Goodkind XXXX: Quest for the yeard

[Moosicus]

In the event that tairy runs for president I will insist on a bill to see if fans of tairy's are mentally competent to vote. A quick perusal of tairys works should demonstrate to any judge in America that anyone who follows this crap is some kind of degenerate, and should be put away. After which Tairy will never write again, and will die a slow death from syphilis.

[Jaxom 1974]

[quote name='Myshkin' post='1566773' date='Oct 24 2008, 22.28'][url="http://www.terrygoodkind.net/forums/showthread.php?t=3785"]Tairy for Prez.[/url][/quote]

Only if John Ringo is his VP choice!

[Myshkin]

[quote name='Jaxom 1974' post='1566793' date='Oct 24 2008, 21.34']Only if John Ringo is his VP choice![/quote]
Oh John Ringo, yes!

But really there is only one person with enough moral celery to be Tairy Goodkind's running mate, and that person is....... Tairy Goodkind!

[Mme Erzulie]

[quote name='Pebble that Hides' post='1566556' date='Oct 24 2008, 22.07']Co-worker, "Hey [insert real name here] Have you read any Te"

Me "I don't feed the Yeard"

Work experience Lad goes bright red "I wouldn't soil my books on a lemming!"


We have another two weeks with this Lad, But I guess I won't be babysitting him. I kind of feel bad for upsetting him. I haven't actually read any Tiary (apart from a few extracts) so I am relying on you guys for advise.[/quote]

Are you guys not more impressed by this? I mean, lemming notoriety has clearly transcended the hypertext realm and now lemmings and yeardites meet randomly in the real world! What are the odds? How many of us (and them!) are there?

And in a workplace! Co-workers must have been feeling slightly trippy witnessing that.


On to the 8-minute clip of jizz:

It's good to see that the producers of the show have decided to keep the main theme from the books: logical inconsistencies. Cue girls with cleavage riding horses being pursued by a quite populous quad. They're riding through the woods. No, wait, they're riding through a barren wasteland. No, wait, they're riding through a desert. The pursuers are within bowshot on horseback, which surely can't be that much. Yet as soon as K-dawg's little sister gets nailed and rolls down the sand dune (wtf?), they have all the time in the world to perform the last rites and bla bla. Then, K-dawg starts running, cue horsemen on her tail again. She is apparently a good runner, seconds later, no desert, no riverbed, just back to the barren wasteland and the barrier. Now, the quad won't shoot, they want to talk. They think they've got her trapped. Victory! But wait! K-dawg snatches a luminescent tampon from her, uh... snatch, and the barrier splits open like the Red Sea! So K-dawg walks calmly through it. The quad dudes still don't shoot her, even though they now have a nearly stationery target well within range. They decide to cautiously follow on their horsies. Cue Dick chopping wood in the woods. "Yeah, I always do my wood-cutting semi-naked. The bark feels so good against my skin. I also look like a cabana boy." Cue K-dawg running through the woods. Cue quad in hot pursuit, now unequestered, for some reason. Forest leads to a cliff, to narrow for K-dawg to escape to any one side. Now, the quad decides to practice their archery skills on our heroine. Cue Dick flying in from left field, able to utilize the width of the plateau to sneak up on them undetected. Cue what [i]should[/i] have happened in the books. K-dawg touches one of them, who in turn slays all his quad-rades but one, who in turn does a little twee dance with Dick before plunging to his death.

The HD cameras makes everything look slick, but apart from that, my God, what a mess.

[Pebble thats Stubby]

[quote name='Erzulie the Unruly' post='1566850' date='Oct 25 2008, 13.07']Are you guys not more impressed by this? I mean, lemming notoriety has clearly transcended the hypertext realm and now lemmings and yeardites meet randomly in the real world! What are the odds? How many of us (and them!) are there?

And in a workplace! Co-workers must have been feeling slightly trippy witnessing that.[/quote]

Got to say I've never considered myself a Lemming before, I'm certainly not as passionate or outsoken as the rest of you guys. (maybe thats beacuse all my Yeard Facts are second hand, and I've never endurded the troumor of reading his words).

