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Body language


ohmahgaw

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Just saw this article on AOL.com and it really got me thinking. Not only did I disagree with about 90% of what the "expert" claimed, I was actually extremely offended.

Sexist article

The fact that some men actually think this way disturbs me the most. The language used in the article, as some of the comments suggest, sounds a lot like what a rapist would think.

Maybe I am being over dramatic, but it really got me thinking about whether or not America really does live in a "rape culture."

Thoughts? Or am I just in an ultra-feminist mood right now?

Sorry if this is really poorly written, I have had a long day.

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Just saw this article on AOL.com and it really got me thinking. Not only did I disagree with about 90% of what the "expert" claimed, I was actually extremely offended.

Sexist article

I really can't understand how that 'expert' read so much into any of those stances. And way to go on beheading the woman in the picture to dehumanize her. Womens' bodies are often represented in pieces such as that so it's easier to discount her humanity.

The fact that some men actually think this way disturbs me the most. The language used in the article, as some of the comments suggest, sounds a lot like what a rapist would think.

I'm not sure that many rapists even consider the thoughts of women as much as the douchcanoe in the article seems to. I think it's pretty much beyond me to understand the thinking of rapists.

Maybe I am being over dramatic, but it really got me thinking about whether or not America really does live in a "rape culture."

America does live in a rape culture. So does all of western society. As far as I'm aware, the entire world lives in variations of rape culture. The greatest piece of evidence that equality does not exist.

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Rapists actually don't care about what women want or feel. If they did, they wouldn't be rapists!

This article reminds me of those ridiculous Cosmo articles; you know, the ones that claim (every week, it seems) to reveal What Men Are Really Thinking or provide A Translation Guide / User Manual To Guys. There might be a kernel of actual scientific research behind them, but they are usually inappropriately summarized and synthesized to the point of incoherence, then the author takes that nub of nonsense, mixes it into a stew of lazy stereotypes, and extrapolates that to draw an absurd conclusion ("If he doesn't propose to you within the first five minutes of meeting you, he's immature and probably has sexual fantasies about his mother!")

Body language is something that really exists, but I wouldn't recommend taking advice about it from a publication that features such Pulitzer-level articles as "The Eskimo Earpull and 5 Other Manliest Sports" and "6 World Cup Coaches Who Look Like James Bond Villains".

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ETA: I think that the language used in the article in describing those poses doesn't reflect what rapists think, but how we all feed into the rape culture with something as simple as how we describe women in this (and many other) contexts.

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Rapists actually don't care about what women want or feel. If they did, they wouldn't be rapists!

Very true, but there actually are men who would use the "oh she said no, but her body said yes" bullshit excuse for sexual assault that this article seems to be hinting at. Date rapists and drunken "frat" types use these excuses often enough.

The thing that really got my blood boiling, was that pretty much every pose was saying "I want you now, TAKE ME!" instead of "I am actually standing like this because its comfortable to me,"

Because, you know, every woman bases her posture and body language on hinting that she wants you to club her over the head and drag her lifelessly back to your cave.

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I agree the article sucked and I understand where women might feel offended (hell, I felt offended by some of the dumb shit on there), but there is some truth to women giving off signals via body language. If you don't agree then you're either a fool or just being argumentative.

p.s. guys give off signals via body language, too. Just in case anybody in the Pissy Panties Brigade wishes to flame me.

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The author seems to think every possible posture indicates a woman is ready to jump into bed with him. There's quite a few guys like that. And they refer to women in a similarly crude and juvenile way. If its genetic, I think natural selection is whittling it out of the gene pool. Most women dislike guys who assume every woman wants him.

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I agree the article sucked and I understand where women might feel offended (hell, I felt offended by some of the dumb shit on there), but there is some truth to women giving off signals via body language. If you don't agree then you're either a fool or just being argumentative.

p.s. guys give off signals via body language, too. Just in case anybody in the Pissy Panties Brigade wishes to flame me.

No, please don't get me wrong, body language, mixed with facial expression, tone of voice, environmental setting etc can be used to get signals. I am not denying that body language exists, I am saying that how this so called "expert" interprets female body language and signals is flat out WRONG. He is so 100 percent wrong it's not even funny. I am not offended at the notion that body language exists, I am offended that the expert implies it can be used to judge whether or not a woman will sleep with you, especially since, in his mind, every fucking pose is suggesting this.

The language is sexist as well, I mean this:

"She is postured like a young teenager. Her hand to her waist is not for power, but maybe for display (if she's thinking about anything at all)." <---If she is thinking about anything at all??? What kind of bullshit is that?

and another

"Pair this classic, crossed-leg sitting pose with her stiff upper torso, and Hogan says this one's a no-brainer:"

"She is prepared to be obedient," he says. "Her hands are keeping her posture straight and completely open and her neck is completely exposed. That's as open an invitation as she can give you."

"Her crossed leg indicates she is planning on staying here with you for as long as you like," he adds.

Prepared to be obedient??? Maybe sitting with my legs crossed is comfortable...Where the hell does obedient come from? Open invitation? For what exactly?

Ugh

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One thing that always strikes me as hilarious is that we always get these analyses from persons of the opposite gender.

Cosmo and its ilk has women telling women how men think and feel, how to please your man. Whatever publication this is has a man telling men how to interpret women's body language.

Colour me dubious as to the veracity of any of these articles.

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Yeah, I'm not saying that body language doesn't exist. Hell, there is probably at least one woman somewhere who has pulled those poses and meant what he said. That doesn't mean you should trust an article found on a website like that about science.

Very true, but there actually are men who would use the "oh she said no, but her body said yes" bullshit excuse for sexual assault that this article seems to be hinting at. Date rapists and drunken "frat" types use these excuses often enough.

Of course he'd say that he thinks she wanted it; if he didn't, he'd have to admit to being a rapist and why would anyone do that? You can cook up any kind of excuse weeks or months after the fact.

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The author seems to think every possible posture indicates a woman is ready to jump into bed with him. There's quite a few guys like that. And they refer to women in a similarly crude and juvenile way. If its genetic, I think natural selection is whittling it out of the gene pool. Most women dislike guys who assume every woman wants him.

The article also claims he's an expert because he has written 19 books on the subject. I don't care how many books he has written, he's dead wrong. If a woman is interested in you, and you're not a basement dwelling stalker who is socially awkward and misinterprets signals, you will know. It doesn't take 19 books to explain this. Men either get it or they don't, and no amount of bullshit reassurance and stroking of their egos is going to help the fact that many idiots like this author are completely clueless as to what an individual woman is thinking or wants.

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And on top of all that, they're less likely to sleep with guys they actually like.

For my money, this line says it all. A man who is confused by this is a man who doesn't get it so thoroughly that there is no point in trying to explain it to him.

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For my money, this line says it all. A man who is confused by this is a man who doesn't get it so thoroughly that there is no point in trying to explain it to him.

Wait....so are you agreeing with that quote? I don't really understand what you are trying to say here.

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For my money, this line says it all. A man who is confused by this is a man who doesn't get it so thoroughly that there is no point in trying to explain it to him.

Guess there is no point trying to explain it to me then. :leaving:

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Wait....so are you agreeing with that quote? I don't really understand what you are trying to say here.

I suppose I am agreeing with the quote, just not the sense of bewilderment it's written with. I think there are valid reasons why caution should be in proportion to emotional investment.

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Men would not write and read admittedly bad articles about female body-language in the context of romantic interactions if the burden of initiating sexual contacts were not mainly placed on their shoulders, while women usually enjoy the privilege of being approached and can relax and watch amused what kind of ridiculous things the guy does and says in order to win her favor.

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