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Things about yourself you cannot rationally explian


Crazydog7

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I used to (like, elementary through high school. Don't remember exactly) think I could see the future in my dreams, though I was sensible enough not to tell people that.

Does that count?

On a related note, to this day I try to avoid flying on a left aisle seat of a plane because in high school I dreamed of dying in a plane crash while sitting in that position.

Spiders and snakes freak me out.

I also don't like wading in water if I can't see the bottom.

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When walking through familiar places, I often find myself trying to recapture the unfamiliar feeling that I had the first time I went there, like when you didn't know where all the roads led and everything was a bit strange and new. I have no idea why I do this; also sometimes with people, I try to remember what it was like to be meeting them for the first time.

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I'm a horrible procrastinator, to a ridiculous extent. I put off doing little things for ages and ages until it's become a huge issue that makes me sweat and panic about the fact that I haven't done it, yet rather than just spending ten minutes doing it, I just keep ignoring it.

Case in point, I lived in my parents house for a few months this year while they were living in Germany. They asked me to forward on any mail that arrived at the house, so that they wouldn't end up with any overdue bills and that kind of thing. They printed out a ton of redirection labels with their new address on, and left them for me so that all I needed to do was stick a label over the original address and put it into the mailbox, which is about a hundred yards away from the front door, and which I passed every day when walking to the bus stop.

Every day, I would get home in the evening, pick up the mail, look at it, and set it aside on the hall table, thinking "I'll sort that out later". Every day, I didn't. After about a week, I started panicking that I hadn't done it, thinking that there would be bills in there and they'd not get paid in time. After a few more days, I woke up in the night in a cold sweat about it. Yet did I actually sit down and spend the fifteen minutes it would have taken to sort it out and post them? No. I physically had to force myself to do so after about two weeks, feeling sick all the while, thinking "Never again will I do this".

The following day, I arrived home from work, picked up the mail, looked at it, and set it aside on the hall table to deal with later. Rinse and repeat.

I don't know why I do that, but I do it all the time about all kinds of things. I hate it, but it's like a compulsion.

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I have some of the same tendencies to procrastinate as Silverstar, in particular wrt types of work that is not routine but still considered not interesting.

I have an irrational fear-slash-disgust for wasps and wasplike insects. I have never been stung AFAICR, and have no reason to believe I'm allergic. In any event, it's not the fear of being stung, it's an overwhelming sense of disgust simply by beholding those f*cking little critters, knowing they're in my vicinity, and/or the thought of being touched by them. It makes my skin crawl. Encounters outdoors I handle much better than indoors, the latter of which is usually accompanied by a sense of claustrophobia.

I also have a thing with asking questions, a problem I battle constantly. I'm supposed to know stuff, and asking questions hints at not knowing. I must forcibly resist the impulse to nod my head and mumble Uh-hummm (as if I know what the hell they're talking about) instead of simply asking...this can become a really big problem in work situations.

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This is not an irrational fear. I once got on a plane for what was supposed to be a quick 50 minute flight in the middle of an afternoon. The plane pulled away from the gate and sat out on the tarmac for the next 7 hours due to weather and lack of open gates before the flight was canceled and we were allowed off. There was no food on the plane and there was only a minimal amount of beverages since it was supposed to be a quick flight.

Okay I wasn't literally starving but I was really really REALLY hungry sitting on that plane from 4PM - 11PM with no food. And ever since then I always eat before my flights and take at least one complete meal on board with me. And snacks. LOL.

oy! I almost had a panic attack just reading this. What a total nightmare. Did you have plenty of water at least?? I hope I can scrub this image out of my mind before I have to fly next (November)!!!

to those who said they have left/right issues... I don't have that exactly but I have the same trouble with east/west. I always have to think "New York/California" and visualize a map to get it straight. I always feel silly about it.

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I don't know if I'd consider this irrational, in fact I'd probably consider it pretty rational, but...

I check my pockets left and right pockets for my keys/cell phone and wallet every time I get up from sitting down somewhere.

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I have an irrational fear that I will be taken by a bizarre impulse to kill myself.

I do not fear heights. But when I stand at a balcony, I always picture myself jumping off. Then I start to fear blurring thoughts and action, and slowly back away from the balcony.