However I was honourd that the poor missguided youth recongised me as being an unconvertable death choosing pasafist. I am greatly hohnorourd to be considered a Lemming and I shall hereby swear to unhold and defend Lemming honour and integrity.

I shall now adjust my sig as I take the title Moose has bestowed upon me.

Now I truely belong.

[Zap Rowsdower]

[quote name='Erzulie the Unruly' post='1566850' date='Oct 25 2008, 05.07']Are you guys not more impressed by this? I mean, lemming notoriety has clearly transcended the hypertext realm and now lemmings and yeardites meet randomly in the real world! What are the odds? How many of us (and them!) are there?

And in a workplace! Co-workers must have been feeling slightly trippy witnessing that.[/quote]

I know. I was in awe of this encounter. The Eternal Conflict is spreading to the real world as well! The battle lines are drawn!

[Jerec]

Better hope none of them get their hands on a sword and decide to cut you all down because you lack moral clarity. You pacifists wouldn't even fight back!

[Zap Rowsdower]

[quote name='Myshkin' post='1566773' date='Oct 24 2008, 20.28'][url="http://www.terrygoodkind.net/forums/showthread.php?t=3785"]Tairy for Prez.[/url]

ETA: I've been perusing some of the political threads over at .net, and it is amazing how utterly uninformed most of them are. I mean it's like a room full of McCain rally crazy ladies.[/quote]

One of the responses on that thread:

[quote]Just ship our enemies copies of the SOT series and they might get a good idea of who NOT to mess with.[/quote]

In my mind, I can just see Ahmadinejad falling to his knees in despair and begging President Goodkind not to send them any more crappy novels.

[Myshkin]

BREAKING NEWS:

Tonight, 6:30 pm PST (9:30 pm EST), on the CW network (check your local listings), Making Of: Legend of the Seeker will be airing! You don't want to miss this! Be there or be morally square (unless you're too young or too stupid to understand it)!

[Zap Rowsdower]

[quote name='Myshkin' post='1567308' date='Oct 25 2008, 17.59']BREAKING NEWS:

Tonight, 6:30 pm PST (9:30 pm EST), on the CW network (check your local listings), Making Of: Legend of the Seeker will be airing! You don't want to miss this! Be there or be morally square (unless you're too young or too stupid to understand it)![/quote]

Wait, what's the CW network?

[Myshkin]

Some shit network. It's on KTLA channel 5 here in LA.

[The Pita]

Tape it and send it here.
We'll kill it dead quickly enough.

[Tyria]

[quote name='Myshkin' post='1567308' date='Oct 25 2008, 21.59']BREAKING NEWS:

Tonight, 6:30 pm PST (9:30 pm EST), on the CW network (check your local listings), Making Of: Legend of the Seeker will be airing! You don't want to miss this! Be there or be morally square (unless you're too young or too stupid to understand it)![/quote]

I watched it. It was pretty cheesy. I liked the [b]constant [/b]references to it being a fantasy show. I imagine there are many out there who are not pleased, heh.

[Andhaira]

[quote name='Tyria' post='1567673' date='Oct 26 2008, 11.45']I watched it. It was pretty cheesy. I liked the [b]constant [/b]references to it being a fantasy show. I imagine there are many out there who are not pleased, heh.[/quote]

Actually tairy probably htinks he started 'transcending' from book 3 onwards. So the first two seasons will be fantasy; the transcension only starts after.

I do get a strange felling though that Universal, who recently purchased movie rights for Wheel of Time, will be paying close attention to public reaction for season 2. :D

[Zap Rowsdower]

[quote name='Andhaira' post='1567726' date='Oct 26 2008, 10.49']Actually tairy probably htinks he started 'transcending' from book 3 onwards. So the first two seasons will be fantasy; the transcension only starts after.

