Guest Raidne Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Okay, goddamn it, when people are starting to see each other, i.e. [i]going on dates[/i], but not exclusive yet, i.e. would not call the other person their SO/girlfriend/boyfriend, they are [i]dating[/i]. So why do I hear from my single friends that all guys flip out at the mention of this term? What the hell? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord O' Bones Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 *flips out* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mance Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 [quote name='Raidne' post='1757648' date='Apr 16 2009, 16.05']So why do I hear from my single friends that all guys flip out at the mention of this term? What the hell?[/quote] I'd guess that its for the same reason that guys have trouble assigning a title to female aquaintances that they are friendly with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacuna Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 [quote name='The Mance' post='1757653' date='Apr 17 2009, 01.12']I'd guess that its for the same reason that guys have trouble assigning a title to female aquaintances that they are friendly with.[/quote] One of the very few things the English language lacks a definite, proper word for. I see the reverse all the time, as an English-Norwegian translator. Nice to have some "vindication". :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_BlauerDragon Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 For me (and I suspect I am not alone here), it's because if I am going out on dates with a girl then I am dating her. That means that she is my girlfriend, I am her boyfriend, and neither of us should be going out on any sort of date with anyone else until such time as the two of us have parted ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Raidne Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Then....WTF do you call it [i]before[/i] that point? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tzanth Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 I've never liked the term "dating." To me it implies a relationship built on a degree of traditionalist structure and all the sexist connotations that go along with it. It's like your giving into the system or something. :smoking: ETA: [quote name='the Blauer Dragon' post='1757657' date='Apr 16 2009, 15.19']For me (and I suspect I am not alone here), it's because if I am going out on dates with a girl then I am dating her. That means that she is my girlfriend, I am her boyfriend[/quote] Exactly my point! "Dating" has strong connotations of stereotyped gender roles and is thus a word I prefer to avoid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boiled leather Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 [quote name='Raidne' post='1757658' date='Apr 16 2009, 16.20']Then....WTF do you call it [i]before[/i] that point?[/quote] Why must everything be labeled? if you women wouldn't spend so much time trying to put us men in boxes, we'd all be much happier. lol. :rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Raidne Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 [quote name='tzanth' post='1757660' date='Apr 16 2009, 19.22']I've never liked the term "dating." To me it implies a relationship built on a degree of traditionalist structure and all the sexist connotations that go along with it. It's like your giving into the system or something. :smoking:[/quote] I hate this board. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warg Arry Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 While dating isn't the established relationship [u]yet[/u], it implies that that is what you are both there for. To see if a relationship can be successful. there is motive to the word. And if one is not looking for that out come. (the just for a good time thing) the word dating can be scary. they see the other person as no longer just trying to get to know them. But that the other person is looking at them with marriage and kids in mind. The word dating adds pressure to the situation. ETA: which was fine, in an era when the only time you went out with someone was to see if they were marriage material. But now. perhaps a new terminology needs to be established? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arbor Gold Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 [quote name='Raidne' post='1757658' date='Apr 16 2009, 16.20']Then....WTF do you call it [i]before[/i] that point?[/quote] "Hanging out". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lany Freelove Cassandra Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 [quote name='tzanth' post='1757660' date='Apr 16 2009, 19.22']I've never liked the term "dating." To me it implies a relationship built on a degree of traditionalist structure and all the sexist connotations that go along with it. It's like your giving into the system or something. :smoking: ETA: Exactly my point! "Dating" has strong connotations of stereotyped gender roles and is thus a word I prefer to avoid.[/quote] wtf? it is a VERB. It means going on dates. What sexist gender biasis does it connote? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime L Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 What we call dating now, they* called "going steady" back in the fifties. What they called dating back then, we call either "hooking up" or "hanging out" or "chillaxing"** But if we're honest with ourselves, it's fucking dating. Just call a spade a spade for chrissakes. *Mostly Bronn Stone. **Mostly LOON. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mance Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 [quote name='Raidne' post='1757658' date='Apr 16 2009, 16.20']Then....WTF do you call it [i]before[/i] that point?[/quote] Before that we're just "doing her" *runs away* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seventh Pup Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 When I was single I tend to say that I was "seeing" a guy, or that we had "gone out" a few times. "Dating" implies a more committed, traditional relationship then I usually wanted to convey. For me it was a continuum. Hanging out-> seeing someone-> Dating someone-> Dating someone exclusively (this must be explicitly stated by both parties!)-> fling->Being boyfriend/girlfriend-> who knows haven't gotten beyond that yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seventh Pup Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 [quote name='Jaime L' post='1757671' date='Apr 16 2009, 16.29']"chillaxing"** **Mostly LOON.[/quote] Seriously you make me want to conquer the English speaking world just so I can punish anyone who uses that word with tongue removal. :pirate: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IheartTesla Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 [quote name='Raidne' post='1757648' date='Apr 16 2009, 19.05']Okay, goddamn it, when people are starting to see each other, i.e. [i]going on dates[/i], but not exclusive yet, i.e. would not call the other person their SO/girlfriend/boyfriend, they are [i]dating[/i]. So why do I hear from my single friends that all guys flip out at the mention of this term? What the hell?[/quote] It's pretty straightforward. Let n be the number of times two people share the same geographical location with the intent of romantic involvement. When n<5 (say), they are going out on dates. From n=5 to n=15 (say), they are [i]dating[/i]. For n>15, they are now significant others. Your friends might have jumped the gun by implying to their guys they were [i]dating[/i] before the n=5 transition. No wonder their guy partners freaked out. Of course it could also be possible that all your friends to a woman are dating losers with committment phobia. Its been known to have a high incidence amongst the male population. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tempra Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 [quote name='tzanth' post='1757660' date='Apr 16 2009, 19.22']I've never liked the term "dating." To me it implies a relationship built on a degree of traditionalist structure and all the sexist connotations that go along with it. It's like your giving into the system or something. :smoking: ETA: Exactly my point! "Dating" has strong connotations of stereotyped gender roles and is thus a word I prefer to avoid.[/quote] Weird, if anything, I would have figured that "dating" was an important part of female liberation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arbor Gold Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 [quote name='cyrano' post='1757682' date='Apr 16 2009, 16.40']When n<5 (say), they are going out on dates.[/quote] Define "date." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seventh Pup Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 For me it's three dates, with him paying for at least one of them before the term "dating" can even being whispered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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