The Legend Begins...

[Fatuous]

[quote name='Zap Rowsdower' post='1575078' date='Nov 2 2008, 21.42']20- Zedd naked on his rock! Why did they keep THAT of all things?!! Also he DOES talk to his chicken! And in a friendly manner?! He named his chicken Clara?! I cannot see how this can be anything except a big old FUCK YOU! To Terry Goodkind and his fan base.[/quote]

Hands up everyone who was making "cock" jokes. I know I was...

So far I saw the first hour of the show and I liked it. Well, once I got past the first five minutes that is. "Oops, Arrow in the back... Slow motioonnn....Looks like she'll fall off her horse now. Hey, here comes a cliff. Do ya think she'll fall off the horse and down the cliff or is that too cliche?...Guess not."

But once the dead weight was gone, the show picked up a lot. I particularly liked the fight between Richard and Fane. It was good to see Richard get his ass kicked and not like it. Wait, nevermind...

[Zap Rowsdower]

60 mins- Darken Rahl! And he’s shirtless. In the book, DR is supposed to have a handsome face but have lots of gruesome scars from Zedd’s wizards Fire. It doesn’t look like he has any gruesome scars.

65- So it turns out Dick actually rebuilt the bridge that was in the south. And now they’re going to use that bridge to escape.

66-It IS Chase!

68- Darken Rahl just killed one of his own minions who failed him. So he’s one of THOSE villains.

74; OK so the boundary HAS stood for 100s of years! Earlier in the movie I thought they said so but I thought I misheard. This is a real change from the book where the Boundary has only been up a decade. In the book they just BEHAVE like its been up for hundreds of years. And Michael apparently isn’t that evil. Fane is slowly leading Michael to the dark side. Go Fane! Fane Tells M that Richard has been enslaved by Klan and Klan killed his father. That actually is a lot more logical than just having Michael be eeeevil right from the start.

79: Michael sprung an ambush at Dick’s Bridge. Unfortunately Michael used a dozen local yokels to spring the ambush instead of those highly trained border wardens we saw earlir. They prove to be as about effective as local locals usually are and Dick and co. escape.

84 minutes: Fane’s taken Chase’s wife hostage! And he knows Chase knows a way through the boundary because he saw chase using a midlands sword! Aside from that small lapse by not killing Richard, Fane is proving to be quite clever and effective.

94- Addie! Was Addie blind in the books? She is in the TV series. Fane threatens to kill one of Chase’s daughters and Adie gives him a magic rock to walk through the boundary! But the good guys are about to arrive! Oh Fuck! And there’s a gar over head!

95- Fane just stabbed the girl to make her bleed so she’d attract the Gar and buy Fane time.

96 But not much time apparently. Richard just beheaded the gar! Shame on Richard, doesn’t he know Gars have children and have to feed them like everyone else?!

100- They dump an unconscious Zedd with Addie (he was attacked and laid low by a grim reaper type monster at the edge of the boundary) and then Dick and Klan are riding hard after Fane!

102 They find Fane standing in front of the boundary. More slow mo fights!

103- Dick just ran Fane through with the Sword of Truth! I’m betting Fane is really regretting not killing Dick when he had the chance. I’m actually rather sad to see Fane go since he was a very effective villain. Goodkind’s usual bad guys are normally defeated because they’re dumber than rocks.

107- Darken Rahl’s army managed to pierce the boundary by firing magic rocks at it with catapults. Even though Fane is dead, Dick now has to fight 50 guys with only Kahlan to help him! They explain Dicks fighting skills by saying it’s the swords magic but Klan seems to be doing just as good without magic. In the books Klan would never upstage Dick in such a way. Color me shocked.

108- Zedd just woke up! Addie tells em where his friends went.

109 Klan just used her power on one of the few remaining guys. It wasn’t necessary if you ask me since she was kicking just as much ass a few moments ago. She does have a minion to fight from her but using her power makes her weak and now some bad guys are walking towards her in slow mo and going to kill her!

110: Richard jumps to her rescue (in slow mo) and kills the bad guys! They killed about 50 people just by themselves.

113: Zedd shows up. He’s far too late to provide any help, of course. This trait is taken straight from the books.

115: They decide to go through the boundary to stop Darken!

115: Darken Rahl just licked his fingers! Like in the books! Wait, the underling reports that the book of counted shadows was destroyed!? Is this true? I must have missed that while I was typing.

118: The last lines of the episode seem to indicate that the series is going to have a villain of the week type deal.

[Foreverlad]

Zap,

AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME work.

Yeah, in the books Adie was blind, but she had that magical sight. Prior to the first book she had been tortured by people (they were like witch-hunters or something, they showed up in book 3 I think it was) and had her eyes burned.

