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Body language


ohmahgaw

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I am surprised hair twirling wasn't mentioned. It is one of the biggest clues* a girl wants a guy. Why not just add that to the rest.

(or it could mean she is deep in thought)

According to that article, she doesn't do much thinking, ergo she must be into you!

(If you ever have a conversation with me and I'm playing with my hair, please don't assume anything more than it's a habit I've developed.)

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But see, women and men don't start conversations with "Hey, I am going to start flirting with you ok?" So often enough, one person believes the other is flirting when they are not. I tend to see men more confused by this than women. If a man is flirting with a woman, she usually tries to give him the benefit of the doubt and think "ok well maybe he's not flirting maybe he's just being nice" whereas when a woman is flirting, or not flirting, a guy will think "she wants to bang me"

Well, women seem to be more inconsistent at sending out the signals as well. Most men have their normal behavior and their flirting behavior for the most part. Women seem to ratchet it up depending on the situation and some women use the flirting voice, behavior in most situations with the touchy feely cutsy interactions. And other women play games and flirt for mere confidence. In a society where men are expected to make the first move or be doomed to solitude, it can be awfully difficult to decide which kind of behavior a woman is giving off. Those who just assume she's being nice are the ones who never make a move and lose their opportunity, while their female friends tell them "You idiot, she was into you". And it is possible for a guy to have interest in a woman and perceive her interest without it being about "she wants to bang me". Some dudes, believe it or not, think deeper than that.

And anyway, it wasn't the fact that body language was being analyzed that upset the women in this thread, it was the manner in which women were portrayed. I don't care if you are in a "flirting context" crossing your legs doesn't make you "obedient" anymore than pointing your toes makes you "ripe for the taking."

But to some women such body language may be subconscious indicators of their mood or thought. When people are feeling a particular mood they are likely on the average to portray such moods through particular behaviors and postures. Likely there has been a lot of research done on the topic, just because it isn't indicative of how you feel doesn't mean that other women don't act in such ways. I believe the author even suggested that it isn't representative of all women.

To be honest I'm shocked some of the men in this thread don't realize what the underlying issue is. Body language is real, no one here denies that. The article is full of shit and portrays the most innocent poses as "she wants you to ravish her" which is disgusting and offensive.

You will know when a woman wants to ravish you when she is ripping your clothes off. You will know when a woman wants to go home with you if she says "I want to go home with you"

I use to be the typical nice guy, too afraid to make my move, too worried about disrespecting women to interpret her feelings towards me. That doesn't work. I've had fellow female friends use much worse language when telling me how I blew it with a woman when it was quite obvious to them that I a woman I had been talking with wanted to "take me home" to put it kindly. You see, what you suggest is nice, but it doesn't work in the real world. Women don't say "I want to ravish you" very often, and even then usually only after the guy has read it as such and made the move. Women like a guy who has confidence, or a carefree attitude. If a guy waits for a woman to say "I want to come home with you", he's going to be waiting a long time. There would be a lot fewer people on this planet though.

So it's all women's fault. Are you really going to go there or are you joking? The only kind of men who write shit like this, or read shit like this in the hopes of scoring, are men who do not consider women to be people, just objects of their sexual desires. It's no wonder then, that men like that have trouble with women. Here's a hint. How about actually treating women like fellow, equal human beings for a change, I think that would do wonders.

In the "hooking up" context, sex is going to be a big part of the picture, and as such there is going to be some objectification, or perceived objectification. And what's so bad about that? Just because somebody is an object of somebody else's desire doesn't make them not a human. Your body is part of who you are, why not enjoy it? Why not enjoy it with other people? Not all objectification is bad. Hell, just last week at a show, a woman I had been playing the eye dance with, came up to me and grabbed my ass, ran her hands up my stomach and kissed me. Maybe that's objectification, but I didn't mind. It's human nature.

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I think it's great that a bunch of uber-geeks are discussing how to get laid on a board dedicated to a fantasy series. It's like watching a bunch of Americans talking about Soccer. Bunch of folks talking about shit they know nothing about. I love the internet.

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Yes yes, men are evil, we get it.

Not the most mature or intelligent way to start a post where I assume you mean to be taken seriously. (Not that I personally ever take you seriously on any topic regarding women.)

Yet those types of men typically get a lot more women.... so the whittling process must not be working. Or maybe some women are missing the memo.

Those types of men get a lot of tail? Sure, could be. They aren't, imo, worth taking seriously though, so their genetics when passed on may be due more to accidents than serious family planning on the part of women. Just a thought though, nothing to back that up.

