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Prejudice against Geeks/Nerds


Lyanna Stark

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It is the case, I find, that those who're inclined to write off people on the board in general as 'lacking in social skills' or just as 'a bunch of nerds' are those who haven't met many of us in real life. :)

Oh yeah. Take me for instance. I'm a drinking, partying, sports-loving fool who fills most stereotypes of the hollywood red-blooded male; but that doesn't mean I don't love video games, pulled an all-nighter to read aFfC when it came out, and have an stylized atom tattoo on my upper arm.

And everyone else I've meet here is the same way; sure there's a geeky-side, but I've never meet a more beer-knowledgeable group of people.

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Something about video games here. I think there's a difference in what is perceived as "video game playing". Those who are branded the "nerds" and the "geeks" of the video game world are more apt to be playing Lara Croft (because she's oh so sexy! :P ) or Final Fantasy type games...those who are branded "jocks" or "cool" who are playing video games are more likely playing Madden or the Show.

It isn't a hard fast rule, but I bet a lot of the nerds/geeks being ridiculed for playing video games all day aren't trying to get through a dynasty setting on Madden so much as trying to get through a dynasty setting to save the princess...

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Personally I usually find myself trying to destroy the alien menace (who would steal our women and rape our cattle) with a really big gun.

Though speaking of Madden, the greatest player I ever encountered was a total shut-in, but he did like his football so Madden became one of his games of choice.

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I think you may be protesting a wee bit too much.. Listen, i'm sure you guys are all hard charging, rock and roll, bass ass cats.

I too have some geeky tendencies, but I can't shake the issue that i have with people coming on here and asking for relationship advice from strangers.

They have no frame of reference other than your online persona.

Again, i guess this is a point I won't get anyone to agree with me on this one, as most of you are more than likely to have in the past participated in this 'advice' activity. Just don't think i'll be doing it in the near future.

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I think you may be protesting a wee bit too much.. Listen, i'm sure you guys are all hard charging, rock and roll, bass ass cats.

I too have some geeky tendencies, but I can't shake the issue that i have with people coming on here and asking for relationship advice from strangers.

They have no frame of reference other than your online persona.

Again, i guess this is a point I won't get anyone to agree with me on this one, as most of you are more than likely to have in the past participated in this 'advice' activity. Just don't think i'll be doing it in the near future.

And once again, many of us are not strangers!

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I think you may be protesting a wee bit too much.. Listen, i'm sure you guys are all hard charging, rock and roll, bass ass cats.

I too have some geeky tendencies, but I can't shake the issue that i have with people coming on here and asking for relationship advice from strangers.

They have to frame of reference other than you online persona.

Again, i guess this is a point I won't get anyone to agree with me on this one, as most of you are more than likely to have in the past participated in this 'advice' activity. Just don't think i'll be doing it in the near future.

Well personally I wouldn't ask for relationship advice here or give it, but I don't do that with anyone, its stuff I deal with on my own. But I understand why people do, because two things:

1) Quite often people here do have a reference frame beyond the board.

2) Even if they don't, if you've been posting here for years and posting a lot (unlike say me, ~3000 in 10 years), then honestly unless you're a sociopathic-ly good liar you're online persona probably pretty much is you. And sure strangers can read or reply to your thread, but the people you're really asking for advice from are probably people who have also been posting for years.

Why is it more normal to ask advice face-to-face from someone you've known 6 months, then from someone you've known from the interwebs for up to 3,4,5,6 or even more years?

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Why is it more normal to ask advice face-to-face from someone you've known 6 months, then from someone you've known from the interwebs for up to 3,4,5,6 or even more years?

Probably for the same reasons it's more socially acceptable to date someone you met in a bar, than some one you talked to online for weeks, then met in person.

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I think you may be protesting a wee bit too much.. Listen, i'm sure you guys are all hard charging, rock and roll, bass ass cats.

I too have some geeky tendencies, but I can't shake the issue that i have with people coming on here and asking for relationship advice from strangers.

They have no frame of reference other than your online persona.

Again, i guess this is a point I won't get anyone to agree with me on this one, as most of you are more than likely to have in the past participated in this 'advice' activity. Just don't think i'll be doing it in the near future.

has nothing to do with being "hard charging, rock and roll, badass cats". has to do with knowing that out of the 8k-10k people on the board and the history of threads that have been made, perhaps someone from that pool has gone through what you...well, not you since apparently these things wouldn't happen to you...what someone is going through.

you don't have to ask for advice; another thing that many people tend to find is that they can get better advice by going to folks that aren't actually invested in the situation. So when, for example, my wife and I were having an issue with a neighbor I came to the board to ask for some pointers on rights of way. I didn't really ask my friends since their response would be "burn the fuckers house down. I have the gas."

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And once again, many of us are not strangers!

Then why don't you give them a call or ask them IRL? Why post it on here for the whole world t see you business?

I don't want to come off as a troll, or get asked the obvious questions: if you hate these types (us) why do yo come on here?