When the Dharans busted the barrier open with magic they threatened Dick to give them the book, so he tossed it into the fire and that's when that 50 man fight broke out.

[The Wolf Maid]

so, does anyone have a clip of the odd-looking vine?

Damn, I was cringing the whole time I was reading Zap's summary. They took a lot out! No ban fire speech, no Wizard's first rule...and NO 'no penis'! Augh.

[Myshkin]

[quote name='Zap Rowsdower' post='1575128' date='Nov 2 2008, 20.29']115: Darken Rahl just licked his fingers! Like in the books! Wait, the underling reports that the book of counted shadows was destroyed!? Is this true? I must have missed that while I was typing.[/quote]
The biggest disappointment was that there was no Carl scene. Poor Carl :cry: .

[quote name='Foreverlad' post='1575156' date='Nov 2 2008, 22.45']Yeah, in the books Adie was blind, but she had that magical sight. Prior to the first book she had been tortured by people (they were like witch-hunters or something, they showed up in book 3 I think it was) and had her eyes burned.[/quote]
It was the [s]Children of the Light[/s], I mean the Blood of the Fold.

[Andhaira]

Richie Rich fights 50 people? Wasn't the baku ban mana bullshit supposed to come in book 2 or something?

Did they show Shota?

[Exa Inova]

All right people.
Since I live in jibber jabberstan, I want a link where I can watch this series on line and I want it snappy.
From what I read they are straying greatly from standard liturgy although vines are odd.
appairantly testicles are not lost and fire speeches are not given. I must see this with my own eyes.

[Xray the Enforcer]

Clara the duplicitous chicken is CLEARLY foreshadowing to EVIL MANIFEST.

[theMountainGoat]

Perhaps Clara is Good Manifest and will in a future episode battle the Chicken that is not a Chicken which is Evil Manifest in the Ultimate Fight to determine who is the greatest Manifest and decide the fate of life, the universe and everything.

Man that would b AWESOM!!!!!1111!!! one

[greenMockingbird]

I don't know where you could watch it online, exactly, but there are at least a couple dozen torrents hanging around...

[Muttering Bill]

I forgot to put this on Saturday night, but fortunately I had set the DVR. Or may not fortunately. I put it on last night only to find... news. The first half hour of the show was just local news.

While I find it delicious that the show got bumped, I'm also concerned that I didn't get the whole thing. I watched, by Zap's report, the first hour - but I don't think I'm at the hour and a half mark on the recording. So maybe it was shown with limited commercials, and that they squeezed the whole episode into an hour and a half. Let's hope.

Anyway, from what I've seen so far... it's [b]TERRIBLE[/b]! It's so bad that I'm kind a little sorry for the Yeard's fans. The dialogue is wooden, the action is clumsy, the special effects look silly, the story is patchy.

Weren't Zedd and Dick supposed to be friends? Now he's just the crazy old guy in the forest. Who the hell is Fane (to be fair, the actor did a decent job considering what he had to work with). Dick's not supposed to learn about Klan's power that early - now there won't be any tension. No fire speach? No penis-snatcher scene? What the hell!

It's so bad that I shall now have to watch it every week.

EDIT - there certainly were a lot of cleavage shots. Tairy must have had something about that put into the contract.

[Foreverlad]

[quote name='Myshkin' post='1575187' date='Nov 3 2008, 05.28']It was the [s]Children of the Light[/s], I mean the Blood of the Fold.[/quote]

But of course! Thanks, completely forgot.


[quote]Richie Rich fights 50 people? Wasn't the baku ban mana bullshit supposed to come in book 2 or something?

Did they show Shota?[/quote]

Basically. Whole shitload of Darken Rahl's men are after the Book of Counted Shadows. Forget quads, we're talking squadrons. It's just like it was described above. Dick goes all UFC with a sword on their asses while Kahlan's backslapping bitches left and right. Only difference between this scene and the Baku ban mana is that these guys weren't raised from birth to fight and all married to the same rape victim.

Just the same, for a guy who's been using a sword for no longer than a week, it's pretty stunning the shit TV lets you get away with. May as well be watching a cowboy sucker-punch a ninja.

Edit: No Shota. By the end of the episode they had only JUST passed through the barrier (in time for a wondrous green-screen sunset.) They just landed in Oz, haven't even stepped onto the Yellow Brick Road yet.

[kuenjato]

[quote name='Muttering Bill' post='1575588' date='Nov 3 2008, 10.34']No penis-snatcher scene? What the hell!

It's so bad that I shall now have to watch it every week.[/quote]


I forgot about the penis-snatching scene (i read WFR ten years ago). What was that about?

Massively disappointed the "We must ban fire!" speech was cut, as that was the moment I realized Goodkind was shit.

