Arbor Gold Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 [quote name='Eefphrodite' post='1705966' date='Mar 3 2009, 07.33']Even if you could, and everyone posting in this thread was BFF in real life, there are another X-thousand members of the forum and innumerable people who will read this without being a member. This isn't a locker room, it's more like taking over the PA system to make some announcements.[/quote] Really good point, but frankly, when it comes to fucked-up gender relations, I'm a lot more concerned with the millions of teenage girls reading Twilight than I am about the lurkers reading this particular thread. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddy Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 [quote name='Angalin' post='1706050' date='Mar 3 2009, 16.56']Terra, I can't tell here if you're discriminating [i]for[/i] or [i]against[/i] the Irish here. :P [size=1]please let this not turn into a thread about the relative downtroddenness or not of the Irish thanks[/size][/quote] Look, Irishmen can make decisions for themselves. We don't need people to tell us things like when to stop drinking or which places are inappropriate to piss in public. After 800 years of oppression and segregation, it's nothing but condescension in the extreme. :tantrum: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balefont Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 [quote name='Arbor Gold' post='1706078' date='Mar 3 2009, 12.18']Really good point, but frankly, when it comes to fucked-up gender relations, I'm a lot more concerned with the millions of teenage girls reading Twilight than I am about the lurkers reading this particular thread. ;)[/quote] Yep, my sensitivities lie elsewhere. Those girls need some effing help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
needle Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 I don't get how teen romance books are worse than becoming de-sensitised to men calling woman 'shitscrapes' or cum buckets or whatever.. But hey, different strokes for different folks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Raidne Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 [quote name='denstorebog' post='1706058' date='Mar 3 2009, 12.03']I agree that's what he was saying - my point was, as potsherds phrased in her reply (at least by now that's what I'm hoping she was saying) - that it's also not a very good example if you're of the impression that guys actually very much *are* able to ignore their 'restriction'. Often you'll hear guys counter with 'we can't do that either', when in fact, they very much can. Whether you'll agree with that sentiment is a case-by-case evaluation; here I'm with potsherds.[/quote] Which do you mean? Do you mean guys get away with saying offensive things about women, but women can't get away with saying offensive things about men? That depends on whether you're talking about RL, or the board, was fortunately is better about that than RL. [quote]I don't know exactly what you mean by that, but the crux of the matter for me is that the 10% of reverse cases (or a *percieved* 50% of reverse cases which may actually only be 10% in reality) are usually used to dismiss the 90% of 'regular' cases. Similar to an example I heard earlier about rape cases, I've also heard it argued that 'women hit men too' in a discussion of domestic violence. It's a case of a guy feeling that his gender is under attack, and thus himself by proxy, so he'll reflect the 'blame' by pointing out reverse cases as a way of evening things out. I have no idea if that answers your question though.[/quote] I have never taken those arguments that way. With domestic violence, especially, the problem is with getting men to come forward and admit to having experienced it. This does not any way lessen the experiences of women who have experienced it. To Terra - I think the confusion comes about more with what Mormont and I were discussing earlier - when is a person being plied with drinks, and when is she not? Certainly feeding someone drinks with the intent to have sex with them when you don't think they would otherwise is wrong, and often date rape. And certainly men engage in that behavior more than women. But a lot of men are happy to go home with a girl who got herself drunk, who might not otherwise be into getting it on that night, and I think some people implied that those guys are [i]also[/i] date rapists in training. And that's what I take offense to. And that's what smacks of rank white-knighting protectionism to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teri Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 [quote name='Arbor Gold' post='1705630' date='Mar 2 2009, 22.06']If only I had the guts to post my Cocksucking thread. :([/quote] I keep waiting for that to happen. I don't want to start one myself for fear of being dubbed an attention whore. :leaving: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince of the North Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 [quote name='Angalin' post='1706050' date='Mar 3 2009, 10.56']Terra, I can't tell here if you're discriminating [i]for[/i] or [i]against[/i] the Irish here. :P [size=1]please let this not turn into a thread about the relative downtroddenness or not of the Irish thanks[/size][/quote] I'm really glad you said this 'cause I was about ready to jump all over it! :P [quote name='Paddy' post='1706083' date='Mar 3 2009, 11.21']Look, Irishmen can make decisions for themselves. We don't need people to tell us things like when to stop drinking or which places are inappropriate to piss in public. After 800 years of oppression and segregation, it's nothing but condescension in the extreme. :tantrum:[/quote] I couldn't decide if I should go with :thumbsup: or :drunk: to express my agreement with this so I think I'll just go with both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
denstorebog Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 [quote]Do you mean guys get away with saying offensive things about women, but women can't get away with saying offensive things about men?[/quote] I believe that the restrictions are looser for guys, but that many will still perceive it to be equal and thus use it as an example of non-bias. [quote]That depends on whether you're talking about RL, or the board, was fortunately is better about that than RL.[/quote] Primarily talking RL since I haven't been active around here for a year or so (though I obviously still carry the memories of previous gender threads). But when potsherds comments on the same pattern appearing on the board, I'm inclined to agree with her. Much as I'd want us to shed all negative traits when we log on, that's obviously not the case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
litechick Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Raidne, to address your point (and I probably should have done this a long time ago) I'm coming from the perspective of "protecting" women* because I preceived them to be the threatened party in relation to the comments being bandied about early on. If the subject of women's disappointed expectations comes up I will point out to women that no promises were made, they chose to take the drinks, etc. as appropriate. From my experience in my particular circle of friends (the female side) I don't hear complaints that they have been abused and deceived so much as "well, he turned out to be an asshole" as in "I knew I was taking a risk and now I'm taking my lumps." I am not some avenger for poor, weak females and I don't think that pointing out where one person is being mean necessarily implies weakness on the part of the recipient of the meanness. *women--not one particular woman, not every woman--more than 1 less than 100% Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Raidne Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 [quote name='litechick' post='1706124' date='Mar 3 2009, 12.53']I am not some avenger for poor, weak females and I don't think that pointing out where one person is being mean necessarily implies weakness on the part of the recipient of the meanness.[/quote] Indeed, but there is a difference between being mean and being sexist. I've said some pretty mean things about men who were trying to hit on me or my friends, and I'm sure you have to. Let me stick a preemptive argument in here for denstore - and that's not an example of minority behavior being used to counter majority behavior. I really highly doubt there's any gender difference on that issue at all. And I don't want the guys on the board feeling entitled to get all offended every time I call Kellhus a total pile-driver. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLoneliestMonk Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 [quote]What bugs me (and I can't speak for others) is the premise that if I impair someone's judgment enough by offering them drinks, then I might get what I want (sex). I don't think that's sexist in itself, but certainly in practice, it seems to be a tactics that men apply to women more frequently than the other way around.[/quote] im gonna have to disagree. ive had 2 girls try to use drugs to make me forget i had a girlfriend. neither was very subtle about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
▲Jim▲ Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Headed toward 400, I wonder if a new thread will spawn? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lany Freelove Cassandra Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 [quote name='GdMisfits' post='1706214' date='Mar 3 2009, 13.38']im gonna have to disagree. ive had 2 girls try to use drugs to make me forget i had a girlfriend. neither was very subtle about it.[/quote] so that is one guy to at least 3 women who have posted. Still think it applies more to men than it does women. The person did not say that women NEVER do this, just that it seems in practice that men do it more. (has happened many a time to me, but that is a long story that has been posted on the board before) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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