I like SFF, I like Comic Books, I like video games. I guess it was socialized differently when it comes to sharing the intimate details of my life on a message board. In my world you wouldn't do things like that.

Nor would you scream 'i'm a geek' from the roof tops. Case in point. I took Wizard Born (David Farland) in about 6 years ago into my work.

I still get shit about that.. to this day. Where as i knocked a guy out at work about 8 years ago, and they only bring that up in terms of respect. Just a different world i suppose.

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Major difference here (although i shouldn't have to point this out) is that all the above mentioned examples are you going to a TRAINED professional. Not a bunch of strangers on the interweb putting in their two cents about shit they more than likely have no clue about. Although they might be good on the first date idea, i have however seen people on here asking about some deeply personal shit. To me that is just strange. I have actual real life friends that i can discuss this situation with that actually know me and my personality, the situation at hand, and usually the other person involved. To me coming on here and asking about divorce, marriage, breaking up, shit like that is just weird to me. And bespeaks of low social skills in the real world. A person with strong ties in the real world would be able discuss those issues with family and friends in that setting.

I was going to write a response, but I think Chataya articulated what I was going to say much better. I want to thank you for a response.

On second thought, I am going to add something for your consideration. I had a client who suffered from social anxiety and was homeless for about a good 10 years. He also had a heavy drug addiction. Now he was a funny guy who could definately spin a good yarn, but being around people and a stimulating enviornment would over load him.

Anywho. He sobered up, engaged in mental health services and was able to secure stable housing. During this time, he discovered a new love, cooking and food. He loves food and he would review restraunts. Well, I and a colleague were able to secure a cheap computer, so he could write his reviews. He got an internet connection and has a blog, he does a weekly review of the cheapest restraunts in the city based upon those with an incredibly limited income. He has alot of followers and he interacts with them daily.

To sum up. This former client, he successfully completed treatment and no longer needed our services, with heavy social anxiety, can leave his apartment, go to a public place. He then returns to his apartment and communicates with a group of people through an online format that is comfortable for him. He has a stable enough social net that he doesn't feel the need or urge to use/nor driven to return to those friends who were apart of his using past. I would say, along with the other proffessionals who determined that Insurance no longer needed to bill for my support services, he is leading a functional and, if you ask him and judging from observable behaviors, happy life.

I guess you seem to be defining social relationships through a dated and narrow lens. You are also choosing to use fairly condescending and well, mean, language in a poor attempt to articulate your point.

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Then why don't you give them a call or ask them IRL? Why post it on here for the whole world t see you business?

I don't want to come off as a troll, or get asked the obvious questions: if you hate these types (us) why do yo come on here?

I like SFF, I like Comic Books, I like video games. I guess it was socialized differently when it comes to sharing the intimate details of my life on a message board. In my world you wouldn't do things like that.

Nor would you scream 'i'm a geek' from the roof tops. Case in point. I took Wizard Born (David Farland) in about 6 years ago into my work.

I still get shit about that.. to this day. Where as i knocked a guy out at work about 8 years ago, and they only bring that up in terms of respect. Just a different world i suppose.

Because, as Fez stated, it is far easier to come to the board and ask several attorneys a divorce related question than calling them one by one, and being charged for it.

It is also easier to ask advice from your group of friends this way than calling each of them separatly, or bringing up sobering issues at a get together.

In summary, it's more efficent to do it this way, and we geeks are nothing if not multitaskers and efficiency pros! :P

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I too have some geeky tendencies, but I can't shake the issue that i have with people coming on here and asking for relationship advice from strangers.

They have no frame of reference other than your online persona.

I've never asked for personal advice on a message board, but I have visited a therapist once. It helped, not because what he said to me, but because I was able to talk about my problems to somebody in no one connected to the rest of social sphere and who wasn't involved in any of my problems and refrained from judging.

The "no frame of reference" is a positive, not a negative.

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I've never asked for personal advice on a message board, but I have visited a therapist once. It helped, not because what he said to me, but because I was able to talk about my problems to somebody in no one connected to the rest of social sphere and who wasn't involved in any of my problems and refrained from judging.

The "no frame of reference" is a positive, not a negative.

In some respects i will agree, especially in marriage matters. However, these individuals you are speaking with are trained professionals, who usually adhere to a set of ethics and laws. These cats on the board do not and if they do should suggest you see someone in a more professional environment. Just a difference of looking at things.

And as to the attorney's. I respect the profession and capitalism too much to solicit professional advice outside of a customer/client relationship. They worked hard for that degree, they should get paid for any advice given. Most of what is asked and the advice given can be found on most major (and some minor) legal websites, so i see no need to seek that advice through people on a board.

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Then why don't you give them a call or ask them IRL? Why post it on here for the whole world t see you business?

I don't want to come off as a troll, or get asked the obvious questions: if you hate these types (us) why do yo come on here?