I do get a strange felling though that Universal, who recently purchased movie rights for Wheel of Time, will be paying close attention to public reaction for season 2. :D[/quote]

Haw haw! The situation that would arise would simply be beautiful. Imagine if Season Two of Legend f the Seeker comes out long before a Wheel of Time movie. People unfamiliar with either of the books series will assume that Robert Jordan "ripped off" Terry Goodkind.

Would this be enough, do you think, to summon Jordan's revenant back from the grave in order to wreck a horrible vengeance upon Terry Goodkind?

[Jerec]

I had a fairly strange dream last night, and there was this one bit where I was throwing out printouts of Sword of Truth chapter guides (I don't know why I had them), and Goodkind himself was there and I was talking about the books with him and somehow we got onto the topic of powerful villains. I remember saying "If Richard were a villain he'd be the most powerful of the lot. But, I suppose..." and I was going to mention the bad stuff he's done, but Goodkind gives me this raptor-eyed stare as if he knows what I'm about to say, and I think better of it.

I think I'm hanging around these topics too much again. Some Mistborn stuff got into my dreams, too, but that's understandable as I spent most of yesterday reading it.

[The Wolf Maid]

[quote name='Erzulie the Unruly' post='1566850' date='Oct 25 2008, 20.07']Are you guys not more impressed by this? I mean, lemming notoriety has clearly transcended the hypertext realm and now lemmings and yeardites meet randomly in the real world! What are the odds? How many of us (and them!) are there?

And in a workplace! Co-workers must have been feeling slightly trippy witnessing that.[/quote]
I myself was amazed beyond coherence. :D

How many times does Kahlan get chased in SoT, btw? There are awful lot of chases. :/

[quote name='Myshkin' post='1567308' date='Oct 26 2008, 08.59']BREAKING NEWS:

Tonight, 6:30 pm PST (9:30 pm EST), on the CW network (check your local listings), Making Of: Legend of the Seeker will be airing! You don't want to miss this! Be there or be morally square (unless you're too young or too stupid to understand it)![/quote]
Crap! I only have youtube, and its not working. :(

[Ecchi-Oni]

[quote name='The Wolf Maid' post='1568344' date='Oct 27 2008, 00.43']I myself was amazed beyond coherence. :D

How many times does Kahlan get chased in SoT, btw? There are awful lot of chases. :/


Crap! I only have youtube, and its not working. :([/quote]
Try eztv

[WLU]

[quote]All because this is a story about Hero's...TRUE heros!. Heroic people acting in a manor that underscores the true Nobility that is mankind. It proves what Goodkind has been telling us for over 15 years now... People want heros... TRUE Heros. This is the same thing Sam Raimi, Rob Tapert Ned Nallie, ABC and Disney all agree on... This is why you see something like George R R Martin's A song of Ice and Fire always failing by comparison, why it is still sitting on the shelf, why the screen play has had to have been rewritten several times already, and it is still sitting there... It has no true hero's and no honor for life... People want to feel good about their heros, they want Heros, they can believe in!!![/quote]
I love that the books are all about heroism and crap, and that we're supposed to have TRUE heroes, and this is supposed to be philosophy that will help people live in the real world and crap, yet this ignores that a) mankind isn't particularly heroic, noble or even nice to anyone except their ingroup, and b) none of Tairy's solutions to problems are particularly applicable to real-life. People piss you off? Cut your arm open and threaten to kill them. Or actually kill them. Again, anyone who uses fantasy books as reference text for [i]actually[/i] living their lives, needs help.

[quote name='Pebble that Hides' post='1566556' date='Oct 24 2008, 17.07']Hey, I thought you may find this amusing. This happened to me earlier today.

We've got a work experience lad with us at the moment. You know what they are like, its very hard to get three words out of them. However I guess we found something he's passionate about.