This sometimes comes up driving as well. Especially if there is heavy traffic moving quickly in the opposite direction. Just one quick flip of the wrists to end it all...

I'm not suicidal. But the surest way for me to continually think something crazy is to try hard not to think it.

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This sometimes comes up driving as well. Especially if there is heavy traffic moving quickly in the opposite direction. Just one quick flip of the wrists to end it all...

I think about this when I'm driving sometimes too. I don't want to kill myself and I don't want to die, but there's a kind of power in knowing that you have the ability to make your own life come to an end, and a kind of fragility in knowing that you could be gone so fast.

**

I find it irrational although not unexplainable that I get so upset about my parents' disapproval. I don't and can't live my life based around their beliefs, but I feel like I have their disappointment lurking at the back of my mind. I've gotten a lot better about realizing that I am not responsible for their happiness, but even now, I'm about to put an offer on a house, and I keep having these thoughts come up about how they aren't happy for me.

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Eating fish. I got a fishbone lodged in my throat when I was a kid, and now I can't eat fish.

A crippling fear of embarrassment. If there's a chance I might end up looking like a complete fool, I freeze. Self-deprecation is no problem, but an honest mistake that makes me look stupid, no way. Occasionally I think of a few instances where that has happened, which leads to me swearing and/or punching the wall.

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Does anyone know WHY some people have dreams that come true?

This has happened to me. It's really weird. Other times, I'll dream something that does come true but not in the way that happened in my dream--the event does happen, but the details are different. It's not always the next day or even a week later. I've had it happen months or even years later. I don't know why that happens--I really can't explain it.

I have an irrational fear of flying. Again, no idea why. I think it has to do with not being in control and not having my feet firmly on the ground. I'm almost as bad as Mr. T's BA from the A Team--I need, at minimum, a Benadryl to even get on the plane, even though I'd rather have Xanax or Valium or even Ativan. My other semi-irrational fear is that I won't go more than waist deep in the ocean. I was 5 when Jaws first came out and my mom took us to see it at the drive in...and I'm traumatized for life. I almost have a panic attack when my daughter goes way out, but I really try to not influence her. I don't want her to be afraid of the ocean just because I am. It's not fair and she loves it so much. I don't want to do that to her.

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I do not fear heights. But when I stand at a balcony, I always picture myself jumping off. Then I start to fear blurring thoughts and action, and slowly back away from the balcony.

Me too. Or that I'm just going to fall. Except I'm terrified of heights.

Whenever I walk down a long flight of stairs, I feel like I'm going to fall head first all the way down into a crumpled heap at the bottom. I hate doing laundry at our place, because of the stupidly long flight of stairs into the creepy-ass basement. Then I have to haul the clothes back up and hang out over our upper flat deck railing to hang them out on the line, and I feel like I'm going to fall head first into the ground.

So, I either need to a) get therapy, b) stop doing laundry, or c) move.

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There's alot of stuff I do that many would consider odd, but they are generally not irrational because if you actually ask, there's usually a good reason for it. I find this is the way it is with all people. Everyone has habits that just seem ... weird, but make perfect sense to that person.

As for ACTUALLY irrational stuff? I'm told it's odd that I always separate all my food on my plate. So if I'm eating, say, Roast beef with gravy, potatoes and veggies, I will make a space between the 3 different foods so they aren't touching. Then eat them one at a time (usually veggies, then meat, then potatoes). I don't like the foods mingling. I don't want gravy on my veggies and such.

Hmm, maybe even that ones not irrational...

Oh, and I hate high ledges, as I have an irrational urge to jump off them and an irrational fear that I will fall off them.

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I can't stand for people to know where I am, check up on me or anything like that. I like to just disappear for awhile. This is also why I don't like to answer my cell phone. When people ask me what I am doing or where I am going I will provide some kind of evasive answer. I also don't care where other people are and get pissed when people insist on telling me.

I also hate HATE other people touching my computers. They always fuck things up. This gets so bad that I bought my kids a computer to do their homework on so they would not have to touch any of my 3 computers.

I am also a freak about my CDs, DVDs and home theater. I don't like my car stereo turned up too loud when others drive it and I also hate having my car door slammed.

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