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Things about yourself you cannot rationally explian


Crazydog7

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For example even I see someone who has a pierced lip I get this irrational urge to grab a pair of pillars and ripe it out. I cannot explain this. Rationally I know that a pierced lip does not necessarily mean a trashy person and I'm probably an asshole for thinking such.

This is as opposed to my irrational fear of fire. I can explain that other then the healthy respect most people have for fire when I was younger I wore leg braces at night and couldn't get them off on my own I was always afraid fire would "get" me.

How about you guys?

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I'm afraid of choking. This has made it so that it is almost impossible for me to swallow pills. I know I swallow stuff much larger all the time while eating, but I just can't get past my fear enough to swallow a little pill.

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When I see:

Black + dreds = sexy (usually)

White + dreds = itching for scissors, :ack:

Have a severe soft spot for men with long nice white hair. (mmmm*cough*! :blush: )

Practically phobic of scorpions.

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Deep dark blue northern ocean waters. Whenever I see shows with Alaskan cruise ships or whale watchers or icebergs, I see that dark, cold water and I have some underlying fear of something under the surface.

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I have this bizarre fear of floors collapsing under too much weight. Makes my stomach roil. I have no idea where that comes from, but it made moving all the heavy furniture into my new top floor flat fun, I can tell ya!

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I am a good person and try hard to be good. Truth is I have a desire to be nothing but bad and I have to fight it all the time.

I can't explain this. I just know that I want so much to misbehave every chance I get.

It is very irrational. I don't seem to have a middle ground either. It is the good sweet person, or it is the hell raising slut.

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It often physically hurts to admit I am wrong and apologize to someone. I used to go way out of my way, even ending acquaintances and once a relationship so I would not have to admit I was wrong.

It would be a terrible fault if there were anything wrong with it.

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For me, still the dark. No idea, never had any significant issues in that dark that would associate badly...just...there's something in the dark around the corner ready to eat my face off.

Or Pennywise the Clown.

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For me, still the dark. No idea, never had any significant issues in that dark that would associate badly...just...there's something in the dark around the corner ready to eat my face off.

Or Pennywise the Clown.

I feel this way about my dark basement. I know it is just a basement and there is nothing down there to get me. But, it has so many hiding places and when it is dark.... :shudders:

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For me, still the dark. No idea, never had any significant issues in that dark that would associate badly...just...there's something in the dark around the corner ready to eat my face off.

Or Pennywise the Clown.

I have to have my room completely dark to sleep...even have a red light clock becuase the green ones make too much light. It is very weird. I just can't sleep well with any light.

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I have a deep seated fear of ever opening myself up to another person. I think it is more a fear of rejection than fear of whats really inside me.

And much like Lany I have to work to be "good", I would much rather indulge all of my baser nature.

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It infuriates me to no end when people tell me things that I already know. And whenever it happens I always think to myself I have no right to get mad at these people because how could they possibly know what I do and do not know. But I still get pissed.

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I'm irrationally risk-averse. I've held myself back so much in life through refusing to take a chance on good opportunities that would involve jumping into the unknown. I have to be very logical to force myself to overcome it, and yet I still take those risks slower than I knew I should.

Considering my grandfather and aunt were/are agoraphobes, I wonder if I have a diluted inclination in that direction.

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For example even I see someone who has a pierced lip I get this irrational urge to grab a pair of pillars and ripe it out. I cannot explain this. Rationally I know that a pierced lip does not necessarily mean a trashy person and I'm probably an asshole for thinking such.

This is as opposed to my irrational fear of fire. I can explain that other then the healthy respect most people have for fire when I was younger I wore leg braces at night and couldn't get them off on my own I was always afraid fire would "get" me.

How about you guys?

I hope I never meet you.

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I have an irrational fear of starving when I'm in hospitals or on a plane. I always pack a LOT of carry-on food for a plane trip, and eat right before getting on the plane so I usually end up over-stuffed by the time I get where I'm going. And I truly live in fear that I'll end up in a hospital some day without ID, no one will know I'm there and I'll starve (because for some reason I don't think the hospital staff will get me food. its totally weird).

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I'm a little obsessed and OCD with patterns, but in a weird controlled way. I have orders for eating certain foods and meals. I don't have to eat things that way, or perform certain other patterns in everyday life, I just enjoy them. It used to be worse when I was younger (had a friend in elementary school tell me I was a bit odd for eating my lunch the exact same way every day). You probably wouldn't be able to tell by looking at my desk or apartment and would most likely assume the opposite. However, I've probably spent far to much time doing things like eating chips, one ridge at a time or staring at the patterns I see in sidewalks, furniture, trees and clouds.

Mind you, this is all completely sober.

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