[Perin Stone]

[quote name='kuenjato' post='1575598' date='Nov 3 2008, 12.40']I forgot about the penis-snatching scene (i read WFR ten years ago). What was that about?[/quote]

Zedd took care of an angry mob by convincing them all that their junk had disappeared. He didn't use magic on them though. He just made them think it and they all believed because people are dumb.

[VigoTheCarpathian]

Random musings about this hunk of crap show:

1. My wife described it as "It's Xena, with the good parts of that show cut out like a tumor."
2. I lost count of how many times I said "Hey, wait, isn't this supposed to be...": I didn't think it possible, but they somehow made SoT EVEN WORSE. It's like discovering something colder than absolute zero.

3. Darken Rahl somehow killed a man instantly by slicing his wrist: he then filled up a cup and used the blood to write in (what I assumed was ) a journey book to the dudes lobbing magic-filled balls (heh) at the boundary. There was a lady in a red dress who helps him collect the blood, which I assume means that the Mord Sith will not be in skin-tight red leather. C'est la vie.

4. From what it sounded like, the boundary had been up thousands of years. And I remember them saying a "Seeker" hadn't been chosen in thousands of years, which leads me to believe they will have to leave Samuel out of the series (most likely because he'd be exactly like Gollum).

5. My wife noticed that in one scene, Klan was dressed in the green outfit that Dick was ogling her boobies in, and in the next (the final battle scene), she somehow had changed back into the white dress while riding a horse.

6. D'Harans are nothing like the master race TG wrote them to be: they all look like weaselly extras from a B-movie, not like warriors. And they fight like tools.

7. Richard has a magic slow jump attack that somehow suprises a soldier with his sword cocked back to kil Klan into (instead of just swinging and hitting him since he's in the way) completely change his sword swing and ending up skewered.

8. I suspect they could only afford one costume for Fane: there wasn't a single scene where he didn't have his mail cowl and massive plate on. I wanted to see a scene with him sleeping in it, or possibly trying to use the bathroom.

[The Iceman of the North]

[quote name='CarpathianTheVigo' post='1575642' date='Nov 3 2008, 19.12']3. Darken Rahl somehow killed a man instantly by slicing his wrist: he then filled up a cup and used the blood to write in (what I assumed was ) a journey book to the dudes lobbing magic-filled balls (heh) at the boundary. There was a lady in a red dress who helps him collect the blood, which I assume means that the Mord Sith will not be in skin-tight red leather. C'est la vie.[/quote]
What's the point of making SoT into a tv-series if you're going to leave out the Mord Sith clad in skin-tight red leather?

And whatever happened to the tall, blond, blue-eyed master race warriors of DR?

[Foreverlad]

[quote name='The Iceman of the North' post='1575769' date='Nov 3 2008, 15.46']What's the point of making SoT into a tv-series if you're going to leave out the Mord Sith clad in skin-tight red leather?[/quote]

Seriously.

It's one thing to keep your mouth shut and license a product to adapt it for TV. It's another thing entirely to stroke everyone's ego about how important the author's themes are, explain why you love this series and then excavate a septic tank, toss the novels into it, set the tank aflame, then rebury it.

Everything that made the novels Tairy's has been destroyed. If it were replaced with original ideas or anti-cliches, that's one thing, but to remove Tairy's vision and supplant it with a 13 year old's, you're wasting everyone's time.

I hope Tairy was paid with the promise of royalties. He'll finally get what he deserves.

[Rimmer]

It was kinda funny when they had a really blatant cleavage shot followed by Zedd going "I see the way you're looking at her, boy!"

The end speech was hysterical too. May as well have been, "We won't find him straight away... but we'll come across a different adversary every episode to overcome while the story arc stands still in the mean time!"

[Arthmail]

[b]May as well be watching a cowboy sucker-punch a ninja.[/b]


Quote of the year!


Also, its sort of funny...and sad...watching the Yeard's fans turn the knives on each other. Some want the show to be so divorced from the book that its acceptible. Some think it was okay for what it was. Those who have become the real enemies of the state, however, are those that simply cannot accept that nothing remains the same except the names. The rest of the feral Yeardites turn on them with anger and justifications, and it looks like their little fun room is running red with blood.

[kuenjato]

[quote name='Arthmail' post='1576108' date='Nov 3 2008, 16.53'][b]May as well be watching a cowboy sucker-punch a ninja.[/b]


Quote of the year!


Also, its sort of funny...and sad...watching the Yeard's fans turn the knives on each other. Some want the show to be so divorced from the book that its acceptible. Some think it was okay for what it was. Those who have become the real enemies of the state, however, are those that simply cannot accept that nothing remains the same except the names. The rest of the feral Yeardites turn on them with anger and justifications, and it looks like their little fun room is running red with blood.[/quote]

It's beautiful, IMO. The carefully crafted bubble of no-dissent no-critique suddenly pops with the "television event of the year!!!!11"