I like SFF, I like Comic Books, I like video games. I guess it was socialized differently when it comes to sharing the intimate details of my life on a message board. In my world you wouldn't do things like that.

Nor would you scream 'i'm a geek' from the roof tops. Case in point. I took Wizard Born (David Farland) in about 6 years ago into my work.

I still get shit about that.. to this day. Where as i knocked a guy out at work about 8 years ago, and they only bring that up in terms of respect. Just a different world i suppose.

I mostly agree with Peterbound on this stuff. But I mean, I think he has it right when he says it's just a different world. I'm not someone who goes to cons, and most of my friends aren't people who go to cons. I'm also not someone who forms close relationships with people online, it's more like vague acquaintances who I happen to see a lot in the same virtual areas of interest. Most of my friends are the same way, with probably even less internet exposure. It's just how you percieve the internet, is it a community or is it a tool?

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And as to the attorney's. I respect the profession and capitalism too much to solicit professional advice outside of a customer/client relationship. They worked hard for that degree, they should get paid for any advice given. Most of what is asked and the advice given can be found on most major (and some minor) legal websites, so i see no need to seek that advice through people on a board.

You know, it's not even so much what you are saying, but the way you are presenting it that is rubbing many of us the wrong way.

You are making us out to be socially inept, and disrespectful of people for doing what we do. We are feeling attacked, which I hope is not your intention.

(And here I go defending myself)

For me personally, I have not asked advice on the boards as to anything beyond birth control (but that doesn't mean I won't) mostly because I wanted a wider range of opions that my family/friends allow for. I threw in something pertaining to my divorce because I knew another member, who I've been discussing the matter with both IRL and on the boards, would respond quicker that way, and while many websites are out there to offer information, some of us are better at navigating through the BS to the specific one that will help in a particular situation.

Futhermore, there are entire forums dedicated to assisting people with health or legal matters free of charge, and while you will be quick to point out that these are generally run by trained professionals, you will still find opinion and personal experience viewpoints on them.

Bottom Line - If it's not your thing, don't particiapate in it. There are other sections of the board that may appeal to you more than this one. I don't enjoy golf, but I don't go to a golfing event and tell everyone there my every little negative opinion on the matter.

ETA Spelling

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Guest Raidne

Hmmmm...well, I certainly can't say that I've never had an advice thread here. I do this for no other reason than that the advice here is actually really good. My husband has tried, like, all kinds of different foods lately. Thanks guys!

And I like to get a nice broad survey of opinion. I mean, my friends are my friends, we have things in common, they're biased and they're also inclined to think more like I do. And I like diversity of opinion.

If only I had listened to everyone about my wedding...that's the real question - why do I never listen to the Board's advice???

And, one other thing, I always kind of assumed that I was some rare breed of non-nerd-nerd before I met people here, and it turns out, I am not a special snowflake at all - most of the people here are the same way. :dunno:

The last reason, is that, at heart, I'm a really shallow person and can't be bothered to have thoughts on, like, finance and philosophy or whatever on a daily basis, so it's nice to have a old-fashioned simple advice thread. Keeps things lively.

ETA: Wow. It's true - I would respond faster to something posted in a thread I've been reading than I would to a PM or text. I am a nerd, Jesus.

And fixed for more errors than I can count.

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Well, in the immortal words of Bill Gates:

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one."

Yep, essentially we're responsible for some of the largest business and most important innovations to have occurred.

"Oh you think I'm a nerd? That's to bad I'll be playing video games in my nice large office that your not allowed to see the inside of, you can head back to you cubicle now."

Of course I don't go hugely far on the nerd thing, I don't play D&D regularly though I would if I could find people to play with, I didn't get straight A's but could have if I ever bothered to study, and I don't read comics but that's a location problem as their is jo where to get comics out here. Essentially I could have been a stereotypical nerd but circumstance prevented it.

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I don't go to cons becuase I find them simultaneously too intellectually shallow and too socially demanding and overwhelming. I'm pretty sure that should place me on the bottom of some kind of geek scale of pathetic snobbery, but I manage to leave the house, hold a job and maintain a conversation with a degree of adequacy anyway. :dunno:

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Guest Raidne

And as to the attorney's. I respect the profession and capitalism too much to solicit professional advice outside of a customer/client relationship. They worked hard for that degree, they should get paid for any advice given. Most of what is asked and the advice given can be found on most major (and some minor) legal websites, so i see no need to seek that advice through people on a board.

Just a caveat, a major reason I went to law school is to be able to actually help people in some meaningful way, and I'm annoyed at the extent to which I am limited in doing this by my ethics rules, etc. But to anyone who's sent me a PM, or anything, if I mind, I'll tell you. But for the most part, I actually have a passion for the subject and always welcome a chance to learn something new about it. I mean, I get paid salary and not by the hour for my time anyway, so I just don't really care about the money I'm losing by not exploiting the hell out of everyone.

Having said that, please don't ask me to read your will. That is way over the line. And speaking of that, I've had an advice thread here about that very subject!

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