Fyi, Ohmahgaw, wanting to have a serious discussion about these sorts of things are somewhat difficult on this forum since many of the folks that wish to weigh in are the ones least able to discuss it without referring to anecdote and their personal awkward experiences (and a whole lot of whining). Best to wait till the weekdays too, when more of the awesome feminists of the board are likely to post. :)

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Yes yes, men are evil, we get it. But I thought maybe I'd point out that the man's head is cut off in the pictures as well. Because it's an article about BODY LANGUAGE. FOCUSED ON THE BODY.

a glib response to a serious comment. evilness is irrelevant, and potsy's post didn't get into the theology of gender. the point is the one of the key tropes of the pornographic is the dismemberment of the body to suit the lustful eye of the voyeur. this is pretty standard stuff. that the article adopts this trope classes it is pornographic, considering that the implied voyeur is the subliterate heterosexual fratboy (which also renders the seeming dismemberment of the male bodies therein immaterial).

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I think it's great that a bunch of uber-geeks are discussing how to get laid on a board dedicated to a fantasy series. It's like watching a bunch of Americans talking about Soccer. Bunch of folks talking about shit they know nothing about. I love the internet.

Petey Petey Petey. Don't be a hater Pete.

Just because you love reading fantasy and the net. Doesn't mean you'll have a loveless sexually ungratifying life. A good portion of the boarders are in happy relationships. Me, I'm married with two kids.

It might not happen for you.. But know, you have hope. :cheers:

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Petey Petey Petey. Don't be a hater Pete.

Just because you love reading fantasy and the net. Doesn't mean you'll have a loveless sexually ungratifying life. A good portion of the boarders are in happy relationships. Me, I'm married with two kids.

It might not happen for you.. But know, you have hope. :cheers:

Hey, i'm a happily married man with a hot ass wife, i've got no complaints and a great kid. And i love being a hater.

and yes, for the most part, reading fantasy and spending long hours on the internet are pre reqs for having a loveless sexually un-fullfilling life. It ruins mine all the time.

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Hey, i'm a happily married man with a hot ass wife, i've got no complaints and a great kid. And i love being a hater.

and yes, for the most part, reading fantasy and spending long hours on the internet are pre reqs for having a loveless sexually un-fullfilling life. It ruins mine all the time.

Congratulations on the hot ass wife and the great kid!

If an uber-geek such as yourself has such awesome achievements.

Why would you think fantasy and the Internet would socially retard the rest of us.

BTW (in case I haven't said so already) Welcome to the board peterbound. :cool4:

OT, I'm trying to decide if I even want to read this article or if I should save myself the stress.

But so far it seems a bit imbalanced. Yeah from what has been quoted, I can see the reason for the disbelief and anger.

But in an effort to defend the rights we should be given as females and more importantly as human beings. We've (inadvertently or not) Taken all males and stuck them in the "sexist pigs" box.

I think it's fair to remember that not all men are out trolling for touch, single minded sex beast.

Just like not every woman is Strong, independent, free thinker who values self respect and intelligence.

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I think it's great that a bunch of uber-geeks are discussing how to get laid on a board dedicated to a fantasy series. It's like watching a bunch of Americans talking about Soccer. Bunch of folks talking about shit they know nothing about. I love the internet.

Once I put on my wizard hat and strap on my magic wand, you're going to pay for that comment, peterbound!

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The only kind of men who write shit like this, or read shit like this in the hopes of scoring, are men who do not consider women to be people, just objects of their sexual desires. It's no wonder then, that men like that have trouble with women.

Nonsense. There are lots of shy men who are lonely and looking for a long-term relationship but feel insecure with regard to their attractiveness and what you could call their “dating abilities”. They are afraid when it comes to approaching a woman, when it comes to flirting etc. Trying to cope with their fears, some of them turn to sources of help that are probably not very helpful, such as this article about body language. I don’t see why you have such a strong need to demonize these guys.

Here's a hint. How about actually treating women like fellow, equal human beings for a change, I think that would do wonders.

Here's another hint. How about actually treating men like fellow, equal human beings for a change, for example by taking an equally active role when it comes to initiating romantic relationships. I think that would do wonders.

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For my money, this line says it all. A man who is confused by this is a man who doesn't get it so thoroughly that there is no point in trying to explain it to him.

And it's true. The more you like someone, the harder it is. You're too afraid of blowing it. IMO that goes for both men and women.

Nonsense. There are lots of shy men who are lonely and looking for a long-term relationship but feel insecure with regard to their attractiveness and what you could call their “dating abilities”. They are afraid when it comes to approaching a woman, when it comes to flirting etc. Trying to cope with their fears, some of them turn to sources of help that are probably not very helpful, such as this article about body language. I don’t see why you have such a strong need to demonize these guys.

