looking for cheap sex. So why date rape and gang rape them? Doesn't the Yeard know how easy swedish chicks are?

[danro]

That interview was AWESOME!!!1!!1!! The Yeard really outdid himself this time!

He really did.

If this is an authentic interview the guy is living on a completely different planet from the rest of us. To think that I almost feared these threads would dry up after the release of Confessor.

He suffers from dyslexia and reads slowly, ok, I knew that. Well done to overcome that and be a successful author.

But then he tries to make not reading fiction a virtue. And claims that not reading other authors ensures that his writing is original.

Eh... no. It all but ensures (assuming that it is true) that you revisit most of the tired old cliches that every other fantasy author thought of a thousand times before you.

Then he goes on and on and on. Each answer more mindblowing than the last. I can't even go into the philosophy bits right now...

Lets just say it almost makes me glad my swedish grandmother is safely in the ground. (I really wish the Yeard would have left her out of it.)

This interview alone will give us material for several threads, I predict.

[Moosicus]

If most of the Yeard's fans aren't "fantasy readers", and he still sells millions of books, then what is this "broader audience" that he's trying to reach? The people who hang out in self-help? the erotica perverts?

[Guest Raidne]

If most of the Yeard's fans aren't "fantasy readers", and he still sells millions of books, then what is this "broader audience" that he's trying to reach? The people who hang out in self-help? the erotica perverts?

It's clear he spends a lot of time thinking about touching Swedish grandmothers.