DJDonegal Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 We've all had it done to us. Hey, maybe we've even done it to somebody else. Maybe we thought it was funny, maybe we were drunk. Maybe we thought she could do better than go home with that guy. But one thing is for sure - cockblocking is an evil the world can do without. Imagine the situation. You're in a bar. You've had a few beers to get that dutch courage going and finally make your way over to that girl in the black dress. She isn't necessarily hot, but it's been a long time and you're worried about the friction burns your right hand man has been compaining about for a couple of weeks now. You feed her the line, you make her laugh, you sit down. You get talking, you're in, everything is going great. You offer to buy a drink but when you come back from the bar, there's your friend, moving in on the chick you've just been speaking to. You sit down and try to casually brush your friend off but he's wasted. He's gone beyond dutch courage and now he's just embarrassing. Where she was flirtily twirling her hair before, now there is only nervousness. She looks from him to you and back to him. She needs a toilet break, of course, to freshen up. Your friend looks smug with himself as he watches her go before you lay it down that you saw her first. Big mistake. If there's one thing a cockblocker doesn't like, it's being told he's a cockblocker. Usually he doesn't even realise he's doing it. He thinks he's just being a good wingman, but most of the time he's being drunk. And if he's not being drunk, he's being funnier than you are, better dressed than you are and buying better drinks than you are. It's a bad situation, but a cockblocker never thinks of himself as doing anything wrong. If she goes home with him instead of you then, well, you just weren't trying hard enough. If she leaves the table to rejoin her friends, she was never good enough for you anyway. But he's forgetting that you're reaching breaking point - remember, it's been a while. You were making all the right moves, and that cockblocker stuffed it all up. Cockblockers are a bane on the sex life of the average male, and they need to be stopped. The next time you're out with a group of friends and one of them starts talking to a girl, stop and wait a minute, and don't go over because it looks like an easy way to get at her or her friends. Unless he makes the signal, then forget about it. He's on a mission and you're just going to ruin it. Stop being a cockblocker. Stop being a prick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pan Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 so who'd you cockblock last night? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delete this account pls Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 I've got a friend who delights in doing this all the time. He's an asshole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 Cockblocking in not allowed in my circle of friends. You get one warning, then you're out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
▲Jim▲ Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 Fuck that, if someone cock blocks me one of two thing happen. We get into a fight, or I never talk to the fucker again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 After he passes out, steal his kidney and sell it on the black market. He won't cockblock you again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S John Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 I can handle the obvious cock blocker. Its the guy that you're good friends with that is still hanging around late-night that gets me. He's shitfaced and no longer has the capacity to assess the situation. He truly doesn't realize that his very presence is cock blocking you, and there isn't a tactful way to deal with it. Also not to be underestimated: the female friend of the target cock block. "We came out together, and [i]we are going home together[/i]." FUCK! Just because you have a boyfriend or didn't find an interested party tonight is no reason to fuck up my day. I've probably invested some time into this, and now its wasted, a whole evening and god knows how many drinks... right down the toilet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mashiara Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 Wonderful thread. I get to find out what cockblocking [i]really[/i] means... and it's not at all what I thought it was. :leaving: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delete this account pls Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 I bet that Jacen guy is a cock blocker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S John Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 [quote name='Brady' post='1701777' date='Feb 26 2009, 23.18']I bet that Jacen guy is a cock blocker.[/quote] I get that vibe too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delete this account pls Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 [quote name='mashiara' post='1701775' date='Feb 27 2009, 15.18']Wonderful thread. I get to find out what cockblocking [i]really[/i] means... and it's not at all what I thought it was. :leaving:[/quote] Out of interest, just what did you think it was? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 [quote name='S John' post='1701772' date='Feb 26 2009, 20.17']I can handle the obvious cock blocker. Its the guy that you're good friends with that is still hanging around late-night that gets me. He's shitfaced and no longer has the capacity to assess the situation. He truly doesn't realize that his very presence is cock blocking you, and there isn't a tactful way to deal with it.[/quote] There is. Don't party with him any more. Don't call him when it comes time to go out to the bar; let him sit at home and wonder where his friends are. After a few weeks it will become obvious to him, and he'll ask you what's up. Tell him he's a cockblock and that you simply can't afford to miss any more opportunities. He'll either reform his cockblocking ways, or he won't. But a cockblocker makes for a poor friend anyway. It's a trust issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mashiara Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 [quote name='Brady' post='1701783' date='Feb 27 2009, 06.21']Out of interest, just what did you think it was?[/quote] I'm not sharing. :blush: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delete this account pls Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 Easy for you to say. I think it's mathematically impossible to cockblock the Goblin King. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcbigski Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 Funny, most of the time, in my experience, the cock blocker is one of her other girlfriends. Sometimes legitimately protective of her friend who has had too much to drink, but more often just a jealous jerk who is pissed because she isn't getting enough attention herself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
▲Jim▲ Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 [quote name='mashiara' post='1701790' date='Feb 26 2009, 21.24']I'm not sharing. :blush:[/quote] Mash, you need to share now. It is only fair since you brought it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 [quote name='mcbigski' post='1701793' date='Feb 26 2009, 23.25']Funny, most of the time, in my experience, the cock blocker is one of her other girlfriends. Sometimes legitimately protective of her friend who has had too much to drink, but more often just a jealous jerk who is pissed because she isn't getting enough attention herself.[/quote] That's what wingmen are for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 [quote name='Brady' post='1701792' date='Feb 26 2009, 20.25']Easy for you to say. I think it's mathematically impossible to cockblock the Goblin King.[/quote] It's the codpiece. Chicks dig it. [quote name='mcbigski' post='1701793' date='Feb 26 2009, 20.25']Funny, most of the time, in my experience, the cock blocker is one of her other girlfriends. Sometimes legitimately protective of her friend who has had too much to drink, but more often just a jealous jerk who is pissed because she isn't getting enough attention herself.[/quote] Where I'm from we have an entirely different term for the female friend: she's called the guardian angel. We don't hate her in the same way that we hate the cockblocker because she's just doing her job. Generally you can get around the guardian angel if you have a friend who has low standards. This is called "jumping on the grenade". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S John Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 [quote name='Myshkin' post='1701800' date='Feb 26 2009, 23.31']This is called "jumping on the grenade".[/quote] :lol: I've always liked this term. Every group of friends needs a go-to for a grenade jumper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mashiara Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 [quote name='Jimmm' post='1701794' date='Feb 27 2009, 06.26']Mash, you need to share now. It is only fair since you brought it up.[/quote] Maybe I just enjoy teasing you guys. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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