These guys have a hard time reading body language to begin with. Articles like this don't help. And a lot of them probably don't realize that their own body language leaves a lot to be desired. People like this (women, too) close their body language and make themselves unapproachable. A lot of shy men come across as cold, aloof and arrogant. I really don't think they know they're doing it, but how do you tell the difference between a shy man (or woman) and one that really isn't interested? The only way to know for sure is to ask outright, and who wants to put themselves in that position?

IMO the article is useless without showing facial expressions. The eyes really are the mirror of the soul and without seeing them it's impossible to tell what anyone is thinking, men or women. Pupils dilate when we're attracted to someone (which is why everyone looks so attractive in bars and clubs--the lights are low, and there's a lot of alcohol, both make the pupils dilate), and men do this flash thing with their eyebrows. It only takes a second, but if you can catch it, it's on.

Really, a smile does wonders. It makes you approachable and open.

Here's another hint. How about actually treating men like fellow, equal human beings for a change, for example by taking an equally active role when it comes to initiating romantic relationships. I think that would do wonders.

But men do the same thing. We're not creatures from Venus or Mars, really. Treat us like normal human beings and we'll respond to that.

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If a guy waits for a woman to say "I want to come home with you", he's going to be waiting a long time.
Not true.

Saurian, don't read the article. The first paragraph is immensely irritating and it just gets worse from there.

People who can interpret body language (and that's probably something most of us/lots of us do subconsciously anyway) don't need to read dross like this in order to get advice. People who can't read the signals or have a history of getting it wrong might want some advice but the answer is simple: don't look for it on the internet (e.g. AOL). Ask people you know to be knowledgeable on the subject.

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Yes yes, men are evil, we get it. But I thought maybe I'd point out that the man's head is cut off in the pictures as well. Because it's an article about BODY LANGUAGE. FOCUSED ON THE BODY.

a glib response to a serious comment. evilness is irrelevant, and potsy's post didn't get into the theology of gender. the point is the one of the key tropes of the pornographic is the dismemberment of the body to suit the lustful eye of the voyeur. this is pretty standard stuff. that the article adopts this trope classes it is pornographic, considering that the implied voyeur is the subliterate heterosexual fratboy (which also renders the seeming dismemberment of the male bodies therein immaterial).

It is also pretty standard stuff that the core intention of pornography is to turn the watcher on. The article obviously was neither written in order to turn anybody on nor will it have this effect von 99,999% of the readers. Thus, to construct an analogy between the article and pornography is absurd.

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Yes yes, men are evil, we get it. But I thought maybe I'd point out that the man's head is cut off in the pictures as well. Because it's an article about BODY LANGUAGE. FOCUSED ON THE BODY.

a glib response to a serious comment. evilness is irrelevant, and potsy's post didn't get into the theology of gender. the point is the one of the key tropes of the pornographic is the dismemberment of the body to suit the lustful eye of the voyeur. this is pretty standard stuff. that the article adopts this trope classes it is pornographic, considering that the implied voyeur is the subliterate heterosexual fratboy (which also renders the seeming dismemberment of the male bodies therein immaterial).

Probably not the best way to reply to her, but she does seem to take on a sharp man-hating attitude. As for the pictures, they were focused on the body because it was about body language. The man's head was cut off as well. They're trying to get you to focus on the body as BODY LANGUAGE is the topic here. There is nothing wrong with the pictures. The logic behind the article may be flawed, but the pictures are fine.

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core intention

the intent of the article may be different, but the composition of the concomitant photographs is textbook; i accordingly find no absurdity. motion denied.

A sparrow is not a dragon, although both have wings.

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There wasn't much to this article at all. It's certainly not helpful without facial expressions, which to my mind are absolutely inseparable from body language. In any case, while some people are much more subtle than others (and, certainly, the more you like someone, the more difficult it becomes to flirt and/or show interest), in a lot of cases you "just know" and that's that. If you have doubts, she may be shy or subtle in character, or else your doubts are worth listening to. I agree that for guys who can't interpret body language or pick up on signals, this sort of thing isn't too useful. Individual variation is always a huge part of this too, some people are much "touchier" and more into casual contact than others and it's usually impossible to know whether it means anything at first. Of course, if she asks you at some point whether you have a girlfriend, I think it's fair to take that as a sign of interest.

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Probably not the best way to reply to her, but she does seem to take on a sharp man-hating attitude. As for the pictures, they were focused on the body because it was about body language. The man's head was cut off as well. They're trying to get you to focus on the body as BODY LANGUAGE is the topic here. There is nothing wrong with the pictures. The logic behind the article may be flawed, but the pictures are fine.

But the body usually includes the head and the direction in which someone looks or the way someone turns his/her head can signal openess and approachability or reluctance and wish for distance as well.

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