Well I walked in the middle of the conversation but co-worker said "You should ask [insert real name here], she reads fantasy"

Work experience lad (voice thick with disdain) "There not [i]Fantasy[/i] they are full of real issues about real themes in the real world. You know the important human ones that really matter"

Co-worker "oh"

Work experience Lad "they kind of offer guidance, and how you should approach any situation in life. And how to be a good decisive person. I'll lend you the first one if you like"

Awkward silence in the entire office.

Co-worker, "Hey [insert real name here] Have you read any Te"

Me "I don't feed the Yeard"

Work experience Lad goes bright red "I wouldn't soil my books on a lemming!"

We have another two weeks with this Lad, But I guess I won't be babysitting him. I kind of feel bad for upsetting him. I haven't actually read any Tiary (apart from a few extracts) so I am relying on you guys for advise.

Given that I have somehow insulted and upset this poor 14 year old, on my beliefs regarding acceptable reading material. What would Richard do in my situation? Try to pacify the poor misguided lad the next time I see him and try to make him feel better? Or should I just Kick him in the jaw? Or is there some other appropriate response? I just want to make him feel better that I know what Richard would do and can apply it. Follow the rules he respects.[/quote]
Seriously, Yeard and Lemming in the real world? Awesome. You should have used Tairy's books to give you "guidance [on] how you should approach [this] situation in life". Based on Tairy's revered wisdom, I could see two options - kick the kid in the jaw, or call them ugly.

He's 14. In a couple years he'll be off to university where he'll be a giant prat for a while before settling into sensible normality and a job. Or he'll go to work. Either way, when forced to live in the real world and pay for food and rent and whatnot, the uncompromising drive to worship Tairy in all his greatness will probally turn into a more sensible realization that contrary to the Sword of Truth series, you can't solve most problems with a sword, and though magic might work, it's not real. Or he'll be in prison, where the Books of the Yeard will serve him much better (see [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rorschach_(comics)"]Rorschach[/url] from the totally awesome [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watchmen"]Watchmen[/url] series for an example of Objectivism meeting prison inmates).

[quote name='Moosicus' post='1566765' date='Oct 24 2008, 23.18'][sound holy-type music] I hereby convey upon you the title of SHIELD-BEARER OF ALL THAT IS LEMMING, wear the title with pride, and fight the influence of the Yeard wherever you find it. The battle is in your blood.[/quote]
In my position as lapsed title-conveyer of the Church of Lemming, I endorse this title and would happily mail a vile vial of my blood to decorate the shield beared (moosed?) by Pebble. Of course, since my position has lapsed like a serial-philandering Catholic, this is quite meaningless.

[quote name='Myshkin' post='1566773' date='Oct 24 2008, 23.28'][url="http://www.terrygoodkind.net/forums/showthread.php?t=3785"]Tairy for Prez.[/url][/quote]
I have three thoughts on this:
[list=1]
[*]couldn't do worse than George W. and unlike McCain he's unlikely to die and leave Sarah "150K wardrobe" Palin as 'leader' of the free world.
[*]I would pay money to watch him negotiate foreign policy
[*]Mystar as VP - oh, the horrors
[/list]
[quote name='Zap Rowsdower' post='1567269' date='Oct 25 2008, 19.43']In my mind, I can just see Ahmadinejad falling to his knees in despair and begging President Goodkind not to send them any more crappy novels.[/quote]
More likely response - "Geez, my spelling is better than this Goodkind fellow." *checks back cover to confirm English is Yeardii's first language*

[Nails77]

This might belong in the Entertainment forum, but thought some of you might enjoy it. A short column in Entertainment Weekly about LotS. Basically describing it as a cheesy fantasy show similar to Xena or Hercules. I don't think the Yeardites will like it much.

[url="http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20235549,00.html"]http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20235549,00.html[/url]

One quick exerpt: "are simplifying Goodkind's dense novels (there are 12 in all) and will make the episodes more closed-ended and family-friendly: No graphic depictions of sex, a staple in Goodkind's tomes. "

Not sure how much simpler the storytelling can get, and if they take out the graphic depictions of sex, what is left? Evil fire and demonic chickens?