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One Million Strong for Randyll Tarly!


Werthead

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@Frozen Fire and SkyPirate

Thanks for the response and the link regarding House Tarly's words... I initially thought it was "Proud to be kicking your ass"

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The original title of "A Song of Ice and Fire" was "Randyll Tarly and Friends"

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Maesters of the Citadel thinks that the Childrens of the Forest do not exist...
Randyll Tarly thinks they taste like chicken...
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[quote name='Dacey' post='1392852' date='Jun 10 2008, 16.14']Please. Tarly? In a series that's full of REAL badasses?

Oberyn Martell once punched a hole in Randyll Tarly's chest just to see who was coming up the road.[/quote]

Yeah, the homosexual latin american dance instructor character that runs around with a spear is so intimidating.
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[quote name='Anatole Kuragin' post='1395207' date='Jun 12 2008, 16.30']Yeah, the homosexual latin american dance instructor character that runs around with a spear is so intimidating.[/quote]
PWNED!! And its also true.

Oberyn Martell once tried to bugger Randyll Tarly on a bloody spear, Randyll Tarly immediately buggered Oberyn Martell with his bloody cock.

(Too far?)
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The creators of the Cyvasse board game intended it to have a "Randyll Tarly" piece. However, any move that this piece does causes the opposing army to disintegrate. Since the Prince's Cyvasse Tourney held at Sunspear, this flaw was removed to balance the game and make it more competitive. Randyll Tarly insists that this is not a flaw.
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Melisandre once had sex with Randyl Tarly. Every man she slept with since only gave her a shadow of the experience.


When Randyl Tarly plays with his bow even his own sons run all the way to the Wall.


Randyl Tarly would like to fight Beric one on one. That is why Beric has since changed sex, turned mute and scurries around like a rat.


Khal Drogo promised his moon and stars to conquer Westeros for her. But when he heard that Randyl Tarly was there he got so scared a fly's buzz spooked him off his horse.
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[quote name='shadowbinding shoe' post='1399994' date='Jun 16 2008, 15.59']Melisandre once had sex with Randyl Tarly. Every man she slept with since only gave her a shadow of the experience.[/quote]
And we have a winner! Haha, thats awesome. Almost made me spit my drink all over my monitor.
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[quote name='Night Watchman' post='1411147' date='Jun 23 2008, 04.51']The Stark words are now 'Randyll is coming.'[/quote]

lol, nice

how about:

Hear my Randyll
Ours is the Randyll
Randyll does not Sow
As High as Randyll
Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken... Until Randyll Tarly came
Randyll and Tarly
Growing Randyllish
We Randyll the Way

Ok so those all suck... sorry
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In Westeros every god perform some miracle and its power is manifest in the world. Only the seven are powerless. Why is that?


One day Randyl Tarly agreed to give each of the seven gods one wish.

The next day:

- The Father retired satisfied after hearing of the Randyl Tarly justice.

- The Mother's whereabouts became a mystery though reliable eyewitnesses claim to have seen her in Horn Hill, darning socks.

- The Warrior lost his shield and sword after sorely losing in a practice duel.

- The Maiden was a maiden no more.

- The Smith took a permanent stint as Randyl Tarly's personal smith after learning that only two substances in the known world can forge ordinary steel into Valyrian steel: the dragonfire of a 100 year old dragon living since the day of its hatching on a diet of spiced basilisks and little children or the piss of Randyl Tarly taken first thing after he gets up in the morning.

- The Crone fell into a catatonic state uttering only occasional "No! No! Noooo!" after learning that the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything is: "Randyl Tarly. And that's how it's gonna stay."

- And the Stranger suffered from a case spontaneous self combustion after trying (in vain!) to take the life of the noblest man the gods ever put on this good earth.


This is why no prayers to the seven gods of Westeros are answered any longer. There is no one like Randyl Tarly. There is only Randyl Tarly.
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